Believe in This

It was here, the night of the premiere, and I was in no way mentally prepared for what was about to happen. Two days after I had agreed to attend with Benedict two racks of designer gowns had been delivered to my flat along with an entire trunk full of jewelry and shoes to choose from. I guess being famous had its perks. Grace had put up with me the entire day as I went through each dress, meticulously weighing the pros and cons of each choice. Was the dress to revealing? Did it flatter me? Was it the wrong color? Would it match Benedict’s suit? Would I freeze my ass off? Would anyone besides me like it? My emotions were a little haywire, when everything had first shown up I had the temperament of a teenage girl with her parents card at the mall but within an hour or two I had succumbed to rolling up into the fetal position and questioning what had made me agree to go. It was right before this that I had settled on one dress but after that particular breakdown I started the process all over again. Four hours later, post breakdown, I said ‘to hell with it’ and settled on the two dresses I liked the most.

So here I was, standing in front of the mirror in the chosen dress attempting to keep my composure while I talked with Grace.

“Is it too late to call Ben and fake being deathly ill?”

“Charlotte Hughes, you are going to stop with all of this nonsense! You look absolutely gorgeous! Now, you are going to get your shit together, go downstairs and take a shot of that whisky you have stashed in your cabinet, brush your teeth, and prepare yourself for an unforgettable night.”

“Grace!” I whined.

“Stop whining! I don’t want to hear any more of your complaints! No there is not some rule about how long you have to be dating a person to attend a premiere or event with them! Obviously Benedict is extremely enamored with you otherwise he would have gone by himself. Now go do what I told you to do. I have to go, I’m getting the evil eye from my boss.”

“Grace, your mum is your boss.”

“That just makes it worse. Got to go! Bye!”

“I know, that makes it even worse. Bye.”

Taking a deep breath I looked myself over once more before grabbing my clutch and heading downstairs. Doing as Grace instructed, I took a generous sip of the whisky I had hidden away in my cabinets grimacing at the taste but hoping it would calm my nerves. Running back up to my room to brush my teeth I had just carefully reapplied my lipstick when the doorbell rang. The sight of Benedict standing on my stoop in his McQueen suit with his hair slicked back had me licking my lips and wanting to bring the lingerie I had on beneath my dress out to play way ahead of time.

Pressing his lips to mine gently I could feel my stomach clench at Ben’s words, “Darling, if we didn’t have a premiere to attend I would push you back into this flat and worship every inch of your body. You look absolutely ravishing.”

Ignoring my hormones I rushed out, “Are you sure because there’s another dress upstairs?”

“My dear Charlotte, you must have lost your hearing. Regardless, I will say it again. You look absolutely ravishing.” He replied, trailing kisses up my neck as he whispered the last words and letting his hands trail to my bum.

“Ben, we’re going to be late and we’re standing on my front step.” I ground out, though I in no way wanted him to stop with the attention.

“Oh yes, decorum. Well then we should probably go before I blow off this premiere in favor of pulling down the zipper of this dress with my teeth.”

Taking my hand, he helped me maneuver through across the brick sidewalk in my heels and opened the door to the car for me before sliding in himself. With his fingers running up and down my fabric covered arm I nearly forgot where we were going as his touch calmed me and soothed away my troubles.

“Are you nervous love?”

“Well Amanda has already promised to whisk you off as soon as we’re done posing for pictures. I hear that the popcorn they’re handing out is very delicious. Caramel is your favorite right?”

Shaking my head at my boyfriend I replied, “That’s just mean. Bringing your poor girlfriend with you and then tempting her to stuff her face with popcorn.”

“Well I had to tempt you somehow. I also may have had something to do with them having Cherry Coke as refreshments.”

“You are the best, terrible man I know.” I laughed, pressing my lips to his.

The rest of the ride to Leicester Square was spent sharing pictures and taking pictures together, the last one I managed to snap being of mine and Ben’s hand intertwined on top of his thigh. My nerves reappeared full force as the car came to a stop and I could already see the flashes of cameras and hear the shouts of fans. I tried to keep my eyes open as Ben helped me out of the car, my grip on his hand iron clad as we walked down the carpet, posing for pictures beside him and smiling as he gave interviews. When it was time for full cast photographs Amanda pulled me, unwillingly might I admit, into the theater where I managed to forget about my boyfriend for a few minutes in favor of stuffing my face with popcorn.

Amanda and I were already seated, myself with three small buckets of popcorn in my lap, when Martin and Ben returned. Reaching over for one of the buckets, I slapped Ben’s hand away crushing it to my chest like a selfish five year old.

“I don’t think so. I had to stand in line for this popcorn.”

“Darling, we both know that’s a lie. Can I just get one handful?”

“If I can get a kiss.”

“A kiss is something I will gladly relinquish.”

Pressing his lips to mine, I almost forget we were surrounded by people as his tongue slipped into my mouth making me want to drag my fingers through his hair. When we finally pulled apart from each other I handed over one of my buckets popping a kernel into Ben’s mouth before I went back to my own. After filling up on popcorn and Cherry Coke, Ben took my hand in his rubbing his thumb across my palm as we watched the film. When it finally came to an end and I was forced to leave with tears in my eyes I stood outside with Ben, patiently waiting as he signed autographs before we slipped into the car.

“I think you should have stayed gold. You were much prettier that way.”

“Between the two of us, I wish you would’ve stayed gold. You were much prettier.”

“I told Peter that but he opted to not listen.” He whispered in reply.

It took about thirty minutes for the car to pull up outside of Ben’s flat on the Heath and about thirty seconds for me to remember we were I had agreed to stay over with him. Having only been here once before, long enough for him to run in and retrieve his keys, I hadn’t really gotten to have a real good look around and something was telling me I wouldn’t have too much spare time on my hands tonight to do so. The massive amounts of bookshelves without a bare space in them just verified that he would rather have his nose deep in a book than sipping tea with the Queen or out with other celebrities. The dark colors present throughout the flat were enough to convey that this was indeed a bachelor pad but remained tasteful and weren’t overwhelming. Even though it was night outside, I could tell that during the day the place would be flooded with natural light with everything coming together to make the place feel like a true home. All of this I was able to take in while Ben changed out of his suit, having left me to do a bit of exploring on my own. Finally joining me on the patio, he wrapped his arms around my waist, letting his fingers dance across my rib cage.

“Even though I adore you in this dress, I think you’d be much more comfortable out of it. I left you some clothes on my bed to change into. Then I thought we could order dinner.”

Turning around, I pressed my lips to Ben’s in thanks, allowing our finger to linger together as I headed for his room. Quickly slipping out of my dress and hanging it up in his closet, I slipped into the button down he had left for me along with a pair of outrageously yellow socks he owned. Letting my hair down as I walked back into the sitting room, I found Ben on the phone, gathering he was talking to Martin as he paced in front of the couch where I took a seat.

“Yes Martin. No, she’s sitting here right in front of me. Not yet we’re not. How am I supposed to be shagging her when I’m talking to you? Yes, for the love of God. Okay. Bye.”

Tossing his phone onto one of the chairs, Ben got comfortable next to me, resting his head on my chest and allowing my fingers to lightly run through his locks.

“What did Martin have to say?”

“I don’t even want to repeat most of it. He just reminded me that if I knocked you up he would not be babysitting.”

I couldn’t help but laugh though my mind did wander off, concocting images of Ben holding a newborn baby and me finding him a nursery in the early hours of the morning, sitting in a rocking chair and lightly singing to our child. Shaking the thoughts from my head, my fingers drifted down Ben’s back, massaging out the knots I found and smiling at the breathy moans he let out. For the next fifteen or so minutes the two of us laid there, content with the silence, Ben’s fingers dancing across my bare thigh while mine continued to run up and down his back. I think both of us had nearly drifted off when the buzzer sounded from downstairs, signaling our takeaway had arrived.

Letting out a yawn as he stood up, I knew both of us were reluctant to leave our comfortable positions but hunger was slowly setting in. When he walked back in a few seconds later holding two bags that I instantly recognized as sushi, I jumped up, tossing a pillow down in front of the coffee table as my sleepiness was forgotten.

“You know the way straight to my heart and my stomach.”

“One day, I’m going to teach you how to use these.” I reminded Ben, referring to the fork he had opted for while I held a set of chopsticks in my hand.

“Good luck with that one, I’ve been trying to learn for a decade and have had no such luck.”

“Well you’ve never had the chopstick expert try to teach you. I’ll have you know, I grew up eating sushi.”

Ten minutes later Benedict had given up even using his fork and relegated himself to letting me feed him with my own chopsticks.

Glancing at all of the boxes on the table I couldn’t help but wonder, “Darling, did you order enough food or were you expecting guests?”

“I didn’t know what was good so I kind of just ordered one of everything.”

Soon the two of us started piles, dividing the food up into piles of what both of us liked, neither of us liked, and two of what we liked individually. Ben didn’t seem into anything that was raw or involved jalapenos but was a sucker for anything with shrimp and tempura. By the time most of our boxes were empty, mostly thanks to Benedict, he was splayed out on the couch regretting eating so much. I picked up our trash and placed the leftovers in his fridge before rejoining him.

“Now just because I feel like I’m entering a food coma don’t think I’ve forgotten about those sexy little knickers I know you’re wearing.” He whispered as I placed my head on his shoulder.

“I was beginning to think I was just going to have to throw them at you to get you to notice them.”

“Trust me Charlotte, I would have to be blind not to have noticed. And might I say I adore them very much.”

I couldn’t help but shiver as his fingers pushed up the hem of his shirt to get the full view of my bottoms, his tongue darting out over his lips as he did so. It didn’t take a second for Benedict to have me squirming below him, his body hovering above mine as he feasted on the sight before him. Just the sight of his hair falling into his lust filled eyes made my body tingle and I knew it was just a taste of what was to come. My breaths were heavy and labored, as if I had been running a marathon, as he slowly, one by one, undid the buttons of my shirt, pressing kisses to each sliver of skin as it was exposed. When he finally came to the hem he slowly peeled it back, looking down on me like I was the greatest gift he had ever been presented with and making me feel like I was the only thing that mattered to him at the moment.

“If this was the only sight I could gaze upon for the rest of my life I, my dear Charlotte, would die the happiest man in the world.”