Believe in This

The next three weeks went by much faster than I expected and would have liked. Since Maggie had moved up my campaign shoots for Simply Fresh and True Religion I had those to attend as well as one for Michael Kors. Between that, my regular dance classes, and painting the spare bedroom in my flat I wasn’t exactly mentally prepared for script readings for Sherlock to start.

I had received the script for the first episode of Season 4 just three days ago but had nearly memorized all of my lines. When Season 3 had ended the BBC had given the green light for the producers and writers to start working on a new season as soon as possible. All of this meant that pre-production was beginning just now in mid-September and actual filming was slated to begin in three weeks.

I was still having a hard time accepting the fact that I had landed a role on such a famous show but knowing that my actual role would be starting in less than a month caused a few minor panic attacks.

When Friday afternoon rolled around, the day of the first script read through, I was a nervous wreck. Matt texted me my entire trip on the Tube, doing his best to calm me down and reassure me that everything would work itself out. He promised if I made it through the script reading without having a nervous breakdown he would even pay for my ticket for The Book of Mormon, which we had plans to see the following night.

It wasn’t until I arrived at the studio that I realized I was nearly thirty minutes early. As I entered the room I spotted Benedict in front of the table lined with various foods and drinks, making himself a cup of tea. I was either louder than I thought or he sensed someone else’s presence in the room as he turned around and locked eyes with me.

“I’m usually terribly late for these sorts of things but Martin always steals the good food so I’ve been forcing myself to get here before he does.”

“Well according to everyone, you do have quite a reputation for being tardy.”

“In my defense, it’s usually due to traffic and the other times I’ve either forgotten or just lost track of time.”

“I think we’re all guilty of that from time to time. I’m only here because I was going stir crazy sitting in my flat and worrying over my lines. I might be the only person who’s ever learned all of their lines for a script reading.”

“You’ve memorized all of your lines already? Dear me, you’re making the star of the show look bad. I’m doing good to remember them when I’m actually on camera.”

“That’s how I usually am but I’ve just been so nervous I didn’t know what else to do.”

“I got over it and I’m sure you will too. Now I’m lucky to remember my lines when I’m actually on camera. Would you like some tea?” he asked holding up an empty cup.

“Yes please, two sugars and a dash of milk.” I replied as I went about filling a small plate with cheese, crackers, and fruit.

“Just how I take mine.” He commented as he handed me a steaming cup.

I thanked him before taking a seat at the tables set in the center of the room. I forced myself to eat the food I had placed on my plate as I had been too nervous to even consider eating earlier in the morning. I was known to go a long while without food but after so many hours I just became a raging monster with a side of delirium and a terrible headache.

With all of the seats spread out in a square across the room I had expected Benedict to take a chair halfway across the room so imagine my surprise when I looked up from Matt’s text to find him sitting right next to me. Not wanting to be rude I quickly sent a reply to Matt before placing my phone back in my purse.

“So how long do these things usually last?”

“It usually just depends on what Steven and Mark hope to get done. Since we’re starting a new season everyone will likely mingle for a bit to catch up before we all sit down. Then Steven will go over the schedule, when we’ll have our script readings, when rehearsals will begin, and when shooting will actually start. Either he or Mark will do a quick run over the script before we actually get to the reading. You don’t have anywhere to be do you? Because it usually takes us about four hours before we’re finished.”

“Oh no, I just wanted to have an idea of how long we’d be here. I haven’t done one of these in a few months. A lot of Pitch Perfect 2 isn’t scripted so we didn’t exactly sit down for a read through.”

“I have to say, I’ve heard good things about the first one but I haven’t taken the time to sit down and watch it.”

“You should, it’s actually really good and I’m not just saying that because I get to be in the sequel. Matt’s jealous he didn’t get to come visit me on the set.”

“Matt was whining to me about it the last time we saw each other. He talks about you quite a lot.”

“He does? I hope you’ve only heard the good bits because if not I might have to beat him up tomorrow.”

Benedict let out a laugh and don’t even get me started on what that did to my lady bits, before asking his own question.

“This may be a bit personal but are the two of you dating? It’s just he’s always going on about you and, not that I pick them up often, but I’ve seen pictures of the two of you in the papers.”

“Goodness no, he’s like a brother to me even though I exploit him for cuddles every now and then. We’re definitely not dating though. I know the papers would make you think otherwise. If we’re so much as seen in public together people thing we’re soon to be engaged or recently reconciled but all we have been for the past three years is really good friends. Besides my friend Grace, who I’ve known since primary school, Matt’s my go to guy.”

Benedict looked like he was ready to reply but was cut short when the sound of people entering the room met both of our ears. Cutting my attention away from him, I watched as Martin Freeman and Amanda Abbington entered the room, the two of them heading straight towards me and Benedict. Uncomfortable was an apt way to describe how I felt when their gazes landed on me, me sitting awkwardly in my seat and tapping my foot nervously.

Before I could react Amanda had wrapped her arms around me speaking excitedly at a tone that I’m sure people could hear from outside the room, “You must be Charlotte. Ben’s told us all about you in the past week. Can I just say you were absolutely darling in Dirty Dancing? I got this bugger to get up off the couch and take me to see a performance, something he didn’t regret when you came on stage.”

“You asked to go out for a date and I took you. I can’t help it that Charlotte here just happened to capture my attention.” He spoke causing me to blush profusely.

“Don’t let him embarrass you. He’ll deny it but I caught him wanking off to that picture of you in the brochure one night. It seems this old body just doesn’t cut it anymore.”

I had seen interviews with the two but never had I dreamed of them being as open as they were being with me. It had to be the first time that someone had told me their significant other had masturbated to my image. That coupled with the fact that she didn’t seem to care about it at all made me wonder just how one is supposed to respond to such an admission.

“I’m flattered?”

“So you should be. I have to beg for a shag from him but catch him rubbing one of to you no problem.” She replied, laughing the entire recollection off like to was nothing.

Shooting Amanda an incredulous look Martin scoffed out, “I will remember that statement when you try to sex me up at seven in the morning. I have never denied that such actions took place. Charlotte, you will always have a special place in my heart.”

Amanda sat down next to me while Martin and Benedict fell into conversation like the best friends they are. For having caught me so off guard earlier, Amanda was very easy to talk to and we easily fell into discussing the show as we both nibbled on our plates of snacks. The rest of the cast slowly filtered into the room, introducing themselves to me and saying their hellos to everyone else. As I met more and more of them I became more aware that I was sitting in a room with some very big names and the stars of perhaps the BBC’s most famous show.

“Between the two of us, Benedict seems to be quite infatuated with you Charlotte.” Amanda said, sparing a glance at Benedict who was engrossed in a conversation with Martin and Rupert.

“Benedict infatuated with me? I highly doubt that.”

Having been tossed about in the acting world and having to listen to directors, producers, and casting agents critique every aspect of me had caused me to develop quite the terrible habit of self-deprecation. Amanda’s attention turned away from me for a few moments giving me the chance to replay her words over in my head. In my own mind, I couldn’t even hold a candle to the women and actresses he interacted with on a daily basis. I didn’t even want to think of those that would willingly throw themselves at his feet. Besides all of that, there was the whole age difference between the two of us. I would be turning twenty-four on Halloween which sat Ben nearly thirteen years older than me; just ignore the fact that I had done an extensive Google search on him after my audition.

“Charlotte, are you alright?”

I looked up to see Benedict worriedly staring at me making me wonder just how distraught my face looked. “I’m fine, just got lost in my thoughts for a moment. I think everything’s finally sinking in for me.”

I could feel the tingles running up my arm as Benedict placed his hand over mine, causing my nerves to stand on end and making me feel like a school girl with her first crush.

“You’ll do perfectly. I’ve found it helps if you focus on the person or people you’re in dialogue with and block out everyone else in the room.”

“Don’t know how successful I’ll be at that but I’ll give it a try.”

Five hours later, a little longer than Benedict had predicted, we were one script reading down and everyone was beginning to file out of the room. In the beginning, I was on edge as my first few lines caused everyone occupying the room to turn their heads in my direction. Slowly though, I took Benedict’s advice and began singling out those I was interacting with becoming more confident with myself as we settled into a flow. I will admit, there had been an undeniable chemistry between Benedict and myself as we transformed into our characters and interacted.

Sliding my script into the folder I had placed it in, I slung my purse over my shoulder while debating with myself on grabbing dinner on my way home or whipping something up myself. It was a warm hand grasping my wrist that caused me to halt my walk to the exit, turning around to face the owner.

“A few of us are heading to The Chandos for dinner and drinks and we’d be delighted if you joined us.”

“It sounds better than going back to an empty flat. It’s near Charing Cross right?”

With a nod of affirmation Benedict responded, “Yeah, about two blocks over on Saint Martin’s Lane.”

“Well, I’ll just hop on the tube and meet you there.”

With a shake of his head and a smile, Benedict turned around and let Martin and Amanda know he would see them at the pub before pulling me out of the room and into the elevator.

“I hope you’re not kidnapping me? There’s a lot of plants at home that would miss my watering services if you are.”

“Unfortunately no but you’re mad if you think I would let you ride the tube by yourself when I’m more than capable of getting you there. I do hope you’re not afraid of bikes though.”

Shaking off Ben’s answer of ‘unfortunately no’ I told him I wasn’t in the slightest afraid of bikes, I actually got quite a thrill from riding and driving them.

“You’re in luck. I just so happen to have Joe’s helmet with me. He’s always begging me to take him around the block when I’m at Martin and Amanda’s. I think it’ll fit you though, I bought it a little bigger so he can grow into it.”

“Just promise not to attempt any crazy stunts. I made the unfortunate mistake of getting on a bike with Ryan and he was popping wheelies and jumping over everything. I might have squeezed the air out of him as tightly as I was wrapped around his waist.”

“Wheelies and jumping aren’t my forte but I do have a reputation for breaking the speed limit but not when I have small children with me.”

“I can deal with the going fast bit. I fancy myself a bit of a speed demon.”

Somehow I just knew that Benedict would never let any harm come to me which is a good thing because getting a look at his bike it looked like it could go rather fast. Grabbing Joe’s helmet, I missed the way in which his eyes raked over my face as he carefully fastened the strap though it was impossible to miss the care with which he placed an errant piece of hair behind me ear. As he slipped onto the bike while fastening his own helmet he promised me, “Just hold on tight and I promise we won’t crash.”

Slipping on behind him, I surreptitiously wrapped my arms around his waist. Even though two years had passed I could still feel the remains of all of the work he had done to bulk up for his role in Star Trek and the feel of his abs beneath my fingertips was definitely enough to cause me to squirm uncomfortably. As we sped across the city, my appreciation for riding on a motorcycle was renewed. There was just something about having the wind hit your face and molding your movements to the bike’s that was invigorating. It also doesn’t hurt to be holding onto one of the most attractive men you’ve ever seen in your life.

It wasn’t long before we arrived at The Chandos. There was some truth to Benedict’s admission of being a speed demon as we were the first to arrive. After holding the door open for me, like the gentleman he is, I stood patiently while he spoke to the manager, requesting two booths near the back of the pub. By the time we were seated most of the cast had arrived, splitting themselves amongst the two secluded booths. Sitting at the farthest table, I found myself squeezed into a Benedict and Louise Brealey sandwich.

“Hello, I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier. I’m Louise.”

“Charlotte, it’s nice to meet you.”

Leaning in closer to me Louise’s face took on a most serious expression, “So what is this I hear about you knowing Ryan Gosling and is there any chance of me getting a date with him?”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the love struck look on her face, thanking Ben as he handed me the pint I had ordered before answering Louise.

“He directed the last movie I was in, Lost River. All I have to say is those abs we all saw on Crazy, Stupid, Love were definitely not green screened. I was privy to seeing them up close and personal after throwing a bucket of water on him. As far as a date, he is still very much in love with Eva but should things ever turn sour I’ll put in a good word for you.”

Slack jawed Louise gasped, “You threw a bucket of water on Ryan Gosling.”

“He deserved it! He was the one who helped Matt dye all of my white clothes, including my favorite pair of white trousers, lime green while we were filming. And let’s not forget when the two of them put a live snake in my bed while I was sleeping. I love just about every creature that walks or slithers on this planet but I am not okay to one slithering up my leg unexpectedly while I am in the midst of dreaming.”

Louise laughed while Rupert, having heard my tale, turned towards us so he could hear the rest asking if they had really put a snake in my bed.

“They most certainly did! I tell you, the world almost lost one of its sexiest men and the Doctor. They got what they deserved though.”

Just as I went to continue the waiter appeared at our table to take our orders. Mark, Steven, Martin, Amanda, Benedict, myself, and Louise quickly told him what we desired before he moved on to the next table.

“So back to this story. How did you get your revenge Ms. Hughes.” Mark questioned as by now the entire table’s attention had fallen upon me.

Our conversation was cut short as a waiter appeared at our table to take our orders, flowing through everyone sitting at the table, Mark, Steven, Martin, Amanda, Benedict, myself, and Louise before we were left to ourselves once again.

“Well Matthew was the first to go. Needless to say, after a prank involving a tarantula situating itself upon his head and another in his dresser drawer he decided he wanted to join the good team. There are pictures on Twitter and Instagram as well as a Youtube video for anyone who’s interested in seeing the spectacle. I still can’t remember how we managed to pull it off but it took half of the production crew and cast to help us do so. Eva may or may not have slipped Ryan half of a sleeping pill in his afternoon coffee so as soon as he went in his trailer for a nap we had it lifted off the ground and placed a blow up pool beneath it. Then I had the pleasure of sounding a police siren from a megaphone and watching as he attempted to run out of his trailer but ended up falling straight down into ice cold water. He did commend me on my ingenuity though.”

Everyone glanced at me with admiration as Steven spoke, “Let’s all remember not to prank Charlotte unless we want something worse to happen to us.”

Though I usually would have basked in the attention I was happy as everyone dispersed into their own little conversations with each other meaning I was no longer the center of attention. Louise and I spent the entire meal getting to know each other and even made plans to go shopping together later in the week. We bonded over our love of television shows; especially Doctor Who and Sons of Anarchy. She had made me promise to introduce her to Matt when the chance arose before we fell into SOA talk.

“If I ever have the chance to meet Charlie Hunnam I will probably have a mild panic attack. The things I would do to that man even though I am quickly growing to hate Jackson Teller. Matt dragged me along with him to Comic Con this year and Karen and I actually ran into Theo Rossi. I’m surprised I even managed the words to speak to him. He was such a sweetheart and he actually knew who I was. It shocked the hell out of me.”

“Ugh, you get to meet all of the celebrities while I’m stuck with having this loser as a friend.” Louise complained, pointing at Benedict.

Letting out a scoff of shock Benedict finally opted to join into our conversation, “Excuse me for not being Charlie Hunnam or Ryan Gosling.”

Wrapping my arms around Benedict’s, I playfully cuddled up to him giving him the best puppy dog face I could manage. “Aw Benny, you know we love you. And between you and me, I’d take Sherlock over Jax and Noah but if you could build me a pretty mansion on the river that’d be nice, though I’d settle for you just buying me one.”

“Well I could probably read a manual or something.”

“There, now I have the perfect man in one package.”

The pub slowly emptied as the hour passed us by, everyone beginning to take care of their tabs while Louise and I took picture with one another. All of our best faces came into play: serious, playful, laughing, sexy, and cute until Ben decided to crash our last few.

“There’s no turning back now, you’ve involved yourself.”

Amanda grabbed my mobile out of my hands and took a picture as Louise and I pressed our lips to Ben’s cheeks. Somehow though, the tables were turned as Louise quickly ended up with my mobile.

“Now Sherlock and his new love interest have to get together so smile.”

We reverted back to being fourteen again and having just gotten our first camera as we posed together. There was one where we playfully glared at one another, one where I pretended to be polishing his cheekbones, and a few of us just smiling together. It was the last one that took me by surprise as Benedict wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his lips to my cheek.

Once we were done, Louise handed me my mobile back while Ben’s hands lingered on my waist a little longer than I expected, not that I was particularly bothered by it. Benedict had to steady me as I tripped getting out of the booth, my foot getting caught on the table leg. As we bid our goodbyes to the rest of the cast Ben’s hand still rested on the small of my back.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah, just let me take care of my bill.”

“No need to, I took care of it already.”

“I could have gotten it myself.”

“Nonsense, a gentleman never lets a lady pay for dinner, especially when he’s the one who invited her out.”

Benedict led me outside and to the back of the building where his bike was parked, handing me the leather jacket he had been wearing earlier.

“I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

“You’ll get cold though. After all, you have to drive back.”

Stepping behind me, Benedict held his coat open making it easy for me to slip my arms in as I sensed that he wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

“I’m naturally hot so the cool air will be welcomed.”

It seemed that after jumping onto the bike we were pulling up in front of my flat in no time, just as my phone changed to tell me it was midnight as a matter of fact. Staring confusedly at his bike, I got lost in my thoughts for a few seconds.

“Something wrong Charlotte?”

Turning around to face Benedict I couldn’t help but wonder aloud, “How’d you know where my flat is?”

“I convinced Mark to text me your address. How else was I supposed to send you flowers?”

A light bulb went off in my head as I remembered the flowers that were just beginning to wilt in my sitting room.

“Sorry, I’d forget my head if it wasn’t attached to my body. I can’t believe I forgot about my flowers, which now that you’re standing in front of me I can properly thank you for. There beginning to wilt and I’m afraid I might cry when it comes time to throw them out.”

“You are most welcome. My mum always told me it was proper to send beautiful flowers to a beautiful lady.”

In the last ten years I had had hundreds of people utter the words that Benedict just had but never had they had such an effect on me. I could feel the blush that stained my cheeks and I forced myself to stare at the pavement lest I get lost in his gaze. Regaining my composure after a few minutes I finally locked eyes with Ben.

“Well next time you see your mother tell her that she raised an exceptional son.”

“She’ll be pleased to hear that.”

“I had a really good time tonight. There all so sweet and welcoming. I’m actually looking forward to rehearsal.”

“Amanda and Louise absolutely adore you. I don’t think Amanda’s ever taken as quickly to anyone as she has you, not even Martin.”

“Best not repeat that to Martin.” I spoke, causing Ben to smile.

“I’ll talk to you later. If you need anything you can just text me.”

“I will. Thanks for everything.”

Feeling rather confident, I stood on my tip toes to press a kiss to Ben’s cheek before retrieving my keys from my bag and unlocking my flat. Peeking around the door as I closed it I sent him a smile suddenly regretting my actions as the door shut. Leaning up against it I let out a huge breath wondering how Benedict Cumberbatch could manage me to feel like a teenager all over again but also the most gorgeous woman in the world.