Maybe This Time

“Come on Jack, why the fuck are you still with him?!” Alex groaned.

“You know why,” Jack muttered.

“He treats you like shit!” Alex retorted.

“He’s not a bad guy, not really,” Jack protested.

And he wasn’t. Jack’s boyfriend, Zack Merrick, wasn’t a bad guy at all, not compared to some of Jack’s ex-boyfriends. Jack seemed to have a type he was always drawn to, ever since he was 16 and openly looking. Tall, strong, dominant, incredibly athletic, slightly-aggressive-but-not-totally, somewhat-arrogant-in-a-hot-way guys. And Zack Merrick fit that bill completely.

“The amount of times you’ve crashed here on this sofa, crying your eyes out because of how much of a dick he’s been to you, and you’re still defending him?” Alex scowled.

“He’s got a point, Jack. Zack is poison,” John frowned.

Well that just made his next words harder to say.

“Then I’ve got a serious problem,” Jack sighed.

“What?” Alex asked, confused.

“I’m pregnant,” Jack mumbled.

Alex’s breath hitched and John’s jaw dropped. Great. Just great.

“Well, fuck,” John managed to choke.

*

Jack’s life hadn’t always been this complicated. His parents were still happily married and he’d always gotten along with his siblings Joe and May, although they just seemed to be that little bit better than him at everything. They’d even had the white-picket-fence house and adorable family dog, and went to church every Sunday. His family had supported him when he came out as gay at 16 years old, and his mom and sister even went to the local gay pride rally with him that year. Sure, the whole safe gay sex talk had been super awkward, especially since his mom really had researched into just how easy it was for gay men to get pregnant, but the thought was there. They still loved him and that was what mattered. And Jack had graduated high school with good grades, getting into a good college and heading there with his best friend Alex with no cares in the world.

And everything had been perfect. Until Zack Merrick came into Jack’s life.

They’d met in Sophomore year of college, Zack in a couple of his classes. And it only took a few flirty words and less-than-innocent touches over a couple of months for Jack to fall head over heels for him, much to his best friend Alex’s dismay. Zack wasn’t exactly known for being the nicest of guys around campus, but Jack didn’t care. He loved Zack, and that was that.

Over the four years they’d been on-and-off together, Zack had fucked up. On more than one occasion. They’d broken up 3 times; twice because Zack had cheated and once because Zack had hit him. It was a drunken argument and only a half-hearted punch really, didn’t even cause any damage, but after Alex called the cops and had Zack arrested for assault, Jack had known it was time for a break. And each time, after 3 months apart at the most, they got back together.

Right now Jack and Zack were living together, in a fairly decent two bedroom apartment, and had been for most of the year since they’d graduated from college, excluding the arrest. Jack had his boring but decently-paying data entry job at a financial research firm, and Zack taught Economics at the local high school, as well as coaching the school’s basketball team in Fall and Winter, followed by coaching the lacrosse team in Spring and Summer. Their life wasn’t perfect, but it was theirs.

But their relationship was a vicious cycle. An ugly vicious cycle. Zack was incredibly possessive, hating anyone that remotely looked Jack’s way, had short tempers (although he’d never raised a hand to Jack after that one time), and drank a little too much when he went out with his friends. Jack didn’t like confrontation, got easily upset and hated being alone. It didn’t help that Jack’s best friend Alex despised Zack, and his long-term boyfriend John agreed. Part of Jack knew that Alex and John were right about Zack, were right about everything. But the bigger part of Jack didn’t care. Without Zack, he didn’t really know who he was anymore.

And now he had a combination of their genes cooking in his belly.

His dad was going to throw a shit fit.

“So the confirmation doctor’s appointment is booked for tomorrow, 8am sharp, so you might not even be late for work,” Alex said, tapping on his phone as he spoke, “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you for support?”

There was a reason Alex was a highly-paid PR Executive. He just knew how to handle difficult situations.

Every Wednesday, Alex and Jack met up for lunch at the diner round the corner from Jack’s workplace. Decent food at an affordable price, and it broke the working week up a little. That, and Jack needed his best friend more than ever right now.

“No, it’s okay. I’m probably going to end up raising this kid by myself if I keep it, so I might as well get used to it,” Jack said with a weak smile.

Alex looked up from his phone, frowning down at Jack.

“Whatever happens, however your douchebag boyfriend reacts when you eventually tell him, you’re not going to be alone. I’m going to be here for you, and so is John. As are Martin and Paul, whenever you tell them,” Alex said seriously.

Jack nodded, his smile getting even weaker. He wanted to tell Zack, he really did, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not yet.

Alex sighed, frowning even more.

“I’m sending John out tomorrow to buy you all the pregnancy shit you need too,” Alex added.

“John isn’t your bitch, Alex,” Jack pointed out.

“Well, he is, but that’s not the point,” Alex said, rolling his eyes, “His brother got knocked up at 18 – he knows what he needs to get,”

Oh. Well, that makes sense. Didn’t make Jack feel any better though.

“We’re going to get through this, Jack. I’ve got your back, always,” Alex said seriously.

Jack took a deep breath and nodded, the smile on his face a little less fake now. If Alex could remain so calm about this, then he could too right?

“That’s more like it. You’d better get back to work before your boss goes ape shit,” Alex mused.

“Jeff would never go ape-shit at me. I’m the only sane person in the office,” Jack muttered.

It was true. Jack’s job may only be to enter data into a computer all day at a financial research firm, but it paid decently and his co-workers (as insane as they may be) were nice people. And Jeff Maker, his boss, was a really nice guy.

“Suck up. I’ll call you later,” Alex laughed.

Jack smiled as the two of them walked out of the diner, Alex kissing his cheek before they went their separate ways. Contrary to popular opinion, especially from assholes in high school, Jack and Alex had never been together. They’d only ever kissed once, and that was when they were 15 years old, to help Jack realise his sexuality. Alex really wasn’t Jack’s type, far too finicky, but John was wrapped around his little finger which was just the way Alex liked it.

As soon as Jack was back in his office, he breathed a sigh of relief. No loud thumping music was playing. No-one had fallen asleep at their desks and had been duct-taped to their chair as punishment. No-one was playing mini golf down the aisle. It was peaceful.

Yes, Jack’s boss really was lenient, as long as everyone did their quota of work. Jack just hoped he’d be lenient about what would happen over the next 9 months.

“Wow, Jack, you’re practically glowing!”

W-What?

Jack’s eyes widened as his colleague Jenna bounded up to him, wide smile on her face. Her manic grin used to be much scarier when she had green hair. At least that was gone now.

“T-The food was good today. Half price burritos,” Jack managed to choke.

And that wasn’t even a complete lie. The burritos really were half-price today.

“Dang, now I want a burrito!” Jenna whined.

“You just ate an entire pizza, Jenna. You can’t possibly still be hungry,”

Jack’s colleague Alex-call-me-Grieco frowned at her, complete disbelief on his face. Jenna just shrugged, skipping back to her desk. Grieco rolled his eyes and went back to playing angry birds on his cellphone. Yeah, Jack really was the sanest person in his office.

“I still maintain that Jack is glowing,” Jenna grumbled.

Jack blushed. There was no way he was glowing yet. He didn’t even know how far along he was.

*

“H-Hi, I’ve got an appointment at 8am?” Jack said nervously.

The brunette nurse behind the desk smiled warmly at him, but it didn’t make him feel any less nervous. 23 years old and standing alone in an obstetrician’s office – not a good image.

“Name?”

“Jack Barakat,” Jack murmured.

“Ah yes, 8am with Dr Saporta. Take a seat and he’ll be right out with you,” she said sweetly.

Jack just nodded, shoving his shaking hands in his pockets as he sat down in the nearest plastic chair. There was only one other couple in the waiting room, and they were too wrapped up in each other to notice him. Good. He wanted to get and get out as quickly as possible, with as little fuss as possible.

Only five minutes later, Jack’s name was called and he was ushered into a room. Inside sat a tall dark haired man with caramel skin and a beaming pearly-white smile. Fuck. How could he be so cheerful? Jack’s life was practically over.

“You must be Jack! I’m Doctor Saporta, but you can call me Gabe,” the doctor grinned.

Jack just squeaked, making the doctor laugh.

“Or you can just call me Doctor Saporta. Now, am I correct in saying this is your first baby appointment?”

“I-I came in last week for the blood tests, and I’m here for the results,” Jack nodded.

“Excellent,” Dr Saporta smiled, flipping open the file in front of him, “well I’m pleased to say that you are indeed pregnant, around 4 weeks along,”

4 weeks. Wow. Not that far along then. It was a lucky shot that the pregnancy test had even picked it up! And 4 weeks along meant he’d be due around September, seeing that it was the beginning of February now.

“Now, you can continue your obstetrician appointments here with me or I can transfer your records to someone else, whatever you would prefer,” Dr Saporta said.

“U-Uh, I’d like to stay here, thanks,” Jack said nervously.

Zack would never look for him at this side of town.

“Lovely. Okay, so, being your first appointment, it’ll probably last a little longer than the following ones. You won’t be able to have a scan now, but you can definitely have the first one in around 4 weeks’ time…”

Jack just nodded. 4 weeks. He’d only that little time to accept that there was another living being inside of him. Wonderful.

“…and I’ll start with basic questions about the health history of your family, before testing your blood pressure, your heart and lungs, and then we’ll weigh you. Does all of that sound okay?” Dr Saporta asked cheerfully.

Jack just nodded, a little overwhelmed now. He should’ve brought Alex with him. There was no way he was equipped to process all this information.

Dr Saporta noticed the panic in his eyes and smiled.

“Everything is going to be okay, Jack. You know that, right?” Dr Saporta said supportively.

“Y-Yeah. Sure,” Jack said, smiling weakly.

~

“Alrighty, now we’ve got all that information logged, I’d say you’re good to go! Just quickly, I’d like to talk to you about what to expect in this first trimester,” Dr Saporta said.

Jack just nodded again. What was a little more information to process?

“I’m sure you’ve started noticing this already but during the first trimester your body undergoes many changes. Hormonal changes affect almost every organ system in your body. These changes can trigger symptoms even in the very first weeks of pregnancy. For women, their periods stop and their breasts get tender and swollen. Other changes that men feel too may include extreme tiredness, upset stomach with or without throwing up, also known as morning sickness, as well as cravings or distaste for certain foods. Now, pretty soon you’ll be getting mood swings and most likely a little weight gain or loss, and you’ll probably need to urinate more often,”

Jack nodded, not freaking out yet. He knew all this so far. He’d already started going to the bathroom at least once every half an hour. It was one of the reasons he’d taken the home pregnancy test in the first place. He’d been drinking a lot of water at work, saying that he was feeling dehydrated, as an excuse for leaving his desk so much.

“Also, as your body changes, you might need to make changes to your daily routine, such as going to bed earlier or eating frequent, small meals. Fortunately, most of these discomforts will go away as your pregnancy progresses. And some people might not feel any discomfort at all! Just as each person is different, so is each pregnancy. But if you feel anything really out of the ordinary, anything that by your gut instinct doesn’t feel right, then give me a call,”

Dr Saporta passed over a business card, which Jack took with a shaky hand. He could handle this. He could totally handle this.

“You’ll need to make an appointment for at least two weeks’ time with Victoria on the front desk. I’ll see you soon, Jack,”

“T-Thanks,” Jack mumbled.

Without another hesitation, Jack left the office, doing everything in his power not to cry. At least it was confirmed now. At least he had a reason to freak out. He was 4 weeks pregnant, his boyfriend was most probably going to leave him as soon as he found out, and he was going to gain a significant amount of weight any day now.

At least the morning sickness hadn’t kicked in yet.

Fuck.

What had he done to deserve this?

*

Two weeks after the appointment, and Jack still hadn’t told Zack. The first ultra-sound scan was in two weeks’ time too. He had tried to confess, really he had, but he’d either chickened out right at the last moment, or Zack had distracted him with his mouth. He had such a glorious mouth. Even Alex had told him that he needed to tell his boyfriend – and Alex didn’t even like him. Jack had only been able to hide it because Zack was so pre-occupied with the end of the high school basketball season he coached, as well as preparing for the start of the lacrosse season he would coach straight after. All the overlapping training worked out well for Jack really because Zack was so late home from work, but he hated lying to Zack. And Zack hated liars.

Valentine’s Day was a day that Jack both loved and loathed. He loved it because Zack spoiled him rotten and dedicated sex entirely to his pleasure. He loathed it because on their first Valentine’s together, he’d caught Zack cheating. But that was 4 years ago. And tonight so far had been perfect. Zack had cooked them a delicious steak each, with potatoes and vegetables, followed by Jack’s favourite lime cheesecake, all washed down with Jack’s favourite red wine (of which Jack had only had one small glass – he wasn’t stupid). Jack was happy. He was genuinely happy.

“I’m so full,” Jack groaned, hands over his stomach.

To be fair, his bloated belly may be slightly caused by the bun in his oven, but that wasn’t the point.

“Good,” Zack grinned, pressing a kiss to his lips.

Jack moaned softly as Zack’s tongue dipped into his mouth, but whined in protest as Zack pulled away.

“I’ve got to at least put the dishes in soak,” Zack mused.

Jack just pouted but nodded. That was a good enough reason, he supposed. Zack chuckled and pecked another kiss to his lips before taking their dishes to the kitchen. Jack leaned back in his chair, eyes closing slightly as he basked in the ambiance of the evening. Nothing could ruin tonight. Nothing.

In no time at all, Zack was back in the room, leaning over Jack’s chair to kiss his neck softly. Jack couldn’t stop the moan that slipped past his lips, blushing slightly at Zack’s laugh.

“Love the sounds you make, baby,”

Baby.

That hit home.

Zack didn’t notice Jack’s hesitation, hands sliding around Jack’s waist to his stomach. No! Not the stomach! He’d notice! So Jack quickly stood up, pressing his lips firmly to Zack’s to distract him, making his boyfriend groan.

“Fuck, Jack,” Zack breathed, breaking the kiss, “I need you,”

Jack blushed a little. Having Zack so turned on just because of him? That was a good sight.

“You know I’m yours,” Jack said, smiling shyly.

Zack grinned and picked Jack up with his hands firmly planted on his ass, making Jack squeal and hook his legs around his waist. Fuck. He knew Zack was strong, but sometimes it still surprised him. Zack wasted no time in carrying Jack down the corridor to their bedroom, kicking the door shut, immediately pressing his lips back to Jack’s.

Jack had never had a better lover than Zack. No-one had been so intense, so generous, so mind-blowing. Zack took his time to learn everything that made Jack tick, every weak spot on his body, and he never disappointed. When they were intimate, time stood still for Jack. It was one of the things that, in his mind, kept them together.

Before Jack had realised it, he was on his back with Zack between his legs, the both of them as naked as the day they were born. No. No, not good. Zack was sure to notice his slightly hardened stomach, the small slope that was starting to form, if they stayed in his position. No, Jack couldn’t have that right now. Zack frowned as Jack wriggled out from underneath him, but smirked slightly as Jack got onto his hands and knees, looking at him over his shoulder.

“Very unlike you, but I’m not complaining,” Zack mused, grabbing lube and a condom.

Jack blushed slightly. This wasn’t exactly his favourite position, but for now it would have to do. And they didn’t exactly need the condom anymore, but he couldn’t exactly say that, could he?

“Keep your hands on my hips. No straying,” Jack said firmly, as Zack lined himself up.

Zack raised an eyebrow at Jack’s demand, making him blush. Jack wasn’t a pushy bottom usually, but he needed to be tonight.

“Any particular reason why?” Zack asked.

“I-I feel bloated from dinner. I don’t want you to feel me when I feel like that,” Jack said, lying smoothly.

“I don’t care if you’ve got a food baby, you know that,” Zack soothed.

Food baby. Hah.

“Please?” Jack asked, eyes earnest.

Zack sighed but nodded. “If that’s what you want,”

Jack smiled and nodded, earning a smile back. He could get away with his secret for a little longer, he knew it.

*

“Hey, babe, while I think of it, I need to give you that 20 dollars I borrowed last week,” Zack called out from the kitchen.

“Don’t worry about it!” Jack called back, keeping his eyes trained on the TV.

Really. It wasn’t that much money.

“I already got it out the bank though!”

Jack smiled to himself. Zack may be an asshole, but at least he wasn’t an asshole about money, despite how they barely scraped by between their salaries sometimes. They made it work. It had been nearly two weeks since Valentine’s Day, another whole month into his pregnancy. And he’d still not confessed to Zack. And the first ultra-sound scan was in three days. Whoops.

“Just put it in my wallet then,” Jack called back.

He smiled a little more as he heard Zack grumbling under his breath, walking past Jack to go to his coat, where his wallet was. Zack was silent as he pulled it out, but it was the sharp inhalation of breath that made Jack’s smile drop slightly. What? What was wrong?

“Jack, come here,”

Jack’s eyes snapped open, frown deep on his lips now. That was a demand. A cold demand. What the fuck had he done now?

Nervously, Jack stood up, slowly walking over to Zack. His boyfriend looked livid. Fuck. He…He wasn’t going to hurt him, right? He couldn’t, not with the ba…oh shit, he still hadn’t told Zack. Zack could hurt him and their baby and not even know about it! Fuck!

“What wrong?” Jack asked as innocently as possible.

Innocently, because he didn’t have a clue what would’ve set Zack off this time.

“What is this?” Zack asked, holding something white in his hand.

“What?” Jack asked, confused.

“What the fuck is this?” Zack said angrily.

Jack flinched slightly as Zack slammed his hand against the wall next to Jack’s head, but felt his world freeze as Zack slapped Dr Saporta’s business card into his hand. Fuck. Did Zack know what an obstetrician was?

“I-I was going to tell you, I swear,” Jack mumbled.

“Tell me what? That you’re cheating on me with some rich fancy baby doctor…”

Oh. So Zack did know what an obstetrician was. And Jack would never cheat. Zack knew that too!

“…or you’re…you’re…”

Jack just whimpered.

That gave Zack his answer.

“Fuck. You’re pregnant? Are you pregnant? Is it mine?” Zack demanded.

“Of course it’s fucking yours,” Jack snapped.

Zack slammed his other hand against the wall, making Jack flinch again, effectively bracketing him in, faces impossibly close. Fuck. He hadn’t seen Zack so mad so upclose in a long time. Jack didn’t dare speak, choosing to watch the emotions scanning over Zack’s face.

“You’re pregnant. You’re going to have my baby. We’re having a baby,” Zack muttered.

“It doesn’t matter how many times you say it, it’s not going to disappear,” Jack mumbled.

Zack narrowed his eyes in warning. Jack just sighed.

“Are you keeping it?” Zack asked.

“I don’t know. I think so,”

Now it was Zack’s turn to sigh.

“Fuck,”

Damn it Zack.

“I get it, Zack. You’re not ready. I understand if you want to leave,” Jack said quietly.

He’d been expecting this. Zack wasn’t exactly known for reacting well to big news. But the anger that flashed across Zack’s face was not what he was expecting, especially as Zack stepped backwards with a glare. When Zack got angry that quickly, it meant trouble.

“You think I’m going to leave you?” Zack asked lowly.

Jack knew that tone of voice. He didn’t like it. It never led to good things.

“Maybe?” Jack offered.

“Fuck you, Jack. Is that what you really think of me? I know I’m not perfect but I’m not going to fucking abandon you! Fuck!” Zack shouted.

Zack slammed his hands against the wall again, hard enough to make the photo frames shake, hard enough to make Jack flinch and whimper. Fuck. Fuck.

“Z-Zack I’m sorry, I swear I was going to tell you! I’m sorry!” Jack spluttered.

Zack’s anger faded as soon as tears filled Jack’s eyes. He reached his hands towards Jack’s shoulders, but Jack flinched again, making Zack frown.

“You know I would never hurt you,” Zack murmured.

“Wouldn’t you?” Jack choked.

You’ve done it before.

Zack opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, unable to think of something to say, before stepping away from Jack, shoulders slumping slightly in defeat.

“I’m sorry,” Zack said softly.

Jack just nodded, looking down at his hands with watery eyes.

“How far along are you?” Zack asked.

Why was Zack asking if he didn’t care?

“8 weeks,” Jack mumbled.

Silence. Fucking silence. Jack hated silence. But he hated it even more when Zack sighed.

“Do you want me to leave?” Zack asked.

Jack shook his head. “Not if you want to stay,”

Zack sighed again, running his hand over his hair.

“I’ll sleep in the spare room,” Zack eventually said.

Jack swallowed heavily, desperate to force back the lump rising in his throat as he lifted his head. Zack didn’t want to share a bed with him. He wasn’t surprised. So why did that hurt so much?

“Okay,” Jack whispered.

Zack frowned again, hand cupping Jack’s face gently, before he left the room. It only took a couple of seconds for Jack to start crying, his hands covering his mouth to muffle his sobs. Zack hated it when he cried, even though he was usually the cause of it.

It took a while, but when Jack had calmed himself enough to stop sobbing, he walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. That always worked to calm himself down. Tears still trickled down his cheeks, but at least he wasn’t sobbing anymore. And at least his hands weren’t so shaky that he broke a glass. He didn’t want to set Zack off even more.

But when Jack headed towards their bedroom, he caught sight of Zack sitting in their living room, head in his hands, not moving. And that just broke Jack’s heart that little bit more.

*

“A-Alex?”

“What’s wrong, Jack? Why are you whispering?”

“I-I told Zack. About being pregnant. Well, he found the doctor’s business card,”

“What did that asshole do? Did he hurt you? I’m going to kill him I swe…”

“He didn’t hurt me!”

…

“He just got a bit angry,”

“For fuck’s sake, Jack, dump his worthless ass,”

“You know I can’t do that. Especially not now,”

“He doesn’t deserve to be in your baby’s life, not if he’s going to upset you like this. What happened?”

“He found the business card, alluded that I was either cheating or pregnant, he figured out pregnant and asked if it was his,”

“I hate him,”

“I know you do. I said of course it was his. He rambled for a bit before I said that he was welcome to leave if he wasn’t ready. Zack got angry but basically said that he wasn’t going to abandon me. But then he said he was going to sleep in the spare room. I don’t know what to do, Alex. What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”

“I really fucking hate him. You don’t deserve to be treated this way, not after all he’s put you through. He should be honoured that you’re carrying his child. Who the fuck does he think he is?! Sleeping in the spare room is the coward’s way out,”

“At least he didn’t kick me out the apartment, right?”

“Kick you out?! It’s your fucking apartment, Jack! Your name is on the lease, not his! If he had kicked you out, I would’ve sent Paul and Martin over to kick his ass!”

“Please don’t,”

“Jack, you need to get it in your head that you have done nothing wrong. He is the asshole, not you. I still don’t know how the fuck he managed to get a teaching job with his complete and utter lack of people skills. You are pregnant and he is damn lucky to have you in his life even just a little bit, never mind in this way. Stop thinking about him. Think about you,”

Jack sniffed but nodded. Alex was right. Alex was always right.

“T-Thanks, Lex,”

“Please don’t get upset, Jack. He isn’t worth it,”

“Will you come with me to the first scan appointment on Monday?”

“Of course I will! I’ll even drive you, okay?”

“Y-Yeah, okay. Thank you, so much. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,”

*

Jack stared down at the scan in his hand. There it was, his little foetus. Barely more than a blob on the screen, but still in existence. It should make him happy to look down on his child, but in all honesty it just made him miserable.

It was now a week after the appointment. Jack had barely seen Zack, even sleeping on Alex and John’s sofa last night, but he was now back in his apartment after work. Zack wasn’t home from pre-season lacrosse team coaching yet, so Jack was sitting in the kitchen, just thinking.

He’d been doing some research into what his choices were during his lunch break and had printed off some of the more feasible options – including abortion. Yes, abortion. Jack didn’t know if he could keep the baby without Zack wanting it too, so he had to be prepared. And that sounded heartless. It broke Jack’s heart to even contemplate getting rid of the baby, but if Zack didn’t want it then how would he deal with it? There were 4 local clinics that specialised in male abortions, and Jack now had information on them all. To be honest, the idea of getting rid of his baby scared the hell out of him, but he really didn’t think he could raise it by himself.

Did that make him a horrible person?

As much as Jack knew he could rely on Alex, and on John, and on his friends Martin and Paul whenever he told them, he just knew it wouldn’t be the same without Zack. And that just made him feel even worse about it all.

This should be a joyous part of his life, celebrating that a new existence was growing inside of him, but instead Jack felt even lonelier than ever. He didn’t know what the fuck he was meant to do.

But he did know that he didn’t want to face Zack right now, not when he was feeling so low. So with a sigh, Jack got up from the kitchen table and trudged down the corridor to his bedroom. No doubt Zack would get home and go straight to the spare room, not even attempting contact. Had he done something bad to deserve this?

With another heavy sigh, and an even heavier heart, Jack stripped down to his boxers, crawling into bed, resting one hand on the slight bump that was starting to form on his belly.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. But I just don’t know what to do with you,” Jack murmured, tears stinging his eyes.

He really didn’t know.

*

Jack was asleep when Zack came in to kiss his forehead goodnight.

*

Zack sat at work with a heavy heart, his mind barely focusing on the page in front of him. He was trying to go over his lesson plans for the morning in the staff room, but he couldn’t concentrate. Zack couldn’t get his head around what he’d seen last night, the whole damn situation in general, and it was driving him crazy. He’d barely slept for over a week now, even less when Jack hadn’t stayed in their apartment. He honestly didn’t think Jack knew how much this was affecting him. Zack was just as much involved in this as he was. He may not be carrying the baby, but it was still half his.

“Morning Merrick!”

Zack groaned softly under his breath. This was not what he needed. The one problem with working in this high school was that his two best friends worked here too. Rian Dawson, English Literature teacher, who started around the same time as Zack did, and Matt Flyzik, Mathematics teacher, who was only a couple of years older. The problem was that if they noticed something was wrong, Rian would ask concerned question after concerned question, and Matt would pry and pry, getting louder and louder, until Zack gave in.

Really not what he wanted right now.

“Dude, what’s got your panties in a wad?” Matt grinned, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Dude, how the fuck did you become a teacher?” Zack shot back.

Rian snickered, sitting down next to Zack, Matt sitting opposite.

“Seriously, you look like shit. What’s wrong?” Matt asked.

“Nothing,” Zack muttered.

Rian rolled his eyes. “Bullshit,”

Zack sighed. He really didn’t want this spreading around, but if he couldn’t talk to his best friends about this situation, who could he talk to?

“What’s happened with Jack?” Matt frowned.

“Why do you assume the problem is Jack?” Zack asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Because he’s the only person who has any effect whatsoever on your emotions, assface,” Matt smirked.

Matt had a point there. Jack really was the only person that could get any sort of reaction out of him – and this was one hell of a prompt.

“Jack’s pregnant. Over 2 months along now,” Zack muttered.

“Holy shit,” Matt groaned.

“I found out just over a week ago through the doctor’s business card – he didn’t even tell me himself. And we haven’t really spoken since. I’ve been sleeping in the spare room,” Zack said quietly, glancing around to make sure no-one else had heard.

They hadn’t. No-one was even looking their way.

“Jeez, Zack,” Rian said, eyes wide.

“That’s not the worst part,” Zack sighed.

“It gets worse?!” Rian spluttered.

“I went to the kitchen to grab a drink after I got home from pre-season practice with the lacrosse team last night,” Zack said softly, “Jack had left some papers on the kitchen table with abortion clinic details,”

“He wants an abortion?” Rian choked.

“I don’t know. He said he wasn’t sure he was going to keep the baby when I first found out he was pregnant, but he was already asleep when I came in last night so I couldn’t ask him. And it was obvious he’d cried himself to sleep,” Zack sighed.

“Do you want him to get an abortion?” Rian frowned.

“Of course I don’t, but it’s not my decision, is it? It’s Jack’s body!” Zack retorted.

“Why the fuck are you here then?” Rian said.

“What?” Zack frowned.

“You want this baby, right?” Rian prompted.

“Well, it’s Jack, so obviously,” Zack nodded.

There wasn’t anything in the world he wouldn’t do for Jack.

“Then why the fuck aren’t you telling him how much you’re supporting him?” Rian frowned.

“I…I don’t know,” Zack said quietly.

Zack really didn’t know anything right now.

“You’re an asshole,” Rian scoffed.

“I think that’s common knowledge,” Zack shrugged.

Rian rolled his eyes as Matt snickered. What? It was true? Everyone knew it, and Zack had accepted it a long time ago.

“You’re just giving Jack another reason to hate you, backing up his buddy Alex,” Rian said firmly.

Zack scowled at the mention of Alex’s name. He could never do anything right in the eyes of Jack’s best friend. That flamboyant twink had hated Zack since the moment they’d met. He didn’t even bother to hide it.

“I don’t even know if Jack wants me by his side,” Zack eventually said.

“Well, I don’t know Jack very well…” Matt started.

“That’s because you’re even more of an asshole than Zack,” Rian interrupted.

“Fuck off, Dawson. I don’t know Jack very well, but I know that every pregnant person wants and needs support, especially from the person they love. You may be an asshole and you probably said things that mean you don’t deserve to be with him, but Jack loves you. And you love him. So you need to tell him that,” Matt said seriously.

Zack looked at his friend, stunned. It was true when Rian said Matt was even more of an asshole than he was. And that took some doing. Seriously, Zack didn’t know how Matt kept his boyfriend Vinny from leaving him. So if Matt was saying that he should tell Jack how he felt, then he was right, right?

Fuck.

“I need to go to Jack,” Zack said firmly.

“Then go – we’ll make sure your lessons are covered,” Rian smiled.

Zack smiled back and nodded, grabbing his bag. His lessons could wait. Jack was more important right now.

*

“Leonardo was totally the best ninja turtle, followed by Donatello!” Grieco insisted.

“Hell no! Michelangelo all the way!” Jenna retorted.

“Leonardo was the leader and the oldest, and Donatello was the inventor and genius,” Grieco said.

“Boring! Michelangelo was the free spirit, the jokester! What do you think, Jack?” Jenna asked.

…

“Jack?”

“W-What?” Jack asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

He couldn’t get his head straight today. Not after crying himself to sleep last night, not after the thoughts of abortion playing on his mind. He still didn’t know what he was meant to do. He still didn’t know how the hell he was going to cope without Zack.

“Who is the best teenage mutant ninja turtle?” Jenna repeated.

“Uh, Raphael?” Jack offered.

“Ooh, you like a bad boy!” Jenna grinned.

Jack just smiled weakly. Yeah, he kinda did.

“Is everything okay, Jack?” Grieco frowned.

Jack sighed but nodded. He couldn’t tell them the truth, not yet.

“Yeah, just got a lot on my mind,” Jack nodded.

Jenna and Grieco smiled sympathetically at him, but it didn’t make him feel any better.

“Well we’re always here if you need to talk, okay?” Jenna said warmly.

And he knew they meant it.

“Thanks, guys,” Jack said softly.

They smiled at him before returning to their desks, Jack dropping his smile as soon as their backs were facing him. He was fucking miserable – what was the point in pretending when no-one else was watching?

Then Jack’s phone started ringing, making him flinch slightly before he frowned. He never got phone calls. And why would the Receptionist be calling him?

“Uh, Jack Barakat?” Jack answered.

“I have a Mr Merrick here to see you. Says it’s urgent,” she announced, sounding utterly displeased.

Huh. What had Zack said to piss her off?

“Mr Barakat?”

“Oh, um, send him up. Thanks,” Jack said.

Fuck. Zack was here. Why the fuck was Zack here?!

He wasn’t going to break up with Jack was he?

Fuck.

Well if he was, then he sure as hell wasn’t doing it in front of Jack’s co-workers. Without hesitating, Jack walked out of his office and into the hallway, closing the door behind him. He didn’t want Grieco, Jenna or the rest of his team seeing or hearing whatever Zack was here to do. He couldn’t bear that. He already had his best friends hating his baby-daddy, he didn’t want his colleagues to hate him too.

In no time at all, the elevator doors opened, and Zack walked out. He looked slightly surprised to see Jack standing there waiting, but carried on walking towards him anyway. Jack shoved his shaking hands in his pockets, not wanting Zack to see him weak. He had to be strong, just like Alex said. He wasn’t going to let Zack reduce him to tears again, not here.

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to see me,” Zack said softly, once he was standing in front of Jack.

“We have a daughter or son on the way, Zack. I couldn’t exactly say no,” Jack shrugged.

“Yes, you could. And you would’ve had full right to, after the way I reacted,” Zack frowned.

Wow. Zack really was going to apologise, with full sincerity. This was rare.

“Why are you here, Zack?” Jack asked.

“I saw the abortion pamphlets you left in the kitchen last night,” Zack confessed,

Oh shit.

“O-Oh,” Jack managed to say, not looking in Zack’s eyes.

“Hey, please look at me?” Zack asked softly.

Jack bit his bottom lip but did so. Zack looked so sad, so genuinely upset, and that broke Jack’s heart a little.

“I want us to raise this baby. Together. But if you don’t want to then it’s your decision. It’s your body and I respect that,” Zack said seriously.

Holy shit. Zack…Zack wanted the baby with him?

“Jack?” Zack prompted.

“Y-You really want me? And our baby?” Jack choked.

Zack smiled, nodding, making Jack’s eyes well up with tears.

“Yeah, I really do. I know money will be tight and will probably be an issue for a while, and we’ll have to figure out some way to tell our families without them freaking out and without your Dad killing me, but we’ll do it, Jack. Together,” Zack said, smiling a bit more.

“And you’ll move back into our room?” Jack added.

“If that’s where you want me,” Zack nodded.

Jack couldn’t think of anything else to do, other than to throw his arms around Zack and bury his face in the crook of his neck. As soon as Zack hugged him tightly back, Jack started crying, Zack rubbing his back as he started to shake. Everything was going to be alright. Everything was really going to be alright. Money and crazy-ass families aside, they could do it.

“We’re having a baby,” Zack murmured.

Jack just grinned against his skin, nodding. If anyone had asked Jack this morning how he thought his day was going to go, this was not the answer he would’ve given.

Fuck.

“Jack?”

Jack pulled away from Zack, turning around to see his boss Jeff standing there. Whoops.

“Is everything okay?” Jeff asked, frowning.

Jack sniffed and nodded, wiping his cheeks dry, which only made Jeff frown more.

“I promise, I’m okay. More than okay,” Jack insisted.

“What’s going on?” Jeff asked, folding his arms over his chest.

No, no, no, he couldn’t have Jeff disliking Zack too!

“You might as well tell,” Zack said softly, smiling.

Jack smiled up at him, nodding. Sure, he hadn’t envisioned telling his boss until absolutely necessary, but he might as well get it over and done with now, right? While no-one else was around?

“The thing is, Mr Maker, I’m pregnant. And we’re keeping it,” Jack announced, albeit a little nervously.

Jeff’s jaw dropped slightly, making panic flare through Jack’s body. Fuck! What if Jeff didn’t allow pregnancies in the work place?! Surely it was illegal to fire him because he’s pregnant, but…

Then Jeff smiled. Oh. That was a good thing, right?

“Congratulations! Oh this is wonderful news! How far along are you?” Jeff asked happily.

Oh thank fuck.

“Nearly 10 weeks,” Jack said, smiling a little more.

2 and a half months pregnant. Holy shit.

“Wow. That’s incredible! Again, congratulations to the both of you. I’m going to have to tell the executives, because I don’t know anything about pregnancy leave, but we can discuss that later?” Jeff said.

Jack just nodded. Pregnancy leave. He hadn’t even thought about that. Jeff smiled at him before heading into his office, leaving Jack and Zack alone again.

“Well he took that better than I was expecting,” Zack chuckled.

“Jeff’s amazing,” Jack sighed happily.

Zack frowned, making Jack roll his eyes. Really?

“I love you, asshole,” Jack chided, taking both Zack’s hands in his.

Zack’s frown slipped easily into a smile, making Jack’s stomach butterfly.

“I love you more,” Zack murmured.

Jack squealed slightly before pressing his lips to Zack’s, his boyfriend making a sound of surprise before kissing him back. This was perfect. Everything was perfect. How could it not be?

“We can have a proper talk when we get home, okay? I’d better get back to work,” Zack said, pulling away with a warm smile.

“Okay,” Jack nodded, a goofy smile on his lips.

Zack just laughed softly at his expression, but Jack didn’t care. He was happy! Zack wanted him and the baby! Why shouldn’t he show how happy he was? Zack cupped Jack’s face gently with his hand, pressing another quick kiss to Jack’s lips before walking away, waving over his shoulder before he disappeared into the elevator. Jack fought not to do a happy dance. Really, he did. But he was just so damn happy.

Zack wanted the baby.
Zack wanted him.
They were having a child together.

Holy shit.

*

It had only taken Jenna a week to overhear Jeff talking to the executives about Jack’s pregnancy leave, and a matter of hours for her to organise a baby shower in the office. Jack had immediately felt guilty for not telling them, but they’d understood. And he’d gotten some pretty cool stuff out of it too, including diapers, dozens of socks, soft toys and hats. Plus cake. Everybody loved cake, including Jack’s baby, if the kicking had been anything to go by.

But tonight he was out with Alex, John and their friends Martin and Paul. Martin was Jack’s friend from college, knowing Alex from college too, and Paul was his roommate. They tried to meet up at least once a month to catch up, all of them having busy schedules, but they’d missed last month. So obviously they didn’t know about the bun in Jack’s oven.

“Why aren’t you drinking Jack?” Martin asked, once they’d all sat down.

Jack blushed, taking a sip of his orange juice. Looks like they’d find out quicker than he thought. He’d forgotten how Martin never missed anything.

“Just because,” he said simply, earning an eye roll from Alex.

3…2…1…

“Oh my God. That asshole knocked you up!” Martin gasped.

Great. Just great.

“Why does everyone have to call him an asshole? He’s the father of my child!” Jack whined.

“He may be the father of your child, but he’s still an asshole,” Martin retorted.

“How long did it take him to talk to you properly about the baby after he found out?” Paul added, raising an eyebrow.

Jack bit his bottom lip. Uh, yeah, about that…

Martin and Paul looked at Alex’s unamused face and John’s sad smile, and frowned.

“You have talked about it, right?” Martin asked.

Jack nodded. “Yeah, we’ve talked. I was thinking about abortion and he told me he wants us to keep it,”

“You were thinking about abortion?” John spluttered.

Alex, Martin and Paul ignored him.

“And what do you want?” Alex frowned.

“I think I want to keep it,” Jack said.

“Damn it Jack, you can’t let him decide!” Alex scowled.

“I haven’t, I swear. Zack’s exact words were ‘ I want us to raise this baby. Together. But if you don’t want to then it’s your decision. It’s your body and I respect that’. And he meant it,” Jack whimpered.

This wasn’t fair. He needed their support, not their criticism! It must’ve been obvious how upset he was getting, because Martin, Paul and John smiled sadly at him, Alex just sighing.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay, Jack,” Martin said softly.

“If you trust him, and you’re happy, then that’s what matters,” Paul added, John nodding in agreement.

Alex just huffed as Jack smiled.

“Thanks guys,” Jack sighed, not looking at Alex.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt again, Jack,” Alex muttered.

“I know that. And I appreciate that. But you’ve got to trust that Zack truly wants this baby with me. He’s even organised that Matt will take over the pre-season lacrosse team training while the basketball season is finishing so he gets more time at home with me,” Jack said seriously.

That meant a lot to Jack, Zack giving up the second lot of coaching for now. Zack was so passionate about both Sports, having played both in high school himself as well as continuing basketball in college, and both the high school teams really looked up to him even though it was his first year coaching them, so for Zack to ask Matt to help him out really was a big deal.

Alex frowned but nodded. “The second he fucks up, which he will, then I’m going back to hating him,”

Holy shit. Was Alex really waving a white flag?

“You mean it? You’ll be nice?” Jack asked hopefully, his other friends looking surprised too.

“I’ll be civil,” Alex corrected.

Jack grinned. That was the best he was going to get.

“John, babe, I think I’m going to need another drink for agreeing to that,” Alex groaned.

John laughed, rolling his eyes, and pressed a kiss to Alex’s lips before heading to the bar.

“Fuck, Lex, he’s not your slave,” Martin snorted.

“I blew him in the bathroom while we were waiting for you two to get here, while Jack was at the bar, so he owes me,” Alex shrugged.

Oh wow.

“Oh my God, TMI dude,” Paul grimaced.

Alex just smirked, winking at John over at the bar, who blushed. And Jack thought his relationship was fucked up.

*

“But why not? Alexander is a good name! A strong name! A manly name!”

“Alex, you couldn’t be more flamboyant if you started wearing lycra 24/7 and did jazz hands at every opportunity,” Jack teased.

Zack snorted, John smirking, both of them earning a death glare from Alex.

“Fine, but I at least expect to be godfather,” Alex muttered.

“Duh,” Jack shrugged.

~

“Y’know, we need to think of baby names soon. Before Alex gets antsy,”

“We do not run on Alex Gaskarth’s schedule, Jack. How many times do I need to say this?” Zack scowled.

Jack swallowed heavily, eyes wide. He hadn’t expected that reaction, not in the slightest. Not when Zack had been so nice recently. Not when it was Zack’s birthday today.

“O-Okay,” Jack mumbled, looking away from him.

Zack sighed, hand smoothing over Jack’s bump to rest on top of it. They were lying in bed, Zack having cancelled lacrosse practice so he could come home to spend his birthday evening with Jack. This wasn’t how the evening was meant to go.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Zack said softly.

“No you’re not,” Jack muttered.

Zack sighed, especially as the baby kicked, as if reprimanding him.

“No, I’m not. Alex and I will never get along perfectly, and you know this. But I am sorry for upsetting you. I made a promise to stop being such a dick, and I meant it. I’m sorry,” Zack said seriously.

Jack looked up at him, searching his eyes for anything to doubt, but Zack was genuine.

“Thanks,” Jack said, nodding, resting his hand on top of Zack’s.

Zack smiled, pressing a kiss to Jack’s temple.

“What names do you like?” Zack asked, propping his head up with a hand.

“You really want to talk about it?” Jack frowned.

Really?

“Yeah, I do. You want it, and it’s important to you, so of course I want it,” Zack nodded.

Jack smiled. That was good enough for him.

“I kinda like the name Josie, for a girl,” Jack started.

“Hmm…that’s not bad actually. And I don’t know any Josie’s that I hate, so that’s good,”

Jack snorted, rolling his eyes. Of course that was his reasoning.

“What about you?” Jack prompted.

“I like Arabella. Or Amy. Amy’s my grandma’s name,” Zack said smiling.

Huh. He liked both of them too.

“I did like the name John, for a boy. But we can’t use that, obviously,” Jack mused.

“Mm, Alex would get way too jealous,” Zack smirked.

“No. We’re not using John,” Jack said firmly.

“Fine. How about James?” Zack suggested.

“James…James is good. Strong, manly name,” Jack smiled.

Zack smiled back, kissing his temple again.

“Any others?”

Jack bit his bottom lip, thinking hard. There was always one name he’d like, but he didn’t know if Zack would.

“Um…I like the name Aaron,” Jack said hesitantly.

“Aaron,” Zack repeated.

Just then, the baby kicked a couple of times, making Jack inhale sharply. Aaron. Looked like the baby liked it too.

“Aaron it is then,” Zack grinned.

*

The day that Jack stopped fitting into his favourite jeans was a sad day. He was only 5 months along now, it was only May, so he shouldn’t be so plump yet. It wasn’t fair! These were his best jeans and they made his ass look great!

Zack found him in their bedroom, flat on his back on the floor, struggling to zip them up while sobbing hysterically.

“Sweetheart, I think you need to let go,” Zack soothed, approaching like someone would approach a frightened animal.

“I’m so fat!” Jack whined.

“You’re not fat, Jack. You’re carrying our child – the extra weight is a good thing!” Zack insisted.

This only made Jack cry harder.

“Shit, I didn’t mean that,” Zack groaned.

“Yes you did! I’m fat! I’m ugly! You don’t want me anymore!” Jack wailed.

Zack pressed his lips together, kneeling down between Jack’s legs.

“You are beautiful. There is no-one else, just you,” Zack insisted.

“You’ve left me before,” Jack retorted.

Whoops. If Jack was in his right mind, he wouldn’t have said that. Probably.

“I was stupid back then. I didn’t realise what a good thing I had,” Zack said softly.

“I’m not a good thing, I’m a fat thing,” Jack whimpered.

“You are beautiful,” Zack repeated, eyes staring intensely.

Jack just frowned, tears sticky on his cheeks, confused until Zack’s hands tugged his jeans back down, leaving them at mid-thigh, hand reaching to palm Jack through his thin boxers.

“Y-You don’t need to,” Jack choked, eyes rolling back slightly.

What? Anything and everything turned him on right now, especially Zack.

“No, but I want to,” Zack smirked.

Zack tugged the boxers down, hand circling Jack’s base, squeezing enough to make Jack moan. Zack just smiled and ducked his down. Jack just moaned.

*

They spent the rest of that afternoon eating ice-cream on the sofa. If he was already gaining weight, why not add a little more?

*

Being 7 months pregnant sucked. Big time. Because he’d been so skinny before, Jack felt roughly the size of a house now, and it took him ages to get anywhere. Literally, anywhere. Not to mention how his ankles were always swollen and he’d had false labour contractions last week. That had really freaked him out, especially since it was way too early, especially since he was out for lunch with Martin and Paul, not with Zack. Zack had rushed to the hospital to meet him, leaving work early, and had looked so panicked, tears in his eyes and all, and Jack just fell in love with him all over again. Y’know, after the pain stopped. The doctor at the hospital had agreed with his obstetrician, Dr Saporta, and ordered Jack to go on pregnancy leave straight away. No more working. It kinda sucked, because Jenna and Grieco were still so excited about his pregnancy, but at least he got to rest now. And they’d already chosen and started to train the girl who was covering Jack’s pregnancy leave, a complete sweetheart called Tay Jardine, so at least there was some back-up.

A couple of weeks ago, a few days before Jack’s birthday, Zack and Jack had gone to Dr Saporta for the ultrasound scan that would tell them the gender of the baby. But when they’d got there, Jack had made a decision that shocked even himself. He didn’t want to know the gender of the baby. He wanted it to be a surprise. They’d already done the nursery in an ocean theme, with gender neutral blankets and toys, so that didn’t matter. And he’d bought clothes that would suit both boy and girl babies, so that didn’t matter. Why not leave everyone in suspense? Zack had agreed without hesitation, surprising Jack slightly. But then again, Zack had been such a gentleman lately, doing whatever Jack suggested, so why should Jack doubt him? He sure as hell wasn’t complaining.

Tonight was the last lacrosse game of the season, for Zack, and Jack knew just how important the night was for him, so he’d decided to surprise Zack by attending. That’s right, Jack was going to waddle along to Zack’s team’s lacrosse game. Well, Alex and John were driving him, John basically having to twist Alex’s arm to do so, but still. As soon as they’d parked up, John helped Jack out the car, Alex linking arms with him on his other side so the two of them could help him walk.

As they got closer and closer, Jack felt his nerves start to build up. What if Zack didn’t want him here? What if this was a big mistake? What if Zack got angry at him?

What if no-one at the school even knew he was gay?!

Fuck.

“Relax, Jack,” Alex murmured.

“Huh?” Jack asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

“Calm down. I can feel how tense you are. Zack’s going to be excited that you’re here, I promise,”

Jack blushed slightly, biting his bottom lip. Alex should not be able to read him that well.

“How could he not be excited to see you? It’s like, a total male pride thing that everyone’s going to see how pregnant you are with his kid,” John grinned.

Jack blushed a little more.

“Then why haven’t you knocked Alex up yet?” Jack retorted.

“Bitch please, I am not getting stretch marks on this body,” Alex snorted.

John rolled his eyes. “I’ll get you pregnant, Gaskarth, just you wait,”

Jack couldn’t help but giggle. At least he wasn’t the only one with issues. In no time at all, rather too quickly for Jack’s liking, they’d arrive to the stands, where the two teams were warming up. Jack inhaled sharply when he saw how many people were there. Fuck, this really was an important game. Then he spotted Zack, with Matt by his side. Matt noticed him first and grinned, nudging Zack. Zack turned his head, frowning, but then that frown spread into the biggest grin possible.

“Well I think that’s our cue,” Alex snorted.

Jack blushed slightly as he reached Zack, Zack’s grin not having reduced at all.

“Hey,” Jack said softly, ignoring the stares sent their way.

“I can’t believe…” Zack murmured, “Fuck it,”

Jack didn’t have a chance to ask what he meant, before Zack leant down and kissed him firmly, one hand cupping his face. Oh wow. Jack blushed slightly as he heard cheers sound up around them, Zack just smiling against his lips before breaking away.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Zack said happily.

“This is important to you, there’s no way I would miss this,” Jack said, smiling, “you’re not mad that I’m here?”

“How could I be mad that you’re here? I get to show everyone how beautifully pregnant you are. I get to show everyone what they’re missing out on,” Zack grinned.

Huh. Looks like John was right about the male pride thing. Interesting.

“Asshole,” Jack chided.

Zack just laughed, hands moving to rub Jack’s swollen stomach, making him blush again.

“I love you, Jack. Thank you for being here – I needed this,” Zack said seriously.

Oh wow. That was always nice to hear, especially from him.

“I love you too,” Jack said, heart skipping a beat, “Now go make sure your team wins,”

Zack grinned again, pressing one last kiss to his lips, before walking back over to Matt. Jack took a deep breath before turning to the stands, smiling as he saw Alex, John and Rian waving down at him, Alex rushing down the steps to help him walk up.

“Well, that was one hell of an entrance,” Rian teased.

Jack blushed again. Damn it Zack.

*

Zack’s team won that night, won the entire league. Jack hadn’t stopped smiling, especially when Zack declared him his good luck charm in front of everybody. How could his life get more perfect?

*

Three weeks before the baby was due, Jack was woken up by a sharp pain across his stomach, crying out loudly enough to wake Zack up too. Fuck, fuck that hurt.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Zack asked, eyes bleary.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. It’s like…”

Jack was cut off as the baby kicked. Hard.

“I think the baby’s coming. Like, now,” Jack whimpered.

“But it’s not due for another three weeks,” Zack frowned.

“It doesn’t seem to care!” Jack hissed.

“Alright, calm down. Remember the breathing exercises Dr Saporta taught you? This might be false contractions again,” Zack said.

But Jack shook his head. This felt different, he knew it.

“It’s not false labour, I swear!” he wailed.

“Alright, if you’re sure. Come on, I’ll help you up. Are you okay to go dressed as you are, or do you want more layers?”

It was the middle of August. He was already wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. That would be okay, right?

“Can you grab a hoodie and put it with the baby bag? Just in case?” Jack asked.

Zack just nodded, getting out of bed. Jack put all his energy into sitting upright, not noticing how Zack was on the phone as he pulled on his shoes and jacket, grabbing a hoodie and the baby bag, but he smiled as Zack hooked an arm around him to help him up.

“I would help you put shoes on but I don’t think there’s any point. I’ve just stuffed a pair in the baby bag,” Zack told him, sliding his phone in his pocket.

“That’s fine,” Jack nodded, “Is the doct-”

Another stab of pain flashed through Jack, making him double over, Zack barely able to keep him upright. Fuck. This was definitely contractions. Fuck!

“How long apart were they?” Zack asked.

“I don’t fucking know, I haven’t exactly been counting!” Jack retorted.

Zack rolled his eyes, looking at his watch before nodding. “Come on, let’s get you to the car. Dr Saporta’s going to meet us at the hospital, as are Alex and John,”

~

“Alright Jack, the drugs should have fully kicked in now, so all you need to do is relax, okay? You won’t feel the cuts at all,” Dr Saporta said.

Jack smiled weakly and nodded, Zack just squeezing his hand. This was it. He was about to have a caesarean operation. He was giving birth to their child. He was finally going to meet their baby.

“You’re doing so well, Jack. So good. Alex and John can’t wait to meet the baby, they’re just outside,” Zack said warmly.

Jack took a deep breath as he felt himself slip into a blissful state, Zack’s words washing over him like a blanket. This wasn’t so bad. Not so bad at all.

“Oh God,” Dr Saporta murmured.

What was wrong? How could anything be wrong?

“Jack?” Zack frowned.

Jack just smiled and closed his eyes.

“Jack!”

*

Jack felt like he was floating, swimming in an endless pool. He felt pretty good to be fair, like he had no worries in the world. Sure, he didn’t know how he’d got here, or what he was doing, but he did know he liked it.

What he didn’t like was this tugging sensation, like something was pulling him. And the more he acknowledged it, the strong the pull. It kept building and building and building…

…until Jack felt his entire body flinch.

“Jack? Jack, can you hear me?”

Zack?

Jack weakly forced his eyes open, blinking a few times until his vision cleared. He was…he was in a white room. Beeping. Beeping. He was in the hospital? Why was he…

Oh God.

“Z-Zack?” Jack rasped.

Jack heard a whimpering sound, turning his head with a wince to see Zack sitting beside him, tears in his eyes. Oh, he must be lying down. What happened? What had gone wrong?

“What happened?” Jack asked, his throat scratchy.

“You lost a lot of blood, Jack. A lot. And you passed out from the blood loss. You’ve been unconscious for over 8 hours,” Zack explained, eyes red and puffy.

8 hours. 8 whole hours. Fuck.

“A-And the baby?” Jack asked nervously.

Zack just leant forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Jack’s forehead, before he pressed a button above Jack’s head. What did that mean?! Why did he do that?!

Within seconds, a couple of nurses walked in, big smiles on their faces when they saw he was awake.

“Mr Merrick, we need to give Mr Barakat a check-up, so if you wouldn’t mind stepping out of the room?”

No! Zack couldn’t leave him!

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Zack said, smiling softly when he saw Jack’s expression.

Jack stayed silent as Zack left the room, not talking as the nurses took his blood pressure, listened to his heartbeat, shone a light in his eyes, checked the stitches on his stomach. Without Zack in the room, he felt empty. Without the baby in his belly, he felt empty. He hated it. He hated the feeling.

After what felt like an age, the nurses left, and Zack walked back into the room. But he wasn’t alone.

“Hey, Jack, would you like to meet our son?” Zack asked softly.

Their son. Holy shit. They had a son.

“Y-Yeah, I would,” Jack nodded, tears welling in his eyes.

Zack smiled and walked over to the side of the bed, carefully handing Jack the bundle in his arms, before pressing the button on the bed that helped him sit upright. Jack didn’t hold back the tears that streamed down his cheeks as he looked down on the tiny sleeping baby. His tiny sleeping baby. His son.

“What’s his name?” Jack asked.

“Aaron James,” Zack said, sitting down next to them on the bed, “As long as you’re still happy with those, of course,”

Jack just nodded, not taking his eyes off the baby. Those were Jack’s favourite names. Zack had chosen those names for him.

“It’s perfect,” Jack whispered, “He’s perfect,”

“You’re perfect,” Zack grinned.

Cheeseball. “Yeah, I know. But don’t expect any more kids any time soon. These stitches hurt like a bit…big thing,”

“A big thing?” Zack snorted, “Nice save,”

“Shut up,” Jack grumbled, blushing slightly.

Zack just laughed and pressed a kiss to his temple, Jack leaning into his body with a smile on his face. His relationship, his life, may not be perfect, but it was still his. And now he had his own family? Well, he wasn’t going to change that for anything.