Fake Smiles and Shaking Hands
I think you are wonderful
New school. Fun.
New classes. More fun.
New people to take the piss out of me. FUN.
I sigh as I sit down in the seat my English teacher assigned me, 'Hey.' the kid next to me says,
'Uh, hi.' I say awkwardly,
'I'm Zack.' he smiles,
'Jack.' I say softly,
'Nice to meet you, is that a blink shirt under there?' he asks, poking my zipped up hoodie,
'Uh, yeah.' I nod,
'Awesome bro. I love Blink. You should meet my best friends, you'd get on with them.' he grins and I smile awkwardly.
-
'Jack!' I hear someone call and turn to see Zack running up to me, 'Come meet my friends.' He smiles, grabbing my arm and pulling me out the school buildings and to the bike sheds, behind them, two people are standing, 'Ri, Lex, this is Jack, Jack, this is Rian and Alex.' Zack says happily, Rian looks friendly, but he also has an arm over Alex's shoulders protectively while the shorter boy looks at the floor, his fringe hanging over his eyes,
'Nice to meet you Jack.' Rian smiles,
'You too.' I say softly,
'Alex is kinda shy.' Zack informs me and I nod understandingly.
(later on)
Me and Zack clicked quite well. He gave me his number at the end of school and we've been texting since I got home,
From: Zack (17:39): Rian and Alex like you by the way x
To: Zack (17:40): they seem cool. Are the together? Rian seemed very protective x
From: Zack (17:41): haha no, they're not. Alex is just incredibly shy and Rian looks after him. He's very fatherly. Would it bother you of they were together? x
To: Zack (17:42): oh okay, fair enough. And no, of course not x
From: Zack (17:43): good because Rian is actually my boyfriend x
To: Zack (17:44): omg awh that's so cute ^.^ x
From: Zack (17:45): haha so what about you? Got a girlfiend(or boyfriend idk) x
To: Zack (17:46): no I don't have a boyfriend. Haven't for a while lol x
From: Zack (17:47): awh well I don't see why not. You pretty damn cute if you don't mind me saying ;) and from what I've seen you are incredibly nice x
To: Zack (17:48): thanks but clearly not haha x
From: Zack (17:49): never mind. You're young x
(a few days)
I smile when Zack rushes up to me after Maths,
'Finally! Ive been trying to find you before lunch for the past four days. Come eat with us outside.' he smiles and I nod, following him. I found out that behind the bike shed is their little hide out. I feel pretty damn honoured they let me hang out with them. From what I've been told, it's been just those three since year seven.
'Hey Jack. Hey babe.' Rian smiles and Zack sits down next to him and Rian kisses his cheek, I stand awkwardly and Alex pays the ground next to him, I smile softly and sit down, he doesn't say anything or even look up but it's a start.
Alex gets a pot out his bag and hands it to Rian,
'Fuck yeah, Isobel Gaskarth cookies.' he grins and I chuckle becauze no matter how hard these three try to be hardcore, they just can't. Rian takes a couple of cookies and hands it to Zack, who takes one and hands it back to Alex, who offers it to me,
'Uh, no thank you.' I say softy,
'Are you sure? My mums cookies are good.' he says quietly and I have to contain a giggle because DAMN HE SPOKE TO ME AND HIS VOICE IS ADORABLE.
'Honestly I'm fine, but thank you.' I smile and he looks up at me,
'Your loss.' he smirks. Wow. He's beautiful. Like, really fucking beautiful. I look over at zack and notice his confused expression,
"what?" I mouth and he just shakes his head.
(a few days later)
'Dude, did you forget your money again?' Rian sighs when He realises I'm not eating,
'Uh, yeah.' I mumble and Alex hands me half his sandwhich, 'no, no, I'm fine.' I chuckle, he leans in close,
'Please eat it. It's only been over a week Jack and I've noticed. I knew you wouldn't being money again so I worked it out for you, there's only 98 calories in a half. Please just eat it.' he whispers, his hot breath on my neck, I sigh and nod, taking the sandwhich.
Alex noticed. He's realised I have an eating disorder. Fuck.
Rian and Zack are looking at us oddly and I can feel my cheeks turn pink,
'What? Can I not talk to my friend?' Alex snaps,
'Lexy, you know that's not what we're concerned about.' Rian mutters and I look down awkwardly. I'm so confused.
(later on)
From: unknown number (21:37): hey, it's Alex. I pinched Zack's phone and go your number, hope that's okay x
I smile and saw Alex's number into my phone quickly before replying,
To: Alex (21:40): hi, that's fine. You could of just asked ;) x
From: Alex (21:41): haha yeah sure. Considering it took me nearly five hours to get the courage to even text you, I don't think I could of x
To: Alex (21:42): you are really quite adorable x
From: Alex (21:43): sure whatever. Can we talk? x
To: Alex (21:44): depends what about... x
From: Alex (21:45): you know what about jack x
To: Alex (21:46): I know x
From: Alex (21:47): how long have you been anorexic? x
To: Alex (21:48): I'm not some stick thin girl that thinks she's fat Alex x
From: Alex (21:49): anorexia isn't just for girls jack x
To: Alex (21:50): about 3 years x
From: Alex (21:51): fucking hell. Do you think you are fat? x
To: Alex (21:52): yes and no. I'm not perfect x
From: Alex (21:53): oh jack... Nobodies perfect x
To: Alex (21:54): yeah well I can damn well try x
From: Alex (21:55): do you think I'm a freak? x
To: Alex (21:56): of course not! Why would you even ask that? x
From: Alex (21:59): I have extreme generalised anxiety, OCD, post traumatic anxiety and severe social anxiety. That's why I act so weird. Why Rian is so protective. Im scared of EVERYTHING Jack. Do you think I don't know what it's like to not have this need to be perfect. I get that need everyday jack. But no one is perfect. But I can tell you now, you are beautiful Jack. You shouldnt have to starve to believe it xxx
To: Alex (22:01): wow. Thank you for telling me that. And just so you know, I think you are wonderful and not weird at all xxx
New classes. More fun.
New people to take the piss out of me. FUN.
I sigh as I sit down in the seat my English teacher assigned me, 'Hey.' the kid next to me says,
'Uh, hi.' I say awkwardly,
'I'm Zack.' he smiles,
'Jack.' I say softly,
'Nice to meet you, is that a blink shirt under there?' he asks, poking my zipped up hoodie,
'Uh, yeah.' I nod,
'Awesome bro. I love Blink. You should meet my best friends, you'd get on with them.' he grins and I smile awkwardly.
-
'Jack!' I hear someone call and turn to see Zack running up to me, 'Come meet my friends.' He smiles, grabbing my arm and pulling me out the school buildings and to the bike sheds, behind them, two people are standing, 'Ri, Lex, this is Jack, Jack, this is Rian and Alex.' Zack says happily, Rian looks friendly, but he also has an arm over Alex's shoulders protectively while the shorter boy looks at the floor, his fringe hanging over his eyes,
'Nice to meet you Jack.' Rian smiles,
'You too.' I say softly,
'Alex is kinda shy.' Zack informs me and I nod understandingly.
(later on)
Me and Zack clicked quite well. He gave me his number at the end of school and we've been texting since I got home,
From: Zack (17:39): Rian and Alex like you by the way x
To: Zack (17:40): they seem cool. Are the together? Rian seemed very protective x
From: Zack (17:41): haha no, they're not. Alex is just incredibly shy and Rian looks after him. He's very fatherly. Would it bother you of they were together? x
To: Zack (17:42): oh okay, fair enough. And no, of course not x
From: Zack (17:43): good because Rian is actually my boyfriend x
To: Zack (17:44): omg awh that's so cute ^.^ x
From: Zack (17:45): haha so what about you? Got a girlfiend(or boyfriend idk) x
To: Zack (17:46): no I don't have a boyfriend. Haven't for a while lol x
From: Zack (17:47): awh well I don't see why not. You pretty damn cute if you don't mind me saying ;) and from what I've seen you are incredibly nice x
To: Zack (17:48): thanks but clearly not haha x
From: Zack (17:49): never mind. You're young x
(a few days)
I smile when Zack rushes up to me after Maths,
'Finally! Ive been trying to find you before lunch for the past four days. Come eat with us outside.' he smiles and I nod, following him. I found out that behind the bike shed is their little hide out. I feel pretty damn honoured they let me hang out with them. From what I've been told, it's been just those three since year seven.
'Hey Jack. Hey babe.' Rian smiles and Zack sits down next to him and Rian kisses his cheek, I stand awkwardly and Alex pays the ground next to him, I smile softly and sit down, he doesn't say anything or even look up but it's a start.
Alex gets a pot out his bag and hands it to Rian,
'Fuck yeah, Isobel Gaskarth cookies.' he grins and I chuckle becauze no matter how hard these three try to be hardcore, they just can't. Rian takes a couple of cookies and hands it to Zack, who takes one and hands it back to Alex, who offers it to me,
'Uh, no thank you.' I say softy,
'Are you sure? My mums cookies are good.' he says quietly and I have to contain a giggle because DAMN HE SPOKE TO ME AND HIS VOICE IS ADORABLE.
'Honestly I'm fine, but thank you.' I smile and he looks up at me,
'Your loss.' he smirks. Wow. He's beautiful. Like, really fucking beautiful. I look over at zack and notice his confused expression,
"what?" I mouth and he just shakes his head.
(a few days later)
'Dude, did you forget your money again?' Rian sighs when He realises I'm not eating,
'Uh, yeah.' I mumble and Alex hands me half his sandwhich, 'no, no, I'm fine.' I chuckle, he leans in close,
'Please eat it. It's only been over a week Jack and I've noticed. I knew you wouldn't being money again so I worked it out for you, there's only 98 calories in a half. Please just eat it.' he whispers, his hot breath on my neck, I sigh and nod, taking the sandwhich.
Alex noticed. He's realised I have an eating disorder. Fuck.
Rian and Zack are looking at us oddly and I can feel my cheeks turn pink,
'What? Can I not talk to my friend?' Alex snaps,
'Lexy, you know that's not what we're concerned about.' Rian mutters and I look down awkwardly. I'm so confused.
(later on)
From: unknown number (21:37): hey, it's Alex. I pinched Zack's phone and go your number, hope that's okay x
I smile and saw Alex's number into my phone quickly before replying,
To: Alex (21:40): hi, that's fine. You could of just asked ;) x
From: Alex (21:41): haha yeah sure. Considering it took me nearly five hours to get the courage to even text you, I don't think I could of x
To: Alex (21:42): you are really quite adorable x
From: Alex (21:43): sure whatever. Can we talk? x
To: Alex (21:44): depends what about... x
From: Alex (21:45): you know what about jack x
To: Alex (21:46): I know x
From: Alex (21:47): how long have you been anorexic? x
To: Alex (21:48): I'm not some stick thin girl that thinks she's fat Alex x
From: Alex (21:49): anorexia isn't just for girls jack x
To: Alex (21:50): about 3 years x
From: Alex (21:51): fucking hell. Do you think you are fat? x
To: Alex (21:52): yes and no. I'm not perfect x
From: Alex (21:53): oh jack... Nobodies perfect x
To: Alex (21:54): yeah well I can damn well try x
From: Alex (21:55): do you think I'm a freak? x
To: Alex (21:56): of course not! Why would you even ask that? x
From: Alex (21:59): I have extreme generalised anxiety, OCD, post traumatic anxiety and severe social anxiety. That's why I act so weird. Why Rian is so protective. Im scared of EVERYTHING Jack. Do you think I don't know what it's like to not have this need to be perfect. I get that need everyday jack. But no one is perfect. But I can tell you now, you are beautiful Jack. You shouldnt have to starve to believe it xxx
To: Alex (22:01): wow. Thank you for telling me that. And just so you know, I think you are wonderful and not weird at all xxx