Fake Smiles and Shaking Hands
Poetry
(a few weeks later)
'Hey guys- Alex? What's going on?' I ask, seeing Alex curled up against Zack,
'He's coming down from a panic attack.' Zack says softly, I sit down with a sigh and Alex crawls over and curls into my side, I wrap my arms around him and glance at Rian, he doesn't look pissed at all, he's smiling, Zack chuckles and I raise an eyebrow,
"It's cute." Rian mouths and I roll my eyes and stroke Alex's hair,
'you alright Lex?' I whisper and he nods against my chest,
'Can I still come round yours tonight?' he asks quietly,
'Of course you can buddy.' I chuckle and Zack giggles, 'what?' I ask,
'Nothing.' He smirks and wraps his arms around Rian's waist and rests his head on his shoulder, Rian kisses his boyfriends and I smile at how cute they are.
(later on)
'How are you now?' I ask,
'Good. Um, Jacky, I need to talk to you.' Alex says softy and I look up at him from where I'm lying with my head on his lap,
'Whats up doll face?' I ask and he chuckles,
'Okay, so there's something I need to tell you, but because of my anxiety, Im shit with words. But I'm apparently very good with poetry and lyrics. So I wrote you this and hopefully it'll make you understand.' he says awkwardly, handing me a folded up bit of paper, I unfold it and start reading,
When I see a mother pushing her baby in a pram along the street, I think love.
When I see two friends laughing together, standing side by side, I think love.
When I see a man look at his wife as though she is the only person left on earth, I think love.
When I see a daughter clutch the hand of her dying mother, I think love.
When I see a man sat on a bench near his wife's grave, I think love.
When I see you, I think of nothing, I think of nothing but you. How you smile, how you laugh, how your eyes go wide if you say something you didn't mean. When I see you... I think love.
I sit up slowly, wiping the tears from my eyes, 'Alex... This is beautiful.' I whisper, he blushes and looks down, 'Lex, thank you, this is honestly the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.' I smile and he just shrugs, 'Alex, love, say something, look at me, you're the first person to ever make me cry happy tears.' I laugh and he looks up, I blink and more tears fall down my cheeks, he reaches up and wipes them away,
'Dont cry.' he whispers,
'Too bad.' I chuckle and scoop him into my arms and kiss his forward, 'you know what I think when I see you? I think "damn that boy is something. No matter the faults he has, he is incredible"... And I think love.' I whisper and he giggles, wrapping his arms around my neck,
'Can I keep this?' I ask, pulling away slowly and he nods, I smile and stand up, walking over to the other side of my room where my cork board is hanging on the wall, it contains gig tickets and photos of memories I want to keep, I move some stuff around and make a largish space before pinning the poem to the board, 'you see this big space lex? I want to fill that with us, our memories.' I tell him, and he raises an eyebrow, 'Alexander, will you be my boyfriend?' I ask, walking over, he nods, reaching up and wrapping his arms around my neck, I left him off the bed and his legs go around my waist and I hold him tightly.
(a few days later)
I sit next to Alex behind the bike sheds and put my arm over his shoulders,
'You told him then?' Zack smirks,
'Yeah.' Alex smiles, leaning against me,
'So is that why you were acting weird the other day? You knew?' I ask and Rian and Zack nod, smiling at us, I chuckle and kiss Alex's temple softly,
'Awh, you two are adorable.' Zack grins, I smile softly and look down to see Alex blushing.
(later on)
'Text me or call me later, yeah babe?' I whisper as I hug Alex tightly,
'Of course.' he says softly, pulling back and kissing my cheek, 'bye baby, bye Ri.' he smiles and rushes up the path into his house, he waves at us before opening his front door and dissappearing, I turn to Rian and he smiles,
'Come on Jack.' He chuckles,
'Rian?' I say softly as we start walking,
'Yeah?' he asks,
'Are you mad at me? Do you not like me being with Alex?' I ask and he sighs,
'Jack, I am not mad at you. I'm so happy that Alex has admitted his feelings for you, he means a hell of a lot to me and you have helped him a lot in this short space of time. So thank you. He needs someone like you... But, if you break his heart, I will break your neck.' He smirks and I chuckle,
'I won't, I promise.' I say softly,
'I trust you.' he smiles, slinging an arm over my shoulders.
(later on)
From: Alex (00:38): are you sleepy baby? xxx
To: Alex (00:39): no, why? Are you? xxx
From: Alex (00:40): your sending me one worded messages. Wait, is everything okay? You only ever give one word if youre tired or upset. And a little bit xxxx
To: Alex (00:41): I'm fine LexyLou. I just feel a bit iffy. If you're tired then go to sleep honey, I'll be here in the morning xxxxx
From: Alex (00:42): but what if you're not? xxxx
To: Alex (00:43): calm down babe, I will be. I promise you. Please, get some sleep xxxxxx
From: Alex (00:44): I'm not leaving you if you're upset babe xxxxx
To: Alex (00:45): okay, but if you get too tired, just go to sleep, okay? xxxx
From: Alex (00:46): okay. Now talk to me xxxxxx
To: Alex (00:47): my mum came home xxxx
From: Alex (00:48): I'm confused... Xxxxx
To: Alex (00:49): she's pissed and decided to remind me how useless I am xxxx
From: Alex (00:50): let me at her. You are not useless honey, please, don't think that xxxxxx
To: Alex (00:51): -sighs- xxxxx
From: Alex (00:52): jack don't know your middle name barakat, you are not useless. You are perfect, like I've said a million times xxxxx
To: Alex (00:54): Bassam xxx
From: Alex (00:55): what? Xxxx
To: Alex (00:56): my middle name is Bassam xxxx
From: Alex (00:58): oh! Awh, that's cute. Mines William xxxx
To: Alex (00:59): that's posh as fuck xxxx
From: Alex (01:01): ikr! Xxxx
To: Alex (01:03): you cheer me up so much xxxxx
From: Alex (01:04): I'm glad x can I come round tomorrow? Xxxxx
To: Alex (01:05): of course, stay for the weekend if you'd like xxxx
From: Alex (01:06): okay, I will :) xxxx
To: Alex (01:07): good... Alex, I love you xxxx
From: Alex (01:08): you better say that to me tomorrow. I love you too xxxx
To: Alex (01:09): I will. Get some sleep baby xxxxx
From: Alex (01:12): fiiiiine. Night babe xxxxxxxxx
To: Alew (01:13): night darling xxxx
'Hey guys- Alex? What's going on?' I ask, seeing Alex curled up against Zack,
'He's coming down from a panic attack.' Zack says softly, I sit down with a sigh and Alex crawls over and curls into my side, I wrap my arms around him and glance at Rian, he doesn't look pissed at all, he's smiling, Zack chuckles and I raise an eyebrow,
"It's cute." Rian mouths and I roll my eyes and stroke Alex's hair,
'you alright Lex?' I whisper and he nods against my chest,
'Can I still come round yours tonight?' he asks quietly,
'Of course you can buddy.' I chuckle and Zack giggles, 'what?' I ask,
'Nothing.' He smirks and wraps his arms around Rian's waist and rests his head on his shoulder, Rian kisses his boyfriends and I smile at how cute they are.
(later on)
'How are you now?' I ask,
'Good. Um, Jacky, I need to talk to you.' Alex says softy and I look up at him from where I'm lying with my head on his lap,
'Whats up doll face?' I ask and he chuckles,
'Okay, so there's something I need to tell you, but because of my anxiety, Im shit with words. But I'm apparently very good with poetry and lyrics. So I wrote you this and hopefully it'll make you understand.' he says awkwardly, handing me a folded up bit of paper, I unfold it and start reading,
When I see a mother pushing her baby in a pram along the street, I think love.
When I see two friends laughing together, standing side by side, I think love.
When I see a man look at his wife as though she is the only person left on earth, I think love.
When I see a daughter clutch the hand of her dying mother, I think love.
When I see a man sat on a bench near his wife's grave, I think love.
When I see you, I think of nothing, I think of nothing but you. How you smile, how you laugh, how your eyes go wide if you say something you didn't mean. When I see you... I think love.
I sit up slowly, wiping the tears from my eyes, 'Alex... This is beautiful.' I whisper, he blushes and looks down, 'Lex, thank you, this is honestly the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me.' I smile and he just shrugs, 'Alex, love, say something, look at me, you're the first person to ever make me cry happy tears.' I laugh and he looks up, I blink and more tears fall down my cheeks, he reaches up and wipes them away,
'Dont cry.' he whispers,
'Too bad.' I chuckle and scoop him into my arms and kiss his forward, 'you know what I think when I see you? I think "damn that boy is something. No matter the faults he has, he is incredible"... And I think love.' I whisper and he giggles, wrapping his arms around my neck,
'Can I keep this?' I ask, pulling away slowly and he nods, I smile and stand up, walking over to the other side of my room where my cork board is hanging on the wall, it contains gig tickets and photos of memories I want to keep, I move some stuff around and make a largish space before pinning the poem to the board, 'you see this big space lex? I want to fill that with us, our memories.' I tell him, and he raises an eyebrow, 'Alexander, will you be my boyfriend?' I ask, walking over, he nods, reaching up and wrapping his arms around my neck, I left him off the bed and his legs go around my waist and I hold him tightly.
(a few days later)
I sit next to Alex behind the bike sheds and put my arm over his shoulders,
'You told him then?' Zack smirks,
'Yeah.' Alex smiles, leaning against me,
'So is that why you were acting weird the other day? You knew?' I ask and Rian and Zack nod, smiling at us, I chuckle and kiss Alex's temple softly,
'Awh, you two are adorable.' Zack grins, I smile softly and look down to see Alex blushing.
(later on)
'Text me or call me later, yeah babe?' I whisper as I hug Alex tightly,
'Of course.' he says softly, pulling back and kissing my cheek, 'bye baby, bye Ri.' he smiles and rushes up the path into his house, he waves at us before opening his front door and dissappearing, I turn to Rian and he smiles,
'Come on Jack.' He chuckles,
'Rian?' I say softly as we start walking,
'Yeah?' he asks,
'Are you mad at me? Do you not like me being with Alex?' I ask and he sighs,
'Jack, I am not mad at you. I'm so happy that Alex has admitted his feelings for you, he means a hell of a lot to me and you have helped him a lot in this short space of time. So thank you. He needs someone like you... But, if you break his heart, I will break your neck.' He smirks and I chuckle,
'I won't, I promise.' I say softly,
'I trust you.' he smiles, slinging an arm over my shoulders.
(later on)
From: Alex (00:38): are you sleepy baby? xxx
To: Alex (00:39): no, why? Are you? xxx
From: Alex (00:40): your sending me one worded messages. Wait, is everything okay? You only ever give one word if youre tired or upset. And a little bit xxxx
To: Alex (00:41): I'm fine LexyLou. I just feel a bit iffy. If you're tired then go to sleep honey, I'll be here in the morning xxxxx
From: Alex (00:42): but what if you're not? xxxx
To: Alex (00:43): calm down babe, I will be. I promise you. Please, get some sleep xxxxxx
From: Alex (00:44): I'm not leaving you if you're upset babe xxxxx
To: Alex (00:45): okay, but if you get too tired, just go to sleep, okay? xxxx
From: Alex (00:46): okay. Now talk to me xxxxxx
To: Alex (00:47): my mum came home xxxx
From: Alex (00:48): I'm confused... Xxxxx
To: Alex (00:49): she's pissed and decided to remind me how useless I am xxxx
From: Alex (00:50): let me at her. You are not useless honey, please, don't think that xxxxxx
To: Alex (00:51): -sighs- xxxxx
From: Alex (00:52): jack don't know your middle name barakat, you are not useless. You are perfect, like I've said a million times xxxxx
To: Alex (00:54): Bassam xxx
From: Alex (00:55): what? Xxxx
To: Alex (00:56): my middle name is Bassam xxxx
From: Alex (00:58): oh! Awh, that's cute. Mines William xxxx
To: Alex (00:59): that's posh as fuck xxxx
From: Alex (01:01): ikr! Xxxx
To: Alex (01:03): you cheer me up so much xxxxx
From: Alex (01:04): I'm glad x can I come round tomorrow? Xxxxx
To: Alex (01:05): of course, stay for the weekend if you'd like xxxx
From: Alex (01:06): okay, I will :) xxxx
To: Alex (01:07): good... Alex, I love you xxxx
From: Alex (01:08): you better say that to me tomorrow. I love you too xxxx
To: Alex (01:09): I will. Get some sleep baby xxxxx
From: Alex (01:12): fiiiiine. Night babe xxxxxxxxx
To: Alew (01:13): night darling xxxx