Desinence

She looks so broken, exhausted and run-down but he doesn’t know why, doesn’t know why she’s saying the few words he never wanted to hear. As long as he could remember Anna was always there when he needed her, whether it was for a ride, a drink, or a quick fuck.

And now she’s looking at him with a quiet determination and sadness and it feels like his heart is being wrenched out.

“Was there something I did?”

She glances up from examining her knees, and the usual warmth in her brown eyes is gone, leaving a cold emptiness. Her skin is pale, the freckles dotted across her cheeks and nose standing out in stark contrast.

“No. You didn’t do anything.”

The words bite and slap at him, rip the truth out from deep down his soul. He did everything to her, bent her over backwards, stole what he needed and took advantage of her. But never did what she wanted and that’s the same as doing nothing.

He liked Anna well enough. He knew that she loved him but the knowledge had made him uncomfortable because he didn’t feel the same way back.

“Just go, Blake.”

“Anna baby, I want you,” he says desperately, hands grasping onto hers. And with a shock he realizes it’s true.

She tugs her hands away, folds them back around her knees and levels a cold stare at him.

“But I don’t want you.”

He stumbles back from the couch, shocked in a way he can’t explain or understand. There isn’t enough air in the room and he feels like he’s choking on something that could be tears. His feet know better than his head what to do and he leaves, feeling hollow and raw.

Because now he knows what love is. Because now that she doesn’t care anymore he finally does and it fucking hurts.