FoREVer

She let tears fall down her face as she argued with the love of her life. Riley never wanted things to get this bad. Brian never argued with her. There was no point because they loved each other so much, or so she thought. Nothing had been the same since Jimmy died, and Brian had spiraled out of control. She was worried, and she had good reason. She couldn’t lose someone else she loved again. She couldn’t and wouldn’t go through that again, so thus begins the arguing.

“Brian, can you please stop drinking so much? It’s starting to scare me. I know you miss him, we all do, but baby, please?” she pleaded, mascara streaking down her porcelain face.

“Riley, I don’t have a problem, so just leave it, and don’t fucking mention him.”

Riley sighed, and shook her head before she put on her shoes, and grabbed the car keys.

“Where ya going?” Brian mumbled, taking a swig of Jack Daniels.

“I’m going to Matt and Val’s for the night. I just….I can’t handle this right now.”

He followed her down the stairs, and out the front door.

“FINE! GO! But when you feel like coming back, don’t bother. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone!” he screamed.

It had started to rain, and that just mixed in with Riley’s tears, and soaking her clothes to the bone as she stood and watched Brian for a moment before turning and getting into her car.

It didn’t take her long to get to her best friend’s house. She knew they wouldn’t mind, but she was worried about Brian. He was breaking her heart in the process of him breaking down. She wanted to be the amazing girlfriend, and be there for him, but the hole Jimmy left in her was the worst thing imaginable. He was her older brother, the person she looked up to, and tried to be in every possible way. He was always there to guide her and cheer her up. It’s been six months, but she just couldn’t move forward, and it seems no one else could either.

Riley got out of her car, and the porch light turned on as soon as she stepped foot onto the steps. The door opened, and out came Matt.

“Riles? Baby girl, what are you doing here?” he asked, ushering her into the house.

“Brian is drinking again….and I don’t mean just a little. He’s been drunk for two days straight and arguing with me. I can’t take it. He’s so broken, and I’m broken. We just can’t help each other like we need to, and like I would like to help him. Matt, I love him, and I’m gonna lose him like I lost Jimmy.”
Matt stiffened at the mention of his name, but then relaxed when Riley touched his arm. Val came into the room, and realized how serious things were; she took Riley into a hug. Riley broke down into tears again.

“We have to help her and Brian. I don’t want to lose another best friend,” Matt said, rubbing Riley’s back.

Val nodded in agreement.

At that moment in time, it was decided between Matt and Val that they would help Brian get either into therapy or rehab. Riley went to bed, and the couple went to work on their plans. Maybe if Brian gets help, it will motivate the rest of the family to proceed into the next grieving phase.

The next morning, after having a shower, and cleaning herself up, Riley told Matt she’d see them later. Matt stopped her before she could leave.

“Riley, please stay here. We have a plan. We got Brian into rehab.”

Riley’s eyes went wide, “What? How did you manage that?”

Matt shrugged, “He finally agreed to it after some pleading with all of us.”

“Why wasn’t I included?”

“Riles, we thought it would be better, but we told him about how you were feeling.
He feels like shit, and he should. You two love each other, and I’ll be damned if I see you guys break up, and besides, I really don’t think Jimmy is happy with us right now.”

Riley sighed, “I know. He’d be smacking us upside the heads right now if he saw how we were acting. He’d be figuring out ways to fix us. God, I fucking miss my brother.”

Riley swallowed back tears as she watched Matt do the same.

“Me too, Riles, me too.”

Two months went by before Riley even saw Brian again. It was time for him leave the center, and he chose to stay an extra month all on his own. He knew that after he left, he’d be ready to start living again, and be better to Riley. He could be better to everyone.

Brian walked out the door, and saw Riley waiting for him, beautiful as ever, leaning against his car.

“Hey stranger,” she called, as he got up close to her.

He smiled, “Hey sweetie. How are you?”

She bit her lip, “Better now that I’m back in your arms.”

“Me too, baby.”

She opened the car door, “Let’s go home, yeah?”

“Yeah, I think we have some making up to do.”

She smiled, and nodded her head.

They got back home and immediately went to their bedroom. They got comfortable on the bed, and just laid there in each other’s arms for awhile before either of them spoke.

“I’m better now, Riles. I promise. I promise I will be a better boyfriend, a better best friend, and just better in general. None of this was your fault; I want you to know that, okay? I love you so much, and I was hurting everyone, not just myself. It was so selfish of me.”

Brian was crying at this point. Riley wiped the tears away, and then kissed his lips.

“I love you, too. It was your way of grieving. I mean, Leana basically ran off to a different state. Shit happens, and people grieve differently. I hated what you were doing, but I know why you were, but you’re better now. You’re my Brian again.”

“Yes, I’m your Brian again.” He sighed.

“What’s the matter babe?” Riley asked, cuddling in closer to him.

“I miss my other best friend. I know he would tell us were being fucking stupid if he were around, and I know he’s up there watching over us…..protecting us. I think that’s what got me through….knowing Jimmy is there, and knowing I have an amazing girlfriend waiting on me to get better.”

“I miss him, too, so much. I mean, he’s my older brother. The one I went to before any of you guys for advice. He was always the one to be stupid and have people look at him funny. The whole chasing the duck in the park? Fucking priceless, and totally Jimmy.”

“Of course.”

They spent that whole night reminiscing about their best friend, and brother.

The next few months passed in a blur, and soon the band was going on tour again. Mike was filling in for Jimmy, and Riley was tagging along on this one. The first few shows were hard for everyone. They were all feeling mixed emotions, but Riley was starting to feel at peace with Jimmy’s passing. She wasn’t blaming herself anymore, and she was starting actually be happy again. The band was starting to come to terms with everything, and soon, they were able to talk about him even more easily than before.

Riley stood back stage, watching her family play their hearts out on that stage for their crazy fans. They truly enjoyed what they did, and she knew Jimmy was in Heaven, watching and rocking out on those drums. She could just feel it in her heart. She knew everything would be okay, and that they would find their own way.