Supernatural Vortex of Doomy Doom. Wait, What?

When I woke up Dean was clinging to me. I pushed on his chest. "Get off you fatty." Dean grunted and rolled over. Sam was still sleeping. I was the only one awake. Except for the angel in trench coat who was intently staring at Sam's laptop. Who coincidently never seemed to have to sleep. "Cas what the hell are you doing?"

"It made a dinging noise. And now it won't say anything."

I shook my head and sat down in Cas' lap. "Probably because Sam got a message." Cas went rigid. "Cas you're fine." He relaxed slightly.

Sam seriously needs to put a password on this thing. I slammed down the lid. The message was from Sam's Number 1 Super Fan Becky. God I seriously hate her. She's so annoying. "Gross. Why is he still in contact with her?"

"Who?"

"His Number 1 Super Fan." Cas tilted his head to the side. I sighed. "Becky."

"I don't like her."

I smiled. "Me either. She's annoying."

"She petted me."

"Okay that's just weird Cas."

Cas turned red and looked way as I changed. "Must you do this now?"

"Well when am I supposed to change? I have to be monitored because Dean got me killed."

"He did what?"

"Yeah I think it was the second day I was here. Dean took me shopping. You carved the Enochian Sigils into my ribs. And when we got back I went to take a shower and stuff and I got killed by black smoke. I met Tessa." Cas fluttered away. "Oh you have got to be kidding me."

Dean grunted and tried to grab an invisible body that was no longer laying next to him. "Abbii?" He looked over at Sam's sleeping body. "Shit. Sam is going to kill me for this."

I stood behind Dean as he pulled on a shirt. "Did it never occur to you to check the bathroom?"

"Oh thank god. You're alive. Wait where's Cas?"

I shrugged. "He disappeared right before you woke up. And I had to brush my hair, thanks for asking."

Dean laughed. "Well if you're here now I could honestly care less what you were doing before."

"So I could have been getting raped and you wouldn't care?"

The look Dean shot me immediately made me shut up. He smiled and kissed my forehead. "Of course I care about you."

I rolled my eyes. That had absolutely nothing to do with my question. "So are we going to question this chick now or wait till Sam wakes up?"

"How about we surprise Sam and bring her here?"

"I like the way you think Winchester."

It wasn't hard to find the girl. She was more or less naked on the balcony drinking. Not surprisingly I got my hair pulled and a busted lip from the dumb slut. Let's just say the bitch can hit pretty damn hard. Finally Dean landed a blow on her that knocked her out. And thank god that everyone was either passed out, at the beach, or who knows where. There would be no witnesses to a man and a teenage girl dragging a unconscious female. Cause I'm telling you that would look really really awkward.

"Where the hell have you two been?!" Sam practically yelled at us the moment we opened the door.

"You know just kidnapping people." Sam bitchfaced me. "IT WAS DEAN'S IDEA!"

"Seriously Abbii? Blaming things on me?"

"You're the one who said we should do it." I pleaded at Dean with puppy eyes.

He sighed. "Look can we just tie up and devil trap this bitch?"

***

"What the hell is wrong with you people?"

I nudged Dean. "Hey guys wake up. She's awake now." Dean jolted upwards from my lap. Sam looked up from his book, which he was "reading". Translation. Sam was sleeping. I covered Dean's mouth before something stupid came out. "What's your name?"

"Kelly." She spat.

"Okay. My job's over. Boys have at her."

I laid down and closed my eyes. I was immediately greeted by sleep.

"Abbii. Abbii! ABBII! Wake the hell up."

I reluctantly opened my eyes. "Dean get your fat ass off me. You're really heavy. And fat. Did I mention that you're a fat ass already?"

He laughed. "That you did." Dean brushed the hair off my face. He bent down and kissed my nose.

"What about Sam?" I hissed.

"He went shopping and to dispose of Kelly."

"What happened?"

"We had to exorcise her. The demon killed her." He looked down. I wiped the tear that had started to fall.

"Sweetheart you have to stop blaming yourself for things that are out of your control." I kissed his cheek. "Come on let's go for a walk. I think we could both use some fresh air."

Before long we were lost in some abandoned part of town. And in typical me fashion I blamed Dean. Who in turn blamed me.

"It's your fault we got lost!"

"No it's not. You're the one who suggested a walk!"

"Don't try and blame this on me. I had nothing to do with this!"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Bullshit."

"Don't make me start screaming fire. You pedophile."

"I'm no-"

"Exactly. You are. I'm a minor and you're in your 30s. Pedophile."

Dean slammed my back into a wall. "Not for long. You'll turn 18 eventually. Besides age of consent is 16 in Ohio and Kansas. So techniquelly this is legal." Dean smashed his lips to mine. He hiked my leg up to his waist.

"And don't try and say that you don't like it. You kissed back."

"Fuck you." I spat.

Dean interlocked our fingers and started to pull my to the end of the sketchy alley that we currently were in. We walked in silence for awhile. By the time we neared the end I had calmed down enough to not smoother Dean later tonight.

"Come on sweetie. We've got to stay together for the kids." My fingers slipped out of Dean's as I walked away.

He stood there dumfounded for a moment. "What? We don't have any kids!" I heard his footsteps running after me. "Yet anyways."

"I have rather good hearing Mr. Winchester. And also I'm not rather found of children." Dean opened his mouth before shutting it. I smiled and pushed him into the alley wall. "Try and knock me up and you start loosing body parts that you enjoy. Starting with your favourite part." My hands slid down his chest to his waist.

"Okay I get the message." Dean threw his arms up in defeat.

"Good." I briefly placed my lips against his. "Let's go find the Moose."

He smiled. "Do you mean Sam?"

"I can't call him Sammy or anything so he's Moose."

Dean laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist. I growled. "I'll stop touching you before we get to Sam."

"Will you carry me?"

"What?"

"I want a piggy back ride."

Dean hiked me up onto his back and started walking back towards the town.