Radices

Totum paces back and forth with his hands behind his back. Tempus sits on Totum's bed, watching his brother.
“What is this most odd thing I implanted called 'emotions', Tempus?” Totum asks, pausing briefly before continuing his walk.
“Uh... hormones?” Tempus replies, eyebrow raised. Totum stops and looks at his brother, unsure how exactly to respond at first.
“Silence.” Totum commanded, waving Tempus away with his left hand, “...Regardless, to think that I, the almighty Totum Omnia, would fall for... a human.”
“You... You fell over a human?” Tempus asks, “And this is... a big deal how, exactly?”
“No.” Totum says, becoming irritated, “It's when you feel... strongly for someone. I heard someone on Terra using the term 'falling for them.'”
“Uhmm... Nope. Never felt that before.” Tempus says. Tempus looks up for a moment, lost in thought, then his eyes narrow.
“Wait a second!” Tempus yells, “Is this the reason you let me burn at the stake?!” Totum thinks back to when he spotted the woman who captured his heart. He remembers following her and having a small chat with her... then he remembers that he was supposed to help Tempus out of the burning stake.
“...I have no idea what you're talking about...” Totum lies, shrugging his shoulder casually. Tempus sighs and glares at Totum, clearly annoyed.
“What?” Totum asks Tempus. Tempus stares at Totum for a few moments before he speaks.
“Anyway,” Tempus says, changing the subject, “what does she look like? I couldn't see her through my melting eye sockets.”
“Well...” Totum begins, thinking of the woman, “she has brown hair, the most luscious I've seen.”
“Hmm... sounds boring.” Tempus sighs. “But you should totally tell her how you feel.”
“Absolutely not!” Totum booms, sounding slightly offended, “I am a God! That is so unbecoming of me!”
“Really, you say 'God', but all I'm hearing is 'cowardice'.” Tempus says.
“Excuse me?” Totum asks, appalled.
“You are one of two Gods and the other one doesn't judge.” Tempus explains, “You are a God. You can do whatever you want.” Once again, Totum finds himself speechless. He sighs and sits next to his brother.
“Tempus... how does a God live for a mortal?” Totum asks, his head hanging low.
“We'll cross that bridge when we get there.” Tempus says, rubbing Totums back in an attempt to comfort his brother, “For now, you need to talk to her.” Tempus smirks and leaps out of Totum's bed. Totum looks at his brother with great curiosity.
“Here.” Tempus says, pulling a short brown wig and a knee-high pink dress out of his pockets. “Pretend I'm her.” Tempus strips down to bare nothing and slides the dress over his head. He straightens out the dress and fixes the wig which is carefully placed upon his head. Looking around as though he's missing something, Tempus picks his jacket up and shakes it. A pair of pink sandal-like heels fall out of his pockets. Tempus kicks off his dress shoes, peels off his socks, and slips his feet into the tall heels. Tempus looks as his brother and smiles.
“Oh, hello, you hunky young man.” Tempus says in a bad, high-pitched, feminine voice, “Who might you be?” Totum blushes wildly and looks away, hiding his face.
“I think I've lost interest.” Totum quickly mutters. Tempus begins a terrible imitation of a woman crying.
“Oh, you're so mean!” Tempus fake cries, “I hate you! You're a terrible person!” Tempus runs out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.
“Good riddance...” Totum sighs, “But I suppose he's right... I should confront her!” Totum marches down his castle and to the portal, being sure to avoid areas Tempus could be.
“I'm going out!” Totum yells after pressing the purple button on the arch.
“Kay!” Tempus says, suddenly next to Totum “I'll be your...”-Tempus looks at a magazine from the future- “'Wingman'!”
“You'll do no such thing!” Totum huffs. Tempus shrugs and walks through the portal anyway, still in drag.
“I hate you.” Totum sneers, then follows Tempus onto Terra.
The brothers stand in medieval England once more. Totum's heart begins to flutter as he sees all the humans walking about. Will he run into her? Is she near him now? Things like that run through Totum's mind like a running horse.
“Okay, this should be the town...” Totum breathes, then turns to Tempus “I suggest you wear a disguise, Tempus, if what you told me was true.”
“I got it. I gotta blend in.” Tempus replies. Tempus covers himself in dirt and sprays himself with some awful odor. Totum stares at Tempus, slightly in disbelief, and Tempus asks “What? Oh!” Suddenly remembering what he should do, Tempus stuffs melons into his dress.
“Hey, you!” A man yells at Tempus as he exits the auction house.
“What? Uh-” Tempus asks, then clears his throat and speaks in his horrid female voice once more “What?”
“Thought you could get away?” The man laughs, then chains Tempus's hands “You're going to make a nice bride.” The blood drains from Tempus's face and his hands become sweaty.
“Come on,” The man orders “I gotta good deal for you!”
“To-” Tempus begins to yell in his male voice, then switches to his broken female voice “Totum!”
“Lets go!” The man commanded, dragging Tempus away. Tempus pulls a purse out of his melons and begins to hit the man with it.
“Go away!” Tempus yells in a high-pitched voice. “Stahp!” Hearing Tempus's struggle, to large bruisers exit the auction house. One looks at Tempus and smiles, relieving only one tooth. Tempus's heart begins to pound.
“All chained up for ya!” The auction house man says with a light tone, “Have fun, gents!” One bruiser gives the auction man money and the auction man hands Tempus to the bruisers.
“Did I say 'bride'?” The auction house man asks, chuckling to himself, “Well, it's something like that.” Tempus looks at the men holding his chains and yells “Son of a b-”
Totum stands in the middle of the town square looking for his beloved mistress.
“There are so many girls here... with short... brown hair...” Totum thinks, “Is this a fashion trend?!”
The woman Totum is looking for is walking around the square. Her mother is busy taking care of her siblings and her father is constantly working. Because of this, the woman is shopping for tonights supper. Some food happened to catch her eye, but she didn't have the time or money to get it. Instead, she stuck to the list her mother had given her.
“I hate this town already.” Totum mutters “I might pull what I did with the dinosaurs here when my mission is done.”
“I hate you.” Tempus fumes as he walks up to Totum.
“What the Infernus happened to you?!” Totum asks Tempus, who looks like a mess. Tempus glares at Totum, but does not say anything.
After buying her last item, the woman turns to leave and spots Totum. She stares at him, wondering if he is, in fact, the man she had chatted with not too long ago. She wonders who the ghastly woman is that Totum is talking to but pushes it from her mind. She knows it's none of her business who he talks to. After all, he's just some stranger.
“I have yet to find her.” Totum sighs, his forehead creasing.
“Okay, this might be a long shot, but is the one you're looking for that girl over there? You know, the one staring directly at us?” Tempus asks, motioning to the woman. The woman becomes flustered at the fact that the brothers had noticed her.
“Eh?” Totum asks, then looks in the direction Tempus motioned in “My word, you're right!” Totum's face flushes and he can feel the butterflies forming in his stomach. He made a mental note to wipe the world clean of butterflies. Totem looks at his brother and says “Look, if you really want to be my birdman, or whatever it is, please change and put some pants on.”
'Does that... person... have melons for breasts?' the woman thought as she stared at the brothers. She felt kind of creepy for staring at them for so long and looked at her feet. Her grip on her basket of supplies tightened and she tried to force herself to get the will to go home. For some reason, she just couldn't move. Could it be fate that her feet were glued to the floor or was she simply that curious about the man in armor? In her head, she was asking God why she was so drawn to this stranger.
“Time to be a wingman!” Tempus exclaims, pushing Totum into the woman.
Totum roughly falls onto the woman of his dreams. The two land onto the ground and puffs of dirt rise into the air upon impact. The woman's food supplies roll in different directions as they spill out of her basket.
“My potatoes!” The woman calls out.
“Sorry...” Totum apologizes, helping the woman up. He helps her pick up food by using his powers to force the foods to levitate into the air and go back into the basket. Amor looks at all the food quickly filling her basket. Her mouth hangs open in awe and Totum smirks.
“H-how did you do that?!” She asks, covering her mouth with her free hand.
“I have ways.” Totum smirks.
“I really suggest you not doing that in public.” She insists, nervously looking around.
“I'm not worried.” Totum says, “My name is Totum Omnia, by the way. Over there is my brother.” Totum motions to Tempus, who is eating his melon boob. Tempus looks over and waves at Totum and the woman, melon juice dripping down his chin. Totum sighs and the woman looks at him with a confused look.
“Did you say 'brother'?” The woman asks.
“Sadly.” Totum says. Tempus walks over to the two, his one melon jiggling in his dress.
“Leave, go.” Totum angrily whispers to Tempus once Tempus arrives.
“What's your name?” Tempus asks the woman, completely ignoring Totum.
“Oh, uh, it's Amor.” The woman says with a smile. Her name makes Totum's heart flutter. Totum pulls Amor aside and says “Amor, I'm here because I've 'fallen' for you...” His palms become sweaty, unsure of how she'll answer. Tempus sits down next to a goat and says “This is getting good” while loudly chewing on his melon boob. The goat bleats in response.
“You... what?!” Amor asks, turning bright red “Me?! Why me?! I'm hideous, I small awful, and that bloody goat agrees! There are much more attractive girls you could go after!” Amor turns around and starts pointing at the other girls in the square, listing off their names and greatest features.
“Hello?” Tempus says, stopping Amor's panicked list making, “Everyone smells here!”
“Why would I choose you?” Totum laughs “Why is the sky blue? Or the grass green? It's the natural way of things, and I choose you because I do.”
“The future smells better...” Tempus mumbles.
“You really mean that?” Amor asks Totum.
“Well... Yes.” Totum replies.
“This is getting boring.” Tempus says to the goat “C'mon, Charles.” Tempus leaves with the goat.
“I'm sure you'd like to get to know me first before making any life changing decisions.” Totum says “Would you mind spending the day with me?”
“That sounds lovely.” Amor says, blushing, “However, I must drop these items off at my house. Would you mind accompanying me?”
“It would be my pleasure.” Totum smiles.
As the two walk to Amor's house, Amor holds the basket of groceries in one hand and Totum's hand in the other. Although the two had just met, it feels as though they've known each other for an eternity.
“Mum?” Amor calls from her house door “I've brought everything you needed!”
“Thank goodness!” Amor's mother calls from inside the cruck house. Amor's mother waddles to the door, ready to take the basket. Although Amor looks almost exactly like her mother, her mother has a very large, pudgy belly which is filled with Amor's next sibling. Amor is the oldest child out of nine children. From oldest to youngest, the children are Amor, Duo (girl), Tres (boy), Quattuor (girl), Quinque (girl), Sex (girl), Septem (boy), Octo (girl), and Novem (boy). Quite honestly, Amor's mom's uterus should have fallen out by now due to all these fucking kids, yet she's still pregnant.
“Oh!” Amor's mom says after spotting Totum “Who's this?”
“Greetings!” Totum says, pretending he's not nervous, “My name is Totum.”
“Totum? What an odd name. Where are you from?” Amor's mom asks.
“I hail from a land most holy. I come from the Home of God.” Totum says honestly.
“Did the nuns raise you?” Amor's mom asks, pity visible on her face, “Poor dear. It looks like you've made a proper man of yourself, though.”
“Mum, would you mind if Totum and I went out for a bit?” Amor asks.
“Not at all!” Amor's mom says with a warm smile “Would you two like to come in for some tea first?”
“...Tea?” Totum asks. Amor looks at Totum as if he has three heads.
“You've never heard of tea?” Amor asks. Totum shakes his head and Amor says “You must try it!”
“I'd love a cup.” Totum smiles.
“Great, follow me inside!” Amor's mom says. Amor and Totum follows Amor's mom into the cruck house. The house has one bedroom, which all of the kids share, and one other room which is a mix of the kitchen, dining room, parents bedroom, washroom, oh you get it. The point is this is a very small fucking house, especially for ten, almost eleven, people to live in. She leads them to the hearth which already has some water boiling. She lets the children do whatever while she grabs the tea leaves and cups so she may fix them, well, tea.
'How do people live like this?' Totum thinks. Amor's siblings quickly gather around Totum, enjoying the company of a stranger.
“Hey, mister, why are you wearing armor?” Duo asks.
“Is it made of dragon teeth?” Quattuor asks.
“I want to be a knight when I grow up!” Tres says.
“I will be the bravest warrior!” Quinque says. Tres and Quinque pick up a couple of sticks and begin having a swordfight.
“Alright, that's enough questions!” Amor says sweetly with a forced smile. “Into the bedroom, all of you! Or I'll get the irritated goat on all of you!” Amor forces all eight of her siblings into the bedroom which they all share.
“Thank you for that...” Totum laughs.
“Sorry about that. You know how kids are.” Amor's mother apologizes. Amor's mother pours hot water into the cups which already contain the leaves.
“So which church were you raised in?” Amor's mother asks.
“Caelum House of God.” Totum says, not totally lying.
“I've never heard of that one. I hope the priests and nuns were good to you. It's a shame how corrupt the churches have become lately.” Amor's mother sighs, giving the two their cups of tea.
“Yes, they were...” Totum says. He slowly becomes sad. Churches... corrupt? Amor's mother notices the sadness increasing on Totum's face and places a hand on his back.
“Oh, don't worry, dear.” She says “God knows who is good and who is not. We'll all be fine in the end. Do you like your tea?”
“Yes.” Totum smiles. The children spill out of the bedroom and begin to surround Totum once more.
“Can I play with your sword?” Septem asks.
“You dolt, he doesn't have a sword!” Novem yells at Septem.
“Do you have a sword?” Tres asks.
“You have pretty hair!” Quinque says.
“I made you a flower crown!” Octo says, giving Totum a flower crown.
“Why don't you have a sword?” Quattuor asks.
“Why are you wearing a cape?” Duo asks.
“Hey! What did I say! You want that goat to chase you down, don't you?” Amor huffs. The children all become angry and riot. They begin to yell things like “No fair!” “How come you get to keep him to yourself!” “I wanna play!” and “The room is no fun!” Totum acts overwhelmed when, in reality, he payed the children no mind.
“Go play outside then!” Amor's mother screeched. She went from such a nice woman to what appeared to be a church demon. The children winced at their mother's transformation and didn't bother to argue. They went outside to play.
“...Thank you again...” Totum says.
“Honestly...” Amor's mother sighs, transforming back into the pleasant woman she was, “... I have laundry to do, though. The children always manage to mess up their church clothes and I have to wash them before Sunday comes.”
“Oh, okay!” Amor says, “If we're gone by the time you're done, we went into the town square.”
“Have fun!” Amor's mother says, then leaves. Amor and Totum sit in an awkward silence for a bit, sipping on their leaf water.
“So... Where to?” Totum asks, breaking the silence.
“How about a walk in town?” Amor asks.
“Sounds great!” Totum says.
The two walk around the town square, gazing at all the marvelous goods. Totum and Amor stop at a jeweler's and look at all the fine neckwear. There's one necklace that Amor has wanted for quite some time. It's a shame that no one has been able to afford it. It was a string of pearls and nestled on it, encased in a ring of red rubies, was a beautiful stone of light blue celestite.
“How much is this necklace?” Totum asks the salesman, noticing Amor eyeing the piece of jewelry.
“It's a thousand pounds.” The man grunts. Now, in modern times that's already a lot for a necklace. This is medieval times, people. Totum reaches into his pocket and forges a thousand pounds. He pulls the money out of his pocket and hands it to the salesman who greedily counts it.
“I was just looking at it!” Amor says nervously.
“I can tell from a simple look how much you longed to have it. Please, enjoy this gift.” Totum smiles, picking up the necklace.
“Th-thank you!” Amor stuttered. Totum moved her hair to the side and tied the necklace around her neck, the pendant resting between her breasts.
“No worries.” Totum smiles “Is there anything else you would like?”
“No... That's really the only thing I've been eyeing.” Amor says, looking down her neck to stare at the amulet.
“And now it's yours.” Totum says.
“Thank you!” Amor beams. They stand in awkward silence, not knowing how else to interact.
“Perhaps you'd like to see... where I'm from?” Totum asks, breaking the silence.
“I'd love to!” Amor says “How far away could your church be?”
“A dimension away.” Totum says, giving a soft laugh to give off the appearance that he's joking. Amor laughs in response.
“It shouldn't be that far away.” Amor laughs. Totum takes Amor's hand and leads her to the portal.
“Don't be alarmed by what you're about to see.” Totum says to Amor. She gives Totum a confused look. Not only are they no where near a church, but they're no where in general. Humans can't see the arch unless a God or Goddess allows the human to see upon activation. Totum presses the blue button and orange swirls fill the giant arch. Amor takes a step back, suddenly being able to see the portal. Totum, sensing her uneasiness, extends his hand to Amor. She hesitates, but takes his hand regardless.
Once through the portal, Amor holds her breath as she begins to take in the gorgeous view. She clings to Totum's arm, being slightly frightened about standing on a floating rock.
“Where are we?” Amor breathes.
“My home, Caelum.” Totum says.
“...Cae...lum?” Amor asks.
“It is what you humans call 'Heaven'.”
“This is Heaven?”
“Yes and no. There are three dimensions. There's Caelum: Home of the Gods, Terra: Home of the Mortals, and Infernus: Home of the Spirits. In reality, there are multiple gods, Hell is just a storage place for souls until they reincarnate, there is no torturing any souls, and souls don't go to Heaven.” Totum explains.
“...Caelum is Heaven, Terra is Earth, and Infernus is a non-evil Hell...” Amor mumbles “...But wouldn't that make you...?”
“A God.” Totum finishes for her “I am the God of Creation. I created Terra, uh, Earth as you know it. I created the two dimensions, Caelum and Infernus. I've been alive since before Terra was a thing.”
“You're the literal definition of 'older than dirt'...” Amor says, then instantly feeling bad as soon as she sees Totum frown.
“Amor, I do not interfere with matters on Terra...” Totum begins.
“...But?” Amor asks.
“...But I may make an exception this one time... Forgive me for being rash or blunt, but... I want you to live here... With me...” Totum says, madly blushing. He keeps his gaze away from Amor.
“...Really?” Amor asks.
“Yes... I would relieve you of your mortality and turn you into a Goddess. However... You would have to leave your friends and family behind.” Totum says with pity in his eyes. Amor's head feels as though it's spinning. She meets this really gorgeous guy who turns out to be a God and he ends up offering to make her a Goddess.
“My family...” Amor mumbles. Although Totum doesn't know what Amor is going through, he understands that she has to make a difficult decision. He understands that she must be feeling a rush of emotions and he understands why she would rather choose her family over some guy she just met. That's what love is, though. Love is always wanting to make the other person happy at all costs, even if you destroy yourself in the process... even if that means having to leave them. Totum stands there, his mouth completely dry, and waits for Amor to answer.
“Can I say goodbye?” Amor asks. Totum looks at her in complete surprise and wonders if she is choosing to stay with him.
“Of course...” Totum says “I will come with you and ask your parents if it is okay for us to be together.”
“You will ask for us to be married?” Amor asks.
“What is 'married'?” Totum asks.
“Well, marriage is when two people love each other very much and decide to stay together forever through the government.” Amor explains.
“...Will you marry me?” Totum asks.
“I will, Totum.” Amor says, the corners of her mouth rising.
After asking for Amor's parent's permission (and after Totum gave her parents two cows and four goats), Totum and Amor became married. The last thing to do was to turn Amor into a goddess.
“Are you ready?” Totum asks, nervously playing with his fingers. Totum had already told Amor how he can turn a mortal immortal. Totum must place his palms on the human's temples and force stardust into their head. This causes the mortal to get a migraine beyond any other, which in reaction to this, the mortal will faint. While unconscious, the stardust flows their the human, changing their body.
“...Yes.” Amor whispers. Totum places his palms on Amor's temples.