Heart of a Winner

Sidney quietly opened the apartment door and stepped inside before closing the door behind him. The lights were on and the television had a late night talk show blaring through the speakers. His eyes scanned the room until they landed on a blanketed lump softly snoring on the couch. Slowly, Sidney crept toward the sofa, placed a hand on the plush comforter, shook gently and hummed “El? Ellie, it's me.”

Her eyes fluttered open and when she looked up at Sidney, perched on the edge of the couch, a small smile spread across her lips. “Hey” Ellie groaned as she stretched out her arms.

“You wanna sit up?” Sidney asked pushing a strand of silky chestnut hair from El's face. She knew what he meant, he wanted to talk and wasn't actually giving her the option to stay laying down. The Canadian in Sidney made him pose his demand as a question. Ellie took her time pushing herself up into a sitting position, and stared into her lap when she faced him. “Ellie, look at me,” her eyes did not waiver from their position, “Elloise” Sidney shouted.

“What, Sidney? Why do you have to see my eyes? To taunt me? To tell me what I already know? You got gold, and I'm proud of you and happy for you, but it really fucking sucks how it happened. I know that makes me sound like a shittastic girlfriend, but losing fucking hurts, Sidney. Watching something you're emotionally invested in come crashing down, while you sit there, unable to help fix it, is terrible.” Sidney sat listening, letting Ellie speak every one of feelings out loud. “You probably think I'm crazy, getting so attached to a game I've never played, to people I've never even met. I am crazy, Sidney. Absolutely fucking nuts. And for some reason you're sitting hear taking my shit. You're going to break up with me aren't you? You listened to all of that to reassure yourself that I'm batshit.” Her pale skin flushed red with anger, and the vein along her neck protruded further with every breath she took.

“Ellie,” Sidney put his hand on her shoulder, “I listened to you because I knew you needed to talk about it. Because it does fucking suck when the team you're rooting for loses. I'm not going to rub the medal in your face, I'll hide it away in the back of the closet, El. It means a lot that you're proud of and happy for me, but I'd rather see a smile on that beautiful face of yours.”

They look at each other, Sidney examines Ellie's face and Ellie watches Sidney's eyes. “You've been crying,” they say simultaneously. Ellie puts a hand on Sidney's face and traces her thumb across his cheek.

“It was because of me, wasn't it?” Ellie asked, her voice a faint whisper.

Sidney wrapped his hand around her wrist, brought her hand down to his lips and kissed her palm. “It was.” His voice cracked and he moved her hand so it was between both of his. Tears began to accumulate along the brims of his lower lash lines. One by one, they rolled down Sidney's cheeks and the area around his nose began to redden. He sniffled and shook his head in an attempt to pull himself together.

“You can cry, Sidney. I wish you'd tell me what I did to cause this, I mean I know I was a bit of a bitch earlier, but--”

“It wasn't that,” he interrupted, his voice husky from crying, “I love you, Ellie. You have to know that, and it was physically painful to know that you'd be hurting. It's a lame as hell reason, but it's true.” He let her hand fall from his, stared into his lap much like Ellie had been earlier and tried to compose himself.

“Sidney,” she ran her fingers underneath his jawline and he looked up at her slowly like a puppy that had done something wrong. “I love you too,” tears started to stream down her face as she continued, “and that is the sweetest thing that has even been uttered from anyone's mouth.”

“I missed you.” Sidney murmured as he leaned in toward Ellie.

“I mis--” His lips cut her off. At first, it felt awkward, like a first date kiss. Eventually their lips found their rhythm again, and after their mouths were properly reacquainted Ellie pushed softly at his chest.

“You didn't let me finish, what I was going to say a few minutes ago.”

“You were going to say you missed me, right?” His brows furrowed.

“I was going to say, that I missed not waking up next you. I missed not being able to wrap my arms around you from behind while you brushed your teeth at the sink. I missed feeling your breath on my neck when we curl up and watch games. I missed going for walks at three in the morning because neither of us could sleep. I missed your voice, your smell, your laugh. I missed you, Sidney.”

He slapped her thigh, the sound was much louder than the playful force he had used would lead anyone to believe. Then, he shot up off the couch. “Let's go for a walk. Go grab your coat, and a hat, and gloves; it's snowing.”

“....Okay? Just give me a minute to put on clothes, and shoes, and stuff.” Ellie walked to their bedroom and Sidney followed her. His shoes pounded on the hardwood in the way socks or bare feet couldn't, so Ellie knew he had followed her. She turned quickly to catch him and fluster him. But he was sitting casually on the corner of their bed, holding one of his workout hoodies that had been laying on the bed.

“You wore this while I wasn't here?”

“Is that okay? I said I missed your smell and your clothes well... I didn't think you'd mind. I can wash it.”

“Ellie it's fine. You can wear my sweatshirts or t-shirts whenever you want to. If it helps you when I'm not here. Honestly, it's fine when I am here too. Now, stop lollygagging and get changed.” Sidney threw the sweatshirt onto a nearby chair.

“Are you going to stay in here while I do this?” She asked closing a dresser drawer with her hip after removing a pair of jeans.

“Oh most definitely. I haven't seen your beautiful body in almost three weeks. I feel like I've been deprived of Ellie's voluptuousness.” She pulled off her yoga pants to reveal long, some-what toned, pale legs. Sidney took in a sharp breath, and Ellie rolled her eyes, before slipping on the jeans and plopping herself next to him to put on boots. He grabbed Ellie's coat and winter accessories from their closet and handed them to her as she got off the bed. Sidney helped her put on her coat and waited for her at the front door.

“You ready?” He asked as she came out of their bedroom.

“Yep.” Ellie responded grabbing a set of keys of the hook before closing the door behind her.

The snow falling outside left a fresh, white dusting over the dirty snow piles. Sidney and Ellie walked down the deserted sidewalk with their hands intertwined. They didn't talk, but they both knew where they were going.

An old swing set in the middle of an open field came into view and they both took off running in a race to see who would get the only working swing. They both knew that it would end in Sidney pushing Ellie, but the race was still fun. Ellie beat him, he had let her, but he still pretended to act winded. Sidney pushed her on the swing for a few minutes before Ellie dragged her feet across the ground to stop it.

“Something wrong?” Sidney asked, looking down at the top of her head.

“The sun's coming up, and I'm tired.” She craned her neck back, and looked up at him. Ellie batted her eyelashes innocently and knew she had won him over. But he started to walk toward the street before Ellie had even gotten off the swing. “Wait.” She screamed running to him. He stopped and watched her come to a jarring halt in front of him. “I forgot to tell you something earlier. Something I missed about you.”

“The anticipation is killing me Els.” He pushed his hands deeper into his coat pockets.

“You know how you make the crack about missing my 'voluptuousness?'” Ellie twiddled her fingers like she was nervous.

“I was serious about that, but yeah, I remember.”

“Well, I missed this...” Before Sidney could ask what she was talking about, Ellie grabbed his butt, and ran off toward the swing set, half giggling-half screaming because she knew Sidney was going to grab her. His arms wrapped around her torso and he brought them down into a large snow pile before rolling on top of Ellie and putting snow down her jacket.

“Why am I being punished for missing your butt? It's very nice.” Her breathing was labored from running across the field in the cold.

“I really wanted to put snow down your jacket. You can enjoy my butt, I guess. This is a weird conversation to have in the middle of a field, Ellie.”

“Then get off me and let's go home. Where I can enjoy the superb structure you refer to as your ass, in those tight little briefs you like to wear to bed.” Sidney carefully pushed himself up and pulled Ellie up.

“Are you just using me for my body? Eloise, I am absolutely appalled.” He placed a hand over his heart to seem wounded.

“That's it. That's me. I am a Sidney Crosby body user, it is an addiction I just can't seem to quit. I hate to be the one to break the news to you, but you're stuck with me, for a long time.” Ellie linked arms with Sidney and pulled herself as close to him as possible. In response Sidney turned his head to kiss her just above her ear.

“Having you by my side for a long time is the opposite of bad news.”