The Babysitter

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Later that afternoon, Ava sat curled at the head of the boys’ bed and watched them while they watched Shrek 2 on the room’s DVD player. Joe was playing with Fats. Jake was pretty immersed in the movie. After she’d calmed down at the theater it’d taken a good twenty minutes to calm down Jake, who was more than a little upset that Ava was upset and Ava couldn’t blame him. Kurt took the kids for ice cream from the street vendor in front of the theater while Ava went into his dressing room and calmed herself down. She felt stupid.

She felt bruised.

She felt… seventeen.

Tonight was her night to go see Wicked and she was seriously debating just plain not going. She was so tired. Like, bone tired, drained, all of that emotional bullshit shrinks were always talking about.

“Hey guys, how were the trashcans?” Billie’s voice cut through the room and Ava jerked on the bed. How’d she miss the door opening? Joe bounded off the bed and Fats barked, following the little monster.

Jake stayed on the bed, he looked at Ava as she sat up, and it was like the kid understood more than he let on. Ava winked at him conspiratorially and shook her head. His brow furrowed into a determined look Ava recognized rather well, having seen it on Billie less than twenty four hours before and she decided to just go to her room and start getting ready.

“Jake? How’d you like Stomp, man?” Billie really was a good dad, Ava thought savagely as she shut her door almost all the way. She had her head bent into her suitcase when she heard Jake’s response.

“Ava cried, Dad. For like, a really, really long time.”

She went into her bathroom, deciding she didn’t want to hear them rehash the afternoon, but she couldn’t say she was surprised to hear Billie enter her room a few minutes later.

“Ava? You decent?” She heard him shut the door behind him and blushed while she dug through her makeup bag.

“Buck naked, actually,” she answered, walking back into the bedroom. He was sitting on the corner of her bed, arms crossed over his chest. She rolled her eyes. “Not that you’d care either way.”

He colored at that, but raised his eyebrows. Ava sighed, shaking her head and going back to her suitcase. She pulled out a pair of dark, dark blue jeans and an old Japanese style mini-dress she’d swiped from Cara. The brocaded silk was done in indigos and periwinkles and the shades complimented the jeans perfectly. She matter-of-factly pulled the thermal top off, ignoring Billie completely, and then went for the jeans. After she’d shimmied out of those she went to the bathroom with a new thong and bra. Then it was back into the bedroom. Billie just watched her. Ava’s jaw hardened.

“Quite looking at me like that,” she muttered, bending at the waist to pull the jeans on.

“About last night-“

“Don’t,” She buttoned the fly and then zipped, reaching for the dress. It really was a great find, over her head it went and then she zipped it up the side, finishing off with the buttons along the left shoulder. She scrutinized the outfit for a second before reaching into the bag again, this time coming out with a deep purple scarf and a pair of high, pointed toed stilettos.

“We’re going to have to talk about it sometime, you know.” He got up, walking toward her and she turned her back on him, facing the mirror that hung over the dresser as she tied the scarf in her hair, pulling it back from her face and letting the ends of the scarf hang down her back with the rest of her hair. She stared at his reflection in the mirror, silently daring him to tell her he was sorry or he wanted to take it back.

“Like hell we are,” she set to work with earrings, large hoops.

“Ava, it happened, okay? I’m not trying to pretend like it didn’t and quite frankly- “

“Shut up about it, okay?” She brushed past him and sat down on the bed to pull on the shoes. When she stood she was able to look him directly in the eye. He kept following her, getting into her space bubble, and she didn’t like it. Made her want to go all vulnerable or something. He sighed, looking down at her outfit.

“You look very Neo-Mod.”

She arched an eyebrow, thinking about her makeup bag, “S’what I was going for, are we done?”

“It’s a good look for you, Ava,” he reached up, brushing her hair back behind her ear. She opened her mouth to reply.

“Daddy, is she crying again?!” Jake stood in the doorway to the rooms, his arms crossed over his chest. Ava sighed, turning away from them both. She heard Fats whine and turned back, Joe was not two feet from her, the dog held in his chubby arms under his top shoulder joints. The poor animal looked hugely uncomfortable. Joe scowled up at her.

“No cry, Ava!”

She grinned, reaching out and poking Joseph’s nose. “I’m fine, kid. But put the dog down, okay?” Joe scowled deeper, but did put Fats down. The dog immediately crawled under Ava’s bed. Joe’s face suddenly brightened. “Mommy kiss!”

“Yeah dad!” Jake smacked Billie’s knee, “You always used to kiss mom when she cried and it made her feel better!”

“I need to put on my makeup,” Ava said, making a move to retreat to the bathroom.

“Kiss, Daddy!” Joe’s arms crossed over his chest again.

“This is a little different than that, guys,” Billie said quietly, laughter in his voice, but he did grab Ava’s wrist as she past by.

“Dad-“

“Go back to your room for a sec boys, I need to talk to Ava.”

“But-“

“Now, Joseph,” Joe stuck out his lower lip and Jake glowered, but they knew an order when they heard one. When the door was shut completely behind them Ava pulled her wrist away from him and walked to the bathroom. At the door Billie stopped her, his hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him. Ava looked into his eyes for a long moment and then shook her head.

“Don’t, please don’t.” Her voice was soft, but he didn’t touch her any more than the hand on her shoulder. It slid down to her upper arm and he squeezed it lightly. Ava closed her eyes for a moment, centering herself.

“Why not?” He lifted her chin with a curled finger and she was staring into his eyes.

“Because I’m not trying to be your w-“

“I know exactly who you are, Ava,” his voice was husky and she bit her lip. “And I’m all mixed up about it, but it doesn’t make me want to do this any less,” his lips descended and Ava didn’t have time to breathe, let alone think. Her stomach plummeted. Then righted itself and did a few cartwheels. His lips were soft, but insistent.

She fell back against the doorjamb and he followed, his body warm against her and the hand on her arm slid to her waist, pulling her to him. Possessively, his other hand slid to her neck, his thumb angling her chin upward so he could taste her more thoroughly. Ava’s lips parted and she gasped against his mouth.

His tongue claimed her, delving into her mouth and exploring. Her hand touched his chest tentatively, sliding against the softness of the tee shirt before sliding upward to touch his neck. His skin was warm and she made a soft sound in her throat, something between a whimper and a moan when his lips left hers to rove down her jaw, tiny little bites and then attention laved on the column of her neck.

He reached down, his fingers circling her wrist he pulled her other arm up and around his neck, then his hand was back to her waist, fingers playing along her side. She sighed, burying her face in the curve of his neck, her own lips searching now. They closed over the pulse, just behind his ear and he chuckled, Ava’s lips left his neck, her eyes opened to slits as she returned to his lips and she found him watching her. It was disconcerting, but she opened her eyes wider, watching him as he watched her.

The kiss broke and they stared silently at each other.

Ava felt both young and old in the circle of his arms. Both incredibly aroused and incredibly frightened. “So what happens now?” She asked quietly, her voice unsteady.

“Now?” His lips were a heavy pink, kiss roughened, and his voice was still that husky drawl. Ava nodded, “Now,” he murmured, dipping his head and kissing the corner of her mouth again, “You finish getting ready to see that play.” His hand cupped her jaw again, his thumb brushing along her chin, “There isn’t an easy answer, kid. We can talk about it when you get back if you want, but-“

“It’s not like we’ll ever be able to like, date or something,” she finished for him, laying her head on his shoulder. He held her for a moment and Ava closed her eyes, leaning into it and simply enjoying it.

“Why did you cry earlier?” He asked finally, not sure he wanted to hear the answer. Thinking perhaps he already knew anyway.

“Because I don’t understand how I can want you this much when I know it’s supposed to be wrong.” She hated that her life was becoming the plot to a really bad teen movie. And she hated that in some circles she’d just be considered a groupie. Especially since she still wasn’t a fan of his music. That made her smile, at least.

“I’ve never been one for ‘supposed to be’, kid.” He spoke to her hair, his breath tickling her. Ava smiled against his shirt.

“Do you really think this is a good idea?” She pulled back to look at his face, she watched the emotions flitting, there were about a hundred reasons why this was a very bad idea. To name one, if anybody ever found out the scandal would ruin him. He sighed.

“I don’t know what I think,” he pulled away from her, then cupped her face in two hands. “You’re right, I’d never be able to take you out on a date. We’d never be able to hold hands in public. It’d run the risk of being just sex,” he watched her wince and waited, when he felt like she was listening again he smiled, “I’m not gonna lie, Ava, I do want to have sex with you. But if you’re not sure-“

“Are you telling me that if we started something it’d be strictly sexual since you can’t take me out?” She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to decide if she were offended or thankful that he was honest.

“You know I wouldn’t do that to you, Ava.”

“Well then?”

He sighed. “You need to think about this, Ava.”

“Because I haven’t spent all fucking day thinking about it?”

“I’m serious. It’s a lot to ask.” He licked his lips and looked down at her. She really was young. “Go to the play. Think about it. Really think about it.”

“Billie, I want-“

“And if you want to pursue this, then-“

“Then what? Text you?”

“Let me finish, Ava. You and I both know that if I stick around we’re going to end up fucking right here, right?” She wouldn’t meet his eyes and he shook her once, “Well?”

“You know you’re right.” She crossed her arms under her breasts and he laughed outright when she pouted. He leaned forward, nipping her lower lip lightly and then speaking almost directly against her mouth, his eyes so close she noticed flecks of a darker green in them.

“Don’t pout, darlin’, you’re not two.”

Ava glared and he laughed outright, then sobered.

“Look, go to the play. Enjoy it. Then go for coffee or something and think. And if you still feel then like you feel now, well…” he trailed off and she thought she could hear him thinking. “I’m leaving my door unlocked tonight. It’s your choice, Ava.” He released her and went to the door, opening it.

“I’ll see you tonight,” she said, laughing quietly. He stared at her silently until she squirmed, unnerved. She got the impression he thought she was taking it too lightly. If he only knew.

“We’ll see.”