Guilty Pleasures

Instead of going with Wil to meet the boys in the morning, I stayed in the room cleaning and packing our luggage. Facing Kit would be too hard for me this early. I hadn't slept well and wasn't on top of my game.

I went to the Blue Iguana to have a few drinks after I filled our suitcases with our clothes, toiletries and souvenirs, leaving my camera bag on the bed.

The bartender put a third drink in front of me just as someone sat next to me.

"Beer, please."

I shifted on the stool and faced the voice when I'd heard a twinge of sadness in it, and saw Wil. "Anything wrong?"

"Not especially. Anything wrong with you?"

I lifted my shoulders. "No."

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Wil eyed me closely and raised his bottle to his mouth. I didn't know if he knew something or if he was taking a wild guess since I couldn't get it up the last night.

"Our vacation is over soon."

Wil set his beer on the bar and nodded. "We've made it this far. I still have hope for the future."

"Good. What is wrong, Wil? You sound down about something." I placed my hand over his.

He breathed deeply and cast his eyes down at our hands. "I saw the picture you took of Kit on your camera."

My mind scrambled to make an excuse. "Oh, he wanted a nude one to give to Dirk for their anniversary or was it his birthday?" I scratched my head as though in thought. I couldn't be more thankful he was sad about the picture and not that he'd found out Kit and I were naked in our room. There was nothing I could say to explain why we were undressed.

"That explains it then." He smiled, relieved by my lie. Whispering, he said, "I actually liked the picture, but it looked like he was smiling for you. I must have an overactive imagination." He laughed. "I still think about that hot video they made. I shouldn't, but I can't help it. What about you?"

He drank from the bottle as I answered, "Sometimes." Every waking moment. My growing attraction to Kit would be waning soon. When we departed the ship at home, he'd be out of my mind and way across the U.S. and thousands of miles from me.

"They're currently having a fight about money, so I came to find you. I looked all over too."

"Here I am." I patted his shoulder and finished my mixed drink, fighting myself from asking if the boys were okay. "It's almost time to go ashore. Do you want to change before I take you out?"

"Do you want me to?"

My eyes skimmed up and down his body. I liked his tan shorts and green polo. "No. You look great. Finish your beer and we can head out."
⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫
Wil took my hand and pulled me out of the taxi after I'd paid our fare.

"Wow." I murmured, staring at the formidable stucco, two story building with blue awnings. Small, square, blue tiles were positioned on the wall in a pattern and attached were clay flowerpots with live plants inside them. Someone hand painted birds on the surface of the building. It was beautiful.

"This looks expensive." Wil gazed up in awe. We both read the sign, La Rosa Azul, which translated to 'The Blue Rose' in English.

"Anything for you." I kissed him on the cheek. Maybe I shouldn't have. Were there laws in Mexico about two men kissing? I hoped not and let go of his hand just in case. I didn't want to end our vacation in the hospital.

My man opened the front door for me. He has a big heart; I was ecstatic he brought it to the surface again. We were seated at a table for two with a white tablecloth beneath a maroon one that was set askew purposely. The five-star restaurant gave a subdued atmosphere with an elegant setting, and I'd read the service surpassed all other restaurants in the area.

"This is nice!" Wil exclaimed as the waiter, wearing a black suit, white shirt and black tie, poured us each a complimentary glass of red wine. His black hair was combed back from his attractive face; his medium toned skin smooth and flawless.

"How are you gentlemen today?" Our waiter addressed us with a smile and kindness in his deep, dark brown eyes.

"We're great, thank you." Wil smiled up at him.

"Excellent. My name is Cruz and tonight's specials are any flavor of Margarita for four dollars." He explained the dinner specials, then said, "I'll leave you with the menus and come back to take your order. Enjoy your wine." He bowed, kindly handed us each a menu and turned on his heel.

"Is it me or is his accent extremely sexy?" I asked, flipping open the menu to view the choices.

"Definitely. I have half a boner." Wil chuckled from behind his menu.

A loud burst in the form of a laugh came from me. I'd been caught off guard by his answer.

"Shhhh" He put a finger to his lips. "They'll think you had too much wine already."

I covered my mouth and felt the skin around my eyes crinkle from happiness. He lifted his wine glass, then mine and handed it to me.

"Cheers."

"Cheers." I brought the glass to my mouth to take a sip.

"Wait!" Wil stopped me. I looked at him, questioning his abrupt halt.

"I want to say something first." He cleared his throat and lifted his sparkling gaze. "I love you, Richard, and this vacation has been the thing I needed to feel close to you again. Things are going to be very different when we get home."

"I love you, too." We clinked glasses and our eyes met as we sipped the unusual wine. It was very dry, yet flavorful and we both liked it so we decided to order it with our meal.

Cruz came back boasting a smile and a straight posture. "Are you gentlemen ready to order?"

Wil ordered a bottle of wine and together we'd decided to have the fajitas for two. Screw what the waiter thought about two men sharing a meal.

"Very good," Mister sexy accent said and bowed.

I turned to Wil and stressed, "Every time he bows, I want to get behind him and have my way with him." I watched the waiter walk away. "He has a cute tush too."

"He certainly does." Wil spoke in a faraway voice with an appearance on his face of having his mind in another place.

"Would you?"

Still staring after the waiter, he asked, "Would I what?"

"Would you sleep with him if he was willing and if I weren't here?"

His eyes snapped to my face, "Where would you be?"

"I'd be somewhere else." I answered hastily. "So would you? If you knew I wasn't going to find out or catch you. Truthfully." I held my wineglass up and swallowed the rest of the liquid, burning my throat.

"You would never find out about it?" Wil asked scrutinizing me.

"Yes. I'd never know."

He seemed to ponder it for a second. "No. I couldn't live with myself knowing I did that to you. Even if you never found out, I'd still know what I did and the guilt would eat me up. No guy's ass is worth that amount of guilt."

I flashed him a quick nervous smile. It was admirable of him to admit, but I don't know if I'd give the same answer. Yes, I'd feel the burden of guilt, but there was the thrill of being with someone else especially if Wil never found out. However, I did begin to feel guilty. I knew I couldn't do it either. I had a chance with Kit and I'd declined.

"Would you do it?" he asked me.

"Only if it was with Ricky Martin." I laughed because that was Wil's dream man.

"Hey, that's not fair! If you ever have a chance to be with him, I'd expect you to call me in to be the third."

Another glass of wine down and the waiter brought a platter with sizzling beef and garnish on the side. He set down a round wicker basket covered with a thick towel that kept our tortillas warm.

"Do you require more wine?" The waiter asked as he used tongs to peel off a tortilla. He laid it on my plate, then he did the same for Wil.

"No thank you, Cruz." We still had a portion of the bottle to finish.

"Please let me know if you need anything." Cruz smiled at us again, did his bow and left.

Wil and I piled on the meat and the garnishes and ate three fajitas each.

After we hailed a cab to take us back to the boat, I mentioned, "The ship pulls into the L.A. port at 7am."

"Christ that's early."

"So, I thought we'd spend the last night walking on the deck in the moonlight—if you want to, that is."

"It sounds romantic, like you." Wil leaned to me, but decided he shouldn’t.

I think he was going to kiss me, but we both could see the taxi driver eyeing us in the mirror. Neither one of us wanted trouble.

We should have been back at the ship by now. I glanced at the unrecognizable scenery out the window and nudged Wil.

"Where are we? I don't think he's taking us back," I whispered, my voice shaking.

He frowned and moved forward in the seat, tapped the driver on the shoulder and asked, "Do you speak English?"

"Sí."

"Where are you taking us? We have to be on the ship by 8pm or we'll miss it."

"No worries, señor."

Wil sat back and rolled his eyes at me. "This is how they run the fare up; they take the long way back and charge you twice as much."

I wasn't sure. He could be taking us out in the middle of nowhere to kill us. I was panicking and kept looking out the window for familiarity. Wil was calm, cool and collected and it annoyed me that he wasn't worried about our safely.

I wanted to speak up and tell the driver to let us out, but I didn't want to be stranded in the middle of nowhere. Finally, he pulled onto a one lane road and drove uphill for about a mile before the cab came to a stop.

The driver put his hand across the back of the passenger seat and turned to us.

"Get out, see the beauty."

What?

Wil opened the door and exited; I called him back. There was a good chance the driver would take off and leave us.

"Come on Richard, where's your sense of adventure?"

"I left it on the ship," I told him, my words rushed, sounding like one long word. He was leaning in and urging me to follow him.

"Fine," I replied stubbornly.

"Go to the edge," the driver insisted, leaning against the cab and pointing to the sunset.

"Wil, what's happening?" I took his hand, my lifeline, and he had to pull me along to the top of the cliff we were on. There, I stood in amazement at the scene before us. We were high above the ocean looking at beautiful rock formations when we gazed down. The sun had turned orange and the sky a pastel blend of colors.

"The view here is beautiful," I whispered, becoming emotional by the broadminded considerate man behind the wheel.

"And you thought he was going to kill us." Wil laughed. "Here," he said and opened his arms.

My body relaxed within his arms. We watched the sun set into the ocean and marveled at the colorful backdrop of the evening. I embraced the amorous feelings that settled within me.

"May I have this kiss?" Wil needn't have asked in a seductive tone, I'd kiss him regardless. He brought his lips to mine. I closed my eyes and accepted his warm tongue to circle the tip of mine. I expected to feel fluttery sensations in my stomach, but they were quiet, until he put more effort into it. He continued to kiss me and plunged into my mouth. Sensibility escaped me and I was soaring above the heavens. This was the Wil I'd fallen in love with, this was the man I wanted back, and I had him.

My hands wandered to his ass and squeezed as I pressed myself to his groin. The familiar stirrings that were dormant last night awoke and my body buzzed with electricity.

If Wil noticed anything askew about me, he didn't mention it. He smiled after our kiss ended and took my hand. We walked back to the cab where he opened the door for me. I slid in and he sat next to me.

"Thank you, sir, for what you've done for us." I said to the driver, appreciating his insight that this would be a wonderful end to an extraordinary evening. "The view was beautiful."

"You are welcome. I hope you enjoyed your stay in Mexico." He pronounced it Meh-he-co.

"We loved it, and for you to do what you did... well that was above and beyond what we expected. You are one remarkable man," Wil exclaimed.

Our driver smiled, embarrassed, in the mirror and kept his hands on the wheel.

The cruise ship was in our view, lit up like a festival. I paid the fare and tipped the driver generously for his thoughtfulness of showing us a sight no one else witnessed tonight.

Wil and I walked aboard holding hands, and saw Kit and Dirk standing at the candy shop with lollipops in their mouths. They saw us and walked toward Wil and me.

"There's nothing like a sweet tasting phallic symbol to get you in the mood." Wil chuckled. "It looks like they made up."

"I don't think so." I observed them keeping an unnatural distance between them. Couples walked close to one another, but with Dirk and Kit, a person could walk with them in the middle and still have enough room to swing their arms.

"Hey!" Dirk jumped and landed two feet in front of us wearing a grin. "How was Mexico?"

"Great!" Wil and I replied at the same time.

Wil added, "Richard took me to a very romantic restaurant, then our cab driver took us to a beautiful view from atop a cliff."

I quickly asked Kit, "What did you two do?"

Kit lowered his eyes and made a popping noise when he pulled the round lollipop out of his mouth. He left Dirk to reply to my question.

"We shopped, ate at a burrito stand and pigged out. I believe the food will be coming back to haunt us tonight." He rubbed his stomach and grimaced. "We didn't stay long."

Kit looked up. "We came back to wait for you."

He'd said it while staring right at me, yet, I knew the others would interpret his meaning Wil and I.

I gave him a small smile until Dirk spoke again, and pulled my attention away from Kit's beautiful face.

"You old guys wanna do something with Kit and me?" Dirk shifted and stuck out his left hip.

"Sure, seeing as this is our last night on the ship. What do you have in mind?" Wil was ready and gung ho to do something; I was not.

Dirk glanced at Kit, who shrugged, and faced Wil again. "There's dancing, movies, and shows, or we could play shuffle board. That would be right up your alley," he teased.

"Nooo," Wil drawled as he rubbed his chin. "Rock climbing! There's a wall on the upper deck." He held his finger up. This was not a good idea.

"I’m not doing that, Wil," I asserted my position on the matter.

"Why not?" he asked astonished, overacting his disappointment.

"I don't want to die on the last night of my vacation." I should have said our vacation because when I saw Kit's hopeful expression, I knew he heard my mistake. It gave him hope he and I could be together.

Dirk, as animated as he was, jumped up and down. "Yeah! Let's climb that fucker!"

Wil took my arm and pulled me away. "You wear a bungee cord which is secured to ... well, something so that you won't fall. Let's do this as a team; you and me. It'll be exhilarating. Please?"

"You, Dirk and Kit can do it. I'm fine with my feet on the deck watching you all." I smiled weakly. All I really wanted to do was have a stroll, then go to bed and relax and drift off to sleep.

"Fantastic!"

I rolled my eyes. He'd chosen to ignore my disinterest and I couldn't blame him. If I really wanted my way, I could argue with him, but that's the last thing I wanted to do on such a romantic night. It was about what the boys wanted to do since it was our last night to engage in activities with them.

Wil strode with Dirk, walking energetically with his hands swinging. Kit and I were behind them.

"I'm glad we get to spend some time together before we part ways tomorrow," Kit kept his voice low so our conversation stayed private. "I don't really want to climb rocks. Mind if I stick around with you?"

"I don't mind at all." We weren't going to be alone, there would be people all around us, and I was capable of taking care of myself. I cleared my throat and stared ahead.

Kit and I took seats facing the rock-climbing wall. Wil and Dirk chose the most challenging wall; to prove they were men or to show off? Once they were fitted and their belay's were secured, they began to climb, placing their feet on the crags and stretched their arms up to grip the next handhold.

They were talking and laughing, but out of our hearing range so we couldn't hear exactly what they were laughing about.

"You sure you don't want to go up?" I turned to Kit, who I just now noticed, had been staring at me. He was seated sideways, his body twisted to face me.

"No. I have no interest in it. What about you?"

I chuckled. "There is no way in hell anyone could get me to try that. It's insane and a waste of money."

Kit's lids lowered to my lap; I crossed my legs out of discomfort.

"What are you planning to do when you get back to your place in New York?" I had nothing else to talk about, nothing that came to mind.

"Dirk and I have a swimwear shoot next week."

He seemed not to want to talk about that. I started to change the subject when Dirk yelled to Kit, "Hey baby! Look at me; I'm on top of the world."

I watched Kit. He turned to Dirk and gave a lazy wave without smiling.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, getting Kit's attention.

"Not exactly, no," he denied it, visibly lying with a hem-haw answer.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"There's a lot you can do, but you won't." He pursed his lips.

I knew what he was referring to. "I don't know what to tell you, Kit. You're attractive, funny, smart and sexy, but you're so much younger than I am. It wouldn't have worked, we're too different."

"How do you know if you don't give me a chance?" His voice was high with wonder.

"We live on opposite coasts of the U.S. We don't have anything in common." I was still making excuses that were utter nonsense. This wasn't about Kit and me, rather it was about Wil and me.

"I'll move to L.A." Kit put his hand on my arm.

"But your career is in New York. Never leave a successful job to relocate unless you have a job lined up already."

Kit's shoulders sank. I was the cause of his plummeting mood and guilt eased its way in my head. To distract myself, I asked, "Did you and Dirk have a good time on this cruise?"

"It was okay, and then I met you."

"Oh."

"Then it was really enjoyable. The way you kissed me—I've never felt so happy or turned on before."

I said nothing. His eyes had brightened up from the dull look in them and he was smiling. I didn't want to get into another discussion about him and me dating.

I glanced away from his radiant face. "They're nearly at the top." I pointed to Wil and Dirk. Dirk was in the lead. "Looks like your boy may beat my man."

"He's not my boy."

"Your boyfriend then."

Kit huffed and crossed his arms. "Can we go somewhere private? I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"I can't say here, not around all these people.

I was sure he'd planned to get me alone and I didn't want to get suckered into it. "Tell me here, whisper it."

"Can't you just come with me? I won't keep you long, I promise."

I followed him to his room despite the warnings in my head and the wrenching of my gut.

"I'm not staying long. Wil is going to wonder where I am," I explained when I entered his room. I spun around to see Kit coming toward me. "What is this about?"

Kit raised his hands and placed them on my shoulders. There came that warm sensation again followed by alarms ringing in my ears. "Kit, we can't..."

"Ricky, I just want to be alone with you to kiss you goodbye. I hope I see you again, but I'm not sure I will because you won't take a gamble on me."

My head shook and he begged.

"It's one kiss. Just one, please?"

"Only one?" I questioned warily.

"One, that's all." Kit smiled and massaged my shoulders.

His smile disarmed me and I agreed. "I guess so," I said against my better judgment and dipped my head. He raised his face so my mouth would meet the sensual fullness of his lips. I wrapped my arms around him, not to encourage him, but to keep him in my arms so I'd be the one to dictate how long this kiss would last.

I lost my bearings when our lips had come together: warm, soft and yielding. I desperately needed a breath and halted.

He had a knowing gleam in his blue eyes as he spoke to me, "You said one kiss. That wasn't a real kiss."

The hell it wasn't! My heart was galloping in my chest from the intense passion we'd shared in that one kiss.

I nodded; I needed more, just a little bit more. "Okay, fine. I'll give you a real kiss, then I'm leaving."

"No problem," Kit murmured, staring at my mouth.

This time when we kissed, something inside of me snapped, surrendered and freed itself. His kiss was slow and lazy, seducing my mouth and insistently teasing it with his tongue. The muscles in my body succumbed to his persuasion and I let him plunder my mouth.

We moaned in unison when he thrust once against the area between my hips. He didn't do it again, but that one time was enough. We wanted each other badly, as our erections attested.

We tilted our heads the other way and back again, getting frantic and frenzied. We couldn't get enough of each other. His hands roamed up and down my back and touched every knot of my spine. My mind was racing and I couldn't control myself. My hands ended up in his shirt to pluck at each small nipple, teasing them into hard points. A series of indecent whimpers came from him because of my fumbling fingers.

The noises were a testament that he craved me, maybe even more than I wanted him. We deepened our kiss simultaneously and slowed down to enjoy the rough side of our tongues edged together. I took as many small steps forward to get closer to him, like a magnet attracted to another, and ended up with his feet between both of mine.

It would be so easy. Easy to take him to his bed and lay him out all pretty like, then fuck him 'til he was disheveled and drained of energy.

I began to pull back. Temptation was around every corner, but I wouldn't give in. This was enough. I'd had enough.

"Ricky, stay."

I wiped my lips with the back of my hand, the wetness clinging to my skin. "I can't." I made sure to say it like I meant it. "Goodnight, Kit," I said as I gazed at him. He wore a smile of success because he knew if I'd stayed a few more minutes, he would have seduced me.

"That was one helluva kiss, Mister Parker." Kit's voice was joyful.

I tried to remain calm, but my nerves were itchy. I resembled a shy little kid. "Thank you."

"You're thanking me?" Kit laughed. "It was both of us. We make a great team, you and I."

His finger stroked my body from my stomach to my chest. "I hope to see you tomorrow before we leave the ship. I might have some news for you."

"For me?" My eyes widened. I took his finger and lowered his arm. "I'm sure Wil and I will see you and Dirk tomorrow." I turned to the door, wanting to knock my forehead against it until I felt I'd punished myself enough. I couldn't tell Wil I'd kissed him again, more than once, no, more than twice.

"Make sure you do. Goodnight, Ricky, sexy dreams." Kit giggled and swatted my ass.

"Sexy dreams right back at ya." I turned my head and smiled before I walked out the door. He closed it and I heard him singing.

"You always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting"