Guilty Pleasures

Wil woke me Sunday morning by running his fingers along my abdomen. We were both naked after having a long, intimate time in bed when we returned to our room after a night of seductive dancing.

"How did you sleep?" He caressed my stubbly cheek.

"Like a baby. The ship is huge; I didn't feel any rocking or waves. What about you?"

"I slept alright. So how long before we get to land?"

I'd memorized the itinerary before our trip and told him, "We don't get to Kailua-Kona, Hawaii until Friday."

"Oh."

"You don't like the ship?"

"I do, I was curious. I'd forgotten what day we disembark. I want to see the Volcanoes National Park. I've heard so much about it."

His fingers trailed lower, making circles and curling in my pubic hair.

Before things went further, I asked, "Should we get dressed and see what's for breakfast on the lower deck?"

"You go ahead. I'm still a tad sleepy."

"I'll bring back a plate of food for you." I sat up and tousled his short hair. I sorted through the dresser, put on a pair of blue shorts with a white t-shirt, and slipped on my sandals.

"So last night..." I chuckled. "An octopus groped and felt me up—I'm talking hands everywhere near the end of the night."

He outright laughed. "That's how they dance now. I wouldn’t take it personally."

"I'm not, but it is nice having someone touch me because they think I'm sexy."

Wil sat up and bunched the blanket around his waist. "I think you're sexy, doesn't that count?"

Here we go—another fight.

"I didn't mean anything by it, Wil. Relax."

"I got the same treatment. It was nothing special."

"You didn't get a little excited? Two young men wanting to dance with us old guys?"

"Yeah, I guess so." He fiddled with the blanket while looking down. "I just don't want to fantasize about them when we're here to mend our broken relationship."

"The state of our relationship isn't broken, it's a little bent. Normal people fantasize, it's okay."

He was quiet for a moment before he peered at me. "This is close to what we did with Kane, only there are two of them."

"What are you suggesting?" my panic rose at the thought of swinging.

"Ah, nothing." He waved his hand and tried to smile his way out of an explanation. "I'm going back to sleep. See you later?"

"Yes." I opened the door and turned back. He was already lying in bed with the blanket up to his chest. Intentional or not, he'd given me food for thought.
⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫

It was a gorgeous day on the ocean. The sun sparkled off the rippling waves and the skies were blue without a cloud in sight. I inhaled the salty fresh air and released it, feeling serene and happy. I spotted Daniel and Amy at an outside table, one without an umbrella. They smiled and waved me over.

"Join us. Where's ... ah..."

"Wil," I finished for Amy. "He's tired. We stayed out late dancing with the boys at our table."

Daniel nodded before sipping his mimosa. "That'll do it. We saw an evening show and went to bed in the dead of night. We're both tired, but we're morning people, so we really couldn't sleep in if we wanted to."

"Go get some breakfast. We can talk when you come back," Amy said sweetly.

I respected her and Daniel; so open-minded at their age and easy to speak to. I went to the short buffet line and filled my plate with eggs, bacon, a muffin, and pocketed an orange. I carried my cup of coffee in my other hand and sipped the hot bitterness on my way back to my breakfast mates.

"What a beautiful morning, hm?" I took in the sight of the dark blue the ocean again, seeing nothing but calm waves for miles.

"The view is picturesque. We're planning on spending the day at the pool. Amy likes to swim, but I've never learned how. I might sit in the hot tub with all the other non-swimmers. I hope there are some pretty women to converse with," Daniel teased his wife, but she didn't seem to mind. Their relationship seemed solid, built on trust, and jealous free.

"You go on and flirt. I know what gets you going and they don't, Mister. You'll always come back to me."

"Because I love you and I can't live without you, sweetheart," he said to her, making her cheeks turn pink. He turned to me with a piece of toast in his hand, pointing one triangular end at me. "I fell in love with her the moment she opened her mouth and I heard her sweet voice."

"That's very romantic," I told them. She then proceeded to tell me about their first date and how anxious Daniel was to meet her parents. Amy asked me about Wil and why we weren't married.

"I met him through a mutual friend. We fell in love instantly as well. As for marriage, it came up several times, but we never explored it in a serious sense and now I'm relieved we haven't." I shoved a spoonful off scrambled eggs in my mouth. I'd said too much.

"Why is that?" Daniel asked, he and Amy sloped toward me.

Since we were adults, I gathered my relationship troubles wouldn't be judged, and confided, "We're having a rough patch and thought a vacation would reconnect us. We love each other, but our life has become dull. You could say this is our last ditch-effort."

Daniel went back to eating, but his wife gave the impression she was concerned.

"Have you tried therapy or sex counseling?"

"Amy!" Daniel wasn't too pleased about her unabashed manners.

I said it was all right for her to discuss the issue. "We read several sex books. As for therapists, they tell every couple the same thing: talk to each other, express our feelings, and begin doing things together—which is the reason we're on this cruise."

We finished eating and went back for refills on coffee. I also filled a plate to take up to Wil for when he woke.

"What are your plans for today?"

I answered Daniel's question, "I'm not sure. Wil and I haven't talked about it yet. I'd like to sit poolside and maybe go to one of the casinos."

"Maybe we'll see you at the pool?" Amy seemed excited to see both of us again.

"Possibly, will you be at dinner or have you made reservations at one of the restaurants?" I asked both of them.

"We'll be in the grand dining room again. We never turn down 'free', although I will take Amy to a special restaurant once or twice while we're out on the ocean."

"I agree with you. Free is best and gives us more spending money for the stores and casinos—that's where they make the big bucks." I finished my coffee, sat back and crossed my leg over the other. This cruise was relaxing and I was feeling the effects of my relationship with Wil, with work, and other stressors in my life float away on the haze of heat off the water in the distance.

"Daniel, I'd like to change and have a swim in a while." Amy's voice was kind and soft as she patted his hand.

"Yes, my dear." Daniel stood and pulled her chair away from the table. "Say hello to Wil when you see him."

"Sure thing." I smiled at the couple who walked away hand in hand. I'd been inspired. I had an idea to bring adventure and titillation to my relationship. I rose and picked up the plate for Wil, intending to feed him in bed. I was pushing my chair in when I heard an all too familiar laugh and turned my head.

Wil was sitting not more than six tables away and by what I saw, he was wearing his pale blue swim trunks with sandals, sans a shirt. Appalled and angry that he hadn't sought me out, I dropped the plate of food on the table, not caring that I hadn't been gentle with it.

I ran my hand up the side of my neck to my hair as I tried to rationalize why Wil would do this to me. He laughed again and that's when it hit me. He was enjoying himself and I wished I could be a part of it.

What good is a couple when one-half is unhappy? However, I wouldn't take his carefree and content moments and ruin them. No, I'd join in, and hell, I'd even laugh along. We promised to dedicate ourselves to each other, although it didn’t seem he wanted it that way at the moment.

Coughing briefly to relieve the tightness in my throat that had formed, I walked casually to Wil and kept a broad mind. He looked up when he saw me.

"Hey honey. I couldn't get back to sleep so I came down to find you and I ran into these two."

I tore my eyes from him and glanced at both Kit and Dirk. They had sneaky twin smiles and mischief in their eyes. What were they up to?

"Hello there, Mister Parker," they said and laughed, grins a mile wide, then high-fived each other.

"Good morning, and please, call me Richard." I nodded to acknowledge them.

"Have a seat." Dirk pointed to the available chair next to Kit and extended his leg, kicking it out for me from under the table with his foot.

"Thank you, Dirk." I sat and clutched the armrests out of nervousness from the weird vibe that came from those two.

Wil rested his arms over his waist and mentioned, "Dirk and Kit were just about to tell me where they work."

"Oh?" I looked at them. "I thought you'd be in college."

"Nope." Dirk grinned. "We're underwear models. That's how we met."

I clenched my jaw closed so I didn't make a dumb model joke.

"Isn't that great?" Wil asked me. I suppose the job was great for the kids, but they couldn't live off their looks for the rest of their lives.

"Dirk has even posed naked in 'Hot Boys' magazine." Kit tickled the back of Dirk's neck by wriggling his fingers. "You guys probably don't know that one. I figure you read 'Geriatrics Today' or 'The Coffin Factory'."

Wil belly laughed. I was more reserved. I disliked being called old when I wasn't, but for the sake of the group, I forced out a chuckle.

Kit turned to me, his eyes squinting in the bright sun. "What are you men doing today?"

"We don't have plans." Wil spoke up, but I made my wants known.

"I'd like to go to a casino and swim and catch Broadway diva Patti LuPone performing in the show room tonight." I had barely contained my enthusiasm.

"Who the hell is that?" Dirk asked.

"I'm guessing it's some old guy in drag," Kit broke in, laughing with Dirk before I could explain.

"All right, I've had enough. I'm taking my wallet and trying my luck on the cards. Come with me, Wil." I thought I'd been persuasive, but the edge in my voice hadn't been heard.

"I'm going to stay and enjoy the breeze and, I don't know, relax."

He looked at me with such an amazing smile that it didn't bother me that he didn't want to do something together. Time apart heals too, right? I took one more look at his chest and shoulders. They were reddening from the sun and I bet I'd be able to feel the heat on my lips if I'd kissed his skin.

"Stay with us, Ricky." The better looking of the two youths had spoken in a whiny way.

"Not this time. You guys have fun," I told them, disliking the nickname, and left the babysitter with the children. There was so much one could take from immature people. Didn't they sense by my actions and clipped words that their remarks about me being old were becoming old? I shook my head as I walked away.

What had Wil and I gotten ourselves into? There'd be no time alone on a ship filled with people in the middle of the ocean. Water surrounded us and there was no going back. The only way home was to finish the cruise. We'd have to deal with each other. I'd make myself be devoted to him once again and if that meant doing what he wanted to do, then so be it. Although I will say that if he wants to get tattoos with Kit and Dirk, that's where I'm drawing the line. On second thought, Wil had better not suggest something sexual with those two to embarrass me or I'll live out my days as a hermit in some rainforest and die by a poisonous bite from an amphibian no one has discovered yet.