Guilty Pleasures

Gregg and I drove back to our hotel and talked about the amazing day we had at the canyon. Neither of us had experienced something so dangerous or thrilling. We'd felt so helpless watching, unable to come to Jordan's aide if he'd fall.

I took off my hat and combed my fingers through my hair. The dust and grimy feeling on my face needed attention from soap and water. I took a shower once we returned and dressed for dinner in slacks and a three-button shirt with a collar.

"You look like you're going out." Gregg eyed me top to bottom.

"We're going to a restaurant," I announced, not leaving room for argument.

"I better shower then." He gathered similar clothing from his suitcase and walked past me.

"Wait." I stopped him and plugged in the iron. "Hand me your shirt. I'll get the wrinkles out for you.

"You're pretty useful." He teased, inferring that since I'm gay, I'm house-wifey-ish. I didn't take offense and merely laughed. Then he mentioned, "We're not going on a date if that's what you think this is." He quirked a brow. At my head jerk and disbelieving look, he snickered at his ridiculous joke.

"I did have a proposition to have dinner with Jordan." I gave him a smug look.

"If you'd like his company ... what am I saying? Of course you'd prefer his company over mine. Anyway," He shook his head. "You have my permission to go out with him. I don't mind eating here in the room."

"I told him no, but he did give me his number if I changed my mind."

"Was it an innocent invitation?"

"Hardly. He made it clear how the night would end. I'm sure his offer came on the heels of an adrenaline rush."

"Don't be so sure." Gregg wiggled his brows. "But I'm proud of ya, man. Kit will certainly appreciate what he's got in you."

"I don't plan on telling him." I laid out his shirt; the iron was hot enough. "Now get in the shower you dirty man." I clamped my mouth shut. He could take that sentence one of two ways. I wasn't flirting and thank god he didn't think I'd been. I came to a newfound respect for him. He hadn't an ounce of hypocrisy in him.

From the table in our room, I picked up the plastic card that listed restaurants in the area. Gregg and I liked the same foods and I hungered for Mexican cuisine. There were three places to choose from. I picked the closest to our hotel.

Gregg buttoned his pressed shirt, commenting, "You could have invited Jordan to dine with us."

I didn't regret turning Jordan down, but curiosity won out and I wondered what it would be like going out with him and all that entailed in his proposal of 'promising me a fulfilling end to the night'. "Nah, besides, he'd get the wrong idea. He'd think you and I want a threesome." I turned away to keep from laughing when I saw his eyes widen and his mouth drop open.

"The hell you say!"

"It was a joke." I faced him again, beaming. "Are you ready?"

"Yep. Let's hit the road."
∞∞∞∞∞∞
Dinner had been satisfying and I'd been in excellent company. We were sitting on our beds with our laptops open; he writing up an article and me going through the pictures I'd uploaded. Tomorrow morning we'd meet with Jordan again to get more information about the canyon, then later, we'd fly home.

Breakfast consisted of free pastries, coffee and fruit in the lobby. Our meeting with Jordan in the visitors area at Zion Park went well despite his obvious flirting: subtle touches on my shoulder, grazing the back of his hand against mine, and 'accidentally' brushing across my ass more than once.

At one point Gregg threw up his hands and stated, "Why don't you guys go behind that partition and fuck it out and then maybe then we can concentrate on finishing this interview?"

I rolled my eyes at him and he lifted his shoulders and let them drop with a snicker. Jordan had given me an 'I'm willing' look. Laughing, I told him no. At 3pm, we had to leave in order to check in at airport security before our departure. Jordan gave me a tight hug and whispered to me, "If you're over this way again, look me up. I love a good challenge and would love to explore you and navigate your crevasse and chamber."

Choking over my words and disbelieving what I'd heard him say while trying to maintain a relaxed expression, I told him, "I will," knowing there was no reason for me to come back to Utah. He quickly pecked my cheek, shocking me again. I said an awkward goodbye and followed Gregg to the parking lot. He teased me about Jordan all the way to the hotel, to the airport and on the flight home. I had snappy comebacks and we laughed the majority of the plane ride.

Unable to contain my excitement at seeing my lover, I said a quick goodbye to Gregg after we landed. I took a taxi that couldn't drive fast enough for my liking to Kit's apartment. Once there, I rode the elevator to his floor where I ran down the hall and stopped at his door. Out of breath, I knocked and didn't rest until he answered; looking haggard and tired.

"Hey, Richard."

"Hi. How are you?" I pulled him close, hugged him, and left a kiss on his unshaven cheek. He gave me a tight squeeze and then took my overnight luggage and camera bag and set them on the floor and closed the door.

"I'm beat." He slumped in my arms. "I had some friends over after Dawson went to bed last night. We stayed up late talking and messing around. Oh," Kit lifted his arm and waggled his finger. "He's eating dinner at the table—Mac and Cheese and a grape jam sandwich."

I pecked him on the lips, thanked him, and walked to the table off the kitchen. Dawson ate quietly as I pulled out a chair and smiled at him. I addressed him as I plunked down on the chair, "Hi Dawson. I missed you. Did you miss me?" I wanted to pick him up, hug him, and give him a kiss, but the area surrounding his mouth was colored orange and sticky purple from his food. His giraffe shirt was equally messy.

"Miss you, daddy." He scooped noodles on his spoon and fed his mouth. I looked up when Kit came and stood behind him.

"Now that you're here, would you mind if I went to bed?" His focus drifted and he yawned widely without covering his mouth.

"No bed." Dawson stood on his chair, turned, and pulled on Kit's shirt.

"Go ahead, but first, how did he sleep? Where did he sleep?" I asked. Dark circles under Kit's eyes stood out even on his tanned skin.

"In my bed. I had to lie with him or he wouldn't settle down. He's cute when he's asleep." He picked Dawson up and set him down facing his plate of food. "Eat up."

"So..." I rubbed my jaw. "Were you and your friends drinking?"

"When?" Kit rubbed his eyes with fists, then opened them wide in an effort to stay awake and yawned again.

"Last night. I already know you were throwing them back Friday night." I hadn't mean to sound snappish, but I wasn't able to stop my tone before the words left my mouth.

He gave me a blank look and shook his head side to side. "I didn't have a drop last night because I was responsible for Dawson, but the guys did. Do you have any idea how boring it is when everyone is drunk and you're sober? I didn't get half the jokes they were laughing about, and watching them fall all over the place was annoying."

"Yes, I know how it is." I gave an affirmative nod, knowing all too well how dull a party can be when everyone else is intoxicated. I often was the designated driver toting Wil around at our friends' parties. "Sneak off to b-e-d," I spelled. "I'll join you later."

"M'kay." Kit kissed the top of Dawson's head, then my lips. "God, I missed your mouth," he said with a whisper that tickled my lips.

"Missed yours too." His lips on mine had been inviting and yielding. I'd liked to have kissed him longer. I'd memorized how his body felt under my palms long ago, but that didn't mean I didn't want to touch him now. "Go, before I take you unwillingly."

With his eyes half lidded, another yawn escaped him. "What makes you think I'd be unwilling?"

"Just a fantasy I have. Did you think of a way for me to pay you back for babysitting?"

"Yes." He smirked. "I want to watch you with another guy."

"Bullshi- bull crap," I corrected. My gaze shot to Dawson. He was listening, but busy eating. "I know you well enough that it's something you wouldn't want."

"I know. I just wanted to hear what you had to say. Well, goodnight."

"Stay." Dawson spoke up with a look over his shoulder.

"Baby," I spoke in a soft voice. "Kit is sleepy. He needs a nap."

Dawson turned his mouth down and looked as if he'd cry. I distracted him while Kit crept away. "Eat your dinner and after, we can play with your toys." I opened my expression and clapped as if I couldn't wait to play with toys. Yes, it was my life's calling.
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Close to 8pm, Dawson yawned and lay on the floor. "Bedtime." I announced. "Let's go potty. I'd given him a bath after dinner and put his pajamas on. He refused to wear a diaper and wanted big boy underwear. Reluctantly, I let him have his way to avoid a screaming toddler's demands.

He ran out of the bathroom after relieving himself and washing his hands. I sprinted after him, seeing him run into Kit's room and jumping up to get on the bed, clutching at the blankets and kicking his feet to propel himself upward. Unsuccessful, he landed on the floor.

"Dawson, can you sleep in the other room?" I whispered, watching Kit to see if he'd woken; he was out like a light.

"No," Dawson whined and writhed in my arms when I picked him up. His small arms reached out to Kit as he leaned toward the bed.

"Okay, you can sleep here. Shhh. Don't wake Kit." So much for me fondling my lover while he slept. I'd hoped to wake him with a blow job, have sex with him, then cuddle afterward while kissing him before we dozed off. I put Dawson in the middle, between Kit and me, so he wouldn't fall out of bed. He snuggled right up to Kit with his body turned from me. I was left on the side of the bed like a discarded object he no longer wanted. I rose on my elbow and kissed his plump cheek.

"Goodnight. Sweet dreams."

"Sleep, daddy." He raised his arm and pushed me away with his elbow. I sighed with a pained expression and collapsed my head to the pillow, facing the ceiling. When would he show me more affection? I felt elated he liked Kit, but fear gripped me at the thought of Dawson wanting to live with him instead of me.

I played with the curls on Dawson's head once he fell asleep and whispered how much I loved him in his ear. I stretched my arm over his little body and set my hand on Kit's underwear clad hip, then closed my eyes to welcome sleep.

Having gone to bed early, I woke when it was still dark out. Monday had come fast after having had a busy weekend. I hadn't had time to recoup my drive to go back to work yet. Padding to the kitchen in just shorts, I riffled through Kit's cupboards to make something for breakfast. He didn't have anything but the basics, so I checked the fridge. I found an abundance of beer and not much else. I decided to make homemade pancakes. He had the ingredients, but no syrup. I didn't mind eating them plain or with butter and jam, but I couldn't say the same for Dawson, and Peggy wouldn't be up this early for me to borrow syrup. I poured the batter into a hot pan and sipped a can of soda.

Arms snaked around my waist, embracing me, and a kiss was pressed to the back of my neck. I smiled and turned in Kit's arms. He flattened his body to mine and I felt his morning erection.

"Something smells good." He observed the pancakes.

"Mm, something feels good." I snapped my hips to his, my own erection surging with heat. "How did you sleep?"

"Great. I'm totally rested for today. I have to meet with my agent again and with the Fusion team to talk about going overseas for more shows. You should come with me to Europe!"

Dawson and me on a long flight? He wouldn't last and the idea of me taking a vacation, well, I doubt if Ms. Johnson would grant me time off so soon. "When are you going?" I asked out of curiosity. I'd already wrapped my hands around him and now, they covered his ass and grasped the firm roundness of his rear end.

A small, delighted smile curved his lips. "Soon. That's why I have meetings today—to get the details."

"How long will you be gone?"

"A couple of months. I want you to come with me. I'd do my shows and after that we can take tours and have adventures."

"It'll be hard with Dawson."

"We'll buy a stroller or a wagon. He won't have to do much walking."

"But it'll disrupt his schedule; I don't think I want to do that this early with him having just met me. It's a lot of change for him. Besides, you and I wouldn't have fun even if he was ready—our free time would be constrained because we'd be forced to stick to his routine." I sighed, looking into his eyes. "I'm sorry." If I were childless, I'd be overjoyed to go with him, damn work and Ms. Johnson. Fearlessly, I could live off my savings for quite a while and easily find another job. However, I needed a paycheck and a steady job with security because of my son.

"Think about it." Kit wet his lips and leaned forward to kiss me. I had to set him out of my arms for a moment while I turned off the stove and moved the pancakes to a platter. I went right back to him and found comfort in his arms.

"I'm cashing in on your promise to do anything right now. Let's move this to the couch," he suggested with his chin lifted and anchored his hands to my hips.

"How about the spare bedroom? Dawson would be traumatized for life if he wakes and walks in on us." I said low, maintaining eye contact. I watched his eyes darken, enamored with the idea, and led him to the bed. I left the door ajar to hear my son if he called out for me or if he rose and walked around. Too worried of him walking in on us, I asked if I could make this quick with a blow job instead of sex. He agreed with the caveat that I owe him. I knelt at Kit's feet and yanked down his underwear with force due to my hunger to taste him.

"Ooh, I like." He smiled down at me, carding his fingers though my messy hair.

Pumping his cock with my loose grip, he bucked into my fist until he'd swollen with length and girth. I squeezed his dick. He responded with a harsh grunt, and with deliberation, I licked up and down the velvety skin of his shaft.

"Shit. Ahh." He growled from his throat and ordered, "Suck my fuckin' dick. Take it deep."

"Not until I'm ready," I said in a relaxed, deep voice and glanced at him with an amused look in my eyes. The ache in his moan told me he was impatient. I whirled my tongue around and over his slit, then in the opposite direction. He tugged my hair so I was closer, close enough to smell him. Since he hadn't showered yet, his musky scent was all male and made my cock harder. Devotedly, I opened and took his dick as far as possible. I gently gnawed with my lips near the base of his shaft and pulled back with my mouth tightly wrapped around it, then slanted my head and descended on him. His constant vocals and thrusting quickened my pace. I cupped and fondled his nuts while varying the way my tongue pressed against his shaft; constricting and then slackened to keep things fresh and exciting. It was working very well.

"Jesus Christ," Kit's voice came out subdued; he might have awoken my son otherwise. He bowed his hips back and forth until we fell into a common rhythm. I heard his loud breathing, signaling how close he was to cumming. I tasted his dick to keep the flavor of it on my tongue and waited for his climax. He held my head still, my nose almost flattened against his trimmed pubic hair, and pumped out several strands of flavorful cum. I held it in my mouth in order to swallow it all at once after I swished it around to coat my mouth.

Finished, Kit held my shoulders in a vice grip and leaned over my head. His breath hit my neck and cooled it of the perspiration I'd worked up. I pulled off with a mouthful of cum.

"Damn. You make it hotter each time you blow me. I don't know how you do it." He stood up; urging me to rise as well, then he palmed my erection. "You're raring to go," he said and toyed with the elastic on my shorts, nearly wrenching them down before I stopped him with my hands. I pointed to my mouth and his eyes went big.

"Share?"

I wanted to savor it myself, but he ran his hands down my sides and jerked me close. I nodded and dipped my head, my lips to his, and opened my mouth. Using my tongue, I pushed some into his mouth and watched his eyes close dreamily. We sealed our mouths so none would escape and passed his flavorful load back and forth, then it was time for a break of air. We swallowed and smiled at each other, my thirst quenched.

"Thank you." Kit hugged me. "But I want to pleasure you too." He reached into my shorts and boxers and held my dick with flexing fingers. My lashes fluttered before my lids fell closed. He lowered my clothes and felt his mouth on me. God it felt good. I pulsed to life, my body humming and aching for his touch.

That is until the sound of whining, then crying rang out. I tried to force it out of my mind, to tell myself Dawson would go back to sleep. I chanted in my head, prayed, and even bartered with god. None of it worked. My cock diminished in size until it fell out of Kit's mouth and I gave a discouraged growl. "I'm sorry," I apologized, pulling up my clothing.

"There'll be other times." He smiled and got to his feet. "Go on. I'll get plates and forks and bring breakfast to the table.

I tiptoed into the bedroom, hesitant that Dawson would wail for Kit when he saw me. "Hi sweetheart." I smiled and sat on the bed. "Did you sleep well?"

"Where is Kit?" he asked, looking around me to the door.

"Getting breakfast. Are you hungry?"

He nodded and crawled to the edge of the bed. I couldn't help chuckling at the disarray of his curly hair. "Potty first," I reminded him. He slid to the floor with his tummy against the bed, then ran to the bathroom. I held him up so he'd make it into the toilet, then made him wash his hands and his face. He ate breakfast in his pajamas, as did I. Kit threw on a tee shirt and jeans.

I kept watch on the clock. He had to get to Peggy's and I needed to get to work. Today seemed like it would be a long one since I'd been up a couple of hours already.

"Richard," Kit said displeased by the sound of it as he'd used my full name. He'd been silent up until now. I didn't understand why he'd be angry.

I canted my head in wonder and delayed my response while gauging his expression. "Yes?" I asked when I was ready.

Kit stood up and reached into his pocket. He unfolded a piece of paper and looked at it, then let it flitter to the table. I picked it up and read it.

"I was folding the clothing you wore last night to put in your bag and I found that in your pants. So what is it, aside from the obvious?" He took a defensive pose and pinched his lips together so they were barely visible. His eyes glared, giving me a dark look.

"Jordan was the ranger and rappeler Gregg and I had the interview with in Utah." What was he getting at?

Kit glanced at Dawson fondly then at me, hardening his eyes again. "And what does that mean? Why do you have his number, Richard? Is he attractive? Did you hook up? What the hell did he give you his number for?" he demanded and clenched his jaw closed. His forceful whispering made me cringe. I had no reason for feeling guilty, yet I did as if I'd cheated on him. Taking his hand, I told him how Jordan wanted me to go out for dinner with him.

"What the," he yelled, then whispered, "fuck? Where did he get the idea you'd go out with him? What did you do? Was your coworker invited too?"

"No. Gregg wasn't invited." I smiled at Dawson, speaking light and carefree so as not to upset him by our arguing. "Just me, and I didn't go. There's not even a question of me sleeping with someone else. You know I love you," I replied, flattered that he reacted with jealousy at other men coming on to me.

He regarded me a bit and I kept locked in on his eyes until he shrugged, sat in his chair and picked up his fork. As he chewed, he kept his eyes lowered to his plate. "I've been thinking."

"That takes concentration," I teased while wiping Dawson's mouth with a paper towel. "What have you been thinking?"

"About you and Dawson. I think you should move in. I like having you both here. Dawson has room to run around and explore, and the park isn't far. You don't need to live out of that hotel. I'd love for my boyfriend and his son to be in my life."

My heart stalled in my chest. I reduced my breathing to 'slow and even' and took a close look at Kit to ascertain the truth in his sincerity—to see if he'd offered off the top of his head. Had he made a hasty decision or had he thought this through? His expression told me how dumb I was to assume he wasn't serious.

"Well?"

I gulped, smiled, and asked Dawson, "Would you like to live here?"

"Live with Kit!" he beamed and pointed to my lover.

"And your daddy," Kit told him, but I'd already felt rejected by Dawson.

Dawson looked at me with parted lips and nodded. "Daddy too."

Kit and I shared a smile—mine grateful and ecstatic that Dawson included me.

"Yes, daddy too," Kit assured him with a pat on the head.

"Thanks Kit, it's a wonderful proposition." I grinned stupidly. He'd finally made a decision about our relationship and Dawson. It must have taken my absence and Dawson staying with him for him to realize that he wanted us. Lovingly, I added, "I have to jump in the shower if I want to leave on time." I stood up and stepped away to take my plate to the sink.

"Uh, Ricky."

"Hm?"

"What's your answer? Would you move in with me?"

I strode to him, set my plate on the table and brought him to my body. "Yes, I'd love to. We'd love to—Dawson and me." I kissed him, devouring his mouth thoroughly until Dawson said something about wanting a kiss from Kit too. I knew everyone wanted to kiss Kit—and not in an innocent way like Dawson.

"Give your daddy a kiss too," Kit said crouching at my son's chair and gave him a light kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Are you my daddy too?" Dawson held Kit's face in his little hands and looked at him. He began to pet Kit's cheeks when Kit hadn't answered.

Kit appeared wary of how to answer the question. I'd also been shocked by Dawson's inquiry. He finally told my son, after trying to read my face, "I'm your friend. Give your daddy a kiss now."

Dawson stood on the chair and reached for me. He put his arms around my neck and gave me an abrupt kiss on the mouth. I gave him a big hug. On my way to take a shower, I told him he needed to get dressed to go to Peggy's.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
I straightened my tie, or so I thought, until Kit came up to me and fixed it. "Perfect." His eyes lit into mine. "My hot, sexy man." He inhaled my clean scent, placing a smile on my mouth with his lips and kissed me. "I don't know when I'll be home tonight, but you can move in."

"I was thinking this weekend would be good for me." I pinched his waist and he twisted from me with a smirk.

"Stop that, unless you want to be late?"

"I'm leaving," I said to him, pinching him again, and called Dawson. "Are you ready to go to Peggy's?"

He ran to me dragging his duffel bag of clothes I needed to wash from staying the weekend. "Yes. Bye." Dawson waved to Kit.

"Bye monkey. See you." Kit grinned and gave Dawson the OK gesture with his thumb and finger.

Dawson's fingers tangled together when he tried to do it back. I bent down and showed him how by placing his index finger on his thumb. "There you go. You did it," I praised, standing up and opening the door. "I'll be in touch, Kit."

"Love you," he returned.

"Love you!" Dawson screamed to Kit as he ran into the hall.

Kit and I both laughed. "I love you too," I said, blew a kiss to Kit, and wished him a productive day.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
Friday-
Gregg invited me, Kit and Dawson to his home Saturday for an early dinner the same moment Ms. Johnson walked to my desk. I wasn't sure if she'd heard, but when she showed that crafty smile of hers, I knew.

"That sounds very pleasurable." She ran her long fingernail along the top of my desk, the shrill noise of the scrape quivered up my back, sounding like a shoddier rendition of nails on a chalkboard.

Gregg ignored her. He left his desk with a mumble about getting a coffee from the vending machine. I glanced up at my boss and raised my brows innocently.

"Are you having a working dinner?" she asked and licked her teeth to attract me. It didn't work, it annoyed me.

"No. It's a fun get together. He and I are good friends." I dropped my gaze and hoped she'd leave.

She walked around the desk and stood behind me. I felt her breath on my neck when she put her hands on my shoulders and bent down to whisper next to my ear, "I'm free tomorrow if you want to take me as your date." She straightened her posture as I looked over my shoulder at her.

"I don't mix work with pleasure Ms. Johnson, and I have a significant other who's very important to me. Important in mine and my son's life."

"I didn't know you had a son." She opened her mouth as if gasping, but no sound came out.

"I do." I smiled. I knew it wasn't a friendly one. I couldn't work up a pleasant smile for someone that took advantage of their position in the workplace.

"Hmph," the sound came from her closed mouth. She walked away, having suddenly lost the sway of her hips I'd been used to seeing since I started working here.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
Saturday-
Dawson napped as I packed our clothing into suitcases and put them in the trunk of the car. I took all the toddler things I'd bought for him and filled the front seat, as well as some of the backseat. I checked on him when I walked back inside and had to stand before him, grinning and admiring him. His red, pursed lips were wet and his lashes fluttered as he dreamed. I left him sleeping and stepped to the last box. The one I'd been putting off looking into. The one I didn't want to open. The one Ann James gave to me. The contents belonged to Olivia Appel, now handed down to Dawson and me.

I carried the cardboard box and sat on the bed, setting it next to me with my hand hovering over the strip of tape holding it closed. This was stupid. My fears were irrational.

Removing the tape was noisy and I glanced at Dawson to see if he'd stirred. He remained sound asleep. I opened the tabs on the box and reached inside to take out one of several albums and set it in my lap.

My lips quivered after seeing the first page; Olivia in a hospital bed with a huge belly. She hadn't had our son yet. She looked beautiful—radiant—and I saw Dawson's smile in hers. My finger lightly touched the clear plastic film over her face and I silently thanked her once again for giving me a child. The following pictures were of a newborn Dawson wrapped in a blue blanket: his dark hair and little fingers wrapped tight around Olivia's one finger.

Each book was one year of his life. I saw the image of him crawling, sitting up, and his first steps, and felt I hadn't missed a thing in his first three years of life. She'd captured him angry, sad, happy, sleeping, playing and swimming. I was witness to the changes in his height and weight, the different lengths of his hair—along with a sample of it from his first haircut—and the visible expressions and physical signs of how much he loved his mom. There were dozens of pictures of him smiling fondly at her and of them hugging in 'selfies'. They'd visited many places: the zoo, museums, the mall where Dawson sat on Santa's lap as well as the Easter bunny's, picnics in the park and birthday cake smeared all over his highchair and his face.

By the time I put the last album back and closed the tabs on the box, tears were flowing freely down my face. I didn't know Olivia, but I understood Dawson's loss even more now that I'd been given a peek into their lives together.

"Daddy?" Dawson murmured and rolled over and saw me.

I quickly wiped the wetness off my face with the back of my hands and stood up. "I'm here."

Dawson stood up on the bed and pointed to the bathroom. I took him there and held him up so he could go potty. After that, I put Olivia's box in the car and got Dawson ready to go to Kit's to move in. First, he and I were going to purchase a plastic step stool so he could stand at the toilet on his own.
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I sorted our clothing at Kit's apartment. Dawson's went into the spare bedroom where he'd eventually sleep—at least I hoped. Kit had a large closet with enough room for me to hang my suits and dress shirts, and empty drawers in a dresser for my casual clothing. I really couldn't believe my good fortune. I wouldn't have wanted to give Kit up if he chose single life over me and my son because I love him heart and soul.

I heard a sound behind me, someone trying to be sneaky, so I waited. I'm glad I did. Kit's arms surrounded my waist and I felt his body press against me. A sigh of content left my mouth and I covered his hands with mine.

"I love you." I said for the tenth time today. He nuzzled the back of my neck with his warm nose and left a kiss.

"Love you too, Ricky," he answered, voice thick with need.

I turned in his arms, chuckling, and shook my head as I cradled his face. "Not now, sweetheart. We have to be on time, so get changed and I'll take Dawson and get him ready."

"We can be late if we want to." Kit said, turning his face and kissing the palm of my hand. Again, I chuckled low.

"If we had time and Dawson was napping, I'd consider the offer." Looking upward, I smiled. "How about later? After Dawson is asleep for the night. We can claim the living room floor and see the city lights as we're fu-"

"Daddy?" Dawson walked into our bedroom.

"It's a deal." Kit smirked and kissed me on the lips. I turned to Dawson as Kit gathered clothes to wear.

"What is it?" I crouched down. Dawson came to me, a look of uncertainty on his face.

"I want to play with Lisa."

"Not tonight. We're going to visit my friend Gregg. I know you'll like him."

He wrinkled his little nose, turned abruptly and ran out of the room, surely to hide. I'd laid clothes out for myself and put them on, then found Dawson hiding under the dining room table. I coaxed him out and carried him to the bedroom to have him get dressed. He fought a little because he didn't want to go, but eventually let me help him get ready. I let him loose after combing my fingers through his tangles and went in search of Kit. I found him in the bathroom.

"How do I look?" Kit asked me, looking into the mirror while messing with his already perfect hair.

"Beautiful." I answered, then kissed his cheek and met his gaze in the mirror.

"You don't look half bad yourself." Kit winked at me. "Is Dawson ready to go?"

"Mm hm." I replied in the affirmative.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
Dawson took to Gregg's wife, Darlene, right away and he talked to Gregg in his two and three word sentences—being bashful around new people and men.

Darlene had prepared steaks and baked potatoes for the adults and a hot dog on a bun with a side of sweet potato fries for Dawson. He gobbled most of it up before we cut into our steaks and went off to play with the canvas bag of toys Kit had reminded me to bring with us.

Kit chewed a piece of steak while eyeing Gregg. I didn't know why, but then he spoke, "Gregg, was this Jordan guy in Iowa cute?"

"Utah," I corrected him.

Gregg coughed as he was drinking his beer. "Cute?" His wife snickered and Gregg continued, "I guess if you're into that."

Kit shot a look at me. "And he was hitting on Ricky?"

"Ricky?" Gregg asked in a high voice that tested his masculinity. "Ah, yes. Yes, Jordan was persistent, but 'Ricky' thwarted any advances. However, I think he liked the shoulder massage Jordan gave him," he said with a wink thrown my way.

"Gregg," his wife voiced, "don't start anything. Let's have a nice meal."

"He gave you a massage?" Kit's glare bore into me. He clutched his fork so tight that his knuckles were white.

"Uh..." I shrugged. "Yes, but it was nothing." It became clear to me that Kit wanted to know the whole story, which consisted of nothing more than me stepping away from Jordan after he laid his hands on me and tried to give me a massage.

I leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Baby, nothing happened. If you want, you can make me yours tonight. Fuck me until I know my place is with you." I kissed the air by his ear and settled back in my seat.

"I think that'll work, Richard," he replied formally. Sometimes I think he gets jealous and worked up on purpose just so he can dominate me in the bedroom. He really gets off on that. I ate and talked to Darlene to get to know her while Kit and Gregg talked, eventually making jokes about me in good humor. Gregg felt it was his responsibility to relay every encounter I'd had with Ms. Johnson, embellishing the stories, and had Kit nearly falling off his chair from laughing.

We retired to the living room and talked more while watching Dawson play on the floor. He behaved well until we overstayed our welcome, according to his sleep schedule. The time neared 8pm and he began to get cranky. We left, agreeing to do this again soon.

Dawson had fallen asleep in the car on the way to the apartment. I carried him to the spare bedroom and lay him down to take off his coat and shoes. I left him in his clothes because I didn't want to wake him to put his pajamas on. I covered him with the blanket, gave him a kiss and turned, running into Kit.

"Is he still sleeping?" he asked, looking around my body.

"Yes."

"Good." Kit smiled at me, then went to the bed and kissed Dawson on the head. "He looks just like you. He's perfect, isn't he?"

"I'm far from perfect." I smiled at the sound of fondness in Kit's tone.

"I'll be the judge of that." He took my hand and we left the bedroom, keeping the door cracked open. We walked to our bedroom and undressed, but eyeing each other as the layers of clothing came off.

Kit opened a drawer and lubed himself up. I know I looked shocked because he explained, "I'm going to get right to fucking your ass. That bitch, Ms. Johnson, and that asshole, Jordan, have no right to touch you, talk to you, or even look at you. You're mine. You belong to me and after tonight you won't forget it." His eyes flashed and my body trembled in anticipation. Nodding, I waited for my first order.

"Get over here, now."

I hastened my step to him, but I didn't touch him. He wouldn't let me until he said it was okay to do so. An excited breath left my mouth as his fingertips caressed their way down my cheek to my shoulder and continued to my chest and abdomen. I arched, wanting him to touch my cock.

"Not yet." He traced my abdomen muscles and tilted his head as he studied my face.

Finally! He was going to kiss me. I slanted mine the other way and waited with my eyes half closed, watching him near my mouth. His hand swept around me and grasped my ass and his lips crushed mine against my teeth for a moment.

"MINE," he announced firmly, then he swooped in for a longer, much gentler kiss. My arms ached to touch him, but I knew better and kept them rigid at my side. When he had his fill of my mouth, he told me to get on the bed. I expressed disappointment on my face at not being able to touch him. This would be the first time he hadn't allowed me to feel his body before we had sex.

He told me, sympathy in his voice, "I know what you want. I do, and making you wait isn't a punishment. Trust me. Now get on the bed."

"I trust you." I lay on my back and bent my legs, positioning them far apart so he could nestle between them.

"You're fucking handsome," he said and caressed my inner thighs. He played with my entrance with a lubed finger and complimented my body more. He preferred me to speak less than I normally do when he's in charge, so I remained silent, enjoying his attention.

"One more thing before I fuck you." He fixed his gaze on me.

"What?"

"I know you wouldn't cheat on me." He beamed as he moved forward and pressed the head of his cock into me. I hissed and reached for him, but he shook his head and my arms fell to my sides to clutch the blanket beneath me. Kit thrust inch by inch inside until he could easily glide in and out, then came the powerhouse within him. His pace never slowed and he didn't adopt a different technique. He sucked on my neck as he fucked me, and as I whimpered and moaned, my hands itched to run down his back to pull him closer.

A bite to my ear made me gasp.

"Like it?"

"Mm, hmmm..." I hummed and closed my eyes as he did it again. I wiggled under him; the rubbing from his abdomen on my dick was going to be my downfall.

"Settle down," he scolded with a chuckle. "I'll get you there. Hold on." Kit cradled my head in his hands, his head resting against the side of mine. I heard his rapid breathing and quiet grunts as his body slammed into mine. Hitching my breath, I asked, "Can I touch you now?"

"No. Uhh!" Kit cried out with a shudder and came. The friction on my cock increased and I came too, nearly forgetting myself and almost clamped my arms around him to hold him to my body.

"Jesus Christ," he groaned and gave me a sweltering kiss on the lips, leaving me even more breathless. "Now. Now you can touch me."

I grinned and took him in my arms. The feeling overwhelmed me because I'd been denied something I wanted and he finally gave it to me. I captured his lips and kissed them with urgent hunger. Even kissing him had been made more sensual. I rolled on top of him mid-kiss and straddled his body.

"I love you so much, Kit." I said with a squeak in my voice from my emotions.

"I love you." Kit's hand cupped the back of my neck and brought my head back down for more kissing.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
I glanced in the bathroom mirror, seeing fine lines where there were none a couple of years ago and tried to smooth them with my fingertip to no avail. My eyes drifted to my temples and the beginnings of silvery hair. I made myself tear my eyes away from my reflection. Although I'd been told I'd grown more handsome, I felt old. Ancient. I buttoned my suit coat and straightened my tie. I appeared ready for the big day, but I felt ripped apart inside, ready to break down in tears. This was a happy day; a defining moment I'd remember forever. Knocking brought me out of my musing.

"Are you ready yet? I need to piss before we go." Kit opened the door and stuck his head in. "Jesus, look at you! I could eat you alive."

"Better than eating me dead," I teased. "You look damn good in your suit too, sweetheart."

"Here, let me." He raised his hands and fixed my tie, staring into my eyes the whole time. "This day is another of many firsts."

Nodding, I took his hands from my tie and kissed his knuckles one by one. "Thanks for sticking with Dawson and me the past two years. I don't know what I'd have done without you. I love you so much, Kit."

"I love you too. Is it weird that I feel like crying?" he said with tears in his eyes. He lunged for a hug and pressed the side of his head to my chest.

"God, I thought I was the only one." I laughed, petting his hair. He could fix it in a minute. I kissed him and backed him into the bedroom where I had him sit on the edge of the bed with his slacks and underwear pulled down to his ankles. I went down on his erection with excessive drive. He held onto the edge of the mattress, lifting his ass off the bed to thrust into my mouth. After he came, I slapped his thigh and told him to get ready or we'd be late. He muttered some smart ass comment about me making us late as he bent over and pulled up his pants.
∞∞∞∞∞∞
I'd been in this particular building almost every day for the past year, but today it intimidated me and I held Kit's hand in mine to draw strength from him. It wasn't helping. Nothing could prepare me for this. My stomach was a ball of nerves and I had the shakes. Glancing at Kit, I witnessed his somber expression as if he were being led to the gallows.

I opened the front door for him. "Ready or not."

"Not." He chuckled, not a speck of humor coming through. "I know it'll be okay, but I'm scared which is stupid as fuck."

"Shhh." I laughed. "You can't say that in here," I said as we strolled to the door at the end of the hallway, smelling glue and bleach along the way. "I'm so nervous I feel like throwing up."

"Ugh." Kit smacked his lips while making a disgusted face. "I don't welcome seeing what you ate again. Once was enough."

"I like eggs with ketchup," I told him and stopped outside the door, looking in. People sat in chairs facing a wooden podium. "This is it." The pulse on my neck throbbed.

Kit pulled me inside, sensing I couldn't move my feet; they'd felt buried in cement. I don't know why I was frightened. Everyone told me this was a piece of cake, but looking around at the decorations and chattering people, I knew it was a big deal, and not only for Kit and me.

We took our seats in the reserved row for parents of graduating kindergarteners. Kit produced a leaflet with the graduation events. The kids would sing a song, awards would be handed out to students and then their official looking 'graduation' papers. The principal would finish off with her congratulations and well wishes for first grade. I turned and scanned the bleachers behind me. I hitched my breath and waved at Kane and Wil. They both grinned and waved back. Kit and I had invited our guests back to the apartment after the ceremony for cake and to open gifts. They were visiting for the weekend, then heading back to L.A. on Sunday. I also saw Gregg and his wife enter and take seats on the bottom row of the bleachers. I gave them a nod and a smile. Peggy and Lisa look proud too.

I took my lover's hand and whispered to him about our guests. He turned and waved too, then saw his model friends in the back row and yelled, "Hey guys!"

I ducked my head and shook it, but I lifted my gaze when I heard a bunch of little footsteps walking across the gym floor. The kindergarten girls mimicked princesses wearing dresses and bows and fancy shoes and the boys looked like small gentlemen in Oxford shirts and dress pants, but I knew otherwise. They were only five and mischievous, sometimes naughty, little people.

"There's Dawson." Kit poked me several times.

My breath caught at the sight of my five year old son. He was smiling, walking behind a girl with a pink ribbon wrapped around her waist and tied in the back. He held the trailing ends of the ribbon like he was pretending she was a horse and he was leading her with reigns. I snickered as he lifted them and brought them down as if to say 'go faster'. The teacher caught him and walked beside him to keep him in line. I watched him drop the ends and then look toward the audience. Kit and I raised our hands high to get his attention, along with every other proud parent waving at their child. To our good fortune, he saw us and screamed, "Daddies!" He took a step to run to us, but remembered his place. He kept his gaze on us and instinctively followed the line of children to the area behind the podium. The kids sat in rows on the floor with their legs crisscrossed. Kit and I grinned at each other, anxiety fleeing our bodies.

Instead of taking professional pictures myself, Gregg volunteered so I wouldn't miss a thing. He was off to the side, standing among other parents with cameras, and took at least a few dozen.

When the principal called out Dawson's name, which I'd changed to Dawson Appel-Parker, he stood up with a grin and sashayed to the podium. Suspicious, I glanced at Kit. He was nodding and smiling proudly. It was then I knew he'd taught Dawson how to strut like a model.

"Look," Kit whispered to me and clapped when Dawson held up the stiff paper with an official looking seal stating he'd graduated. I whistled and clapped louder than anyone else.

Back at our apartment, Dawson changed into shorts and a tee shirt and joined the party. He hung out with Lisa because she kept him amused. Kit and I made drinks and appetizers and entertained in the kitchen until it was time to cut the cake. Dawson stood next to the cake as we broke out in song, "For he's a jolly good fellow..."

"Presents first, then cake!" Dawson announced.

"Okay." I laughed and allowed him to rip open gifts. I handed out square pieces of cake and Kit refilled our guest's glasses.

We were tired by the time our guests left. Dawson went right to bed. Kit and I cleaned the dining room and kitchen, then we fell into bed—too tired to do anything but kiss each other goodnight.
fb--rainbows of summer
It hadn't taken long for Dawson to get used to me; few months at best. We were best buddies and he'd even fussed at times when I had to drop him off at Peggy's—he wanted to come to work with me. I'd let him a few times. I couldn't remember the days before he came into my life. He made my life richer with his presence and unconditional love.

True love between partners is made up of compromise, trust, compassion, and understanding. Kit and I grew and learned from each other. He proposed to me and we eloped just last year with Dawson witnessing our ceremony that included our own wedding vows. We honeymooned in Greece and our hotel was perched atop the Caldera cliffs. The time we spent together those two weeks were simply beautiful and inspiring. On a side note, we took Lisa along to babysit Dawson because neither Kit nor I wanted to leave him out on one of the most important times of our lives.

The two loves of my life kept me young and happy. Dawson taught me so much; patience and forgiveness and how to look in wonder at the world around me through his eyes. And Kit...? He walked into my life and made me realize why it never worked with anyone else. He is my happily ever after.

*Thank you readers for supporting me in my writing.