Guilty Pleasures

Amy and Daniel were in good spirits, laughing and talking about their day as we ate dinner. I mentioned we were going to the comedy club later. Wil was busy chatting with the boys.

"Have you seen the show?" I asked.

"No." Daniel shook his head while he cut his desert, a slice of strawberry shortcake. "Amy and I aren't fans of the way jokes are written these days. They're raunchy and offensive."

"That's true. Cursing, racist and pedophile jokes abound in that arena and they make it seem all right to mention those unmentionable topics." I agreed and was now aware that I was in the category of 'old people' when it comes to new things. "But I'm still looking forward to it. It should be interesting." After all, theories about incongruous humor suggest it is funny and releases tension when one laughs.

"Should be." Amy added with a warm motherly smile. "We're going to a cabaret show."

"That sounds fun." I still wished we were going to the tribute to Judy Garland show, but I had the rest of the cruise to see it.

Daniel and Amy concentrated on finishing dinner after that. They had to get dressed up for the show. I ate and listened to Wil speak.

"I hope you guys will sit with us. We'll have so much fun."

Kit replied, leaning forward when I glanced at him, "Of course. It's our job to explain the jokes to you." He grinned at me.

Instead of looking away or rolling my eyes, I smirked. "No, I think we'll be the ones having to explain them to you. These aren't innocent kid jokes, these are grown-up ones. In fact," I said, nudging Wil, "I wonder if you're old enough to get in. The comedian will certainly be explicit. I wouldn't want you to go back home corrupted by dirty language and humor."

Dirk snorted and Kit showed me his bold and unashamed smile. I gazed at his lips and felt a tingle in my groin at the memory of Wil and I in the shower and the way I'd pictured Kit in his little bikini with his package all nice and tightly packed away.

I quickly looked down, picked up my spoon, and ate the pudding cake dessert that was set next to my plate. There was a part of Kit I disliked, yet there was something intriguing about him. I couldn't place it though.

I could still feel his eyes on me. I usually wasn't an anxious person, but I felt my foot tapping as I rushed to finish eating so I could leave.

"Excuse us for parting early," Daniel said and stood up after wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"Have a wonderful time," I said and watched him help Amy out of the chair.

"Thank you, dear," she said to me and looked up lovingly to her husband. "Shall we?"

He took her hand and nodded at the four of us before we all said goodbye.

Wil and the two kids took their time eating dessert, so I listened in instead of joining the conversation because I didn't want to be the target of their teasing.

"I'm gonna be in a porn flick," Dirk bragged to Kit, whose eyes nearly bugged out.

"No, you're not," Kit argued.

"Yes I am. I got an offer. I talked to them before we left Manhattan. They expressed interest in you too. We can do one together."

"I'm not lowering myself to porn, Dirk, and neither are you. It's fun to watch, but I'm not going to do it on camera for other people to watch," Kit countered angrily.

Wil and I were amused and entertained by the argument. He'd looked at me with a smile and a wink and I smiled right back.

"Kit, remember the videos we made at home? That was fun. You enjoyed that."

"Yeah, but that was for us—our own home movies."

I could see Kit pouting. He'd pushed his plate away and now had his elbows on the table.

Dirk on the other hand, had a playful, naughty look on his face that even I didn't want to be on the receiving end of. My stomach tightened, knowing what was coming next just because I could read people.

Kit's face reminded me of Rudolph's red nose. He stalled and stammered when he sensed Dirk had done something with their personal movies, "Y-You didn't ... tell me you didn't sell th-those to a porn studio." A defeated sigh came from him.

"No, but I uploaded one of our scenes on Twinktube. They saw it there and a director contacted me."

The three of us watched Kit clasp his hands and pucker his forehead in worry. "You're kidding, right?"

"No," Dirk replied in a smug voice. "We have great bodies. We rank right up there with those fake porn videos and our sex is hotter because it's real."

I would be horrified if I was Kit, and suddenly his slack expression went pale. He appeared devastated and hung his head.

My man spoke up, defending Kit, "How could you do that, Dirk?"

In an upbeat tone and pushing his shoulders back proudly, Dirk responded, "Easy, I just uploaded it. It had over a hundred thousand hits within the first few days. I bet the video has gone viral by now." He smiled as if that was a good thing and bounced in his seat excitedly.

I shook my head and put my hand on Kit's shoulder. "I'm sorry," I told him. He didn't react at all. He was still as stone and all I heard was controlled breathing from him. I'm sure it took all his concentration to stay calm.

Wil gave a noisy gasp at Dirk's misinterpreted answer to his question. "I meant, how can you do that to Kit without asking him first?"

Dirk glanced at his boyfriend and saw that he wasn't taking this well. "I thought he wouldn't mind. Kit? Are you mad at me? The video is a hit!" He shook Kit's shoulder to show him how great this news was.

"My mom and dad are gonna kill me when they find out." Kit mumbled, running his fingers across his forehead to smooth out the creases. I saw his lower lip tremble.

"Can I speak to you privately?" I asked Kit and whispered to Wil, "You talk to dipshit while I'm gone."

"Will do." Wil agreed.

Kit didn't say anything, he just pushed his chair back and stood up. I took him by the elbow and led him into the atrium. I wasn't sure where to go, so I took him to the Blue Iguana where I ordered him and I a beer. Thank goodness he wasn't checked for I.D.

He leaned into my shoulder and whispered, "You know I'm underage, right?"

"Yes, but you look like you need a drink." I stated, drinking the bitter, golden liquid. "I'm sure you've had a beer before."

"Yeah." Kit's voice was low and sad.

I sucked in my bottom lip. What could I say to cheer him up? "Again, I'm sorry for what he did to you."

His eyes shot to mine as he wrapped his fingers around the cold brown bottle. "Why? It's not your fault that fucking asshole put up our sex tape."

"I'm sympathizing with you. I didn't say I was involved." I sounded like an idiot. I don't know why I couldn't talk to him as an intelligent adult right now.

I watched his full lips pucker to the mouth of the bottle as he took a drink, then he placed the bottle on the bar. Why did I bring him here? Why can't I think?

"So, is that all you wanted to say? You could have told me this at the table."

"I wanted to get you away from the situation. I sensed you needed it."

"I can handle myself. Dirk will get a piece of my mind in our room."

"You can demand he take the video down." I suggested.

"That won't help me. It's already been seen by thousands. What's a few thousand more?" he scoffed with sarcasm.

I didn't have an answer for him. I felt about as helpful as a matchstick in hell.

"Anyway, thanks for the beer."

"Anytime." I nodded as he hoisted himself up. "Will I see you and Dirk later at the show?"

"Yeah, we're supposed to meet you and Wil outside the door." Kit's voice was subdued and his expression blank, then he lifted his eyes to my face. He gazed at me for a bit before he patted me on the back and walked away.

I finished my beer and went to the cabin. Wil would figure I went there since I hadn't gone back to the dining room. I waited, lying on the bed, for him to come.

Moments later he entered, whistling. I sat up and took note of his strange attitude. "What happened? What did Dirk say?"

"It appears he thought Kit would be happy about it."

"That's ridiculous." I stood up and crossed the small room to him. "He didn't think, or rather he only thinks of himself. I wonder what he got out of this."

"He gets off on it. He's one of those people that think society is being deprived of his image, in this case, his sexual techniques and performance. He has an ego the size of Texas. What about you? Was Kit upset?"

"Very." I rubbed my neck. "I would be too if I were him. It was reckless and callous of Dirk go behind his back like he did." I watched Wil reach into his pocket and take out a piece of gum. He unwrapped it, popped it into his mouth, and chewed it noisily. I winced with the knowledge there would be a rippling sensation up my spine anytime now by the sound of his repulsive habit.

"We have some time before the show, why don't you check out the ship?" I wanted him to leave me in peace. I can't stand that snapping and popping noise from his gum.

"Maybe I'll go to the library. I heard it's nice." Wil smacked his lips and briskly rubbed his hands together. He pecked me on the cheek and left. Alone at last!
⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫

I didn't change, but I did wet my hair and run a comb through it. It would settle perfectly once it dried. That was just one thing I admired about myself. My hair was no fuss and easy to control. I also prided myself on my flat abdomen.

Wil used to say he loved my smile and my sexy body, but I haven't heard those words in quite a while. I wouldn't dare talk to him about it either. I didn't want compliments if I had to ask for them. I sat on the bed and read a book I'd brought along.

Later, I checked the time and decided I had to go on a 'Wil hunt' as he wasn't back yet and the show began in less than a half hour. I left the room and walked to the library on the second floor in the atrium.

I opened the glass doors to a quiet room painted tan with dark blue carpeting. There were shelves and shelves of books and current magazines. To my right were rows of computers for guests to use. Internet wasn't free; there was a sign on the wall reading it costs fifty dollars an hour to use it.

I spied Wil hunched over, his face near the monitor. I crept up behind him, placed my arms around his chest, and planted my chin on his shoulder, looking at what he was watching all in one swift motion.

He jumped and closed the webpage, but not before I'd seen what he'd been doing.

"Wil!" I whispered loudly in his ear. "How could you?"

He turned his head and looked at me. "This isn't illegal. They're of age."

"But-" I looked him in the eye. This was one of those times arguing would be futile and childish. "Fine, watch then."

"Are you sure? I don't want you sulking the whole night." He chuckled, but I took offense and removed myself from his body. I didn't want to touch him or talk to him.

He typed the link and hit enter. There was a picture of a bed with a white comforter. The room was lit brightly, and other than the bed I could only see a dresser and the transparent triangle with the word 'play' in the center.

He moved the cursor over the word play and clicked. I inhaled, ready for the ride that I knew was unethical and inappropriate. I should have looked elsewhere in the library, but once Dirk came into view, naked and smiling as he adjusted the camera, my heart skipped a beat and I couldn't tear my eyes away.

Wil put the headphones on to get the full effect. I watched Dirk's mouth move and soon after, Kit came into the room, naked as well. I ducked my head after seeing his smooth, hard body, ashamed that I was witness to their private party.

I felt Wil tapping my leg. I looked up and he was pointing to the screen. Kit was on the bed and Dirk was worshiping his body, licking and tasting him all over. When he got to Kit's sex, he took it in his mouth while his hands reached under and grasped his ass.

Unblinking, I became mesmerized by Kit's face. The expressions he wore made my body hum. Unknowingly, I shuffled closer to get a better look when Dirk flipped Kit over and attacked his ass, spreading his cheeks and diving in with his tongue poked out between his lips.

"Oh my God." I heard Wil's sexually charged whisper.

I yanked off his headphones and knelt next to him to watch, glancing around us to make sure we were alone and had privacy.

It was much better with sound. Kit's breathing and husky voice begging for Dirk's cock hit me in the gut and hardened my cock. I watched Dirk rim Kit hungrily while Kit rocked back and forth on his hands and knees. He tossed his head back and uttered a broken sentence that when deciphered came down to the fact he wanted to be fucked hard and long. I wanted to see that too.

My mind chanted, 'fuck him, fuck that sweet ass', as I watched Dirk spank Kit's ass once, leaving a mark. Kit's moan of desire caused my dick to twitch, leaking precum in my briefs. Adrenaline flooded my body when Dirk entered him, mostly from the way Kit's back arched and the erotic sounds coming from his pretty mouth. How I longed to cover that mouth with my own. I could almost picture myself in the scene with him.

Wil stole the headphones and I was deprived of Kit's voice, but it didn't matter, it was branded on my mind. My body flushed with heat and I rubbed the front of my jeans when Kit came. He'd pumped his dick faster and faster until his release burst forth and then he milked it until it was spend. At this point I didn't give a damn what Dirk was doing. Kit's sweaty, glowing face was all that mattered to me. He turned to the camera and gave an award-winning smile then he said something that I could read off his lips, 'I love you, Dirk,' and that brought me back to reality.

I rose and adjusted my myself, relieved that my hard on was in agreement with my head—that what I'd just watched was something I shouldn't have. If I had any respect for the boys, I really should have walked away. I'd seen how humiliated Kit was when Dirk told him he'd put the sex scene up on the Internet and here I was, feeding into the frenzy of porn with two boys I knew! I'd added another tick to the rising numbers of views.

I tapped Wil on the shoulder. He slid the padded ear part of the headphones to the side without taking his eyes off the boys.

"I'm going to the comedy club to wait for the others." My eyes lowered to his lap. I saw he had an erection.

"Why? Let's finish this. Dirk hasn't cum yet."

He was mesmerized. The images on the screen were captured on his glowing eyes. I couldn't believe he had the audacity to want to watch to the end of the video. "Turn it off. This is wrong. Kit is really hurt and watching it is dishonest."

"I won't tell if you don't." Wil's brows rose up and down suggestively.

"I can't promise that."

He spun around in the chair. "You're going to tell them after what you just said about it hurting Kit? You're two faced."

I had enough of him and said so. "You do what you want. I'm meeting them and I will have a good time. If the topic of their video comes up," I pointed to the screen, Dirk was still going at it, "I won't lie to them."

He made a disgruntled sound, threw the headphones on the desk, and turned off the computer. "Fine, let's go. Let's do what you want."

His sarcasm wasn't lost on me. "We don't always do what I want, Wil. This is what's wrong with us. We have two differing opinions on what actually goes on in our relationship." I looked to the computer and asked, "What's with the fascination with them anyway?"

"I don't have one. How dare you accuse me of being captivated by a couple of kids half our age."

He could lie all he wanted, but I knew the truth because I caught him red handed with his fingers in the cookie jar.

He continued, "Don't forget, you watched too. I didn't force you."

"This topic is closed for discussion." I stated firmly and cut my hands through the air to emphasize I meant business. "I'm done talking about it."

"That's your solution? You want to ignore it, forget about it, pretend it never happened. That's the problem with you. You never want to talk so we stay in this dark, doomed place and hate each other."

Wil began to walk away, but I pulled him towards me and fought back, "This is not all my doing. It takes two to argue."

His body stiffened and he raised his chin, looking down at me. "I'm giving more than my fair share, more than fifty percent in this relationship."

Where was he coming from? I was genuinely shocked by what he'd said. Then it came to me. "Wil, are you mad at me because you're attracted to Dirk and Kit? Are you putting the blame on me because you feel guilty?"

"No." He creased his forehead. "What are you on about? This isn't about me, don't turn this around."

"I apologize. I just don't understand where your anger is stemming from."

He brought his hands up and rubbed his face. "Why do you always do that?"

"Do what?"

"You apologize for everything. It's intended to put a guilt trip on me."

My hand cupped the right side of his face. "I wouldn't do that to you. I don't want to argue anymore. Can we kiss and make up."

Wil tilted his head. His eyes softened the longer he laid eyes on me. "Yes, of course."

I closed my eyes and felt his soft lips cover mine. It took me back to the time when we'd kiss each other good morning, goodbye and goodnight. We were always kissing. I couldn't enjoy this moment because I was missing the old us. I pulled away, chuckled nervously and told him we had to go.