Guilty Pleasures

I was the chosen one to talk to Kit to see what was wrong and it was the time to fulfil the promise I'd made to Dirk. I walked the hall in a slow gait, trying to stall the inevitable and to rack my brain about what I'd say to him. The last time I saw him he was crying as he sprinted away from me, hurt by my rejection.

I was already at the room despite trying to delay my arrival. I straightened my shirt and fixed my shorts before I rapped on the white wooden door. I didn't hear a thing and thought he was either sleeping or not here, but suddenly the door opened and there he was: disheveled hair, dark circles under his half-lidded eyes, wearing shorts and a wrinkled tee shirt that he must have slept in.

"Hi, can I come in?" I asked, trying to smile, but his appearance warranted concern, not cheer.

He gave me a halfhearted shrug and turned away. "What do you want?"

I stepped into the room and closed the door, covered my mouth with a fist and coughed. He turned confrontationally to me with his hands on his lean hips. I approved of the tight shorts he wore revealing the long length of his legs covered in light hair.

"Ahem."

My eyes shot up to his face. "I'm concerned about you. Why haven't you been off the ship?"

"Didn't want to." He spoke in a monotone voice and looked away. "I didn't feel well. I got some bug or something."

"Dirk missed you a lot."

He lifted his hand, palm up. "So what." He slumped on the bed and let out a wry laugh.

I drew my brows close together. How could I get through to him? "May I sit next to you?"

He replied bleakly in a quiet voice, "Better not."

I bobbed my head. I must have really messed with him. "I apologize."

"For what?" He spat angrily. At least he was showing me emotion. Dirk received none.

"The other day... I shouldn't have been so harsh with you."

"That shit's already forgotten. No skin off my teeth."

I didn't mind being the brunt of his anger; I deserved it. I wanted to speak again, but he lifted his shirt and took it off. I held my breath. He tossed it on the floor and looked up at me. After seeing my expression, a naughty smile spread across his face and I knew that he knew.

He knew I wanted him, plain and simple. Dammit, he knew.

I stepped back. "I-I'm with Wil."

"I know." He licked his lips and brushed his hand down his chest in the attempt to seduce me.

"Look, Kit, Dirk is really troubled. Talk to him. Don't cut him out of your life just because one kiss occurred between you and me."

"It was more than one kiss, Ricky." His voice was in singsong and very cute. He rubbed his pectorals as if they needed massaging. My eyes were glued to them, watching his tanned fingers caress his smooth skin. My fingers itched to do the same.

I deliberately forced my muscles to relax and pretended to be unaware of his ability to entice me.

"Okay, so it was, but we still have nearly a week left on this cruise. I didn't mean to come between you and your boyfriend. Now, I have to get back to Wil. I really hope to see you out and about tomorrow."

"I will be. Count on it." He grinned, deriving pleasure at the discomfort I was in. That told me he was up to something.

"Good." I took a last look at him: no shirt, tight shorts and long legs. Holy shit!

"Like what you see?" He had a smile in his voice.

I didn't reply, but I told him I'd see him around and then I left. Outside the door, I gasped for breath from the sultry atmosphere in his room. It had smelled of him, every square inch. I heard him singing then. I don't know what song it was as I only listen to music from the decade when I was a teenager, but this tune was upbeat.

I found Dirk where I'd left him. He was standing at the rail. His face lit up when I approached.

"What did he say?" He practically bounced up and down on his feet.

"He said he's feeling better now and that he'd do something tomorrow."

He beamed like I'd just awarded him ten million dollars. "Thanks man," he yelled as he took off to his room.
⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫

"Do you love me," I asked Wil while he was down on me in our queen-sized bed. He raised his head, but continued to stroke and finger me.

"Of course. Why would you question that?"

"No reason." I put my hand on top of his head and pushed down. He commenced sucking me. "I was just wondering. We've been together for eight years. Do you think we'll get married someday?" I felt his head start to come up, but I held it down. "And if not, where are we going from here? Do you ever think of our future? I do, all the time."

I let his head up so he could voice his opinion. "Richard, I do love you and I do think of marriage. What's stopping us? We should do it."

"What?" I rose my head up off the pillow too look at him. "You're just saying that because I mentioned marriage."

"We've talked about it in the past. We're mature men. We should get married."

"What about our problems and shit?" I asked. "They won't heal on their own."

"We're working on them. I feel better about us, don't you? I've had so much fun with you this past week."

"Me too." I smiled down on him. "Now get back to work."

"Tyrant." Wil chuckled as he went back to sucking and preparing me with two, wet fingers wriggling inside of me.

This time when he entered me, I kept my eyes on his face so I wouldn't close my eyes and let my mind wander to Kit. Making love was slow and easy and it felt right. Wil really was my partner and I didn't know what I'd do without him.

"I kissed Kit." I blurted and hitched my breath when he thrust deeply.

"What?" His movement stopped. I was so full of dick right now with his groin pushing against my ass.

"I kissed him. It was an accident." I cradled his face, my eyes shimmering from the tears in them. I had to confess even if it hurt him because I didn't want secrets between us.

"Okay." Wil began to pull out, then he pushed back in. "Are you going to do it again?"

"No." I wiped my eyes. "I'm sorry."

He kissed me on the nose. "Don't worry. People make mistakes."

My arms wrapped around his neck and I brought him in for a kiss. We were wrapped up in one another after that. I managed to flip over and told him to fuck me from behind and to cum in my ass.

His passion grew with every dirty, nasty word I said. He scraped his nails down my back and clutched my hips to propel me onto his dick before he took his turn and flexed his hips, driving himself into me.

Later, we lay sweaty on the bed taking labored breaths, too tired to get up and shower. My head was on his shoulder and his arm was beneath me cupping my body close. I traced a circle around his nipple.

"Was that as fun as ziplining," I smiled to myself.

"You can't compare the two. Both are different sensations, but making love with you is always enjoyable." Wil kissed the top of my head and rubbed my arm. "I certainly wouldn't trade you for that sport."

"I'm glad because that sport can't get you off the way I can." I laughed, my chest vibrating against the side of his body.

"Mmm, nope it can't." He yawned loudly without covering his mouth. "I could sleep for a week."

"Get some rest. I'm beat too." I kissed him on the cheek and moved off his arm. He usually removed it because it would become numb from me lying on it. I rolled over, pushed my ass against his hip while I brought the covers up to my waist and fell in a deep, dreamless sleep with him.

⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫⩫

I needed to be away from Kit. I had to tame my infatuation with him, so the following two days on the ship I made sure it was just Wil and I. We frequented the bars and had two expensive dinners at two different restaurants instead of going to the free meals in the ship's dining room.

I told Wil that Dirk and Kit needed time alone and that we could continue to work on us. To tell the truth, I was quite bored being alone with him, even in a roomful of people whether we were having drinks, dancing or swimming in one of the other pools.

Yet, my stomach quivered every time I thought about Kit and how he kissed and the way he looked with only those short shorts on. Why hadn't the teens looked that way when I was in high school?

"I just want to relax today. No walking around, touring the ship, or shopping." Wil told me the next day as we walked to the large pool. I had my green swimming trunks on and he wore blue ones.

"Did you put on sunscreen?"

"Yes. I even have the bottle with me to reapply it. See?" I shook it back and forth at him, sloshing the white cream inside. He made some kind of satisfied noise.

It was crowded outside. People were everywhere doing their own thing. Laughter rang out from all sides. It was a cheery afternoon.

Wil tossed me his towel and dove into the deep end of the pool while I stood on the edge looking for a chair to lay our towels on. Part of my reason for looking was to see if the boys were here. I wanted to avoid one in particular.

I peered into the water and saw Wil come up on the other side. He waved with a grin, dove under again to come back, and hung onto the side when he reached me. "Come in."

"I'm waiting for a chair." I brushed the hair off my forehead. The cool blue water looked so inviting on this ninety-five degree day.

"Leave them. We can get more. Come on in," he stated before he swam away. I grimaced, watching him bump into someone. They both came to the surface laughing. He initiated a conversation with the woman who pointed to two teens, one male and one female. Wil pointed to me and I waved, receiving a wave back from the woman.

Cold arms wrapped around my waist and a cold chin rested on my shoulder.

"Whatchya waitin' for?" Pruney hands pushed me forward and I fell, flailing, into the pool holding the lotion and towels. The same person dove in after me and grabbed my ankle.

I broke through the surface of the water and spun around to scold one of the boys. Kit popped up, choking and laughing at the same time.

"I got you!" Kit laughed loudly.

"Yeah, you got the towels too." I wrung them out and set them poolside along with the bottle. "You think you're funny, don't you?"

"I think I'm adorable."

I couldn't help but smile. "I'm glad to see you're back to your jovial self."

He stepped close to me, his voice was low and seductive, "I am, thanks to you."

"Me? I didn't do anything." I nervously glanced at Wil, but he was engaged in talking with the woman. "Where is Dirk?"

"In the hot tub and don't change the subject." Kit touched my chest with a finger and dragged it down until he reached my trunks. "You, Mister Parker, are one hot babe."

"Don't." I shook my head and casually looked around to see if Wil or anyone else was watching. They'd think I was some perverted old man because of our age difference.

"You did help me whether you want to acknowledge it or not. I know how you feel about me."

I pursed my lips to the side and wished I'd brought my sunglasses to hide behind. "We talked about this and you know what I said."

"I'd rather concentrate on what you didn't say, Ricky."

"Don't call me that." Now I sounded like a child being obstinate to a parent.

"Okay, sunshine." Kit snickered and went under.

I felt his hand on my thigh and graze across it before he swam away. I walked to where Wil stood and he introduced me to Carly, a single mother of two teenagers. She was on the cruise to search for love. She'd had a few dates, but none of them panned out.

"By the way, my daughter was wondering who the boy is that you were talking to. She'd seen him earlier today with his friend." She looked right at me.

"His name is Kit. He's an underwear model from New York." I explained.

"Underwear, huh?" She smirked. "I wonder if the underwear he models has more material than that little bikini thing he's got on."

Wil and I laughed when we glanced at each other. We'd thought the same thing when we saw them for the first time in the whirlpool.

"There she goes." Carly pointed to a tall girl with long dark hair in a braid. She wore a red and blue plaid bikini that showed off her shapely legs and breasts.

"How old is she," I asked, watching her approach Kit who was dripping wet and sitting at a table with a cold drink. The look of drowned rat didn't come close to describing him. He was gorgeous—glistening in the sun, tanned, and nearly naked. His hair appeared darker than usual due to being damp.

"Seventeen, but she's very mature for her age. Look, she's going for it."

"Ohhh..." I bit my tongue. Her daughter would find out soon enough that she wasn't Kit's type.

The three of us watched her talking to him, nervously doing things with her fingers such as adjusting her suit and playing with her braid. She sat down with Kit and they began a conversation. I shrugged.

"Good for her," Carly beamed, her blonde dyed hair caught the sun. "I'm so proud that she went up to him on her own. Usually she has her brother go as an in between."

"Gives her good practice," Wil smiled knowingly at me. "I'm going to go back to swimming. I need some exercise." He left me with Carly.

"So is Kit nice?"

"Oh yeah. He's very likable for a model. He isn't pretentious or anything."

"I hope he asks her to dinner."

"Kit is here with someone. He's not single. I probably should have said something before."

"That's too bad." Carly stated and was ready to intercept her daughter and Kit.

"Leave her. They can be friends." I told her, watching Kit speak animatedly while the daughter got more comfortable and began letting her eyes drift over his body. Either Kit didn't care or he didn't notice. When I turned to Carly, she'd gone.

A cannonball went off next to me, splashing others and me. Up came Dirk with a shit-eating grin. "Got ya!"

"Yes you did." I smiled and wiped my eyes of chlorinated water.

"Thanks man, for the other night. Kit is back to himself."

"No problem. You would have worked it out amongst yourselves." I said positively.

"I don't know, but I owe ya." He said and pecked me on the cheek. I was taken aback and the first person my head whipped to was Kit. Not Wil as it should have.

Kit was squinting at Dirk and he didn't look happy. He turned back to Carly's daughter and said something, then he rose and walked our way. He sat on the edge of the pool and dangled his legs in the water. "Dirk, what was that?" Although he was addressing his boyfriend, he was staring at me with jealousy.

"I thanked him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Don't be jealous. I won't leave you. Richard and Wil are old and will probably be dead in a few years." He laughed, thinking Kit would join in. Instead, Kit eased himself into the water and swam to the other side of the pool. Facing away from us, he crossed his arms and rested them on the edge of the pool, then put his chin on top of them.

"What's wrong with him now? I'm getting sick of his shit." Dirk pouted.

"Relax." I put a hand on his shoulder.

"He's jealous. He's never been jealous before."

Kit was jealous, not because his boyfriend kissed another guy, but that it was me he'd kissed. Apparently, Kit didn't want to share me.

I swam to Kit and stood next to him. "Hey, it was a friendly kiss. Let it go."

He was quiet, maybe thinking, so made a suggestion. "We should talk again."

"Talking is overrated, Ricky, I mean sunshine." He glanced at me then at some people at the Tiki Bar. He shifted and lowered a hand in the water while still hanging on to the edge with the other.

"I know you love Dirk. I'm a distraction for you."

"Are you?" His tone was teasing.

"Regardless, we—"

"I have a confession," he interrupted, "I can't stop wanting you. That's why I didn't go to Hawaii. I thought my feelings would go away if I distanced myself, but they only increased in your absence. I'm going to break up with Dirk."

My face went pale. I could feel the blood drain from my head. "No." I whispered.

"Yes. I don't love him anymore."

"You can't just fall out of love with him."

"I did. I want someone mature and who knows what he wants. Someone like you."

A finger slid across the front of my trunks. I gasped and took a small step back before I grabbed his wrist and brought it out of the water.

"I can't be with you, Kit. We can't have a future. I have a responsibility to Wil and I'm going to fulfill it by giving my all."

"Remember he told Dirk and I about the problems you and he have?" Kit cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. "Be realistic, do you really think you can overcome that much shit? It's been piled up for so long. You're both fooling yourselves if you think you can salvage that fucked up mess."

Kit was right, but I wouldn't admit it. "We still love each other, we have that going for us and we are working on our 'fucked up mess' as you so eloquently you put it."

Kit stared, just stared at me for a full minute. Seeing that he wasn't going to get anywhere with me, he asked, "What do you do for a living again? Take pictures?"

I almost laughed at the sudden change of subject. "Yes, I'm a photographer and have published my photos in books. I also work for a nature magazine. You may be interested in it, there's not much reading in those kinds of publications."

"Ha-Ha." He snickered.

"What about you? What's your plan after modeling?"

"I told you, I want to go to college. Anyway, why haven't you taken my picture?"

"Want me to?" I said, then hesitated. If I took pictures of him, I'd lust over them and I don't think Wil would appreciate that.

"Yes! Go get your camera." He splashed me with water to shoo me away.

"Okay." I shrugged, rationalizing that I'd take equal pictures of Wil, Dirk, Kit and a bunch of the ship. The lighting in the atrium was gorgeous and the candy store with its giant gumballs would make an amusing picture.