Through Thick and Thin

April 1998

“So, what exactly is going on between you and Zack?” Layla asked from her position sprawled out on my bed, we were getting ready to go over to the DiBenedetto's for the twins big birthday bash, which was even bigger and more extravagant than usual because their parents had decided to spring on them that once summer came, they were moving to northern California. This was their sad attempt at making up for it.

“What?” I looked over my shoulder at her as I tossed yet another thing I didn't want to wear onto the floor. “There's nothing going on between me and Zack, what even makes you think that there is?”

“Uhm, because you've been pretty much avoiding him? Jade said you two are all... weird in Chem. What the hell happened Quinn?”

I sighed, tossing a pair of my jeans turned shorts onto the bed beside her. “At Jace's party, we almost kissed and Jimmy had been finding us in odd position's all day that day.” Layla just raised her eyebrows at me as if saying; Oh, really now?

“Zack had stayed over my place the night before the party, to this day I don't even know why he'd come over, I'd beat him up with my bat, which is why he had the bruise on his ribs.” I explained.

“Jimmy came over in the morning and found us in bed together.”

“That's nothing new with us though.” Layla laughed, tossing a shirt I had thrown onto the bed back at me.

“Yeah exactly, but Zack said something about being rough, and Jimmy's mind went STRAIGHT into the gutter, and then when we were at the store Zack was being a goof with the laser guns and was doing a `stick up' kinda thing, and he was leaning against me, and que Jimmy once again.” I rolled my eyes, “Then, when we were playing hide and seek at Jace's party, Zack and I were hiding against the house, and he was just so close, and his lips were so taunting, and we were moving closer together and…”

“Que Jimmy again?” She laughed.

“Pretty. Fucking. Much!” I shook my head. “Layla, I can't be with Zack… it's weird, he's my best friend, you're not supposed to cross that line!”

“Babe, all it takes is one kiss to cross the line between friendship and love, and sometimes that line is really meant to be crossed, you'll never know unless you take the chance.”
I sighed heavily and turned back to my closet. “I'm too scared.” I whispered, finally finding the skin tight black pants with little skeletal white hands on the back pockets that I had been looking for.

“Why?” Layla asked, pulling her shirt over her head and stealing one of mine off of the floor.

“Because if shit goes wrong. I lose my best friend.” I sighed, as I pulled my shirt over my head, keeping my back to her as I put on the Bathing suit top I was using at a t-shirt and tying it securely around my neck before pulling on my leather vest over it, zipping it properly so that all you could see was the crochet halter of the bathing suit top.

“If you lose Zack as a friend, then he never really was a good one to begin with. Jesus you look hot, I thought we were going to Val's not a biker babe club!”

I flushed, fastening a studded bracelet cuff around my right wrist and looked into the mirror. “Is it too much?”

“No. You look fine.” Layla assured me as I pulled on my ankle boots.

I sighed, nodding my head, I didn't even bother with make-up I just ran my brush through my hair, letting it fall over my shoulders, as I picked up a thin gray sweater off of the floor. “Ready?”

Layla paused to look herself over in the mirror one more time before she nodded and grabbed her messenger bag slinging it over her shoulder and we left the apartment, heading towards Val and Michelle's on foot.

By the time we got there the music was already blaring and there were dozens of kids there, poplar's and non, some of them eyed us oddly as we jogged up the pathway, others just shrugged and went back to dancing and having fun.

“Let's go find the others!” Layla called out over the music, I nodded in agreement, letting her take my hand and pull me through the house. We found them all on the back patio. Brian was dancing with Michelle, a drink in his hand. Just the site of the two of them together had me confused, they didn't typically get along. Layla tensed up slightly beside me, eying the dancing pair before turning her attention to Jade who was sitting down nursing her own drink talking to Jimmy who was dancing like an idiot in front of her while they chatted. Matt and Val were talking to one another in hushed whispers all close and cuddly. I made a face and focused on the three of my friends who weren'tbeing all gross with the birthday girls.

“How much has he had to drink?” Layla asked, looking over her shoulder at Brian.

“A few?” Jade shrugged her shoulders and leaned back in her chair, crossing her legs in front of her.

“Right, well. I need a drink, you guys want anything?” Layla asked as she began walking backwards into the house.

“Yeah!” Jimmy held his hands up in the air before grabbing a hold of my hands and making me dance with him.

Layla laughed and walked off to get us all drink, while Jimmy and I swayed back and forth to the music; Jade had gotten up from her seat to join us. I was sandwiched between her and Jimmy, eyes closed swaying to the music, my body squished between theirs as I tried to forget about Zack and the awkward almost kiss. This was proven impossible when I opened my eyes and he was leaning against the wall a drink in hand, talking to Layla and watching us as we danced.
I separated from my friends and fanned myself with my hands, moving to grab one of the drinks off of the table, downing half of it in one gulp.

“Hey!” I looked up, to see a semi-smiling Val in front of me.

“Hey! Happy Birthday!” I cheered, wrapping her in a hug.

“Thanks, it's not so happy though.” She frowned.

“Valary. Cheer up, live in the now. Party, have fun there are so many freakin' people here!” I threw my hands in the air before downing the rest of my drink. “Make tonight about you girly. Fuck the world!”

She laughed, and nodded her head. “Seems like Michi's got her mind set elsewhere huh?”
I looked over to where I'd last seen Val's twin, she currently had her arms snaked around Brian's neck, and their bodies were practically melted together, as they danced. I made a face. “Ew…”

Val burst out laughing. “I know right? I'm gonna go inside. See ya, thank you for coming.”
I nodded my head, watching as she disappeared into the house, I couldn't see Matt anywhere, I figured he was inside too. Shaking my head I picked up another of the drinks and rolled my neck, closing my eyes, moving to the music that was blaring, letting myself get lost in the beat. I felt someone come up behind me, placing their hands on my exposed hips, moving me along to the music with them. I just kept my eyes closed and moved to the music, one hand holding my hair up off of my neck while the other held my drink. More kids gradually showed up and pretty soon the back patio was packed with people. I still hadn't turned to see my dancing partner, nor could I spot anyone I particularly cared about in my general area. I'd notice Michelle and Brian disappear into the house not too long ago, I really don't think I wanted to know where it was exactly they were going in the house. I'd unzipped my vest due to the heat, and my partner had one hand resting on my exposed belly, while the other stayed on my hip.

“You're really quiet tonight.” My dancing partner whispered against my ear as we were pushed closer together by those moving around us.

His voice caused shivers to run down my spine, the exact boy I had been trying to forget about was the one pressed firmly against my back.

“I'm having fun.” I replied, closing my eyes trying to keep my movements to the same pace I'd been
going. “and thinking about things.” I admitted with a sigh.

“Like what?” He questioned, keeping his lips against my ear so that I could hear him.

“Honestly?” I turned for the first time since we'd started dancing together to face, him one arm going instinctively around his neck, my cup had long been dropped and discarded on the floor; His hands moved to both rest on my hips.

“Of course.” He looked at me confused, cocking his head to the side and reaching up to brush my hair out of my face.

“Us.” I mumbled, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth and looking away from him.

“What about us?” He asked, bringing a hand to my face forcing me to look at him.

“Zack. Jace's party… what was that?” I asked with a sigh, dropping arms from his shoulders and closing my vest around me.

Zack sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “Quinn. I… don't know. It just,felt right.”
I looked away from him again, yelping when someone shoved into me and I was propelled forward and into his arms. He held me tight, holding me up and steadying me, refusing to let go.

“You're one of my best friends, this is just wrong. Best friends aren't supposed to like each other.” I whined, looking up at him.

His lips quirked up into a small smile, and he brought a hand to my cheek, running his thumb along my jaw line. “But sometimes they do, and that's where the best relationships come from.”

“Zack…” I sighed, silenced by his lips as he pressed them to mine. I felt myself giving in, responding to the kiss, one hand going up to wrap around his neck, holding him in place.
When we pulled away, I kept my eyes closed, resting my head on his shoulder. “We shouldn't have done that…”

“It felt right.” He whispered again, resting his head on top of mine.

“It… Zack… we shouldn't have done that.” I pulled away from him, looking up into his entrancing green eyes. “I love you too much as a friend to lose you. I can't lose you.” I closed my eyes for a moment, before looking at him again, he seemed confused and hurt and my heart hurt at knowing I was the reason for those emotions swirling in his eyes. “Please Zack, don't make me have to do this. I need my best friend.”

He smiled ever so slightly; I could still see the hurt in his eyes despite the slight upturn of his lips. “You can't get rid of me that easily Quinn, I'll always be your best friend.”

“Thank you.” I whispered, smiling against his chest as he pulled me into a hug. “I'm going to go find Layla okay?” He nodded his head and released me, with one last look over my shoulder at him I disappeared inside the house to find Layla.

I found her sitting on top of the counter beer bottle in hand talking animatedly to someone I didn't recognize. Jade was dancing in the living room, standing on top of the coffee table much to those around hers amusement. Jimmy; well… I don't know what he was doing exactly, I tilted my head to the side, eying him oddly as he continued to lean against the wall while standing on his head talking to… was that a dog? Shaking my head I left him there, he was having fun, who was I to judge him?

“Hi-ya Quinn!” Layla called happily when she saw me, waving to the girl she had been talking to as she walked away.

“Hey, how much have you had to drink?” I laughed as she tossed her empty bottle into the already over flowing garbage can.

“A few.” She shrugged her shoulders, sliding off of the counter and stumbling into me a bit; I placed my hands on her shoulders to steady her. “How'd things go with you and Zacky? I saw you too all close and cuddly dancing outside before I came in here.”

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I leaned against the counter. “We kissed.”

The girls blue eyes lit up happily. “Oooh! You did? How was it! What happened?! Tell me!”

I laughed lightly. “We did, it was… amazing.” I found myself admitting. “But I told him No Lay, I can't deal with a relationship right now, I can't risk losing Zack if it doesn't work out, he's my best friend.” Her face fell and she jutted out her bottom lip. “You are too of course, but… I don't know.” I sighed heavily, slumping against the counter.

“Awe, Quinn.” She whined, pulling me into a hug. “What'd he say?”

“He said he'd always be my best friend, I couldn't get rid of him that easily.” My lips quirked up into a small smile. “Speaking of best friends. Where's the rest of ours? I haven't seen Brian or Matt in hours.”

She pulled away from me and frowned, tilting her head up to stare at the ceiling as she pointed.

“Matt and Val went up a little while ago. Brian and Michelle have been up there for an hour.” She made a disgusted face. “I think I agree with Jade now, I don't understand why we put up with them anymore.”

I raised an eyebrow at her; where the hell did that suddenly come from.

“We won't have too for much longer!” Jade cooed happily, materializing out of nowhere; seriously where did she come from, she was just dancing on the damn table.

“Right, they're moving.” Layla nodded. “Good Riddance!” She scowled at the stairs as Brian and Michelle descended them, it was no denying what they'd been up too. Matt and Val were a few steps behind them, both looking a bit upset and sad; Val looked like she'd been crying.

The house was practically empty now, only a few people lingering around drinking or stuffing their faces with food. Zack was standing beside a now upright Jimmy talking quietly with the taller man.

“Hey you guys ready to head out?” Matt asked, coming up to us minus the twins, they were talking to one another in a different corner of the room.

“Yeah, but not ready to head home.” I clarified, “Let's go to the beach?”

“Sure, why not.” Jade shrugged, Layla nodded in agreement.

“I'll go check with the guys.” I whispered, squeezing past Matt and moving to Jimmy and Zack. “Hey!”

They both turned to look at me, Jimmy with a wide lazy smile and Zack with a small upturn of his lips.

I sighed. “We're gonna head to the beach. Are you guys coming?”

“Hell yeaaah, let's party some more!” Jimmy cheered happily, grabbing onto my arms and twisting and turning with me in a weird little dance.

I laughed, moving my hips with his. “Good to know. You coming Zack?” I asked once Jimmy ceased our sporadic movements instead using me as his own personal leaning post.

“Sure, why the hell not.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Why the hell not what?” Brian asked coming up to our group with a bottle in his hand sipping at it.

“We're going to the beach.” Jimmy grinned, “You coming?”

Brian brought his beer bottle to his lips, pausing to nod his head in confirmation before taking a swig of the drink. “Sure.”

We all gathered to say good bye to the twins, hugging them and telling them we'd see them at school, Val and Matt's hug was a bit tense, but she relaxed when he placed his lips on her forehead whispering something softly into her hair, I watched as she nodded and hugged him back before he turned to re-join us.

We all walked in silence towards the beach, pausing when Jimmy and Brian ducked into a convenience store to either attempt to buy or steal even more beer than we'd all already consumed.
We all gathered around one of the few fire pits that littered this part of the beach, Matt and Zack found some twigs and dead grasses and palm leaves and Brian got the fire going.

I sighed, resting my head on my knees a cool bottle settled in the sand beside me, watching the flames flicker in the cool night air.

The comfortable silence that had fallen over us was broken by Matt who finally spoke up. “Let's make a resolution.” He declared, staring down at his beer bottle.

“I'll drink to that!” Layla cheered holding hers in the air.

“Let's always stay friends…” Matt smiled softly, looking around our group.

“Friendship is thicker than blood.” I stated holding up my own bottle.

“That Depends…” Jade trailed off, looking across the flames at Matt.

“Depends on trust.” Brian declared, looking to Layla, who huffed lightly.

“Depends on true devotion!” Jimmy said happily, throwing his arms over Brian and Zack's shoulders with a grin.

“Depends on love…” I added with a nod, sharing a glance with Layla.

“Depends on not denying emotion.” Zack said, his eyes locked on me.

“Through Thick and Thin, Friends until the end!” Matt declared raising his bottle into the air, we all mimicked him, repeating the last bit, before downing the rest of our drinks.

“Until the end!”