I'm Just a Teenage Dirtbag, Baby
Four
“Will, can we talk seriously for one minute?” I ask on the walk home from school a week later. “I would talk to Sara but I couldn’t find her before we needed to get on the train and this is one of those things you need to talk about face to face.”
He looks at me curiously and stops walking, grabbing my arm loosely and pulling me to a stop with him. “What is it?”
I glance around to see if there’s anyone to overhear; the perks of living in a farm town.
“I know this might freak you out a little but I cannot talk to my mom about this and Caroline is still too young-”
“What is it, Charlie?” Will demands.
“I-I’m late…” I drag on, not looking him in the eyes.
“Late for what? We didn’t have anything going on today, did-”
“My period, Will, my period is late,” I whisper-yell, yanking his arm as I drag him in the direction of my house.
“Adam didn’t…” “I don’t remember. Most of that night is still foggy to me, but clearly not if this is going on.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Call Jeff and have him get a test. Before my parents get home.”
He sighs and pulls out his phone, calling Jeff and giving him a cursory summary of what I explained to him, telling him to get a pregnancy test. We keep walking and once Will hangs up, he walks closer to me and puts an arm around my shoulders, hugging me close.
-
Jeff gets to my house about twenty minutes later with Sara who’s holding a brown paper bag which she hands off to me, guiding me to the bathroom.
I walk out after, and see Jeff and Will looking at me anxiously. “We have to wait five minutes,” I say simply, rereading the directions on the box.
They huff and Jeff starts pacing and soon, Will follows suit.
Those five minutes seemed to be the longest of my life, and I spend them trying to think of how being a teen mom would work. I would have to tell my parents eventually and God knows what they would do to Adam once they knew who the father was. I don’t know what Adam would do at all, even after knowing him so long, sometimes I can’t predict just how he’ll react to a situation.
I’m barely eighteen, Adam only seventeen until October. Adam will be trying to make it to the NHL in a few years. What will happen then? What if he has to move to the other side of the continent?
I’m snapped out of my daze when the timer on my phone goes off. Will and Jeff stop midstride and stare at me as I go into the bathroom and see exactly what I feared, a plus sign on the pregnancy test.
The tears go on full force after that and I start to break down, blubbering about how I’m not ready to be a teen mom and to raise a baby without a father. The two boys immediately come to my rescue, Will hugging me to his side and Jeff stroking my hair and shushing my sobs.
Then, my parents make a loud entrance home. We all panic, Sara clearing anything to do with the test from the bathroom counter and then helping me clean up my tear stained face. Will and Jeff rush out to stall my parents from seeing anything.
Sara gives me a passing once over, nodding, and then gives me a serious look, “You’re okay.”
It’s not a question.
-
Once I say hi to my parents and sister, I merely continue in saying I’m not hungry and ask if I can go over to Will’s house.
My parents look at me sympathetically since Adam’s gone and I can’t go over to his house like I normally would- not that I would want to right now even if he was home.
Instead of going to Will’s, I take a side trip to the park about a mile and a half from my house. I wander around the playground, not even trying to climb on it since the last time I tried, two years ago, Adam and I had gotten stuck in the tunnel for a half an hour, then go down to the soccer field which doubles as an outdoor skating rink in the winter.
I will away the tears threatening to overcome me at all the memories of the four of us as kids when we would come down here and skate around on the rink, and instead call Will to meet me down here. I would call Jeff if he lived in Cornwall but he lives in the city and it would take too long for him to get here and then to get back home.
“Charlie…are you okay?” Will says into the phone cautiously once he picks up.
“Y-yeah, can you just meet me at the park?”
He agrees, saying he’ll be here in ten minutes and we hang up. The sun is just barely starting to set, so I use that as my guide to the benches on the side of the field instead of the lamps surrounding the perimeter of the grass.
“Are you okay? Why did you seem so shaken up on the phone?” I keep the tears at bay, trying to take a steady breath before answering, “I’m not ready for any of this, Will! I mean, Adam’s going to be a plane ride away once the summer’s over and he’s drafted and I am in no way prepared to be a single teen mom in nine months! Adam doesn’t even know any of this is going on.” Will sighs and takes a seat on the bench next to me, “He’s coming back right after the draft for a week to take his tests. The draft is Saturday so he’ll be home, in Cornwall, in less than a week, next Monday. You’ve got to tell him then.”
I feel one tear roll down my face and I swipe it away furiously. “How do you think he’s going to react? What if he hates me for this after?” I ask, the worst possible scenarios all running through my head at once.
“He’s not going to hate you, Charlie, stop freaking out. Sure, he’s going to be surprised at it and he might be confused at first, but you’re his best friend, and now you’re carrying his baby.”
I nod, trying to calm down and breathe normally, but the worst possible reactions and repercussions of the drunken mistake Adam and I made keep me from doing so.
“You’ll be fine, Charlie, even if Adam leaves you, you’ve still got me and Jeff and Sara behind you no matter what, okay?” I smile for the first time in days and nod.
He looks at me curiously and stops walking, grabbing my arm loosely and pulling me to a stop with him. “What is it?”
I glance around to see if there’s anyone to overhear; the perks of living in a farm town.
“I know this might freak you out a little but I cannot talk to my mom about this and Caroline is still too young-”
“What is it, Charlie?” Will demands.
“I-I’m late…” I drag on, not looking him in the eyes.
“Late for what? We didn’t have anything going on today, did-”
“My period, Will, my period is late,” I whisper-yell, yanking his arm as I drag him in the direction of my house.
“Adam didn’t…” “I don’t remember. Most of that night is still foggy to me, but clearly not if this is going on.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Call Jeff and have him get a test. Before my parents get home.”
He sighs and pulls out his phone, calling Jeff and giving him a cursory summary of what I explained to him, telling him to get a pregnancy test. We keep walking and once Will hangs up, he walks closer to me and puts an arm around my shoulders, hugging me close.
-
Jeff gets to my house about twenty minutes later with Sara who’s holding a brown paper bag which she hands off to me, guiding me to the bathroom.
I walk out after, and see Jeff and Will looking at me anxiously. “We have to wait five minutes,” I say simply, rereading the directions on the box.
They huff and Jeff starts pacing and soon, Will follows suit.
Those five minutes seemed to be the longest of my life, and I spend them trying to think of how being a teen mom would work. I would have to tell my parents eventually and God knows what they would do to Adam once they knew who the father was. I don’t know what Adam would do at all, even after knowing him so long, sometimes I can’t predict just how he’ll react to a situation.
I’m barely eighteen, Adam only seventeen until October. Adam will be trying to make it to the NHL in a few years. What will happen then? What if he has to move to the other side of the continent?
I’m snapped out of my daze when the timer on my phone goes off. Will and Jeff stop midstride and stare at me as I go into the bathroom and see exactly what I feared, a plus sign on the pregnancy test.
The tears go on full force after that and I start to break down, blubbering about how I’m not ready to be a teen mom and to raise a baby without a father. The two boys immediately come to my rescue, Will hugging me to his side and Jeff stroking my hair and shushing my sobs.
Then, my parents make a loud entrance home. We all panic, Sara clearing anything to do with the test from the bathroom counter and then helping me clean up my tear stained face. Will and Jeff rush out to stall my parents from seeing anything.
Sara gives me a passing once over, nodding, and then gives me a serious look, “You’re okay.”
It’s not a question.
-
Once I say hi to my parents and sister, I merely continue in saying I’m not hungry and ask if I can go over to Will’s house.
My parents look at me sympathetically since Adam’s gone and I can’t go over to his house like I normally would- not that I would want to right now even if he was home.
Instead of going to Will’s, I take a side trip to the park about a mile and a half from my house. I wander around the playground, not even trying to climb on it since the last time I tried, two years ago, Adam and I had gotten stuck in the tunnel for a half an hour, then go down to the soccer field which doubles as an outdoor skating rink in the winter.
I will away the tears threatening to overcome me at all the memories of the four of us as kids when we would come down here and skate around on the rink, and instead call Will to meet me down here. I would call Jeff if he lived in Cornwall but he lives in the city and it would take too long for him to get here and then to get back home.
“Charlie…are you okay?” Will says into the phone cautiously once he picks up.
“Y-yeah, can you just meet me at the park?”
He agrees, saying he’ll be here in ten minutes and we hang up. The sun is just barely starting to set, so I use that as my guide to the benches on the side of the field instead of the lamps surrounding the perimeter of the grass.
“Are you okay? Why did you seem so shaken up on the phone?” I keep the tears at bay, trying to take a steady breath before answering, “I’m not ready for any of this, Will! I mean, Adam’s going to be a plane ride away once the summer’s over and he’s drafted and I am in no way prepared to be a single teen mom in nine months! Adam doesn’t even know any of this is going on.” Will sighs and takes a seat on the bench next to me, “He’s coming back right after the draft for a week to take his tests. The draft is Saturday so he’ll be home, in Cornwall, in less than a week, next Monday. You’ve got to tell him then.”
I feel one tear roll down my face and I swipe it away furiously. “How do you think he’s going to react? What if he hates me for this after?” I ask, the worst possible scenarios all running through my head at once.
“He’s not going to hate you, Charlie, stop freaking out. Sure, he’s going to be surprised at it and he might be confused at first, but you’re his best friend, and now you’re carrying his baby.”
I nod, trying to calm down and breathe normally, but the worst possible reactions and repercussions of the drunken mistake Adam and I made keep me from doing so.
“You’ll be fine, Charlie, even if Adam leaves you, you’ve still got me and Jeff and Sara behind you no matter what, okay?” I smile for the first time in days and nod.