Why to Be Afraid of Tomorrow
Part 10
Again. I wasn’t at school whole week. I wanted to break the habit of taking drugs. Believe me, I really tried to but unsuccessfully. It’s too hard for me. Throughout I was so much depressed without the dose. Rapid breathing, insomnia, chills, throwing up, pain, amnesia, just, could you imagine it? It’s the worst feeling I’ve ever had, like, really. I realized how bad I behaved when I talked to David and Danny. I’m sorry about that.
Okay, today I’m coming to school after a week. On the hallway everybody’s staring at me, it’s too bad. Maybe my sunken cheeks make them frightened but I can’t do anything about it. The whole week I didn’t almost eat at all.
I’m sitting next to Dan. “Hi.” I greeted like first and held my belly. I’m so tense. “Hey, dude. What’s up? I’m glad to see you after a week.” He said before smiling. “Hey, Danny. I wanna apologize to you for my bad behavior.” I said in a bad temper. He looked confused as I said it. “Come on, it’s alright, Pierre. Let it be, hmm? So, we’re friends again?” He asked and smiled. “Okay. Thanks.” I gave him a weak smile. He looked happy but deep inside he was still mad at me that I spoil my life with those shits, I think.
David came to the classroom a while ago so I’m ready to apologize. I’m shivering and sweating. “Davie?” I asked and tensed. David turned briskly and looked up at me. It made me nervous. His smile disappeared from his face. “Hi, what’s going on?” He asked silently and somewhat ablush. “I want to apologize for how I behaved that day, how I yelled at you. I’m sorry, David.” I said, still holding my belly. He hesitated for a while before saying: “Sure, that’s okay.” He answered and looked down. “Davie, I’m really sorry.” I said a bit more persuasively. “I know, that’s alright, really.” He smiled weakly. After a short silence I spoke: “David, I tried to break the bad drug habit, but I couldn’t. I’m all alone. Nobody stands by me. I can’t do it alone. I need at least one person who would believe me, support me and give courage and strength.” There was a silence again. “I need your trust.” I said and looked sadly. I was still tensed and depressed. “Do you think you'll get out of it?” He asked and looked into my eyes. “Yes, but only with your help.” I held my belly again before I wiped my sweaty forehead. I have damp hair clinging on my skin because of my sweating. He was having second thoughts but after a while he answered: “Okay, I believe you. You can do it.” He said, patted me on my shoulder and smiled heartily. I gave him a smile, too. I’m so glad. “Thank you.” I thanked before his speech. “Hey so it means, whenever you need somebody to talk to I’m here for you. I’ll always be a listening ear or a helping hand, okay? You’re not alone in this. You’re important to me, yes?” I was touched. Nobody ever told me anything beautiful like this. My eyes filled with tears. “Do you want a hug?” He asked. “Yes, please.” I said and hugged him tightly. “You can do it, Pierre.” I don’t know what made him change his mind but now I’m SURE I can do it.
This day I went for a dose again but I told to myself that it’s the last! I don’t wanna spoil my life with these shits. For somebody it may seem to be simple to break the addiction but people who have never had an addiction don't understand how hard it can be.
You know when you’re struggling with drug addiction, sobriety can seem like an impossible goal. But recovery is never out of reach, no matter how hopeless your situation seems. Change is possible with the right treatment and support. I learnt to not give up even if I tried and failed before. The road to recovery often involves bumps, pitfalls, and setbacks. But by examining the problem and thinking about change, you’re already on your way.
You know, for many people struggling with addiction, the biggest and toughest step toward recovery is the very first one: deciding to make a change. A drug addict cannot overcome addiction overnight. Being ready to let go of addiction means being ready for a complete change in life.
I’m standing in front of the mirror only with boxers, looking at my reflection. I’m examining all the impacts I have on my physical and mental states. I’m experiencing significant weight loss. I’m finding out I’ve got deteriorated physical coordination. I’m shivering and again, my head is spinning. Now I know that until now I was really moody and I’m experiencing many personality changes. “Why do I feel the need to use drugs?” I asked myself. In this moment I have to find something positive in my life. “David, mama, I’m gonna do it for you.” I told firmly to the reflection.
Leaving a drug addiction behind can be very difficult emotionally, as feelings you may have controlled with drugs come to the surface.
Okay, today I’m coming to school after a week. On the hallway everybody’s staring at me, it’s too bad. Maybe my sunken cheeks make them frightened but I can’t do anything about it. The whole week I didn’t almost eat at all.
I’m sitting next to Dan. “Hi.” I greeted like first and held my belly. I’m so tense. “Hey, dude. What’s up? I’m glad to see you after a week.” He said before smiling. “Hey, Danny. I wanna apologize to you for my bad behavior.” I said in a bad temper. He looked confused as I said it. “Come on, it’s alright, Pierre. Let it be, hmm? So, we’re friends again?” He asked and smiled. “Okay. Thanks.” I gave him a weak smile. He looked happy but deep inside he was still mad at me that I spoil my life with those shits, I think.
David came to the classroom a while ago so I’m ready to apologize. I’m shivering and sweating. “Davie?” I asked and tensed. David turned briskly and looked up at me. It made me nervous. His smile disappeared from his face. “Hi, what’s going on?” He asked silently and somewhat ablush. “I want to apologize for how I behaved that day, how I yelled at you. I’m sorry, David.” I said, still holding my belly. He hesitated for a while before saying: “Sure, that’s okay.” He answered and looked down. “Davie, I’m really sorry.” I said a bit more persuasively. “I know, that’s alright, really.” He smiled weakly. After a short silence I spoke: “David, I tried to break the bad drug habit, but I couldn’t. I’m all alone. Nobody stands by me. I can’t do it alone. I need at least one person who would believe me, support me and give courage and strength.” There was a silence again. “I need your trust.” I said and looked sadly. I was still tensed and depressed. “Do you think you'll get out of it?” He asked and looked into my eyes. “Yes, but only with your help.” I held my belly again before I wiped my sweaty forehead. I have damp hair clinging on my skin because of my sweating. He was having second thoughts but after a while he answered: “Okay, I believe you. You can do it.” He said, patted me on my shoulder and smiled heartily. I gave him a smile, too. I’m so glad. “Thank you.” I thanked before his speech. “Hey so it means, whenever you need somebody to talk to I’m here for you. I’ll always be a listening ear or a helping hand, okay? You’re not alone in this. You’re important to me, yes?” I was touched. Nobody ever told me anything beautiful like this. My eyes filled with tears. “Do you want a hug?” He asked. “Yes, please.” I said and hugged him tightly. “You can do it, Pierre.” I don’t know what made him change his mind but now I’m SURE I can do it.
This day I went for a dose again but I told to myself that it’s the last! I don’t wanna spoil my life with these shits. For somebody it may seem to be simple to break the addiction but people who have never had an addiction don't understand how hard it can be.
You know when you’re struggling with drug addiction, sobriety can seem like an impossible goal. But recovery is never out of reach, no matter how hopeless your situation seems. Change is possible with the right treatment and support. I learnt to not give up even if I tried and failed before. The road to recovery often involves bumps, pitfalls, and setbacks. But by examining the problem and thinking about change, you’re already on your way.
You know, for many people struggling with addiction, the biggest and toughest step toward recovery is the very first one: deciding to make a change. A drug addict cannot overcome addiction overnight. Being ready to let go of addiction means being ready for a complete change in life.
I’m standing in front of the mirror only with boxers, looking at my reflection. I’m examining all the impacts I have on my physical and mental states. I’m experiencing significant weight loss. I’m finding out I’ve got deteriorated physical coordination. I’m shivering and again, my head is spinning. Now I know that until now I was really moody and I’m experiencing many personality changes. “Why do I feel the need to use drugs?” I asked myself. In this moment I have to find something positive in my life. “David, mama, I’m gonna do it for you.” I told firmly to the reflection.
Leaving a drug addiction behind can be very difficult emotionally, as feelings you may have controlled with drugs come to the surface.