Why to Be Afraid of Tomorrow
Part 2
*Knock, knock* I knocked before coming in to the classroom. “Good morning, Mrs. DuPont. I’m sorry I’m late, I… overslept…” As I said it she looked at me with unbelief. I couldn’t look in one place even not into her eyes. “These kinds of embarrassing excuses you can keep for yourself, Pierre! Don't stare and sit down!” She continued while I was sitting and preparing my school stuffs. “Tomorrow, you’ll bring me a note! And if not, I'll tell your father. We all know that this is not the first time you ‘overslept’.” “I’m sorry, madam.” I told her and opened my Math book.
“You didn’t oversleep, right?” Danny asked after the bell rang. “No.” I snapped and wanted to get away from the schoolroom. But Daniel pulled me back by my long sleeve. “Buddy, tell me about it. What happened?” He asked. He probably knew what was going on. I sighed. “Long sleeves again? And don’t try to wriggle out of it, excuses like ‘there’s cold outside’ are already out because I won’t believe you, ok?” I hesitated. I waited till everyone was out of class and then started talking. “Father came home after three in the morning … drunken … he smashed almost everything he had at hand.” I talked with tears in my eyes. “He had even you at hand evidently, or not? Did he hurt you?” I was in two minds if I have to say it or not. “No, he did nothing to me.” I sounded unconvincingly. “Come on, don’t lie. Hm? If he didn't do anything, you wouldn't behave like that. And to wear T-shirt with long sleeves in 80 degrees is strange, don’t you think?” I was upset and pulled my sleeve up. I uncovered my arm full of bruises and weals. “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s not funny, Pierre. Tell me when your dad comes home sober one day. It’s horrible!” As he finished I pulled my sleeve down to nobody notice my bruised arms. “Let it be. Don’t deal with it.” I didn’t want him to talk about it. “What am I dealing with? Hey, buddy, this it horrid. I won’t let it be. We have to stop it.” “But I just won’t-“ “Pierre, come on. I don’t want him to do it. He hurts you all the time and you still didn’t tell me why.” I sighed. “Just, since the day my mummy passed away everything is wrong. Since the day he boozes. According to him, I'm just not his son because I'm gay.” I burst into tears. “Come on, dude.” Daniel pulled me into a tight embrace. “Do you know now why I'm afraid of coming home? I don’t wanna feel the pain again.” I cried a lot while Danny was rocking with me from side to side. “Pierre, you know, I’m here for you. If something happened, you can come to me and I will try to help you, okay?” I smiled weakly with my eyes shut. “I’m glad I’ve got so great friend. Thank you.” Only friend, but great friend. This is it. No one else wants to talk to me, I don’t know why. Maybe it’s even my mistake because I cannot make contact with anybody. It’s my big disadvantage. “Don’t cry, hmm?” He patted me on my shoulder before he began talking again: “Let’s go to the biology lesson, okay?” “Sure.” I smiled. You know, it’s great to have friend like he is. I can always cry on his shoulder. He always hears me out, he advices me, he gives me courage, just, friend as he should be.
This lesson we have free time so I’m spending my time by drawing. I’m sitting at my desk and looking out of the window to draw the nature. I’m sitting alone now because this lesson we are separated with Daniel. As I’m drawing the details of some treetops David’s approaching to me and sitting. “Am I disturbing you?” I boggled. “Oh, no.” I swallowed thickly. “I scared you?” “A bit, I was thinking. “Oh, I’m sorry, I can go away, if you want.” He offered. “No, no! Stay here.” I reacted almost immediately. He only gave a smile. “Okay, what are you doing here alone?” I was looking into his eyes and I was totally lost. I didn't notice he talked to me. “Pierre?” He asked again but with no response. “Pierre.” He waved his hand in front of my eyes. I woke up from my daydreaming and shook my head. “Yeah? I’m sorry, what did you say?” I was abashed. “What are you doing?” He repeated his question. “I’m… am… drawing.” “Oh, really? Can I look at it?” I was just staring and didn’t answer. It took me some time than he got my reply. Okay, he didn’t get it. “Pierre, are you okay?” He asked and grinned. “Oh … sorry, I’m sorry … I’m drawing.” He lifted the corners of his lips more than before. “Okay, I know IT. You’re drawing I know but I was asking something else.” He said and started laughing. “Really? You asked for what?” I was really confused. “If I could look at it. To look at your drawing.” “Yes, yes, of course. Here you are.” I replied finally and gave him my drawing. His eyes widened before he said: “Oh my god. It’s amazing. Wow, really wonderful. Where did you learn to draw so amazingly?” I just shrugged before started to talk. “I don’t know … my mom used to paint incredibly. Hm … I want to say – phenomenally.” When I said this sentence I remembered the picture from her that hangs over my bed. I looked down. I think he understood. “You’re really talented.” As he said I smiled sadly. “Thank you.” He didn’t want me to be sad so he tried to move on to another topic. “And hey, do you know what I don’t know about you and want to?” I smiled before his continuing: “Do you play any musical instruments?” I didn’t expect a question like that. “Oh, no. Unfortunately not. But I've always wanted to.” He gave me a smile. “And do you?” “Yes, yes. Guitar and piano. I love it.” Oh, my dream musical instruments. I’ve really always wanted to play but because of our financial distress was my dream over. “I will learn you, if you want.” He exclaimed and smiled widely. “Yes? It would be amazing. Hah.” I returned his smile.
I don’t know, I really feel beautiful with him. I wanna feel the way he makes me feel when I’m with him again. He is the only one who talks to me and doesn’t think I'm different than others. Next time I have to start talking to him like first.
“You didn’t oversleep, right?” Danny asked after the bell rang. “No.” I snapped and wanted to get away from the schoolroom. But Daniel pulled me back by my long sleeve. “Buddy, tell me about it. What happened?” He asked. He probably knew what was going on. I sighed. “Long sleeves again? And don’t try to wriggle out of it, excuses like ‘there’s cold outside’ are already out because I won’t believe you, ok?” I hesitated. I waited till everyone was out of class and then started talking. “Father came home after three in the morning … drunken … he smashed almost everything he had at hand.” I talked with tears in my eyes. “He had even you at hand evidently, or not? Did he hurt you?” I was in two minds if I have to say it or not. “No, he did nothing to me.” I sounded unconvincingly. “Come on, don’t lie. Hm? If he didn't do anything, you wouldn't behave like that. And to wear T-shirt with long sleeves in 80 degrees is strange, don’t you think?” I was upset and pulled my sleeve up. I uncovered my arm full of bruises and weals. “Are you fucking kidding me? It’s not funny, Pierre. Tell me when your dad comes home sober one day. It’s horrible!” As he finished I pulled my sleeve down to nobody notice my bruised arms. “Let it be. Don’t deal with it.” I didn’t want him to talk about it. “What am I dealing with? Hey, buddy, this it horrid. I won’t let it be. We have to stop it.” “But I just won’t-“ “Pierre, come on. I don’t want him to do it. He hurts you all the time and you still didn’t tell me why.” I sighed. “Just, since the day my mummy passed away everything is wrong. Since the day he boozes. According to him, I'm just not his son because I'm gay.” I burst into tears. “Come on, dude.” Daniel pulled me into a tight embrace. “Do you know now why I'm afraid of coming home? I don’t wanna feel the pain again.” I cried a lot while Danny was rocking with me from side to side. “Pierre, you know, I’m here for you. If something happened, you can come to me and I will try to help you, okay?” I smiled weakly with my eyes shut. “I’m glad I’ve got so great friend. Thank you.” Only friend, but great friend. This is it. No one else wants to talk to me, I don’t know why. Maybe it’s even my mistake because I cannot make contact with anybody. It’s my big disadvantage. “Don’t cry, hmm?” He patted me on my shoulder before he began talking again: “Let’s go to the biology lesson, okay?” “Sure.” I smiled. You know, it’s great to have friend like he is. I can always cry on his shoulder. He always hears me out, he advices me, he gives me courage, just, friend as he should be.
This lesson we have free time so I’m spending my time by drawing. I’m sitting at my desk and looking out of the window to draw the nature. I’m sitting alone now because this lesson we are separated with Daniel. As I’m drawing the details of some treetops David’s approaching to me and sitting. “Am I disturbing you?” I boggled. “Oh, no.” I swallowed thickly. “I scared you?” “A bit, I was thinking. “Oh, I’m sorry, I can go away, if you want.” He offered. “No, no! Stay here.” I reacted almost immediately. He only gave a smile. “Okay, what are you doing here alone?” I was looking into his eyes and I was totally lost. I didn't notice he talked to me. “Pierre?” He asked again but with no response. “Pierre.” He waved his hand in front of my eyes. I woke up from my daydreaming and shook my head. “Yeah? I’m sorry, what did you say?” I was abashed. “What are you doing?” He repeated his question. “I’m… am… drawing.” “Oh, really? Can I look at it?” I was just staring and didn’t answer. It took me some time than he got my reply. Okay, he didn’t get it. “Pierre, are you okay?” He asked and grinned. “Oh … sorry, I’m sorry … I’m drawing.” He lifted the corners of his lips more than before. “Okay, I know IT. You’re drawing I know but I was asking something else.” He said and started laughing. “Really? You asked for what?” I was really confused. “If I could look at it. To look at your drawing.” “Yes, yes, of course. Here you are.” I replied finally and gave him my drawing. His eyes widened before he said: “Oh my god. It’s amazing. Wow, really wonderful. Where did you learn to draw so amazingly?” I just shrugged before started to talk. “I don’t know … my mom used to paint incredibly. Hm … I want to say – phenomenally.” When I said this sentence I remembered the picture from her that hangs over my bed. I looked down. I think he understood. “You’re really talented.” As he said I smiled sadly. “Thank you.” He didn’t want me to be sad so he tried to move on to another topic. “And hey, do you know what I don’t know about you and want to?” I smiled before his continuing: “Do you play any musical instruments?” I didn’t expect a question like that. “Oh, no. Unfortunately not. But I've always wanted to.” He gave me a smile. “And do you?” “Yes, yes. Guitar and piano. I love it.” Oh, my dream musical instruments. I’ve really always wanted to play but because of our financial distress was my dream over. “I will learn you, if you want.” He exclaimed and smiled widely. “Yes? It would be amazing. Hah.” I returned his smile.
I don’t know, I really feel beautiful with him. I wanna feel the way he makes me feel when I’m with him again. He is the only one who talks to me and doesn’t think I'm different than others. Next time I have to start talking to him like first.