For Us

I didn’t like this plan.

“I don’t know, Stell,” I muttered. “I don’t wanna be alone the first time I see him again. I’ll die of embarrassment.”

“Why?” she scoffed. “Just be like, ‘Hey, fucker? Warn me next time so I can at least hide in the closet?’”

“I really hate you,” I groaned, but I knew she wasn’t gonna change her mind.

She started to leave, but I tossed her Norman’s key before she could. This surprised her, and she cocked an eyebrow at me, questioning . . . like why did I have his key?

I shook my head. “He just left it this morning. Just in case his lazy ass was still in bed.”

She didn’t say anything, only nodded and disappeared into the stairway to head up to Norman’s place.

Then it was my turn . . . to knock on the door.

Remember. You’re mad at him . . . .

But, fuck, I wasn’t mad at him. I just wanted to walk inside, get naked, and see where that went. Sounded like a fucking wonderful plan to me. Sounded like something Stella or Norman would suggest I do.

With a sigh, I swallowed the bad taste out of my mouth, ignored my churning stomach, and knocked. Loud and clear so the fucker had to hear me.

And he heard me alright. Barely even gave me time to put my hands in my pockets before he pulled the door open.

I think seeing just me standing there surprised him, but he didn’t say anything. Just stood there, lips parted slightly, eyes full of raw pain.

“Uh, hi,” I said, quite lamely. But what else could I say?

Sean rubbed the back of his head, his eyes not meeting mine. “Hi. Uh, come on in. Did Stella go to get Reedus?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I, uh, wanted to talk. To you.”

This surprised Sean more than anything, enough that he exhaled sharply through his nose and just stared, those blue eyes wide. His expression made me laugh, and I took that as an opportunity to use one of the tips Stella gave me on the ride over.

“Remember, confidence is sexy. You walk like you own the place, Sean might literally fall over and die.”

So with a smirk, I stepped past Sean and into the house. I half expected him to stop me, but he didn’t. Just stared with his mouth hanging open.

“I guess I can do all the talking, if you want,” I offered.

“I, uh, didn’t think you’d even wanna see me today,” he admitted, and his bottom lip disappeared between his teeth in this mind numbingly sexy way. He felt nervous, like maybe he thought I might bolt or something, but fucking shit, man, that was . . . attractive.

“I get it, Sean,” I said, and I looked down to my feet. “I, uh, I probably would’ve done the same thing if I were you.”

Sean let out a rugged laugh. “No, Sparks, you wouldn’t. You would’ve told me from the get-go when things started to look . . . like they used to be.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, but once again, I made sure to keep my tone light and casual so I didn’t sound too emotional about it. Truth was, this was the part that kinda stung—why didn’t he tell me?

He sighed. “I don’t know, El, I just . . . I was trying to avoid you.”

That hurt, but I tried to hide it. I looked down to my shoes and nodded, wearing a forced smile that he couldn’t even see. “Oh. Uh, I guess that makes sense.”

“Not for whatever reason you think,” he whispered, and I missed him stepping closer. I only knew because he was suddenly close enough to touch my face ever so softly, and when he did, his eyes looked down at me as if he was seeing me for the first time.

My heart swelled up in my chest immediately, but I found my smile genuine. I curled into his touch and let my eyes flutter shut, let the momentum of the moment take me places I had only dreamed of going.

“Why then?”

“Reedus,” was the only word he whispered, the only thing he said.

That kinda killed the moment. “Norman? What about Norman?”

Sean looked hesitant, like he was worried whatever he had to say would make me mad. That meant it either would make me mad, or it would make me wanna throw up. Either one seemed plausible.
“I thought . . . I thought he liked you. Still not convinced otherwise.”

I made a face. “Um, ew. Norman? No. From the way I see it, Norman and Stella are gonna end up together.”

Now Sean looked disgusted, actually scrunched his nose a little, too. “I don’t see it, but, fuck, I’ll take your word for it.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “That’s cause you didn’t see the way he looked at her yesterday. You were too busy kicking me out of the kitchen.”

He smirked. “Well, we both know I won’t be making that mistake again.”

“No, you should probably always kick me out of the kitchen,” I disagreed, and that made him laugh. “Still haven’t gotten any better.”

“You’re hopeless, you know that?” he laughed, and in one fluid motion, he took my face in both hands and looked down at me. But, the moment he did, he looked . . . off. Hesitant even. “Um, Elli, I . . . .”

I stepped back, one eyebrow raised. “You what?”

Whatever he planned to say got interrupted, and it got interrupted uncomfortably. A certain tall blonde model came waltzing in, without even knocking. Just walked right in and didn’t even pay attention to anything going on.

“Hey, darling, get dressed. We’re—what the hell?”

And there it was all over again. He hadn’t broken up with her . . . and there I was falling for it again.

Fuck, I’m such an idiot!

I knew Sean was still watching me, knew he looked absolutely crushed as he saw the way I crumbled in front of him. But I really didn’t care. There was actually no fucking reason he couldn’t have told me. We fucking . . . fuck!

I turned away from Sean and looked around his condo. “Stella and Normy should be down any minute.”

“Well, sorry, but he’s coming with me today,” the bitch who was still staring at me told me, and I heard her thin stilettos on the hard wood as she stepped closer to me. “Who the hell are you, and why are you here all the time?”

“Her name’s Elli, bitch,” Stella announced from the doorway, and she had this huge, cocky smirk plastered on her face. “And she’s your worst fucking nightmare.”

“No one of any importance or value,” I muttered, and I knew that hurt Sean to hear. Yeah, I knew better, but this asshole fucking lied to me. Again. “Just Elli. Apparently your worst nightmare, but really, I’m scared of too much shit to be a nightmare.”

The girl rolled her eyes and looked back to Sean. “So, we should hang out today. You’ve kinda been with them for two days, and I just back in town. Let’s go do something.”

“We already have plans today, Kara,” Sean groaned. “I’m not just gonna blow them off like that.”

Kara started to pout. “But, Boo Bear—”

“Oh, fuck no,” I interrupted, and I let out a breathless laugh while Sean’s eyes widened. “Really? Fucking really?”

Stella nearly died laughing from the doorway while Norman’s eyes just widened. Stella, however, eagerly said, “Shit’s about to get real.”

Kara ignored all of them and stepped closer to me, yet again. “What the fuck? I’m really sick of seeing your face everywhere. I don’t know why you were here last night, but I sure as hell hope it’s not why I think.”

Sean looked horrified as he stared between us, and I knew then something had happened. Something that I still didn’t know . . . why hadn’t he broken up with her? Something changed. Maybe he decided he wasn’t sure yet. Maybe he decided that I was a lost cause.

I don’t know, but he seemed scared right now, scared of what might happen if the two of us went at it.

Well . . . let’s just see.

Norman wasn’t scared. He, like Stella, was laughing now. “There she goes.”

“Look, Elli, or whatever the fuck your stupid name is,” she snorted, and she actually had the nerve to push me back away from Sean. “You should really go. I’m not comfortable with you being here, and frankly, I’m not comfortable with you being in Sean’s life at all.”

“No one’s comfortable with you being here,” Norman snorted. “Or in Sean’s life, for that matter.”

Sean covered his face with his hands and groaned. “Here we go.”

“Well, hate to burst your bubble, but I’m not going anywhere,” I informed her. “Like it or not, Sean’s kinda stuck with me. No stupid, useless bitch like you is getting rid of me. I’m not going anywhere. So you can just take your ugly face out of here, and please. Don’t leave the plastic nose behind.”

Stella was on the verge of tears at this point, but she was still able to get words out. “Or your breast implants.”

Kara was fuming. “Stella? What the hell? I thought we were friends!”

“Turns out, you were wrong,” Stella snorted. “Imagine that.”

“What the fuck?” she gasped, now turning her attention back to me. “I’m a model, in case you were wondering. There’s nothing ugly about me.”

“Actually, there’s your personality,” I disagreed. “And your face.”

Stella looked like she might bust with excitement. Joy and pride clouded over all else, and she got this huge, genuine smile. “I’m so proud right now.”

Kara rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah, I’m not too concerned about what you say. You clearly wouldn’t know what beautiful is. You certainly don’t see it when you look in the mirror.”

Now, Stella was laughing like a fucking psychopath. “Bitch, please.”

Though Stella’s outbursts made me smile, I went on like she hadn’t said anything. “Why don’t you swallow make up so you can try and be pretty on the inside, too? Since you’re the self-declared face of beautiful.”

“Why don’t you get your slutty ass out of my boyfriend’s house before I kick it out?” she threatened, and once again, she got way too close to me. So close she could probably feel my blood boiling. “A Jimmy Chu shoved up your ass isn’t very pleasant.”

Now, it was my turn to get her bitch ass away from something, and that something was me. I pushed her back, a bit harder than I meant to, and smirked when she lost her balance and nearly fell on her ass. “Kick me out, bitch. I dare you. You don’t wanna know what’s going up your ass.”

Stella pressed her lips together. “I do have a Rottweiler a block away.”

“I wouldn’t do that to the poor baby,” I disagreed, and I shot Stella a smirk. “Might get a STD or something.”

“True. She’d be sick for weeks.”

I nodded. “Yeah, and then I’d have to kill this bitch, and, you know, season five shooting isn’t that far away. Prison just doesn’t fit into the schedule.”

Now, Kara seemed to have had enough because she looked at Sean with more anger in her eyes than I thought she was capable of feeling.

Score one for me.

“Sean, are you gonna let her talk to me like this?!”

I knew I was smirking at the bastard, eyebrows raised, waiting. He looked back at me with narrowed eyes and a tiny smirk of his own, but I knew he was having this huge inner turmoil. Fuck, he lied to me again. He knew I was thinking about killing him, but he still loved watching this.

Found my side of it amusing.

So, in the cutest voice I could manage with my little smirk, I brought us back to the college days. Back when some sleazy bitch he dated then asked him a similar question. Maybe the same.

“Yeah, Sean. Are you gonna let me talk to her like this?

Stella was dying now while Sean took a deep breath and looked at me, face seemingly impassive while humor danced around in his eyes. “Fucking deja vu, man.” He turned to Kara now, and the humor was all gone. “Look, I’ll say the same fucking thing I did last time. That bitch has earned the right to say whatever she fucking pleases. You, however, have not. Elli’s a fucking gem, alright? There’s nothing ugly about her. She’s the farthest thing from a slut, and you know what? Why don’t you get your ass out of my house? I’m done with this shit, Kara. You’re too fucking possessive, and starting shit with Elli crossed the line. I’m done.”

“Boom, bitch!” was the first thing I heard after he said it, from Stella of course, because Kara was literally speechless as she gaped at Sean. “How d’ya like those apples? Taste the poison yet?”

That made Norman laugh again, too. “Stell, you’re enjoying this too much.”

Kara surprised us all when she slapped Sean. Not just some sissy slap either. Fucking slapped the bastard so hard he just stood there, eyes wide.

“I knew you were lying!” she yelled at him. “You bastard! You fucking cheated on me! Well, have a nice life with that slut. She’ll never be me.”

Sean was mad now, but he kept a cool face and nodded. “Yeah, that’s kinda the point.”

And the bitch just stormed right out. I couldn’t really say I blamed her. Sean was a dick, and frankly, I found it kinda funny that he got slapped.

Not by her, though. I wanted to do it.

When he looked back to me, his eyes slightly narrowed, I rolled my eyes. “This doesn’t let you off the hook, you know. I’m still mad at you.”

And of course, Stella and Norman had to get involved.

Stella said, “Angry hate sex is always so good,” at the same time Norman said,

“Have hot hate sex. Best kind.”

Sean seemed unfazed by the fact they had said the same thing at the same time, but those two weren’t, and I was laughing. Stella and Norman got these wide eyed, what the fucking hell just happened looks and jumped away from each other.

“I’m not having hate sex with Sean,” I told them, and I smirked as Sean looked a bit disappointed. “But fuck, that was funny. Maybe you two should give it a try judging by the looks you’re giving each other.”

And both of them, literally at the same time, ran away. Out the fucking front door and down the stairs. When they realized they were doing the same thing, they turned and tried to come back, once again together.

“I’m leaving!” Stella yelled.

“No, I’m leaving!”

Sean and I mostly ignored them at that point because their arguing got a bit loud and pointless. Just back and forth about how one was leaving first, and the other disagreed that they were.

I glared at Sean while he nervously rubbed the back of his head. He knew I was mad, but I think he wasn’t as scared as he was last night.

That was kinda the point in telling Kara that I wasn’t going anywhere . . . so he would know. Yeah, I was pissed he lied again, but . . . I would get over it, probably not as fast as the first time. Because Sean was the person I was made for, and nothing would convince me otherwise.

Sean looked a bit sheepish as he tried to get me to smile by giving me a smile of his own. “You sure you’re not down for that hate sex?”

“Positive.”

Because you have to hate someone to have hate sex with them. I mean, you can’t have hate sex with someone you love. You just can’t.