For Us

I woke up the next morning after getting very little sleep not actually caring that I felt horrid. Sean had stayed with me that night, and every time I got up, he got up, too.

Why? I don’t really know. He could’ve just kept sleeping, could’ve moved to another room so I didn’t wake him up, but he didn’t.

When I woke up the next morning, I didn’t wake up because I needed to run into the bathroom and vomit. I just woke up to wake up.

Sean was already awake, his eyes locked on me as I yawned and snuggled up closer to him. That’s what he told me to do last night if I got cold, and even though I wasn’t exactly cold, I did it anyways.

A smile twisted onto his lips as one arm snaked around me. “Morning, beautiful. Why are you awake so early? You didn’t sleep much at all last night.”

“Neither did you,” I reminded him, feeling a bit too proud of the fact he didn’t have room to talk.

Sean laughed. “Yes, but I actually got back to sleep when we got to bed. I’m sure it took you a while.”

He was right, but I didn’t let it bother me. I just stayed in his arms, closed my eyes, and imagined waking up like this every morning.

It was a wonderful picture.

I must’ve fallen back asleep because Stella was there next thing I knew. Sean had climbed out of bed, put some pants on over his boxers, and let her in.

I woke up when they came in the room. It was a bit surprising to find Sean not there anymore, but it didn’t really matter either way. I sat up too fast and had to run into the bathroom.

Sean and Stella both followed me in there. Stella held my hair while Sean got another wet rag to put around my neck. I felt quite loved then because both were willing to stand there while I puked up putrid bile. Norman would be more than willing to do the same if he were in town.

Sean rubbed the sweat from the back of my neck as I stood and flushed the toilet. “Here you go, love. Come on and lay back down. You need anything?”

I nodded. “Mountain Dew?”

Stella sighed. “You really need to drink something else, El. You’ll get dehydrated.”

“But I don’t want anything else,” I pouted, and I immediately looked to Sean.

Poor boy looked so conflicted. On one hand, he knew Stella was probably right, but on the other, he knew what I wanted, and I wanted Mountain Dew.

So, I decided to make his life easier. “Unless you have some Gatorade?”
***
That was pretty much how the next few days went. I was sick much longer than I wanted to be, but I didn’t get dehydrated. Sean had a couple bottles of Gatorade, but he ended up going and getting more. When Stella wasn’t at work, she was at Sean’s, and I think Norman called more often than my mom did.

That was interesting, trying to keep her home. When she found out I was sick, she almost flew up to New York to take care of me.

Sean managed to convince her that he was taking perfect care of me, and whatever Mom said to that made Sean’s smile get real big and bashful even.

I think Mom likes him.

By Friday, I was feeling so much better that I was ready to get up and dance. I wasn’t, you know, a hundred percent, but I didn’t wake up wanting to puke my organs up.

I hadn’t realized when I climbed out of bed and walked over to the window across the room that Sean was awake. He watched me, though, watched as I pulled back the curtains and nearly blinded myself with the sun.

“Slow down there, Sparks. I don’t think you’re ready to face the world just yet.”

“I feel wonderful,” I disagreed. “I think I’m ready to get out today.”

I could hear him shuffling out of bed and behind me, and when his arms wrapped around my waist, I settled.

My eyes closed, and my body fell back against his. Melted against his warmth. “Give me a reason to stay.”

His laugh hit the top of my head and sent shivers down my spine, but I stayed still in-between his arms and waited for his response. “Stay for us.”

I should’ve expected the answer, but I didn’t. It caught me off guard, and my eyes opened back up so I could try and look at him. I tilted my head up and could kinda see him, but his expression wasn’t one I could read upside down. Not to mention, his eyes were focused outside the window.

So, with a sigh, I laid my head back against his arms. “For us . . . what is ‘us’ gonna do today?”

“That’s entirely up to you,” he said. “As long as, you know, it can be done in here.”

I stuck my tongue out at him but didn’t try to move yet. Even when Sean’s arms came up to wrap around my shoulders and he kissed the top of my head, as if he planned to move, I didn’t. I just stayed in his arms and waited. Waited in the safest place on earth because you’d be fucking stupid to try and hurt me in Sean’s arm. Motherfucker will tear you limb from limb if he had to in order to keep me safe.

He’d do it for Norman and Stella, too. Anyone he really cared about was safest in his arms.

Though Norm and Stella wouldn’t wanna be there like I did . . . .

I felt his lips press against the back of my head again, and he sighed. “Look, Elli, I can’t keep you here, but I’d really like it if you stayed. I’ve got some stuff I have to do down at the studio for an hour or so. I guess it’s up to you if you stay here or not. I’ll take you wherever you want.”

“No, here’s fine,” I said, and I gave him a coy smile. It felt weird stepping out of his arms, but I was all for making his life easier. “You just go get your sexy self ready. You owe me, though.”

He grinned as he turned to watch me scamper back over to the bed. “Oh? Why is that?”

“Because I’m staying here for us,” I said, and I immediately crawled back into the covers. “Since I’m doing my part of the ‘us’ thing, you have to do yours when you get back.”

“You know what?” he murmured. “Fine. I owe you.” He came over and placed a huge kiss on my forehead. “As soon as I get back, we’ll go out, okay? Wherever you want. Whatever you wanna do.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I said, but immediately after I did, my stomach began churning. For a split second, I worried I was about to get sick again.

Then I realized it wasn’t nausea at all.

It was fear.

I kept my smile even so that Sean didn’t notice anything up, but as soon as he disappeared into the bathroom to get ready, I nearly fell apart.

Whatever you wanna do . . . .

You?

My face burned at just the thought. Fuck, that was a stupid idea, wasn’t it? Sean had . . . experience in that department, but me? None whatsoever, and I hadn’t exactly told him.

But when he said that . . . whatever I wanted to do . . . I realized that was it. That was what I wanted to do.

For us. Fuck, maybe for me? With the thought that Sean was probably naked in the room next to me, I couldn’t really focus much.

Stop, Elli. Stop . . . .

In my defense, it wasn’t really fair. I had, you know, spent four days being nursed back to health by Sean Patrick Flanery. Sexy motherfucker I just so happened to be, you know, in love with.

Can you blame me for wanting to finally have sex with him? And I mean, it wasn’t sex. That’s not what it was called.

I wanted to make sweet love to him, and dear goodness, he wasn’t really helping. He came out of the bathroom with no shirt on and his tooth brush hanging out of his mouth, his blue eyes curious as they connected with my green ones.

“You okay?”

I nodded and nervously looked away. Fuck, this wasn’t right. I wasn’t a teenager anymore, but that’s what it felt like. My heartbeat was like the wings of a hummingbird, and it felt exhilarating. Sean looked at me like I was crazy, but I wasn’t crazy. I was on fire.

But I couldn’t do this . . . not yet anyways, right? I mean, everyone has their first time sometime, I guess, so did they have, like, some sort of preparation for it? Or was it just a spur of the moment thing?

Hmm. Didn’t spur of the moment lead to babies?

Fuck, I had a lot of shit to figure out in the brief hour Sean would be gone.

Sean came out of the bathroom with a pair of jeans on this time, but he still had no shirt. His teeth were brushed, and the smell of his after shave sent my body on yet another frenzy.

He actually came over and sat on the bed beside me, leaning down to press his lips against my forehead. That didn’t really help because his minty breath was intoxicating, and his lips on mine was always a pleasure.

“You sure you’re feeling okay?” he asked. “We can always do something another night.”

“I’m fine,” I assured him, and I gave him a huge smile to try and prove it. It actually worked against me, however, so Sean looked even more skeptical about leaving than he did before that.

He pulled a black t-shirt over his head and pressed his lips together. “You sure, El? I mean, if I need to, I can try and put this off some more . . . .”

“No, no,” I said, and I actually climbed out of bed and scurried over beside him. He just watched as I started feebly attempting to push him towards the door. “Really, Boo Bear, I’m fine.” I gave him a much more normal smile this time, but fuck was it hard to muster up. My insides were burning and having spasms, and being this close to him, close to the warmth of his . . . very toned and rigid body . . . or the aroma of—fuck, Elli, stop!

I managed to get him a step away from me and huffed. He looked rather amused at how terribly weak I was, but I didn’t find it amusing. It was frustrating to the point I found myself scowling. That only made him laugh at me.

I groaned. “Just go, Sean. Really. I’m fine. I’ll be okay. I don’t need anything.”

Except you.