From Under the Cork Tree

Beatz let me ride on his back as we walked through the crowd. He towered over nearly everyone, and I could see stages and tents, and I directed him where I wanted to go. We watched a few bands, the last band we saw was of course Fall Out Boy. I was learning the songs, but I hadn't heard their first album as of yet. By the time they finished, Beatz and I had made it back behind the backstage.

"Yo," Pete nudge his head towards me, "you got a cute hunchback there, John."

Beatz laughed, I flipped Pete off, "She is pretty cute. I named her Angelus."

"You guys aren't funny," I murmured, slipping off his back.

"I saw you in the crowd," Pete said, "why didn't you show me your boobs?"

"You guys are no Guns-N-Roses," I smirked.

Pete hummed, "I agree. I'm more of an asshole than Axl is."

Before I could make a comeback, Beatz took my hand, "We gotta go, babe, we're setting up."

"Okay," I said. Then I looked at Pete, "I'll see you guys later."

He winked at me, "See ya."

I followed Beatz back towards where the Ernie Ball stage was. His band was already setting up, I kissed him and followed him on the stage. I stayed side stage, high fiving everyone as they hurried on the stage.

Bayside started to play, it was too loud for me to hear, so I moved back a bit, keeping my eyes on Beatz's back. I smiled, again feeling butterflies; I was too into his playing that I didn't even feel Pete sneaking up on me. I jumped in place causing him to laugh; he leaned into my ear, "Hey beautiful."

I slugged his arm, "Jerk!"

He smiled at me, then turned to face the back, "I love your boyfriend's band."

I shook my head, pointing to the crowd, "So do they."

"You know who loves them even more? Patrick."

I giggled, "Seriously?"

Pete nodded, "Yep."

After that, we were quiet, watching Bayside play. During a transition to a new song, Beatz would look back at smile at me. I was completely filled with love and I couldn't stop smiling, my cheeks were practically numb.

After the performance, Beatz tossed his sticks and rushed around to me. He pulled me into his arms, soaking me in his sweat, "Oh my god!" I screeched, "Jonathan Holohan, put me down!"

He laughed and set me on my feet, "I'm not sorry."

I pouted, "You never are. Now I smell."

Pete snickered at me, "Stop being such a girl."

I threatened to punch him, causing him to flinch. I slugged his arm twice, "Two for flinching, Wentz."

"You gonna let your girlfriend abuse me, Holohan?" Pete sputtered dramatically to Beatz.

"Actually," Beatz looked down at me and nodded, "yeah, I am."

I stuck my tongue out at Pete as Beatz kissed the top of my head. He let me go and turned back to help take his kit down and back in it's case and the trailer. Pete and I met behind the stage waiting for Beatz and the others to finish.

"So," Pete murmured, "did I annoy you the other night?"

I looked at him, shaking my head, "No, why?"

"I was just wondering...I didn't mean to...to, uh, call you and tell you that stuff," he spoke shyly, looking down at the grass.

"It was okay, Pete," I said, "you needed someone to talk to and we talked. Don't be ashamed, and like I said, you can trust me."

He looked back at me, "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Are you okay?"

"Since I talked to you, yeah, I am. I'm not sure what to say to my friends, or to Morgan. She's called and emailed...I don't know what to do or say."

"Well, you can send her a text that says: The number you are trying to reach has declined to accept messages from a hoe," I suggested seriously.

Pete laughed, his eyes squinted as he held his gut and laughed. I smiled and shook my head at the doofus. Pete just laughed and laughed until I started to.

Once he stopped, he had tears in his eyes, and then let out a sigh, "Thanks, Angelus."

"You're welcome...and, ya'know, you can call me Angel if you want."

He smiled smugly, "You like me."

"Only as a friend."

"No shit," he nudged my arm. "I like you too, I'm happy for you. You're a great person; kinda wish I met you 'fore Holohan did."

I smirked, "Like I would go for you, Wentz."

"You totally would have!" He exclaimed. "I am a heartthrob. I never met a heart I couldn't break."

"Sounds like one of your song titles," I shot back.

"Maybe it is!" He stuck his tongue out at me.

"What are you children doing?" Beatz broke up our little tantrum.

I hugged his waist, "Wentz was just telling me how much of a heartthrob he is."

Beatz chuckled, "Oh, I bet. He's been with guys and girls."

Pete popped the collar of his shirt, "I'm not a playa, I just fuck a lot."

My jaw dropped as he walked off, his steps were like a prance. I laughed so hard I nearly fell over with Beatz. He held me up and whisked me off.

"Pete is so fuckin' cocky," he said as we began to head towards the parking lot.

"Yeah...maybe it's a mask, you know?"

He hummed, "Yeah, I think so. He's got a lot of things messed up with him like your..."

I looked up at Beatz as he trailed his sentence. There was more he wanted to say, but he didn't.

"Whadda mean, Johnny?" I asked softly.

We stopped at his bands large van, and Beatz pulled the back doors open, "I mean, Wentz isn't all there," he motioned towards his head, "I don't mean it in a bad way, it's just...it's--it's hard to explain."

I swallowed and sat in the van first, "Like my dad, that's what you meant?"

Beatz frowned and shook his head, "Nah, no--no, Angel, I didn't--"

I put my hand up, "John, it's okay, I talked with Pete about it."

"Ya did?" He sat beside me, his legs hanging out the door.

"Yeah. He wasn't feeling too good, he was drunk and called me because I'm the only girl friend he has," I rubbed my neck, "he just needed someone to talk to and I was there. I felt sorry for him, but it's not why I'm his friend, I actually like him, he's cool. He reminds me of my dad, when he was in his maniac moods, ya'know? Before he went on the meds and became his calm self."

"That's nice of you," Beatz wrapped his arm around my shoulders, "you're a sweetheart."

I made a face, "Ew."

"What, sugar, do I smell?"

I shook my head, "No--yeah, but I don't like to be called sweetheart by my lovers. Reminds me too much of my parents."

He laughed and kissed my temple, "I almost forgot, I'll just keep callin' you sugar then, good?"

I kissed the underside of his jaw, "Good, Johnny."


Rae and I met up and were set to leave near midnight. The majority of the tour had packed and left to the next city, but a few bands stayed and had like a barbecue. Of course we ate, hung out with Bayside, Fall Out Boy, Brand New and a few others I hadn't known the names of. Most of the night I was with Beatz, Rae, Andy, Pete, Joe and Patrick. We laughed and made jokes, and by the time they had to go, I was getting sad.

Beatz had followed me to my car, Rae was far behind with Andy; he hugged me and held me as we stood by the driver side door. I sighed deeply, "I miss you."

He held me tighter, "I miss you two. We only got a few more dates and then I'll be back--"

"Yeah," I pouted, "for only a month."

He sighed, "Yeah...yeah. But, this is my job--my dream."

I felt stupid for being so pouty and clinging, "Sorry. I'm just being annoying. I want you to live your dream, I support you all the way, John, I just miss you."

He kissed my lips, "The middle of November is when we get 4 months off; me and you will get married and have a honeymoon. Then we'll find an apartment, we'll start our lives together."

My stomach tangled, my cheeks started to burn from the smile he caused. I buried my face into his chest and hugged him tighter, "You're perfect."

He rubbed my back, "I learned from the best, sugar."

Beatz kissed me one last time before Rae had shown up and told me she was ready. I wasn't aware I had tears in my eyes until I was actually pulling out and Beatz's figure was blurry on my headlights. He waved at us, smiling that shy grin of his; Rae waved, and I blew him a kiss, to which he pretended to catch.

Rae laughed, "You guys are ridiculously cute."

"Yeah, I know," I said faux in a smug way.

"Me 'n' Andy are cuter."

I snickered, "Both you guys are cute together, animals."

Rae blushed, she turned her head. I could see she was thinking about him already.

"You're fallin' hard, ain't ya?"

"I can't help it," she said with a small smile, "he completes me."

"As John completes me. I think you're in love, Rae."

"I think so too," she exhaled, "is it too fast?"

"I don't know," I shrugged as I turned onto the 101. "There aren't certain rules with love."

"I don't want to say things that are too soon."

"I know what you mean. Just have fun, worry about it only if it warrants."

She nodded, agreeing, "I will. I'm just confused, that's all."

"Don't think so hard, just go with the flow."

"That's what you did?" Rae asked softly.

I smiled and looked at her momentarily, "Yeah...I was afraid about the age difference, but I said fuck it and here we are."

"You aren't worried about a thing?"

I shook my head, "No way! I'm happy, I'm in love and my boy loves me right back and he's happy; that's all I care about."

"You're making me feel a lot better 'bout this, Angel."

"I'm glad to help. Now, will he be at my wedding as your date?"

Rae giggled, "You set a date?"

"Beatz picked, January 5th," I paused for a moment, "I'm gonna move to New York...I don't know when."

The car grew silent, except for the sound of my car whizzing down the highway. Rae cleared her throat, "Yeah? When?"

"I don't know, I just thought I should since we're getting married. Are you upset?"

Rae exhaled softly, "I'll miss you. You were my first friend here, I trust you with my life, Angel...I know I'll be upset sooner or later, but now, no, I'm not. I'm happy for you."

"I'll always come visit," I added, glancing at her quickly, "just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I'll stop talking to you."

"Yeah, but who am I supposed to take the piss outta people with now?"

I smiled, "I'll be here for a long while, Rae, don't worry! I think I'm gonna move next year, Bayside's tour schedule is insane this fall."

"Then we're spending as much time together as possible, yeah?"

I hummed, "Yep. Sleepover!"

Rae laughed, "Look how grown up we are."