From Under the Cork Tree

Dr. Evans entered the exam room with my file in his hands. John sat with me on the exam table, holding my hand; his grip got tighter as soon as the door shut behind the doctor. I was holding my breath, and only exhaled when Dr. Evans looked up at me.

His face wasn't as frantic as I expected it to be. He looked at ease, his older face looked much more younger, with a softer gaze, and his silver hair was combed back. Dr. Evans looked happy, which concerned me; I thought he was happy that I may've been dying.

"Why're you happy?" I asked him; my voice felt faint inside my throat.

Dr. Evans put my file down, smiling now, "Well, we've tested and tested, but we are more than positive of what the cause of your illnesses are, Angelus."

"Yeah?" John muttered.

"Angelus, we're more than certain that you are pregnant."

My brows shot up, and I couldn't help but to feel relieved. I actually felt a smile spread across my face; I wasn't sure if it was because I wasn't dying or if it was because I was pregnant. Either way, I was happy. So happy, tears began to burn my eyes; John wrapped his arm around me and kissed my temple.

"Are you sure?" I asked quickly, sniffling.

Dr. Evans nodded in my blurry vision, "We'll have to exam and have an ultrasound, but we're sure. Your sugar levels are low, you're fine though, you'll need prenatal vitamins and to stop smoking right away."

I inhaled, "Yeah, yeah of course!" I said quickly.

"As for all pregnancies, you'll need to be careful with the things you take and the activity you do. You're a special case, your OB-GYN will have to check your uterus to see how things are going, and how well your baby will develop. I am very happy and excited for you, this is such great news."

I nodded, "Yeah, it is. So, you're sure though, doc? I...I've been told that it would be a 1 in 750,000 chance for me to get pregnant."

"Then you should play the lotto," Dr. Evans chuckled, "congratulations, Angelus."

I actually pinched myself, exhaling, "Wow, thanks."

After Dr. Evans gave me some info on vitamins and gave me an appointment card, then John and I headed out. I was on cloud nine the entire walk to the car, and inside, I felt like throwing up, because I was so excited.

But, as John drove, the car enveloped in silence, I was starting to feel sudden fear. I felt scared and sick again, worse than ever.
I never thought about having babies, not since before I was told there would be no chance that I would ever get pregnant. I had been upset by it, but I soon just let it go and decided that if I truly wanted kids in the future I would adopt. I didn't even think about it when I was John, not until I knew that I was in love with him.

I didn't even think about how John would've taken it! I didn't think about him in the doctor's office. He hadn't said anything after Dr. Evans told me I was pregnant; John had no expression on his face, it was blank.

"Beatz," I said his name as we stopped in a parking lot in front of big building, "are you okay?"

John looked at me and nodded, "Yes."

"Are you sure? Do you--are you..." I paused, trying to form the right words, "Do you want a baby?"

John smiled, "Of course I do. I want to marry you, Angel."

The fear went away as soon as he confirmed it.

"Yeah?"

He chuckled, "Yeah."

I leaned over and kissed him, "I can't believe this happened."

"Me either," he murmured, "I'm so glad you're not dying."

I laughed, "I know."

Again, we were both silent after laughing softly. I looked up, and around, noticing we were at the Los Angeles Courthouse. My eyes wandered back over to John, "What are we doing here?"

"I want to marry you, Angelus," he said simply, "now."

My brows raised, "What? What about our parents, and your brothers?"

"I don't care about them coming right now," he said, "this is about me and you. If they want a big wedding and a party and pictures and food," he rambled, "if they want that we'll give it to them in January. But right now, I want to marry you...I don't think I can leave for tour without you being my wife."

My mouth ran dry, as did my brain. I didn't know how to respond, what words to say. My heart was in my stomach, butterflies flapped around them. Tears welled up in my eyes and rolled down my cheeks, I rubbed them away, and finally just nodded.

"Do you want to do this?" He asked.

"Yes," I nodded again, "yes. Yeah, I wanna marry you today, Beatz."

John kissed me quickly, and together, we climbed out of my car and headed up the stone steps of the courthouse.

It was really surreal. We paid $25 each for the $50 fee for the marriage license, then a justice of the peace led us into this small chapel like room. A secretary was our witness, but it was like John and I were alone with this older man in blue jeans, a black button down shirt and running shoes saying words we didn't care about. Of course, we answered the simple "I do"s before it was made official. John and I were married, and it didn't even feel like it, not until I was asked about changing my namesake while I was there.

"Do you wanna be Angelus Holohan?" John asked with a small laugh.

I shook my head, "Not yet. This has to printed in the paper for anyone wanting contest the name change. I'll wait till January."

"Alright," John took my hand and led the way out.

I was again floating. My head was cloudy, my mind and conscious could barely wrap around the fact that I was now married and I was pregnant. It was so, so surreal; I swore I was dreaming, and if I was, I didn't want to wake up.


We didn't tell my parents; we wanted to keep it a secret until the following day after my appointment with my gynecologist. I wanted it confirmed and I wanted to get ultrasound pictures to gush over. I was really nervous about telling my parents; I was afraid they would be disappointed in me, and angry that I went and got married behind their back.

Well, maybe they wouldn't be so angry, more so disappointed.

I knew for sure that John's mother would be very upset. She didn't like me, ever since the moment we met. She thought I was too young, too naive, and not pretty enough to be with her son. It was gonna be a wild ride once we would tell her, I knew that for sure. And once we would tell her I was pregnant, she was gonna flip her shit and kill me with her words.

But, I knew that it wouldn't matter. Nothing would matter. I love Beatz and he loves me, and it was all I needed.

He was definitely excited about everything; in bed, his hand was flat against my stomach, talking to himself. He was king questions, wondering how far along I was and what the baby's gender was. I couldn't stop smiling, I never been so happy in my entire life before.

John rubbed my stomach, causing me to giggle, "Hey there baby Angelus."

I laughed, "Baby is yours too."

"Yeah, but I hope baby is cute like you."

My heart could've melted just then.

"I hope it's a girl," he said, his eyes meeting mine, "I wanna name her Ramona, after the Ramones. Her middle name will be..." He hummed, my smile grew, "hmm...I like Cash, for Johnny Cash."

"So, if we have a daughter, she'll be named after rock stars?"

He nodded, "Yep. We have a son, his name will be Johnny Axl Holohan."

I laughed again, shaking my head, "Oh god, I hate Axl Rose!"

"I agree, he fucking sucks," John murmured and laid his head on my chest, his hand rubbing across my belly. "We'll find a good name before baby is here."

"I hope so," I murmured, burying my face in his messy hair.

"I should get you a new ring before I leave," he said after a few moments of silence.

"I don't need another ring. Not until our huge wedding," I chuckled.

He looked up at me, "Yeah...but that doesn't mean I can't look."

My fingers threaded through his hair, "You sure can, Beatz."

"Are you gonna tell your boyfriend I knocked you up?" He joked, laughing after.

"Wentz? No, I'm not gonna tell a soul until we see baby."

John held me tight, "Good."

I massaged his scalp until I fell asleep there in his embrace. I slept wonderfully, never wanting to interrupt the moment. In my dreams, I dreamt of us marrying and raising our child, which turned out to be a girl. John chased her around while I watched them; my body felt free and light, swarming with butterflies. I only woke up because my cell had started to ring and John rolled around, pulling my body with him.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily.

"7," he mumbled, "it's Pete."

"Let it ring for a minute," I yawned.

John sat up, his arms slipping away, "Wanna go eat? I bet your mom is cooking."

I smiled lazily, "I can smell it too."

He smiled back at me, "I'll let her know we're gonna bum a meal."

He kissed me before climbing out of the bed and leaving the room. I finally sat up and grabbed my phone; it started to ring again, so I answered, "Wentz?"

"Hey," Pete replied softly, hesitantly, "am I buggin' you?"

"No," I reached over and turned on my bedside lamp, "what's up?"

"Is it weird that I miss you?" He asked awkwardly.

I shrugged to myself, "Well...why do you miss me?"

"I miss talking to someone who will actually listen to me," he exhaled, "I don't know, Angel."

"You can always call when you wanna talk," I reminded him.

"I don't wanna be a leach."

I laughed, "You already are. And it's okay."

"How's Holohan?"

"He's good," I smiled, biting my lip, "I have something to tell you, but you have to promise to keep it between me and you."

"Pinkie promise," he said firmly.

"Cross your heart and hope to die?" I added.

"Stick a dirty needle in my eye. I won't tell a soul, Angelus."

I knew I could trust him.

"Me and Beatz got married at the courthouse today."

He laughed happily, "No shit? Congrats!"

"Thanks, Pete. We're still having the wedding, and yes, you're still the maid of honor."

He cooed, "Aw! Yay!"

"You're insufferable, you know that?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, but that's why everyone loves me."

"Of course. It's the Wentz charm."

We were silent for a moment, both comfortably. It felt nice, like he was right there. That's when I knew that Pete was my best friend, aside from Rae.

"I really do miss ya, Angel," he mumbled.

"Yeah, I miss you too, buddy. There's so much I have to tell you."

"Me too," he laughed softly, "we did an interview and I told the interviewer my name was Jason."

I laughed, "Shut up!"

"I did!" He exclaimed, "She believed me the entire time!"

I shook my head, "You're a dick."

"How am I a dick? She should do her research!"

I couldn't stop laughing hearing Pete tell me about his stupid shenanigans. It wasn't until John came up to tell me that the food was ready that I hung up with Pete. When we hung up, he sounded in a good place, he was okay, and so was I.