Apartment 4C

Somehow, and Jake wasn’t sure how he managed to do it, but he avoided Alfie completely for two weeks. Two whole weeks without seeing the boy (Man? Boy? Guy?) that he’d cancelled on. The texts Alfie had sent really had broken his heart, especially with how sad and confused he sounded, and even more so when Alfie sent him a final text that evening.

To: Jake
From Alfie

I don’t know what I’ve done to make you change your mind, but I’m sorry for whatever it was. I won’t bother you again.

That text, along with Gabe’s sad smiles and Elliot’s frowns and judgemental sighs, made the past two weeks miserable for Jake. He regretted cancelling the date. There, he said it. He completely and utterly regretted cancelling the date with Alfie but there was nothing he could do about it now. He’d made his bed, and now he had to lie in it.

Or something like that.

Either way, Jake wasn’t prepared for when he saw Alfie again. Ironically, it was the evening of Valentine’s Day (of course it was), and Jake had gone out grocery shopping. What? It wasn’t like he had anything better to do, and he figured the store would be pretty empty anyway. And Gabe would bitch if there was no milk in the morning for his coffee. As usual, Jake digressed from the shopping list he’d written, ending up with both hands full as he got off the bus. And it was starting to rain. Typical.

As he walked up towards the building, he noticed that someone else was opening the door. Thank fuck. That would save him having to put all his bags down to find his pass.

“Hold the door!” Jake yelled.

The person did so, so Jake started fast walking/jogging up to save them having to hold it for longer than necessary. They probably had plans tonight, why should he hold them up?

But when he looked to see which of his neighbours had been so kind to hold the door for him, his stomach dropped. Alfie. Of course it was Alfie. And what made it worse was that Alfie had a guy draped around him. Yeah, they were clearly more than just friends, with the way the guy was sucking on Alfie’s neck. That could’ve been Jake.

No, now was not the time.

Fuck, he’d interrupted Alfie on a hook-up. Could this be any more humiliating? Jake knew it was all his own doing, he knew that it was his own fault Alfie had picked himself up and moved straight on, but it didn’t have to hurt so much. Why did it hurt so much?

“Um, thanks for holding the door,” Jake mumbled.

Fuck. Fuck, why did this have to happen tonight? Valentine’s Night of all nights? And why did Alfie have to be hooking up with someone?!

Jake knew he wasn’t hiding how upset he was very well when Alfie frowned at him, seemingly ignoring the guy pawing at his chest, but Jake couldn’t deal with that. No, Alfie shouldn’t be looking at him like that. It wasn’t fair.

So Jake just sent him a weak smile before running up the stairs, not daring to slow down to a walk, even though his thighs burned. He quickly fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door to his apartment, kicking it shut. Fuck. Fuck his life.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Gabe asked, frowning up from the sofa.

“Nothing,” Jake grunted.

“You’re crying,” Gabe retorted.

He was crying? Well fuck. That was even more embarrassing.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jake muttered.

He really didn’t. He didn’t want to give Gabe the satisfaction. So Jake just dumped the groceries on the kitchen counter and walked straight into his room. And as soon as the door closed, a sob tore from his throat, only making him feel more stupid. Why was he crying? Why was he this upset? He was the one that cancelled the date. He was the one that gave Alfie permission to move on from what was essentially no more than flirting in the laundry room. He was the one that turned Alfie down.

So why was he so upset?

Three knocks on his bedroom door.

“Hey, Jake?”

Go away. He didn’t want to talk.

“I’ve put the groceries away. And I’ve made you a cup of hot tea. I know you won’t open your door so I’ll leave it outside. And I don’t know what’s made you so upset but I’m here if you want to talk, okay?”

Jake just sniffed, wiping his cheeks dry. If his compassionless flatmate could understand that he was upset, there was no hope.

“Okay, well, I’m going to leave you alone now. Call me if you need anything,”

And with that, Gabe walked away, leaving Jake alone. Alone as always. And sure enough, Gabe had actually made him a cup of hot tea, with just enough milk in it to make it perfect, only making Jake’s eyes well up with tears again. Why did he have to fuck everything up? He could be the one upstairs in Alfie’s room, writhing under Alfie’s body like that random guy most likely was. But because of his own insecurities, he had ruined his chances.

And there was nothing he could do.