Personal Goals

*Kellin’s POV*

“Who the fuck is Jenna? Why does she keep calling you?” I demanded to know. I knew Vic was gay, so it wasn’t like I was jealous or anything. I was mainly just pissed that she was being such a cock block, whoever she was.

However, I didn’t expect Vic to be so quick to snatch the phone away from me.

“Shit, give me that,” he said, quickly. He looked down at his phone, looking a bit frazzled. We both looked up when there was a loud knocking coming from the front door.

“What now?” I moaned, pouting as he pushed me off of him. He got out of bed and hurried out of the room, but not before telling me to wait where I was. I scowled.

What the fuck was going on? Did he know who was at the door? He had told me to stay put, but I got up anyway, looking out the door. I couldn’t see Vic from where I was, but I heard him talking to a female. I couldn’t make out what they were saying to each other, but their tones were hushed and hostile. I watched motionlessly as Vic stepped back inside, tossing some sort of bag on the floor with one arm … and carrying a baby in the other.

My stomach just about jumped into my throat. Whose baby was that? Surely that wasn’t his baby- no, that wouldn’t make sense. I stepped out of the room, cautiously walking towards Vic as he walked back into the apartment. He froze when he saw me.

I opened my mouth to say something, to demand to know what was going on, but I noticed the baby was asleep. I didn’t want to it to wake up.

“What’s going on?” I asked him, my voice faltering a bit. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and that was when I knew the answer wasn’t going to be what I wanted to hear.

“You should probably sit down,” he said, slowly. I nodded as I sat down on the edge of the couch, my heart beating rapidly. He shifted the baby in his arms so that she was still resting comfortably in his arms as he joined me.

We were both silent for a while, as I’m sure Vic was trying to think of what to say. I wasn’t even sure what I was supposed to think of this. He had obviously kept this from me … whatever ‘this’ was.

“Is it yours?” I finally asked. He nodded slowly. Fuck.

How? How did he have a kid and not even think to tell me? It pissed me off that he was pretty much lying to me, but I somehow managed to stay calm. I still wanted to hear the rest of his story. What? Was he one of those seedy married guys that liked to cheat on his wife by experimenting? I wasn’t sure why my mind jumped to the worst possible conclusion, but it did. I felt sick.

“Please tell me you’re not cheating on anyone with me,” I said, my voice staying as serious and as even as possible. I wasn’t serious very often, but this was a time when I wanted nothing more than to be taken seriously.

“God, no,” he breathed. “I promise I’m not.”

“Then how do you have a baby?” I said, resorting to a harsh whisper so I wasn’t tempted to yell.

“Okay, just- this is kind of a long story, so hear me out,” he said. I shrugged.

“Try me,” I said.

“A little over a year ago, I was going to college near here and I had this friend. We were, like best friends, so we’d always go to parties and stuff together- everything. We were really close. This one night, we were both really drunk, and it was around this time where I was really struggling emotionally- like I was questioning whether I really was gay or not. And for the record, she suggested that we hook up in order to find out. So … we did. And, I knew right away that I didn’t like it, and I felt really stupid afterwards. I thought we’d just push past the awkwardness and move on but … “

“She got pregnant?” I finished. He nodded, taking another deep breath.

“When I found out, we got into this huge fight because she was trying to blame me for everything. She tried to say I used her, but it wasn’t my fault, you know? She thought we’d try to make a relationship work, but I just couldn’t. At the same time, I wasn’t going to just take off and leave her with no one to help her raise the baby, you know? I couldn’t do that, I was the one who got her pregnant in the first place,” he said, shifting a bit. I could tell he was really uncomfortable telling me all of this. I was still pretty much in shock, though. I wasn’t expecting that he had this much of an elaborate back story.

“So, I dropped out of college by the time she was born, because I couldn’t afford it anymore. I needed to help pay for doctor’s bills and baby clothes and diapers, not to mention child support- it was just too much. I stopped going to school and made the personal trainer gig a full time thing. And so, here we are,” he sighed, signaling that he had finished his story. He looked sad. “If you want to leave, I understand.”

“I’m not going to leave,” I said, defensively. “What makes you think I’d leave? I’m pissed that you didn’t tell me, yeah, but I’m not just going to leave.”

He looked a little surprised that I said that, and I wondered if there was someone that had left him before.

“I didn’t think you’d want to deal with the baggage,” he shrugged. “I had a date with this guy a couple of months ago and I told him right off the bat, and he never called me back.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. He shrugged. That aside, I just really wanted to push past the awkward and get to a point where we could be comfortable. “How old is she?”

“Six months,” he said, looking down at the little girl he held. There was something really admirable about the way he looked at her. I could tell he really loved her. “Her name is Jessica. I call her Jess, though.”

“That’s cute,” I offered. “I’m guessing Jenna is her mom?”

“Yeah,” he sighed, a little annoyed. I guessed their relationship still wasn’t a good one. “She decided to not tell me she was dropping her off today. I had no idea she was coming until they showed up. I couldn’t say no because I rarely get to see her as it is and-“

“Vic, it’s okay,” I assured him, resting a hand on his shoulder. He relaxed and smiled at me.

“I don’t give you enough credit, Kells, you’re the best,” he chuckled. I smiled proudly.

“What do you mean not enough credit?”

“I mean, I was really expecting you to storm out and that I’d never see you again,” he explained. I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, I’m more mature than that,” I scoffed, playfully.

“Yeah, you’re so mature-“ he teased. He was interrupted by the sound of Jess waking up. He looked down as she wriggled in his arms, making sounds like she was about to cry or something.

“Is she okay?” I asked. It was probably a dumb question, but whatever. I didn’t know anything about babies.

“Yeah, she’s just waking up,” he said, as she grabbed onto his shirt with one of her little hands and used the other one to grab a handful of his hair. “Ow, Jess, no.”

He winced and gently pried her fingers.

“Are you okay?” I chuckled.

“Yeah, she’s got quite a grip though,” he said. “She’s been doing that a lot lately. She just grabs and pulls.”

“Ouch,” I sighed.

“Here, do you want to hold her for a minute?” he asked.

“Um, well-“ I muttered, not sure what to say as he handed her to me anyway. I had to admit, it made me really nervous, because I had never held a baby before. He showed me how to hold her before telling me he’d be right back.

And the little shit did not want to sit still. I tried to keep her steady as I held her because I was terrified of dropping her. I bit my lip in frustration as she pulled at my shirt and started crying.

“What’s wrong?” Vic asked, coming back into the room, a blanket over his arm.

“I don’t know, I didn’t do anything,” I whined, stressed that she was still crying. Why was she crying?

“Hold on,” he said, laying the blanket out on the floor before taking her from me. He kissed the top of her head before bringing her down to the floor and placing her on the blanket. “There we go, that’s better.”

He took a seat at the edge of the blanket as I watched.

“Does she crawl?” I asked. He shook his head.

“She tries, though,” he said, smiling as he watched her roll onto her stomach and try to push herself up. She really was cute, though.

I ended up not leaving Vic’s until really late that night. We had dinner and talked and played with Jess and talked some more. It wasn’t at all how expected our day to go. In all honesty, I didn’t think I was going to be clothed most of the time, but what can you do?

The fact that he had a kid still blew me away, but that didn’t change the person he was, right? I mean, if anything, it just made him more attractive. I secretly liked watching him every time he had to get up to get something for her, or to feed her. It made him seem more mature, I guess. That and you could tell how caring and affectionate he was. I had no idea what I was getting myself into by trying a relationship with a guy who had a child, who happened to be a personal trainer hired by my mom. I decided I didn’t care, though. I could handle this.

I think.