Personal Goals

*Vic’s POV*
With everything that could go wrong happening all at once, it felt like my brain just shut down. I felt numb- like I wanted to just scream and cry and run away from it all but I knew I couldn’t do that. I didn’t really come back to reality until I felt Kellin tugging on my arm.

“Vic, come on, let’s get out of here,” he begged. I looked at him and fr
owned. What was he doing with all of those bags?

“I need to go,” I muttered, barely audible. I wordlessly picked up my things before turning back to him. He looked sad. “What are you doing?”

“I’m coming with you,” he said sadly.

“You can’t come with me,” I told him, pushing past and heading upstairs. Hopefully I would miss his mother on the way out. This really fucking sucked, but it was my fault anyway. I shouldn’t have let Kellin so close to me like that.

“I have to,” He insisted, following me from the front door.

“Kellin-“

“Well that’s just too bad, isn’t it, Kellin?” his mom interrupted me. We both turned to see her standing in the front hallway, watching us with this really disproving look.

“Mom-“ he started to say, but she interrupted him, too.

“No, don’t call me that,” she hissed. “You made this decision. You need to deal with the consequences. Pathetic, isn’t it? Your gay lover doesn’t even want you.”

That was more than I needed to hear before I grabbed one of Kellin’s bags for him and slung it over my free shoulder.

“He’s coming with me,” I mumbled, finally getting through the door and making my way to the car. Silently, I put Kellin’s bags in the trunk and put my own on the back seat.

I drove away as quick as I could. Once we had been driving a while, I glanced over at Kellin who had tears rolling down his cheeks.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

“No, I’m not fucking okay!” he shouted, sounding hysterical. “I wanted to get out of there, but I didn’t think she actually wanted me gone. She thinks I’m ruining her life.”

“How are you ruining her life?” I wanted to know. At the same time, I thought that if I kept the conversation going with him, it would distract me from my own worries.

“She says that she’s trying to be accepting, but the fact that I have sex isn’t helping,” he explained. “Which doesn’t make sense because, like- she can’t tell me it’s okay to be gay, but not to have gay sex.”
“You’re right, that doesn’t make any sense,” I said. It really didn’t. I was beginning to think that Kellin’s mom was one of those rich ladies that only seemed accepting to keep up an image or something. I knew she seemed friendly at first, but Kellin had told me a while ago that his parents rarely spoke to him anymore.
“So where are we going, this isn’t the way to your apartment?” he pointed out. Well, so much for not having to talk about my problems.

“We’re going to Jenna’s house,” I sighed. “I have to pick up Jess and a few of her things.”

“So you’re really getting full custody? That’s a good thing, right?” he wanted to know. I shrugged.

“It’s a great thing, but . . . I’m just worried that I won’t be able to afford it,” I admitted.

“Doesn’t she have to pay child support or something?” he said. I guess that was partially true.

“Yeah, but I doubt she’ll be able to any time soon. Her parents will probably bail her out of jail, and then she’ll have fines and she barely has a job-“

“So how is she taking care of her anyway?”

“She lives with her parents,” I reminded him. “They do everything for her.”

“Ask your parents for help,” he suggested. I understood that he was just trying to help, but his questions were really starting to stress me out.

“My parents are in San Diego . . . I mean, I’m sure they would help if they could it’s just tough,” he sighed. He let out a long sigh as well and slid back in his seat. I felt bad, but I honestly had no idea what to do. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now, but if you want to stay with me you’re going to have to get a job.”

“I know that,” he said, defensively. He sat back up and crossed his arms over his chest. “Do you really think I was planning on being a freeloader?”

“I didn’t think you planned anything,” I pointed out. He shrugged.

“Touché,” he said, looking out the window as I turned into the McDougalls’ driveway. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No,” I said, probably coming across a little too harsh. I reached over and squeezed his thigh as I pecked his nose with my lips. “As in, they already hate everything about me, and I’d rather not bring you into it.”

“They hate you?” he asked, sounding surprised. I had to chuckle at that.

“Well, yeah, I’m the guy that got their daughter knocked up out of wedlock,” I said, wincing at how blunt it was. It was true though. “And the fact that I’m gay is just icing on the cake.”

“Oh,” was all Kellin responded with. I gave him another quick kiss, feigning confidence before I got out of the car. To be honest, I was so nervous- especially when I noticed an extra car in their driveway. I assumed it was the car of a social worker or lawyer. I wasn’t very good with all the technicalities of things but at the end of the day, Jenna was spending the night in jail and her parents didn’t have custody of Jess- I did.

I took a deep breath before knocking on the front door.

A few seconds later, it swung open and Jenna’s dad was standing in the doorway. He didn’t look as angry as he usually was. Or, maybe he was still angry, but I didn’t feel like it was directed at me for once.

“Come in,” he said, in a dull voice. I nodded and followed him inside to where Jenna’s mom and her lawyer sat in the living room. They had Jess on a blanket on the floor so they could keep an eye on her while they talked. I kept in mind to say as little as possible as I made my way over and sat by the edge of the blanket.

“Hey baby girl,” I said as she rolled onto her stomach. I smiled as she kind of propped herself up to look at me, smiling right away. I always took a lot of pride in how happy she always was to see me. Right as I was about to look away to say something to Mrs. McDougall, I noticed Jess moving towards me. I gasped audibly- she was crawling!

“Oh my god, she’s crawling!” I said, excitedly, scooping her up in my arms as she got to me. Mrs. McDougall rolled her eyes.

“She’s been doing that for a few days now,” she said in a bored voice. I frowned.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I wanted to know.

“Why does it matter now? You’re going to get all of her other firsts-“

“Ma’am,” her lawyer interrupted, as a reminder that anything she said could affect the pending custody battle.

“Oh, like Jenna’s ever going to get her back now,” she said, pessimistically. “She’s such an idiot.”
I didn’t respond to that.

“Here you go,” I heard Mr. McDougall say. I turned around to see that he had brought out a suitcase and a diaper bag. “Here’s a good amount of stuff. I think we can probably arrange for you to get the rest of it some other time.”

“Thank you,” I told him, quietly.

“Might I remind you that we still have the upcoming court date-“

“If I’m being honest, I don’t even want Jenna to win. Even I think she’s irresponsible,” he grumbled. I just sort of stood up and adjusted how I was holding Jess so I could pick up some things. “Let m help you with that.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled as he followed me outside to my car. I opened the back seat so that I could strap her into the car seat.

“Who’s he?” Jenna’s dad wanted to know. He nodded towards Kellin.

“Um . . . boyfriend,” I said, quietly. “He’s a good guy.”

“I hope so,” he mumbled, handing me the suitcase so I could load that into the car too. He was about to turn to leave when I stopped him.

“Um, I’ll keep you in the loop with everything,” I offered. He nodded. After all, it wasn’t Jenna’s parents who were irresponsible- that was Jenna. I knew they just wanted what was best for her. They knew that living with me would be the best.

“I appreciate that,” he finally said, and gave me a friendly nod before finally walking back into the house. I quickly got back into the car.

“How’d it go?” Kellin asked.

“better than I thought,” I shrugged. “They’re mainly upset with Jenna-“

“Obviously,” he interjected.

“But on the bright side, guess who’s crawling now?”

“Really? That’s awesome,” he said, smiling. I actually smiled too, which gave me a little hope that this was all going to work out somehow.