If I Knew

The Olympic rosters were announced in January, nearly six months since orientation camp had occurred. Marc didn't make the men's team but Felicia did make the womens team. She called Marc as soon as she got the news.

"I did it!" She shouted when he answered.

He felt his heart swell with pride. "Congratulations," Marc laughed at her enthusiasm, as excited for her as she was herself.

"Did you?"

"No, not this time."

"I'm sorry, Marc."

"Don't be. I'm proud of you, Flea. And now I don't have to worry about how to catch all your games while focusing on my own."

"You're going to go?"

"If you want me to."

"I want you too," she replied shyly. Even now, six months into her relationship with Marc, it still felt weird. The boy she hated was now the man she loved.

"You should call Jordan. None of us made the team."

"None of you? Not even Eric?"

"Nope. But I swear we are all proud of you."

"Thanks. I'll see you Thursday?"

"Of course. You are going to cheer for me, right?"

"I'm thinking about it."

"Just thinking about it?"

"You know I'm a Boston girl. I've been living here for five years after all. And I've never cheered for the Rangers anyway."

"Why not?"

"Duh! Because you play for the Rangers and you hated me."

"Not anymore though. I love you."

"Ditto," she laughed.

"I can't wait until I get to be the supportive boyfriend in the stands. Now call Jordan and share your news with him."

"I'll call you later."

"I'll be waiting."

They hung up and she called Jordan, who spent the first ten minutes of the call whining about how she had called Marc first and not him. Jordan was only sixty eight percent jealous that Marc had been her first call. He was still getting used to the idea of Felicia and Marc being together, and being replaced as her go to Staal.

So more like he was eighty three percent jealous.

"I'm your best friend, Fe!"

"And Marc is my boyfriend. He sort of trumps you now."

"Whatever. You've been my friend for twenty six years. He's only been your boyfriend for six months. I still trump him. And why Marc anyways? At least Jared was nice to you growing up."

It was a question Jordan had never asked. He trusted Felicia's judgement and he knew Marc was serious about her because he had asked him. He had interrogated Marc at the breakfast table the day after the nightclub incident at camp and demanded to know his intentions. His first instinct was to protect Felicia, to make sure any guy who wanted to be the guy passed his test and gained his approval.

Marc had passed the test with flying colors. Sure, it was his brother but when it came to Felicia, blood meant nothing. Marc was nothing more than a guy trying to get in his best friends pants. Marc laid his feelings out, bared his soul so to speak, and Jordan was impressed.

He had never stopped to consider that one day Marc or Felicia would rethink their feelings about the other and start dating. He always assumed they'd go through life at odds with each other, not falling in love with each other. He trusted Marc to take care of her, to never hurt her. He had no no doubts that Felicia would care for Marc, always keep him at the front of her heart but he had never actually asked her about Marc though.

"Are you saying that you don't like me and Marc together?" Felicia asked. "You don't support my decision to date your brother?"

"I did not say that."

"You didn't not say that."

She knew they hadn't talked about this and maybe they should have because she suspected she knew exactly what this was about. Jordan would never say it but sharing her life with a Staal that wasn’t him was probably one of a hundred things he never expected to happen in life. And of the people in life he thought Felicia would share her life, she was pretty sure Jordan (and every other person who really knew her) figured that Marc fell somewhere below Hitler and cockroaches so she pressed on.

"You know I love you, right Jordy?"

"I know," he sighed.

"And I love Marc too. He makes me happy. Really happy. But I'm not replacing you. I can never replace you. You will always be my best friend. Marc could be everything but he could never be you. No one could ever make me laugh the way you do, or know all my secrets. And there will never be anyone but you that I would want to get into trouble with." Jordan chuckled and Felicia could feel his goofy grin through the phone.

"It's just weird, y'know? You hated each other and now you're in love or whatever. And how does that even work? You're in Boston, he's in New York. You don't even see each other."

“It’s called long distance, Jordan. Lots of people do it.”

“But everything is good? He hasn’t been a jackass, has he?”

“Define jackass.”

“I’m serious, Fe. He treats you right? Because I’ll tell mom if he isn’t.”

“Of course he treats me right, Jordy. You think I wouldn't have told your mom by now if he wasn’t?”

“Have you had a fight?”

“A few.”

There had been some ups and downs, especially once the hockey season truly kicked off. Trying to find the right balance for their careers and each other had taken work in the beginning but eventually, they figured it out because it was worth it. So they found time to talk every day, they found time to skype, whether he was home in the city or on the road. Because it was easier for Felicia to get away from Boston, she had gone to New York at least once a month since they had returned to the states.

It helped that Felicia knew and understood the daily grind of Marc’s life, given her own dedication to the sport. She was never offended if his time was short, and he knew that if her time was limited, it was never anything personal. Their relationship was the most important but their hockey was a close second.

"If he hurts you, I will kill him," Jordan promised.

"He knows Jordy. And it's different now. We're different people."

"I know. It's still weird though. You and Marc? Did you really think that one day that you would be calling Marc your boyfriend?"

Felicia laughed. "No, I never thought I would. But then your brother took advantage of a drunk girl and-"

"I knew it! Hailey! I told you Marc took advantage of her!" She heard Jordan bellow.

Felicia laughed. "He didn't take advantage of me, Jordy. I was joking. It was very mutual."

"Ewww! Fe! I did not want to know that."

"Well now you do.”

“Gross.”



When Wednesday rolled around, Felicia spent her day preparing for the game that night that the Blades had. As the girls skated out onto the ice, they noticed a commotion in the stands. They tried concentrating on their warm-ups but were distracted nonetheless.

"What's going on?" Felicia asked Melissa, the backup goalie as she came to a stop beside her.

"Apparently some of the New York Rangers are here. They play the Bruins tomorrow. They must have gotten into town early."

Felicia's eyes flew to the stands and she scanned the crowd, her face breaking into a smile when they landed on Marc. He looked up then and their eyes met. He grinned sheepishly at her and lifted his hand in a small wave.

She waved back before turning back to warm-ups. "You know those guys?" Jessie asked. She was a rookie, an up and coming forward with talent to spare.

"Marc is my boyfriend," Felicia admitted, knowing the whole team would know now. It was the first time she had told any of her teammates outside of Kelly.

"Shut up! You're dating a Ranger?"

"I grew up with the Staal's. Jordan is my best friend."

Jessie squealed excitedly, drawing the attention of some of the other girls. "What's wrong?" Abby, the captain asked.

"Fe is dating a Ranger! Did you know that?"

"A Ranger? Like a New York Ranger?" Abby asked.

"A Staal!" Jessie added. "She's dating Marc Staal and he's here, to watch us play!"

"I didn't know he was coming," Felicia spoke up. "Marc hasn't seen me play in years."

"You've never mentioned having a boyfriend," Abby said.

"I don't like to advertise my connection to the Staal's."

"Well how long have you been dating then?"

"Six months."

"Six months?! You've been hiding the fact that you have a boyfriend for six months?" Jessie exclaimed.

"Fe has a boyfriend?" Melissa asked. "Since when?"

"Since six months ago apparently," Abby told her.

"Guess we better all show off, put on a really great show tonight.”

Late in the second period, a trip sent Felicia sprawling across the ice and into the boards. She hit her shoulder hard, cursing in pain. She was slow to get up, clutching her left shoulder with her right hand as she got off the ice. She went straight to the room, the team doctor meeting her there.

“That needs to be x-rayed, Miss Todd,” Dr. Jeffries said after he examined her.

Felicia frowned. “Seriously? Can't you just pop it back in?”

“I’m sorry, Felicia. I think it’s separated and your clavicle might be broken. That was a hard hit and you've had trouble with that shoulder before. I’d like you to go in for observation overnight.”

“I didn't hit my head though!”

“I don't want to take any chances. Let’s get you in the ambulance, okay?”

Felicia nodded and stood, wincing as they walked out of the room where she found Marc waiting in the hall. “Hey...are you okay?” he asked with concern, falling into step with her. He had seen injuries before, his teammates, his brothers, even his own. Never had he felt the air rush from his body and his heart seize in panic the way it did as he watched Felicia's body slam into the boards. He had been out of his seat and moving out of the row before she stood and he was down the stairs and looking for a way to get to her as she skated off the ice, leaving his teammates behind in the stands.

“They want me to go to the hospital overnight for observation. Doc thinks I have a separated shoulder, maybe a broken clavicle. I just gotta grab a couple things and the ambulance will take me.”

“I’ll follow in your car.” They came to a stop outside the locker room and Marc kissed the top of her head. “Whatever you need, Flea.”

“Thanks, Marc,” she smiled.

“I’ll wait right here.” She nodded and couldn't help the tears that slipped down her cheek. Marc gathered her to him carefully and held her. “It’s going to be fine. You’re the toughest girl I know. This isn’t going to stop you.”

“What if I can’t go to the Olympics? If it’s a broken clavicle and I need surgery, that’s three months minimum.”

“I’ll still be proud of you. And Jordan will still be proud of you. And my parents, and your parents. We will all still be proud of you.”

She sniffled and buried her face against his chest, not caring that her tears were staining Marc’s shirt. He rubbed her back and let Felicia have her moment. Even though he wasn’t having the best season and not expecting the call, he was still sad not to get to play for his country. He had had the chance to prepare for that though and Felicia had maybe just had the rug pulled out from under her instead.

She breathed deeply and pulled away from Marc. “I’m glad you’re here,” she said softly.

“Get changed and get your stuff,” Marc prodded her gently. She nodded and Marc leaned down to kiss her. “I love you.”

“Ditto,” she smiled before disappearing behind the door.