If I Was the One

They were teammates but James Neal hated him. Flat out, with a passion, hated Jordan Staal.

On the ice, at practice, in the locker room, he could put it aside, for the greater good of the team (and because, well, being a Penguin was a whole hell of a lot better than being a Star), but when he was at home, he stewed. When they were out on the road, he fumed. And it had been getting harder and harder to keep it all in check. For a year and a half he had watched from the sidelines and for a year and a half he had bit back a thousand things he would have liked to say.

Maybe he wasn’t any better than Jordan, with a revolving door of conquests in and out of his own bed but those girls knew what they were signing up for. They didn’t expect a relationship from him or anything else in return save for an orgasm or two. But he felt certain that if he met the right girl, he’d change. He was certain Bonnie McClure was that girl.

She had been in Jordan’s life before James ever set foot in Pittsburgh. Hell, she had been in all their lives. She was Mario Lemieux’s personal assistant and off limits to the team. That however did not stop Jordan. Instead, it was the worst kept secret amongst the players and even Mario himself but so long as it wasn’t interfering with Bonnie being able to do her job, everyone turned a blind eye.

Bonnie was laid back and relaxed around all the guys, funny, easygoing. She knew the sport, her dad a former player so she understood the life, had lived the life already. She was the first person James met when he and Matt Niskanen landed in Pittsburgh and she was nice enough to help them both find places to live that first month. She had driven him around to house after house until he found the one.

If he were honest, ninety percent of why he picked that house was because he could tell how much Bonnie liked it the minute they rolled into the driveway. And the deal was sealed for him when she oohed over the inside, pointing out little things throughout the house James would have never noticed on his own.

He had gone into practice the day after signing the lease on the house with an ear to ear smile. Evgeni Malkin had asked him why he was so happy and he tried to play it off but eventually Geno got it out of him that Bonnie had helped him find a place to live.

That was when he was let into the “secret” and it was when he first began to develop a strong distaste for Jordan. By April the distaste had grown to definite dislike. Sure, getting bounced in game seven of the first round of the playoffs, at home, was never a good thing. They were all mad about the way the season ended. Most of the guys went out a couple nights later and Bonnie had joined them. Jordan had dismissed and ignored her the minute she had walked in, flirting up a bevy of blondes through the night before eventually leaving with one.

James had watched her, her face a careful mask of her emotions. A few of the guys gave her sympathetic looks and tried to steer her into happy and light hearted conversations, taking her attention away from Jordan. James wanted to punch the blond more than anything but in the end, he decided that Bonnie must know what she was choosing to deal with when it came to her relationship with Jordan. It was obviously complicated but she chose to keep coming back for more. James didn’t understand that but maybe that was just her choice. He pushed it to the back of his mind and took home a redhead that night instead.

Over the summer, he heard from his teammates rumblings that Jordan had gotten serious with his girl back home, that he had even proposed. He didn’t believe it, not until Jordan had arrived back in Pittsburgh and announced the news himself to the team. There were congratulations all around for him and James immediately wondered about Bonnie, whether she knew or not.

He quickly found out that she did not know and that Jordan was somehow keeping the news from her, picking up with her where they had last left off, the incident from the end of the season before long forgotten. James tried to tell himself that any self respecting person would not put themselves through the wringer for Jordan Staal and he tried to push it all to the back of his mind.

It was a cause not worth fighting though. He couldn't stop thinking about Bonnie. Her toothy smile or her cute little giggle that rivaled Crosby’s. He couldn’t stop wondering about whether her lips were as soft as they looked, or what her long brown hair, almost always in a swinging, bouncing pony tail, would feel wrapped around his hand.

He thought about asking her why she put up with Jordan when she had so much more to offer, so much more to give. Instead, he kept his mouth shut and stewed.

On the road, Jordan was the same as the man he had met the season before, picking up girls wherever they went, regular girls in a city or two. In Pittsburgh, that girl was Bonnie and it stayed that way, Jordan keeping her in a bubble.

Until the day it popped.

It was February and James had signed a new contact with the Penguins three days before. The guys were finally getting a chance to celebrate it and they had headed out to their favorite local bar for beers. By sheer coincidence, Bonnie and some of her friends had been there and James had invited them to join them. They were toasting his contract when they heard a high pitched voice squeal Jordan’s name across the room. In a blur, the woman belonging to the voice had dashed across the bar and Jordan was scooping her up in his arms and kissing her for all he was worth. When he set her down, her introduced her to the group.

The fiance.

James looked at Bonnie as soon as Jordan opened his mouth and saw the emotions fly through her eyes. Hurt, pain, anger, sadness. In the commotion of the guys meeting the fiance for the first time, Bonnie slipped away without a word. No one noticed.

Except James.

He followed her through the bar and down a dimly lit hall where the bathrooms were. He reached for her arm, touching her lightly. She jumped at his touch and turned, swiping at the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. James gathered her to him without a second thought.

“You know he never deserved you, right? He’s an ass. Never should have been looking elsewhere when you were right here. You’re perfect, Bonnie. It really is him, not you. It’s not a cliche; it’s the truth.”

“I’m fine, Nealer. Just had something in my eye.”

“Don’t lie to me. I never thought he deserved you but I kept my mouth shut and I wish I hadn’t. Not now. You’re the girl we all wish we could find and he had you. I wish I had you.”

He started at her intently, not for a minute regretting the words that he had just spoken as she stared back at him, wide eyed.

“James, I...”

He kissed her before she could say anything else. He had waited for this moment, longed for it even. He felt her stiffen in response but then, she relaxed against him and her hands slipped into his hair, tugging the ends around her fingers. James knew right then and there that he had died and gone to heaven. He lifted her to him and he steered them deeper into the hall and braced her against the wall as he gave in to every wish he had about kissing her.

When they broke apart, they were both flushed and James gently set her down, never taking his arms off of her. “I won’t make you cry. I want to hold you, kiss away your tears.You’d never be lonely with me. I’d give you love in these arms. These arms will always be yours.”

“You want me, after all of this?”s

“I’ve always wanted you. But if all you want is a friend, then I will respect that. I’m willing to give you more though. I’m willing to give you everything, something he never did.”

“You know your reputation is no better than his,” she pointed out.

“I know, but I want to be a better man. I want to be a better person for you.”

“Do you know that you’re probably one of the few guys I truly consider a friend? That you’re one of the only guys that has never made a pass at me? I believe you, James. And I’m going to trust you with my heart.”

“I will take care of it as long as you take care of mine.”

“It will be my number one priority,” Bonnie promised.

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Please?”

James nodded. “Let me pay my tab. Did you drive?”

“Yes.”

“Meet me back at my house.”

“Okay.”

He kissed her again and she melted into him. James reveled in the feeling. “Twenty minutes.”

“Twenty minutes. I’ll be waiting,” she smirked.

“I can’t wait.”

FIN