Without You, There is No Me

It had been one week. One week since that awful night in Kellin's living room, one week since Vic broke his heart, and one week since Kellin had to learn how to start living alone. It wasn't easy, on a good night he was able to convince himself that Vic just needed time and that he'd come back to tell him it was all a mistake and that he still loved him. The bad nights, however, he spent restlessly tangled in the sheets, wondering without finding much solace in sleep.

It wasn't as if Kellin's life had revolved around Vic, the kind-hearted male had many friends, some of which had been around longer than Vic. It was just the idea of adjusting to a life without Vic that was causing him some inconvenience, and for the time being he had chosen to withdraw somewhat from the others around him, just until he learned how to heal from this.

There would come a time when Kellin would have to tell people of the split between the pair, that he knew was a definite. Though, he wanted to be emotionally prepared enough to handle what he knew would be without a doubt a huge shock throughout their tight-knit circle of friends. The duo were know as inseparable, conjoined at the hip it had seemed on most occasions, and never without wide smiles etched onto their faces.

A deep sighed forced it's way between his lips, thinking about this stuff only made him feel all the more miserable. It was getting easier, with time passing by and he was slowly accepting the fact that Vic wouldn't be calling him to apologize for making such a rash decision, Kellin needed to move on with his life like Vic already had.

First, he started with cleaning all of Vic's stuff out of his room. This task had been easy yet extremely difficult. It was easy to know that Kellin was finally getting himself started in the right direction, it was almost a freeing feeling. However, seeing all of Vic's stuff slowly starting to pile into the cardboard box that he picked up after work was causing a slight ache within him, but he wasn't about to cave. Vic wanted out so Kellin was going to give it to him.

Once he completed that task, he shoved the box into the corner of one of his hall closets. He'd get around to dropping it to Vic eventually, he just wasn't too keen on the idea of talking to the older male at this point.

After locking himself away for the past week, he decided it would be better for him to get out, go have fun with a few of his friends. Wasting away in the solitude of his room had gotten real old real fast, it wasn't doing much to help him feel better either. Despite not having a large history of being a hardcore party goer like most of the people he knew, Kellin was willing to spend a night out to drink and forget all his troubles for the night.

Kellin reached for his phone and lazily scrolled through his contacts, there was still a small part of him that felt as if he was pressuring himself into something he wasn't ready for. Maybe he wasn't ready to get back out there, it had only been a week, and it wasn't like it was his call that had ended everything.

Silencing the nagging voice in the back of his head, he pressed down on his friend's name and listened to the ringing on the other end of the phone.

"Kellin, man. What's up?" Justin's voice sounded through after the fourth ring. "I haven't heard from you in a while."

"I know, sorry." Kellin apologized lamely, his finger drawing various shapes into the fabric of his old couch he was sitting on. "I've just been going through some stuff and I just needed some time." He elaborated, the hundredth sigh of the day quickly following.

"Well, I hope things are good. Do you need help with something?" That was one thing that Kellin always appreciated about Justin, he was a genuine friend when he felt that there was someone who needed it.

"No- I mean, kind of but like not like that." He mentally cursed himself for screwing up such a simple question. "Look, I was just wondering if I could get together with you and the guys the next time you all went out or something."

"What is this I'm hearing? Does Kellin actually want to come out and party with the rest of us for once?" Just teased, a soft chuckle could be heard over on his end of the call. "I'm just fucking around. A bunch of us were actually planning on heading to party that a pal from work is having. You can tag along with us if you want."

"Yeah, that sounds like it'd be great." Kellin agreed without putting much thought into it, a genuine smile crossed his lips at the thought of escaping the emotional prison that he had managed to turn his house into.

"Great then I'll see you in a few days." He seemed happy to know that Kellin wasn't detaching himself from everyone anymore, and that the rave haired make was actually asking to go out partying. Justin had begged what must have been a million times before, but eventually gave up after being shut down so much. "Oh, you can bring Vic if you want." Justin tacked on thoughtlessly.

The brief smile was fleeting from Kellin's face in an instant, not that he could blame Justin or his harmless comment, that happened to be the whole reason that he needed this party night so desperately.

There was a lapse of silence that overcame the two, the awkward feeling setting in within a mere few seconds. This was unusual for the two of them and didn't go unnoticed by his close friend, "Kellin, is there something you need to tell me?"

"No, no, everything is fine." The words flew from with mouth within an instant. "I'll- uh, I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Alright, man." With a click the call had ended, it didn't go as smoothly as he would have liked for it to have, but at least he had managed to do what he set out to do.

With the party occupying a large part of Kellin's mind, the next few days flew by in a breeze, before he knew it it was time for him to start getting ready to meet up with Justin. Despite having a small twist of nerves in the pit of his stomach, Kellin was actually quite excited to have some plans for the evening.

The ringing of his phone broke him from his train of thoughts, startling him slightly for a moment. "Hello?" He answered once he settled himself down.

"Dude, I hope you didn't forget about tonight. If you think I'm letting your ass worm out of this after you finally agreed then you're dead wrong. I'll drag you there if I have to." Justin's voice came pouring through the speaker, his voice joking with a slight touch of seriousness.

"Hello to you too." Kellin muttered softly, a soft laugh showing he didn't take offense to his friend's doubts about him. "Relax, I didn't forget. I'm not worming my way out of anything."

"Alright good. I'm just letting you know that I'm serious about getting you to enjoy yourself." He could hear Justin yell something to someone else, though the words were lost to him. "Anyway, I'm coming to get you just to be sure you're not going to bail, so be ready because the party starts in an hour and we're bringing the beer."

True to his word, Justin had arrived in front of Kellin's house and the two of them set off for the night preparing for what was described as 'the time of their lives'. They, of course, stopped for the beer that Justin had promised his co-worker they would bring. Soon enough, the back seat of Justin's car was stacked with at several cases of various types of alcohol. Not being much of a drinker, Kellin didn't have a preference.

"So, who's your friend anyway?" Kellin asked, looking over at his old friend with curiosity.

"His name is Alex, cool dude. I'm sure you'll like him, he's pretty laid back." Justin explained, watching the street signs as they cruised down an unfamiliar street.

"You'd have to be to throw a party like this huh?" Kellin asked as they turned down what he assumed was Alex's street. This assumption was proven true when loud music could be heard as they drive up the block. Kellin could almost feel the ground vibrating as he stepped out of the car and made his way towards the house.