The Tale of Him

It ended as it began, with sadness, although I do recall some sweet memories laced in between the sorrow the majority of this was an endless succession of painful losses, the losses of being a creature of life and joy, the losses of being human.

This begins as a story of loneliness, yes I can see him now, sitting there, longing for a purpose to be, to exist. There was nothing for him though, although the world around him was green and lush, and full of love and happiness, all he saw was a world painted in black and grey. A world full of dead trees, dark clouds, a place where children don't laugh, singers don't sing and dreamers don't dream. This was the world he lived in, until he thought of a grand idea.

I depart from this portion of the tale to spin a different yarn, a tale of sweet innocence, sweet innocence being crushed, with the heavy, sad weight of reality, and the hardships faced he faced as a child, the hardships that would change him forever. There he sat in his yard, playing with his favorite toy, his imagination. In the yard all around him was dinosaurs grazing in the grass and soaring in the air, and there was space men flying in huge mighty rockets, and his all time favorite, super heroes, there was nothing he loved more than to pretend he was a super hero. His mother was just a figure, a shape, just an entity that was simply just, there. On the stormy cold night he was born, there was a ferocious lightning storm with monstrous booming thunder that shattered the night into a million frightened pieces. His father rushed to the hospital to see his wife through childbirth, as he sped down the slick treacherous there came a sharp turn that caused his speeding car to tumble off the road and into a nearby river, he perished in the roll down. She wasn't informed until the day after the tragedy took place. As you can imagine, this was quite tragic for her, she sobbed and wept and mourned for an eternity it seemed. As the years went on, she slowly began to blame him for the death of his father, her husband. Although she never had a good reason for the blame she put on him, it was always there, building inside her, slowly boiling into hatred. She never did anything to him, she just ignored him, there was no motherly love to be found, most folks agree that that was worse than any physical abuse she could have inflicted on him. At the age of seven, something quite odd took place. As he lied motionless on the floor, escaping into his thoughts, he felt a cold wet bony hand squeezing his own in a pleading needful manner. As he opened his eyes, he looked upon the woman he once knew as his mother. As she sat there crying and without speaking, begging him for the affection,understanding, and love she never showed him, he pulled away from her and left the room without speaking a word. Did he feel remorse or pity? No not even a hint of regret entered his conscience. Although that moment haunted him the entire day, and every day of his life, he did not speak or acknowledge her, just as it has always been since he could remember. As he stared at his ceiling from his bed, he pondered the day, not what had happened concerning his mother, but what it life would be like if he lived with dinosaurs, or maybe if he was a super hero, these thoughts were always floating about in his mind. While thinking these wonderful thoughts, a grey cloud loomed over his bed side, it was his mother, drunk, with whisky tears flowing down her cold dead face, she sat on his bed, she then took his hand in her own, squeezed it, leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, and parted with an I love you and sweet dreams. More shocked than anything, he stared into her cold grey eyes for the longest time, and those eyes were burned into his memories forever. It took him a while, but he eventually escaped those haunting eyes, as he slept peacefully in his dreams. Out of nowhere came an earth shattering Bam! Followed by a loud lifeless thud, thrusted mercilessly out of his dream, he sat erect, with sweat beads rolling down his face, he slowly got out of bed to investigate. As he walked towards the origin of the sound, he noticed things he never noticed before, how the floor creaked, he noticed a draft of cold soul chilling wind that danced ever so delicately through the house. As he came into the living room he saw a lump lying on the floor, as he approached it, he realized it was his mother, around her was a pool of her own blood, he saw the moons reflection in the pool of blood, shimmering majestically in the read sea of blood. He saw in her hand, an empty whisky bottle in her hand, with dark red lipstick stains around the bottles head, in the other hand, he saw a gun, he saw the thin blue smoke curling up out of the long dark barrel of doom. As he stood there, staring at the pool of blood, at the moons reflection in the blood, he realized, he was all alone, he had no mother, no father, no family, no friends, no one, and in this moment of realization, he died on the inside.

Something that caught his attention at the long and boring doctors visits he made weekly was a pill that was only discussed once. Even though it was only spoken of once, he vividly remembered what it did, it was made to help one sleep, the sleeping pill. It struck him like a lightning bolt, the best idea of his life, and this idea did something for him, it made him smile, it actually made him have a genuine smile, and a sense of hope and peace. This spectacular idea of his was to take enough sleeping pills to keep him asleep for his entire lifetime, then he could escape into his dreams with the superheros, and the dinosaurs, and space men, maybe then he would never have to wake up again to the painful life he lived in. After his long day he ran to the nearest store and like a child in a candy store, he purchased as many sleeping pill bottles as he could afford. As he sat relaxed on his couch, he began to notice things, he noticed a comforting warmth coming over him, he felt his heart pumping with eager excitement, he noticed how his hands trembled with anticipation, he took the pill bottles and emptied them into his mouth with a few swigs of water in between. He lied on his bed, smiled and let out a deep sigh of relief and calm. As he opened his eyes he found himself in his dreams, dreams of super heroes and dinosaurs and space men, as he took in the scenery, he smiled, and knew this is where he should be, as he slowly walked off into the horizon .They found him the next day, with a comforting smile on his face, he finally made it, he was free, he could rest in peace now.