Fear Me, Dear

Waking up, at first I am disorientated. Whatever I am lying on is unfamiliar, but right now I couldn't care less. Currently, I feel rather calm lying here with my eyes closed. It's odd when you feel most comfortable when you are oblivious to the world. Floating around in a void of nothingness. I can hear mumbles around me and footsteps near and far, but as my eyes remain closed it's just noise in the darkness. My arm is starting to feel dead, so I roll over whilst mumbling some incoherent jumble of words, but it's probably just noise. As I once again get comfortable, I let out a content sigh. This is nice. There is the nagging thought in the back of mind saying that I should be in lessons, questioning why I'm here. I push it aside though, because it's not that important...is it? Regardless, I let myself rest peacefully in the darkness.

Darkness.

Scrunching my face up, I attempt to brush off the sense of fear that seems to be creeping into my mind. A pair of voices can be heard a few feet away.

A voice whispers rather sinisterly in my ear.

Letting out a whimper, I curl up into a tight ball as my heart starts to race. Why am I feeling so scared? Why am I here? What happened? Where is all this fear coming from?

"You better fear me dear, for I am Death."

Once again I am hit by a tidal wave of flashbacks that make me want to throw up. The dark is no longer comforting, it fills me with fear and makes me want to scream even after my throat hurts. As before my breathing starts to become too fast and I snap my eyes open, anything to get me out of the darkness I had found myself in. Sitting bolt upright so fast that I feel dizzy, my eyes frantically search the room for any threat, anything that can hurt me. I see nothing, but that may be down to the fact that the room looks like it is spinning. My already fast breathing speeds up as someone places their hand on my arm.

"Joshua it's alright. It's me, Mrs Stephens, the school nurse. I need you to calm down, just take a deep breath in and then out." A familiar woman with a kind face tells me. As much as I want and try to calm down, I just keep getting more and more worked up. Instead of calming down, I start crying again.

"Oh sweetie, do you want me to get your friends? They will probably be a lot more helpful than me." Unable to formulate a verbal answer due to my sobs and lack of breath, I simply nod my head. She leaves the room and not even a second passes before Max and Oli are running in.

"It's alright Josh, you're alright." Max says in attempts to comfort me as he wraps an arm around my shoulders. Oli jumps on the bed in front of me and takes hold of my hands, looking me straight in the eyes.

"I need you to breathe for me. Just follow my breathing. Deep breath in, and then out." Oli demonstrates, in a rather exaggerated manner, as he does what he says: deep breath in, deep breath out.

Watching him closely, I attempt to mimic his breathing. Deep breath in...and out...deep breath i- wait he's breathing out. Deep breath ou- wait he's breathing in. Shit, why can't I do anything right? Holy shit. Honest to god I just saw a shadow run past me on my left. Looking to my left, I see no one there apart from Max. Wait, there it is again! It just ran past the window. Oh god, what if it's the guy again? What if he has come back so he can actually kill me? I don't want to die, I really don't want to die. Dying is not on my list of things to do today, and it isn't going to be on the list for a very long time. I really really really really really don't want to die.

"Josh, you're getting even more worked up." Oli tells me calmly and it is only then that I realise that my breathing has gotten even faster than it was a minute ago. I look at him, but then my eyes snap to my left where I swear I see the shadow again. Taking my face in his hands, Oli turns my head so that I am looking at him.

"There is nothing there, just look at me. No, don't let your eyes even travel in any other direction. Just look at me. Alright? Good, now try again to follow my breathing."

It took a good five minutes, possibly more, for me to get my breathing under control once again. I am surprised Oli was so patient with me, he didn't appear annoyed at any point. For that I am incredibly grateful, because I'm not too sure I would be calm right now if it wasn't for him. Keeping a hold of his hands, I lightly squeeze them in a silent thanks as I lean my head on Max's shoulder. A moment of tranquil silence falls upon the three of us, and I go to close my eyes to hopefully get a short nap. Then I remember the darkness, and my eyes snap open almost immediately. Both Max and Oli look at me strangely, and before either can ask me about my strange behaviour, the nurse walks back in.

"I have just spoken to the headteacher. He said that you may go home if you so wish, but you also have the choice to stay in school if you feel up for it."

"What you wanna do?" Max asks as he rubs my shoulder.

"I want to go home." I mumble, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.

"That's absolutely fine. I would advise that your friends go with you, because I don't think it would be particularly good for you if you were alone."

"I'll go with him, and I'll text the others to let them know what's going on. Oli, do you want to come with us?" Max asks.

"I would, trust me I would but I have stuff I have to do that I can't really delay. I'm sorry, I hope you understand." Oli replies with a half smile.

"That's fine, I'll just get him home. Come on, Josh. Let's sign us out at the attendance office."

"Okay." I mumble as I get up, not really focusing on anything.

Just put one foot in front of the other. Don't close your eyes. Be cautious of your surroundings. Avoid the shadows. Just get home.