Extrinsic

The universe is filled with unknowns.

I never liked seeing the last breaths of millions of suns too far away for me to comprehend.

The blanket of darkness that tried to consume every last bit of light was unsettling.

The gray surface of the moon was startling.

The sun’s rays were too harsh and bright; uncomfortably warm.

It was ironic.

For me to be unsettled, and paranoid by space despite being surrounded by it constantly.

My elders told me the feeling would disappear, but it never did.

Mira however, always had an affinity for the universe.

They say that when she was born she stared out the window and was mesmerized by space. My mother had to shut the blinds in order to get her attention.

As she got older, she became more obsessed.

She could sit and gaze out into the vastness of it all for hours. My mother didn’t mind though, and would often sit with her and tell her about it all.

Mira and mom were always close.

Everyone could see their connection, and even though I was the youngest and should have been the center of my mom’s attention, I always felt like I was second when it came to Mira.

Mira was the first born. The obsessed-with-the-universe-daughter, glued to my mother’s side when she was around and talking to her constantly when she was away.

She held onto mom the longest when mom left for missions.

Mira ran up to mom first when she was finally home.

Mira talked to mom the most after school.

Mira was mom’s little duckling.

Mira got to keep mom’s dog tags when she was killed on a mission.

Mira was still the center of attention. . .because Mira. . .

. . . was the one who spiraled out of control.