I was out of it most of the time now.

At work it was all muscle memory; hands sorting mail while my mind wandered.

Mira was the oldest and I was the youngest.

Mira was strong and I was weak.

But somehow, now I had to be strong for our father.

I needed to be there for him. I’m all he has left.

But I can’t help but wonder, is this all there is to my life now?

To sort mail forever, to ignore the windows I pass?

I can remember throwing tantrums as a kid when my mom tried to make me sit in front of a window.

Sometimes I’d get sick and throw up.

If I saw Mira gazing out into the vastness of space, I felt anxious.

People always told me I would get over it, but I haven’t.

If I think about it too much, I felt trapped.

I’m Nina, the youngest daughter of a mother who fought on Earth and a sister who obsessed about space.

I live on the moon. The only scenery I’ve ever know are the millions of stars in the distance and the surface of the Earth.

But these facts make my skin crawl. My heart rate and breathing increase.

But you have to ignore it Nina. You can’t change anything, this is your life. This is how it will always be. Just don’t think about it, Nina.

Don’t think about it.