Remember Me

She waited outside “I'm going to be at the end of my break in ten minutes. But don't worry. I've got someone who will watch you until I'm off work.” she assured me motherly.

Oh man... She's gonna leave me with some stranger... I thought.

I nodded stiffly. I liked this woman, but I didn't trust her entirely. But could you? Wake up with no memory, wake up to this life?

She put an arm lightly against my back and led me up front to where the tables were and customers talked in tangled unison. I couldn't pick any of the conversations around me, so drowned it all out until it was a blur.

I swallowed tightly feeling the hysteria in my stomach pull it into an knot. I breathed in, breathed out. Stay clam... Don't freak out and embarrass yourself. I warned myself mentally.

I followed the woman throughout the crowds. Looking at her, she had short, curly, orange hair. Bright green eyes and a pretty smile. She was casual and sweet, far kinder than the doctors and nurses.

I looked around myself, certain everyone in the restaurant were looking at me, my hands shook violently as I scanned the crowds, not pausing long enough to lock eyes with anyone. I noticed that the group of crazed boys that had been on stage earlier were gone, another group moved around on it like drugged chickens. The one man in front had a bright orange and yellow Mohawk, screaming orders to dance and sing along to the crowd of people in front of the stage.

I looked away and watched my feet so I couldn't trip, already I felt clumsy, like I wasn't safe in my own skin. The woman led me to an small table, almost forgotten in the corner of the room. Shadows cast over much of it except for the bit of lighting coming from an overhead stained glass lamp. Three boys sat there. Looking down and talking to each other.

“Billie Joe, I've got someone to introduce you too.” she said. Bringing them to attention. One's head snapped up. It was the one I'd seen earlier with curly blond hair. I looked away awkwardly.

“Hmm?” he asked, he hadn't been listening to her.

“Billie, this is... Uh. I don't even think we have met.” she said eyeing me. I swallowed back anxiety and inclined my head to know her name. 

“I'm Ollie Armstrong.” she smiled softly, almost in encouragement for me to speak. Or maybe she hoped I'd speak because I'd be more in my leauge with the boys that looked fairly young.

I nodded in agreement.

“And this...” she waved an hand to the blond boy. “is my son, Billie Joe.” when one of the others cleared their throat, she amended. “And his friends, Mike and Tré.” she waved an dismissive hand at the others.

Billie looked up at me with curious eyes “And who are you?” he asked. An glare almost pricking at his brow. His eyes flat, the lamp above illuminated his face enough to see the striking resemblance him and his mother shared. The same heart shaped face and bright green eyes, which were now narrowed at me suspiciously.

I looked to Ollie almost anxiously, I couldn't speak if I'm entirely unsure how I sound. I dug deep into my limited memory to recall the last time I had spoken. One tiny fragment, the dying echoes of a long lost scream.

I looked down at the floor in frustration.

“Can't you talk?” the boy with the blond hair and green eyes, apparently named 'Billie Joe' demanded. Well... Sneered is a more appropriate term.

I shook my head no. My eyes dodging his to look somewhere else every time he tried to lock gazes. But that was worse, everywhere I looked, there were eyes. Expectant eyes, either on me or someone else, people everywhere, all around me... Pressuring me to say something.

“Billie Joe Armstrong!” Ollie snapped at him, smacking his shoulder motherly to strengthen the scold that had no effect on him.

He rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, his expression changed, he looked up at me with an expectant, patient fake smile, his fingers knit together, resting on his stomach, the picture of ease, except it wasn't real...

“What's your name dear, tell us any way you can.” Ollie offered softly, taking my shoulders comfortingly, but if anything, her warm skin stung mine of ice.

All I could do is shrug and avoid anyone's eyes. They darted from person to person, strengthening my dis-ease.

“Do you know your name?” Ollie asked in an lighter, hopeful tone.

I shook my head. I have no idea. And I've been thinking about it for days... Nothing ever rang a bell, just void emptiness, waiting to be filled with some good memories to block out the darkness.

“Oh it's alright," she assured me with a warm smile, patting my shoulders. "we'll think of something... Anyways boys, more importantly, Billie. I need you to watch her for me until I get off.”

“What?" Billie asked incredulously. "why me?" he whined, his tone bitter and rude. He threw his head back dramatically.

She gave him an meaningful look “I'll explain later. Keep an eye on her, and be nice to her please?”

He sighed heavily “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, I'll be back in an hour” she assured me. Smiling before she headed back towards the kitchen. Leaving me alone with them.

I ran a hand through my jagged hair. If I cannot remember my name, I'll have to come up with one. I stood awkwardly. Resisting the impulse to run for the double doors and continue to make my escape from insanity. It seemed like a pretty good plan, actually...

Then the thought hit me with crippling strength. I remember... The doctor had come into my room a few days ago... Hours? Weeks? I'm not sure, but I remember him, he smiled down at me sympathetically before calling the nurse in to inject my IV with some clear liquid... Within a few moments, my eyelids lowered and I fought... Fought with all my strength to avoid the forced coming to me... Forcing me into a deep sleep. I did end up falling asleep, eventually... But not before hearing the doctor exit my door, standing outside the door and talk with the nurse... He said my brain was bleeding. How much time for survival will that provide me? I still know nothing about myself. 

“You can sit down y'know.” Billie said finally breaking the silence and tension. Forcing himself to look up at a mute. Up at me it looked like he was fighting the urge to wince away from me.

He patted the chair beside him. But he didn't look up at me as he did, instead, he looked down absently. I didn't want to sit next to him, or with his weird friends... I wanted to leave, I wanted to get away from the living nightmare I stood in now.

"Ugh, come on, sit down or leave, I don't give a fuck, just get out of my light." he grunted in irratation, turning to glare up at me. I backed out of the light, my shadow no longer cast across the leather bound notebook in his lap. When I made my hesitant steps forward. He leaned away toward the wall. I sat down and looked away. They weren't going to pay any mind to me if I don't talk. But talking has it's risks, so does not talking.

I was very quiet, but they were somehow quieter. They're voices hardly audible even though they sat around me. Billie had dropped out of the conversation. Now sat back in his chair scribbling in a worn leather journal. His hand moving quickly along the pages in an angry rant.

I pulled my eyes away and focused on the kitchen door, when Ollie would come out to release me and save the day. I didn't look anywhere else but those doors...

Maybe they weren't just ignoring me because I wasn't talking. Because if one thing was for sure, its that Billie has already taken a strong dislike to me. And apparently so has Mike. But Tré would smile at me a few times on occasion. I wouldn't smile back, though. I was a bit afraid of Billie bursting out at me again, this time to yell at me for even looking at his friends.

Maybe it's because I'm a girl... And the almost hostile looks I was receiving from Mike made me weary. He'd quickly look away, or start looking at Tre... His looks were the oddest because he almost looked like he was trying to understand me. As if... Ha, I can't even understand myself. But I welcome any poor sucker who thinks he can.

I knew the hour was up when Ollie came to us. Like the light at the end of the long dark tunnel, she walked towards us, wearing an pair of jeans and casual t-shirt.

“Let's go.” she smiled at us, pausing beside the table.

We all followed her outside silently. I held back behind the group, breathe in, breathe out, the pattern got old, but kept me calm. I looked up into the sky. Raindrops began falling from the stars and bleaching my borrowed gray t-shirt. I paused there, in the middle of the sidewalk for a moment, my eyes closed, I felt the cold drops sprinkle across my cheeks, sticking my hair to my forehead and drip off my shoulders.

When I opened my eyes, Billie and Mike paused midstep across the street, looking back at me like I was crazy before shaking their heads and kept walking towards the car.

The three boys all claimed the backseat, well, actually, they shoved Tre in first and forced themselves in after him so they wouldn't be stuck sitting next to me, probably... I was secretly pleased to have shotgun, anyways. Ollie spared me a smile before backing out.

I looked out the windows blankly. Rain smearing everything. It was sad, I don't even know where I am. The road signs we'd pass, that I couldn't understand... Washed away with the drops of moisture that were meant to bring clarity.

Silently, I let the drops of rain blur my worries along with it. Or so I hoped... Because somewhere deep in my heart, there was a tiny fragment of my being that was still shuddering in fear and the horror of being found. Dragged... Back to that place, I'd fight my damned hardest, but would it do me any good?

I brought my knees to my chest and hugged them. Thought I could see nothing but the dull smear of colors outside the windows, it was something to look at, and something to distract me. I studied them, keeping my mind active and off of the real problem.

We parked in front of an long trailer house. I got out with everyone else, slowly. Careful not to draw attention to myself, careful to remain invisible. Aware of the weird look I got from Billie when he saw me walk through the icy puddles of rain water barefoot. I guess I was so mental it didn't phase me. We sopped up the steps and Ollie opened the front door. 

“Here, Tré can take you and show you around.” she encouraged. Tré grinned at me and took my freezing hands in his and yanked me after him into the house.

Tré seemed to know the house as well as any Armstrong. Except he wasn't, which tells me he is probably here a lot. Probably one of those friends who are at their friend's houses more than their own.

“And this is Billie's room. I'd advise you stay out of there, he's kind of touchy. And this is Ollie's room, this is the guest room. Bathroom, Kitchen.” he waved them off as we went along.

I nodded, following him, and making mental notes of where everything was so I'd never have to ask, and most importantly, speak.

When we had gone full circle. He went back to the living room where, when I met Billie's eyes hesitantly. He looked at me like he had just seen the light... Which tells me that Ollie told him about me being an escapee from the hospital... Great. That's just wonderful, I was now the pity case.

I looked away awkwardly when his stare had dragged out too long. He blinked several times and looked away too, turning to go to his room. Which closed door I'd seen during my tour with Tré.
Ollie grinned at me and softly took my hand from Tré's and led me down the hall past Billie's room. To the bright guest room at the corner. 

“I hope you don't mind staying with us for an short while.” she smiled.

I shook my head no, then looked down the hall to Billie's closed door. 

“He'll come around. Just give him some time.” she smiled then turned and headed toward the kitchen.

I took another look at his door before looking at my own. I opened it to look inside.