Luck

“Pass the syrup, please.” Harry asked only after attempting to reach across the table several times to get it. I laughed at his antics, and thought about denying him his request.

The glare he shot me after several seconds of hesitation caused me to hum in agreement and pass him the bottle of Real Canadian Maple Syrup. I had been to Canada multiple times, and it seemed to me to be an imposter. It looked and tasted much more like the fake stuff, nothing like the sticky, sweet treat found north of the border.

“Thanks.” Harry drizzled some syrup over his pancakes, “You want some?”

“I’m good, thanks.” My own pancakes had just had a touch of it on them, and I preferred it that way. I liked my pancakes plain, or with a touch of whipped cream and strawberries, or maybe blueberries. Despite this, I didn’t want to impose on Harry and ask for these things. I doubted he had strawberries or blueberries; they were out of season.

I had woken up with plans to return to the flat as quickly as possible, but Harry had already started making pancakes. He offered me some, and it felt rude to say no. Also, I was hungry.

"No problem," I said, before taking a bite of my own. They were surprisingly good, closer to the ones my mom made back home than any I had been able to make myself, “These are good, Harry.”

Harry’s cooking ability surprised me. I was hardly a chef, but I could certainly cook well enough to feed myself and, upon occasion, Eva. The kitchen in Harry’s house was state of the art, but I hadn’t expected it to be because he used it.

"Thanks," Harry repeated, this time with a proud smile on his face.

We ate in silence, the conversation from last night still heavy in both of our minds. I could sense that he had more to ask, more questions lurking, but he knew better than to hound me with all of them.

"Do you... Do you think your parents really did it? Sell all those drugs and kill those people, I mean?”

We hadn't spoken on the topic since, and I was hoping to avoid it. I took my time to think of a proper answer, but before I could form one, Harry spoke again.

“Sorry, that was completely out of line.” The words were rushed, like Harry knew he hit a nerve.

“No, no, it’s okay,” I told him quickly. I bit my lip, carefully perfecting my answer before speaking, “I don’t know.” I said finally. It was simple, but it was the truth.

“You don’t know?” Harry pressed. His face showed confusion, and general curiousity.

“Some days I think they probably did it and some days I think that there’s no way in hell they could have.” I paused for a second, taking a deep breath to keep from crying, “I know all the evidence points in favor of their guilt. But they’re my parents, Harry. How could my parents do such a thing? They didn’t raise me to be a criminal. They didn’t raise me jacked up on drugs. They raised me to hate drugs and to follow the rules and to be a good citizen. So how could they have done the opposite?”

Harry didn’t seem to know how to respond, so I just kept talking, “You think they’re guilty, don’t you?”

“I don’t know your parents, Savannah, it’s not my place to say,” he said nervously, “But I know they have a right to a trial.”

“Yeah,” I said, “It’s scheduled for late April right now.”

“Are you gonna go back to Boston to watch it?” Harry took a sip of his orange juice, staring straight at me.

“I don’t know. Probably not. I have school and such, you know?” I pushed my pancakes around with my fork, “Plus I don’t know how I would handle it. I haven’t seen them since they got arrested.”

“My offer still stands, you know,” Harry said after a moment or two, “I can help you out or whatever if you want to go back.”

I put my fork down and smiled up at him, “My answer’s still the same: thanks but no thanks. I need to focus on building a life here before I go back and deal with that one.”

Harry's only response was a nod, and an understanding look. There was a lot that is left behind in Boston, and I wasn't ready to deal with it.

We finished our meal soon after several more minutes of pushing around pancakes and small bites and sips of orange juice. I helped him clean up, and load the dishwasher. There wasn’t one in our flat, and it was nice to not have to wash dishes for once. I had never imagined that I would miss loading the dishwasher.

“I’ll drive you home,” he offered, grabbing his keys and wallet from the counter before I could respond.

“You don’t have to,” I said it more out of habit. I wanted him to drive me home. It sounded far better than braving the Tube and bus. Plus, I liked his company, quiet or not.

“I insist.” He had already pocketed his wallet and was searching for the shoes he left by the door when he spoke. I didn’t fight it and followed him to the garage.

By car, my flat was not far from Harry’s - maybe twenty minutes in traffic. The ride passed quickly and easily. I liked seeing London from the car - I spent too much time on the Tube and in the same few areas of London.

Harry kept the radio playing as he drove. It was calmer than with Niall, something I was glad about. I didn’t fancy dying today. My parents had received enough bad news in the past several months; the death of their daughter didn’t need to be added to it.

“I’m really sorry I punched you,” I said as we approached my street, “Really, I am.”

"Don't worry about it, Savannah," he said, "I deserved it. And you didn’t even leave a mark. Who taught you to punch? If you ever needed to punch in the real world, you probably wouldn’t get too far.”

“Well, I’m glad I didn’t hurt you.” I ignored Harry’s insults to my punching. I had never done anything like that before. I was non-violent, anti-guns, and I had never even considered punching anyone.

"I'm having a little get together tonight," Harry told me as he pulled up to my flat, "At my house. The lads will all be there and Tom and Lou and whoever else. You should come. You can bring Eva if you want."

Out of habit, I almost said no. But instead, I swallowed my protests and nodded, “Alright.”

“Good,” Harry smiled at me, “I’ll see you later, Savannah.”

“See ya,” I echoed, climbing from his car, “Thanks for the ride!”

I wasn’t surprised when I opened the door of my flat and Eva was ready to pounce. I could hear her footsteps echo from her room as she hurried to greet me. Her dark hair was all over the place, and she was still in her pajamas. But she grinned wildly when she saw me.

“Hi!” Her eyes were wide and excited, “How was Harry’s?”

“It was fine,” I told her with a smile, before shooting her a warning glance, “Don’t ask.”

“Don’t ask what?” Eva asked with faked innocence, “Whether or not you’re still a virgin? If Harry’s a good shag?”

“We didn’t have sex,” I groaned. I placed my bag on the hook where it belonged and trudged into the living room of the flat.

“Then what the hell did you do?” Eva wasn’t far behind, following me closely. She plopped down on the chair opposite me, while I took the couch.

“Not have sex,” I repeated, “We don’t even sleep in the same room or anything, Eva. I slept in his guest room. Which was a step up from the couch I slept on last time.”

“Why did you even stay the night then?” Eva asked, “Why not just come home?”

I shrugged, “It was late, and we had pancakes this morning. I know you didn’t have pancakes this morning.”

“I may not have, but I did have Frosties. So suck on that,” Eva stuck her tongue out at me.

“We almost always have Frosties. I don’t think I’ve had pancakes since I graduated from high school.”

“Whatever. If you’re not going to tell me what you did at Harry Styles house last night, then I don’t want to be around you.” Eva stood up, tossing a pillow in my direction, “I’ll see you later, Savannah!”

“Eva, I have to tell you something.” She was already nearly in her room by the time I found it in me to speak, but she spun around upon hearing my voice.

“Yes?” She asked, drawing out the S. Her face was full of curiosity and interest.

“My parents are in jail.” I spoke so quickly I wasn’t sure I understood.

“Come again?” Eva's face was a bundle of confusion.

“My parents - they’re in jail,” I said slowly, my face blushing, “And so is my brother.”

“Oh, I know,” Eva laughed, a look of relief passing on her face.

“You know?” I asked. I frowned, shocked by her response.

“Mmhmm. Don’t give me that look, Savannah. I had literally never met you before and then my parents came home telling me they had found me a roommate. Well, naturally, I was curious as to why the hell the Mitzler’s granddaughter was moving to England after having never heard about her in my life. So I asked my parents and they told me it was because your entire family except for you are drug dealers and I had to be nice about it.” Eva paused for a second, “I took that to mean never, ever mention it. You seemed fragile enough as it was.”

“What?”

“I was going to write a book about it: My Life with a Drug Dealer Roommate. But then you turned out not to be very interesting and probably not a drug dealer at all.” Eva shot me a cheeky grin, “But now you hang out with Harry Styles and routinely sleepover at his house -”

“It was twice!”

“Yeah, whatever.” Eva rolled her eyes, “So now I think I’ll write a book about being the roommate of someone who’s dating a popstar. My Life with a Popstar’s Girlfriend Roommate.”

“We’re not dating!” I nearly shrieked.

“Maybe not yet, but you will eventually.” There was a certain confidence in her words that struck me.

I narrowed my eyes at her, “I liked you better when you were quiet.”

“I was scared of you!” Eva exclaimed, laughing just slightly.

“Were you really?” Out of all the things Eva had confused to me, this may have been the most surprising. I had never once considered myself to be intimidating.

“A little bit,” Eva admitted, “It took me a little while to realize you’re completely harmless.”

Several moments of silence passed between us, both of us taking in the conversation that we had both had. I was tired, and tempted to go take a nap.

“Well, at least now you know why Harry and I can’t date.” I broke the silence shortly after Eva had relaxed and sat back down in her chair.

“Wait, why can’t you date?” Eva leaned forward, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Because of my parents…” I said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, because to me, it was.

“What? Because your parents are in jail? Savannah, that’s the worst logic ever.”

“No, it’s not!” I protested, slightly hurt that Eva couldn’t see my reasoning, “Harry’s world-famous, Eva. I don’t think it would do him much good to be seen with the child of felons! Not to mention I’ve been arrested, too.”

“I think that if he truly cared about you he wouldn’t give a fuck about that sort of stuff,” Eva’s voice was even and she almost sounded bored.

“Yeah, but his publicist may give a fuck about that sort of stuff.”

Eva just shrugged, “Probably see it as a good chance to make them appeal to an older age group. Harry Styles’ Date with a Felon. I can see the headlines now. Sounds like great publicity. Keeps the band relevant, you know?”

“I don’t want that sort of attention,” I told Eva, “I had to leave my home because of all of the attention when my family got arrested. I don’t want that again.”

“Now, Savannah, that’s a real reason you and Harry might not work out,” Eva looked at me, her face serious and her tone uncharacteristically stern, “But for the love of God, do not blame it on your parents. That’s not fair to your parents, and it’s not fair to Harry. If he really liked you, which I think he does, he wouldn’t give a fuck about your parents. I really like you and I don’t give a fuck about your parents.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, “You just told me you were going to write a book about living with me because of my parents.”

“That was before I knew you!” Eva threw her arms up, “And now I know you and I’m going to write a book about your little fling with Harry Styles! Because, that, I do give a fuck about.”

[&&&]

I was pleased to find that Harry’s definition of a get together was closer to mine than Lou’s was. Eva and I slipped through the doors of his house, Eva wide-eyed at his house. It was impressive, but somehow I had never noticed it before. I had been too distracted the other times.

I saw Lou and Tom’s car in Harry’s driveway, but only spotted Tom. He was talking to an older man who looked familiar, but I couldn’t place him right away. Gemma was chatting with Lydia, Liam’s girlfriend, in the kitchen, and I saw Louis and his girlfriend, Amelie, in the living room with Niall and a few others. The door to the back patio was open, and I could just see Zayn smoking. He saw me too, and nodded at me. Suddenly, Harry appeared.

“Savannah!” He cried, re-entering the house with a huge smile on his face. I blushed at the increased attention Harry caused by his little scene.

He pulled me into an awkward hug that I didn’t quite return, an awkward pat on the back.

“Thanks for coming!”

“Yeah, no problem,” I said, quickly stepping back to fall back in line with Eva. She shot me a knowing glance, which I returned with a quick shake of the head.

“Nice to see you again, Eva,” Harry acknowledged her, as well, and she returned his greeting.

“There’s food and drinks in the kitchen,” Harry told us, “Just make yourself at home.”

The second Harry stepped away, Eva turned to me with a shit-eating grin on her face. “He likes you,” she teased.

“Shut up,” I jabbed her in the ribs.

“Ow,” she yelped, jumping back.

I rolled my eyes at her, but didn’t bother to respond. We made our way to the living room, and joined the conversation. Nobody seemed to pay us much mind, which was fine by me. The conversation drifted from One Direction’s tour to school to the weather, before the group broke up when Amelie and Louis left to get drinks.

I found Lou in Harry’s office, with Lux in her arms. It was an office, and set up like an office, but I could tell that Harry didn’t use it very often. There was a layer of dust on the desk, and the bookcase was empty. Unlike my father’s office, there was no messy piles of paper scattered around.

“Hi,” I said somewhat awkwardly, opening the door.

“Hello, Savannah,” Lou’s face had a kind smile on it as she looked up, “Lux needed a second.”

“Savvy!” Lux instantly looked up and reached for me.

Lou nodded warily as I stepped forward and took Lux from her arms.

“Are you just being a pain tonight?” I teased her. Lux just nodded tiredly, and rested her head on my shoulder.

“I can take her, Savannah,” Lou said, “She’s not your responsibility tonight.”

“No, it’s okay,” I told her, “It’s a nice excuse to get away from the party a bit.”

“Overwhelmed by everyone?”

“Yeah, a bit,” I admitted with a smile. It was nice to know that Lou knew me so well, even though I had only been working for her for a few months.

I sat myself down on one of the open chairs, settling Lux in my lap. Her head never left my shoulder, and I could tell she was tired. Her eyes fluttered closed, and even though I knew she was probably still awake, I spoke.

“I haven’t been honest with you, Lou.”

“Honest about what, Savannah?” Lou’s voice was full of concern, but there was a hint of worry mixed in, as well.

“Honest about my past,” I said quietly, “Harry told me you knew, but I guess I should tell you myself: my parents - and brother - are in jail on charges of drug trafficking and murder.”

“Oh, Savannah,” Lou said softly. Her demeanor had changed instantly, “I know. And I know how hard this must be for you.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, tears falling down my face silently as I judged Lou’s face for her reaction.

“It’s okay, Savannah, it really is.” Lou words were comforting to me, and she patted my knee from where she sat in her own chair.

“I was just so ashamed.” Lou hadn’t asked me for an explanation, but I gave her one anyway. It was a shit one, I knew that much, but I felt I owed it to her.

“Nobody wants to be judged by what their parents have done, positive or negative. You’re clearly not a criminal, Savannah. I don’t care what your family did, or did not do, and I hope that you don’t judge me for what my family does or does not do,” Lou’s voice was gentle, and she smiled at me kindly before continuing, “Can we agree on that?”

I nodded, tears still welling in my eyes, “Yeah. Of course.”

“Good.” Lou stood up, and despite Lux still heavy in my arms, she went to hug me. I relished in her embrace, happy to have someone there for me.

“You’ll be alright, Savannah,” she told me, her hands on my shoulders. She looked me straight in the eyes, her gaze both comforting and reassuring, “And if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you.”

“Yeah, I know.” I wiped the tears off quickly and gave her a fake smile.
“We should probably go re-join the party, now,” Lou suggested quietly, “They’re probably missing us.”

I nodded in agreement, and opened the glass doors. Lux was still holding on tightly to me, and I knew better than to try to put her down. Lux wasn’t the most needy child I had ever watched, but when she decided she wanted to be held, she wanted to be held for a long time.

It was strange being in a room with them all and knowing that they all knew my little secret. Lou separated quickly from me, telling me to find her if Lux was a burden.

Gemma motioned for me to come over to her, and I did. Lydia and Amelie were standing by her, and they both greeted me with warm smiles.

“Is Lux sleeping?” Gemma asked, a laugh in her voice.

“Sleeping or playing possum. One of the two.” I looked over Lux, her eyes still shut, and her head still resting on my shoulder.

“Do you want me to take her?” Gemma offered, her arms already slightly stretched out, reaching for Lux.

“Sure,” I agreed. It didn’t bother me much either way. I placed Lux carefully in Gemma’s arms, and

“I’m really glad you’re here, Savannah,” Gemma said, “I was hoping I would get to see you again.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to see you again,” Amelie agreed before I could respond to Gemma’s comment, “Are you going to the gig this weekend? At Radio One?”

I shook my head, “Not unless Lou needs me there for some reason.”

“That’s too bad,” Amelie said, “They’re playing the songs from their new album.”

“I think it’ll be good,” Lydia added, “You could probably ask Harry for a ticket. Oh! Or Niall.”

“Oh, there you are, Savannah.” In the way only Eva could do, she appeared from behind me. I was relieved that she interrupted before I had to respond, “You disappeared for a while there. I was looking for you.”

“You ready to go, Eva?” I asked. I hoped my eyes could communicate with her that I needed to go, regardless of how she was feeling about it.

She nodded knowingly, “I have class early tomorrow.”

We excused ourselves from the conversation quickly, and headed to the door. There was a growing pile of shoes and bags that had began to accumulate that we needed to search through.

“You leaving?” Harry jogged up to us as we located our shoes and bags. I had thought to bring a jacket, but Eva hadn’t.

“Yeah, unfortunately,” I told him, “Eva has things to do.”

“Well, thanks for coming,” Harry said. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I could sense a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“Yeah, thanks for having us.” Eva spoke for the both of us. I nodded, as if to add my own thanks.

As we headed to the door, we were stopped by Lou.

“You’re leaving?” she asked.

“Yeah, we have class and coursework and stuff,” I told her. Not to mention, I was still tired from my little sleepover with Harry the night before. I needed a full night’s sleep to recover from last night.

“Uni problems.” Lou shook her head, “Can’t say I’ve ever experienced those.”

“Consider yourself lucky,” I laughed. Eva had the door open, and looked at me expectantly.

“Goodnight Savannah, Eva,” Lou waved.

“Hey, Lou,” I called out just after I stepped out of the door. I opened it back slightly, just so I could see her.

"Yeah, Savannah?"

"I think I'm ready for that haircut."