Luck

By the time Monday rolled around, I was still dead-set on avoiding Eva. The anger that had been boiling in my veins had subsided, but just a bit, and it was replaced with annoyance and dread. Not knowing the time she would be returning at, I headed off to class early and did some coursework on campus instead of in the safety of my own room.

Brody didn’t bother showing up to class, and I found myself sighing with relief when the professor locked the door after someone slipped in five minutes after class started. Brody was probably on Eva’s side of the argument and I wasn’t in the mood to listen to his lecture on the importance of maintaining friendships and apologizing to Eva. I was burning bridges quicker than I could build them.

After scrawling down the hints the professor gave us for the final exam and what to study for, I slipped quickly out of class without interacting with anyone.

My phone rang as I exited the main building, and I stopped by a park bench to answer it. Lou’s name flashed on the screen, and confusion immediately took over. We had already set up a time for me to come over to babysit, and Lou rarely ever changed her plans.

“Lou?” I asked after sliding the accept call button.

“Savannah, I hate to ask this, but is there anyway you can watch Lux at your place today?” Lou skipped the greeting and went straight to her request, “I know it’s short notice and inconvenient, but Tom just informed me he was having people over and meetings had to be re-scheduled… It’s a mess. Is there anyway you could have her at your’s?”

My stomach sank. I had been looking forward to continuing my avoidance of Eva by spending the rest of the afternoon (and maybe part of the evening) at Lou’s.

Despite that, I found myself nodding and agreeing to do it. She was my boss after all, and there wasn’t any real reason I couldn’t have Lux over.

“Wonderful!” Lou sounded relieved at the answer I gave her, and didn’t pick up my hesitance at all.

“Yeah, no problem,” I said dully, “Do you want me to pick her up or…”

“Can you pick her up?” Lou asked after a moment of hesitation, “Not at our house.”

“Yeah, I can, but I where should I pick her up at?” I ran my hand through my hair as I tried to understand what Lou wanted.

“You live by Caledonian Road, right? We’re running errands at the moment; why don’t we meet at the Pret a Manger by the Holburn Tube Station?” Lou suggested.

“Uh, sure!” I agreed quickly. London was still relatively new to me and I wasn’t sure how Lou knew exactly what was in the area so quickly. I knew Holburn was on the Piccadilly line, but I would have to find the Pret a Manger once I disembarked, "When do you want to meet?"

"About thirty minutes? Maybe twenty-five?" I could almost see Lou glancing around for the time; I was doing the same.

"That should work!" I agreed. Holburn was only a few stops away, and I knew it wouldn’t be a long ride.

“Great, see you then!” I heard the dial tone before I could respond; Lou was in such a rush she couldn’t be bothered to wait for my goodbye.

I wasn’t positive exactly how long the train to Holburn would take, but I knew it would probably take me some to find the Pret a Manger, so I decided to head down there straight away. Besides, I hadn’t had lunch yet, and I was hoping to get there in enough time for me to gobble down something.

It took all of nine minutes for me to get to Holburn station, and finding the Pret took me merely five, so I pleased to find that I had plenty of time to eat before Lux and Lou arrived. I opted for a ham, bacon and cheese croissant, because I deserved it.

I hadn’t seen Harry since he had dropped me off on Friday, but he hadn’t left my mind. We had texted only a few times since then, but he hadn’t mentioned hanging out nor had he let himself into Lou’s house while I was watching Lux. I figured he was probably busy (after all, he was a celebrity), and I let it go. But God, I really wanted to see him. And soon. And kiss him, too.

So lost in my thoughts, I jumped when I heard a familiar, shrill voice scream, “Savvy!”

It was hard to resist grinning when there was an adorable little girl running towards me. I slid off my chair to greet her properly.

“Hi, Luxy,” I smiled as I picked her up and held her. Not far behind her, was a worried looking Lou who had just entered the shop. I waved her over.

She was flustered and spoke quickly, giving me various instructions and information about how the rest of the day would pass.

“Thank you so much for doing this,” Lou said, “I really appreciate it. If you guys decide to do anything, just tell me and I’ll pay you back for it.”

“Maybe we’ll bake something,” I said mindlessly, trying to think if I had all the ingredients needed for chocolate chip cookies.

“She’d like that,” Lou agreed, “Lux, be good for Savvy, okay? You’re going to go play at her house.”

Lux nodded and Lou leaned over to kiss her on the forehead, “I’ll see you two later!”

Without any sort of a stroller, I was worried about taking Lux on public transportation. I carried her the short distance to the tube station, but I had to put her down when we reached the platform.

Despite strict instructions from me to hold my hand, I was still filled with worry as the train approached. But Lux was good and held my hand, and there was an empty seat available that she sat on while I stood beside her.

The walk from the Tube station to my flat was short, and also uncrowded, so I didn’t mind if Lux wandered ahead just a bit.

“Let’s check the mail,” I told her as we entered the building.

Lux didn’t say anything, but stood patiently with me as I opened up the mailbox. Admittedly, Eva and I weren’t the best at checking our mail. I pulled out a collection of a bills and various other junk, before seeing the little key hidden away between two envelopes.

“I have a package,” I told Lux as I pulled the key from the mailbox.

Lux watched with wide eyes as I retrieved the package from the special, larger, package box. I recognized the return address immediately - it was from Maria. I hadn’t talked to her much since our little falling out, and I supposed this was her effort to salvage our relationship.

“Package!” Lux clapped her little hands, and I struggled to get a good grip on the box. Once I did, I grabbed Lux’s hand and led her up the stairs to my flat.

“What is it, what is it?!” Lux begged as soon as I opened the door.

I placed the package on the floor and grabbed my keys to open it, while Lux stood beside me, surveying the box with great interest. The box was padded in bubble wrap, something which caused Lux confusion.

“What is it?” she asked again, this time with less enthusiasm and more concern.

“Look!” I exclaimed, popping a bubble for her to see. She jumped a bit, and I laughed, before she carefully took it from me. Lux stabbed a bubble for herself, but it didn’t pop.

Emptying the box of bubble wrap, I found a bundle of several American treats. Two boxes of Lucky Charms stared back at me, along with two bags of pita chips (the good kind - Stacy’s), and four (yes, four!) bags of Goldfish, and to top it all off, a bundle of five boxes of Kraft Mac-n-Cheese.

At the very bottom of the box was an envelope, with the words For Savannah written in a familiar print on it. A sticky note was attached and simply said: This letter is from your brother. He sent it to me with instructions to pass it on to you. Let me know how you’re doing. - Maria

Lux had stopped messing with the bubble wrap, and had started to watch as I took each of the items out of the box and placed them on the floor.

“What is it!?” she cried for a final time, the excitement having returned to her voice.

“Food, mostly,” I laughed at her. I placed the Mac-n-Cheese boxes on the ground and ignored the envelope.

She grabbed the big box of Lucky Charms that I had removed first, studying it earnestly. Lucky the Leprechaun seemed to mesmerize her, and she touched his face on the box.

“Do you want to try some?” I asked her. Despite being two, she was far better traveled than I was (not that I hadn’t seen my fair share of the world, I had, especially for being eighteen, but her’s was a bit excessive, especially for being two), and had been to America several times. There was a decent chance she had already sampled Lucky Charms, but I knew she wouldn’t remember it even if she had, “It’s cereal.”

“Yeah!” she nodded quickly, shoving the box at me.

I poured her a bowl and some milk, and grabbed her a spoon before surveying the flat for a place for her to eat.

Eva and I didn’t have an actual table, just a few bar stools that were placed by the half-wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. But they were tall, and I could just see Lux falling from the bar stool and making an awkward phone call to Lou and Tom. The flat was great, but it was not child proof.

Reluctantly, I decided to allow her to eat on the couch, and put the bowl on the coffee table by it.

“I eat on couch?” Lux asked, wide-eyed and amazed.

I nodded, “Be very careful,” I told her, wishing I hadn’t added as much milk as I did.

“Yummy!” Lux told me after a single spoonful.

I laughed at her, “You like the marshmallows?”

Lux nodded enthusiastically, “Yummy!” she repeated again.

Pouring myself some, I glanced over the nutrition facts. I had yet to gain the so-called freshman fifteen, which could be because I wasn’t a traditional freshman, but if Maria kept sending me boxes of American goods, it would be more like the freshman fifty.

I joined her on the couch, and together we identified each of the marshmallows that either of us ate. The cereal was exceptionally soggy after that, and Lux was less than impressed with the toasted oat pieces, leaving a large amount left in her bowl even after she decided she was done.

“Savvy, I tired,” Lux announced, “Nap.”

“You wanna nap?” I asked. For all the children I had babysat for in my life, Lux was probably the first to ask for a nap.

She nodded, and rubbed her eyes. I thought about letting her hit the sack on the couch, but if Eva returned, she would almost certainly wake Lux up. The only other option was my bed. I realized it wasn’t necessarily a bad option, and picked her up to carry her there.

“You can nap in my room,” I told her.

“Your room?” Lux grabbed on to me, eyes wide.

“Mmm-hmm.” I closed the door behind me with my foot and placed her on the left side of my double bed. She sat straight up and looked around, mesmerized by her surroundings. I was glad that I hadn’t left any bras or thongs on the floor. “Do you want me to stay with you?” I asked.

She nodded, “Yeah. Stay.”

“Okay, lie down.” I lay down beside her, and she was quick to imitate me. It wasn’t long before I could hear her shallow breaths, a sure-tell sign that she was snoozing.

My phone buzzed beside me, and I bit my lip before quickly glancing over. Lux didn’t even stir, but I still made a point of silencing my phone. A dumb smile filled my face the second I saw Harry’s name on the screen.

Hey!

It took me mere seconds to type out my response.

Hi :)

What are you doing? Do you wanna hang out?

Harry’s invitation made my heart pound, and the dumb smile on my face grow. But Lux let out a small snore, and I remembered my responsibilities.

I’m watching Lux right now…

I could come over.

I’m watching her at my place :/ sorry.

I could come over to your’s.

I hesitated. I really, really wanted Harry to come over. I wanted to see him more than I had wanted just anything in my life, as greedy as that was. But I also knew that it was almost three thirty, and Eva’s classes were almost done for the day. She could have come back while I was gone picking up Lux, but I wasn’t positive of that. The flat wasn’t avoidable forever, and if she came home while Harry was here, I knew that would just be more drama.

Could we hang out tonight instead????

Lux shifted beside me, but showed no signs of waking up. I was proud of her for sleeping so soundly without one of her many stuffed animals around; at her age, that would have been a struggle for me.

That could work!
What time do you get off?

Uh… i’m not sure. Lou said she’d text me when I could bring Lux back… She said probably before five thirty, so probably before then? haha.

you have to drop her off?

I think so… that’s what Lou seemed to want. I don’t really know. She was v flustered and confused, I think.

are you taking the tube? with lux?

I could see the disapproval on Harry’s face, and I sighed.

… I don’t have a car. and buses take forever.

I could come drive you guys.

I had a sinking feeling that was what he was going to offer after he asked if I was taking the Tube.

That’s way far out of your way.

I don’t care.

Gas is expensive.

I’m rich.

I knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t boasting, and I silently giggled a bit at his answer.

Harry, it’s fine. I can drop her off and then swing by your’s after…

I realized that he hadn’t actually invited me over yet, and I felt my cheeks grow warm as I realized that I was imposing on him. I never wanted to take advantage of Harry, and I never wanted him to think I was.

unless you had something else in mind, of course.

We can hang out here, if you want.

I don’t care.

You should come over here. I can order pizza :D

haha, sounds good! I love pizza.

Lux rolled over, so that she was in the middle of the bed, and squished up against me. I was surprised she didn’t wake, but her soft little snores continued.

Text me when you’re leaving your flat.

Will do! See you soon! :)

As adorable as Lux was with her hair messy around her face, she somehow managed to take up most of the bed. She seemed to be soundly asleep, and I decided it was probably safe to leave her for a little while. The envelope from Michael called to me.

Creeping out of my room, I first put all of the food away in my own cabinet. It was a system Eva and I had set up at the beginning of the year. Most cabinets were for the both of us and had things like utensils and pots and pans, but we both had our own cabinets, as well. For the food we weren’t willing to share, and our own mugs and stuff. But after putting everything away, the only thing that remained in the box was the envelope.

I eyed it carefully before tearing it open. Michael’s familiar scrawl stared back at me:

Hi Savannah,
Thanks for the birthday card! You should write more. I never thought we’d be the siblings that went for months without communicating. Then again, I also never thought I’d be in jail.

I had a good birthday, all things considered. Your card was a nice belated present. Maria visited, which was nice. She’s always been such an important part of our family. Told me to keep my head up and watch out for bullies. Not that different from her middle school pep talks, huh?

Maria told me you were living in London and going to school there. Something about our grandparents. It was quite a shock, I guess, but when I saw your letter postmarked from London, I realized it was true. Wanna tell me what you’re doing there?

Prison life sucks. No if, ands, or buts about it. I don’t know what the hell our parents did, but I hate them for it. And if they didn’t do anything, I still hate them for being associated with these scumbags.

I see dad sometimes. He’s doing alright, all things considered. He denies everything, and I steer clear of him mostly. I haven’t been raped yet (knock on wood), and that’s a positive. Always look on the bright side of life, right?

I hope school’s going well for you. I don’t know how the British education system works, but I guess it’s almost finals time here and if it’s almost finals time there, I wish you the best of luck on your exams.

Write back soon.

Much love,
Michael

I didn’t realize I was crying until a teardrop hit the page. Wiping my eyes quickly, I put the letter down. Despite our age difference, Michael and I had always been close. When he went to school, we made a point of having a good conversation at least once week, and having a lunch or dinner date at least once a month. After Michael had first been put in jail, he had called me several times. I never told him that I was going to London; I just went one day.

And suddenly, I felt horrible for being the one who ended that. An image of Michael calling me repeatedly and getting no response flooded my brain, wondering what the hell had happened to me. He probably thought I was mad at him or kidnapped or dead.

“Savannah?” Eva’s voice broke through my thoughts. It was soft, and full of concern. I hadn’t even heard the door of the apartment open, but there she was, duffle bag in hand, “Savannah, are you crying?”

“Of course not.” I shook my head as I wiped my tears from my eyes. It was a lie, anyone with eyes could see that. The letter I was holding quickly became a crumpled little ball that I shoved in the pocket of my cardigan.

“Oh, Savannah,” Eva hurried over to me, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I told her quickly, “Just bullshit. How was Holmes Chapel?”

“It was fine,” she gave me a small, polite smile that reminded me of how she was when we first met, “It was nice to see my parents.”

Seeing Eva in person resigned me to the truth: we had to live with each other for another semester and then some. It wouldn’t do any good to stay mad at her.

“I’m sorry.” Like a movie, the words fell from our mouth’s in unison.

“I’m so sorry,” Eva hugged me tightly, “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have told everyone and I should have respected you.”

“I’m sorry, too,” I returned the embrace, “I’m sorry I overreacted and I’m sorry I got mad at you and… yeah.”

“I forgive you,” Eva told me, still holding me closely.

“I forgive you, too.” I broke the hug and took a step back; she was suffocating.

“Really, I’m sorry I was such a bitch,” Eva continued, still smiling kindly at me.

“Yeah, we both fucked up,” I agreed, and Eva let out a short breath of a laugh. She took a step back, studying the apartment. I threw the letter into the box while Eva was fixing a pillow that Lux had messed up.

“Do you have someone over?” Eva asked. She looked around, but seemed to miss Lux’s tiny shoes that were peeking out from under the coffee table. She must have taken them off while eating her cereal.

“Lux is sleeping in my room.” I picked up the box

“Not what I meant by having someone over, but okay,” Eva rolled her eyes and laughed, “I’ll keep that in mind. Are you going to check on her?”

I adjusted my hold on the box, “Yep.”

After a short struggle with the door handle, I managed it, placed the gigantic box haphazardly on the floor, and left the letter in his crumpled up state. Lux was still sleeping soundly when I glanced over at her, a peaceful look strewn across her face.

Beside her, I had left my phone sitting on the cover of the duvet. The screen of the phone flashed with a notification, and I instantly grabbed for it.

One New iMessage. One Missed Call. One New Voice Message.

I flipped to the iMessage first, seeing that it was from Harry.

Hey! Liam and Lydia and Louis and Amelie are going out for pizza tonight. They asked if we wanted to join. I said yes. I hope that’s fine?

Skimming over the message, I felt my heart begin to pound. It sounded like a group date, but I wasn’t really sure, and I didn’t really feel like I could ask.

Yeah, that’s fine! :)

I was far more curious about the call. The only person who ever called me was Lou, and it was still too early for her to be done with her meetings.

My heart stopped when I saw it was a number from Boston. The call was from two minutes ago; I had just barely missed them. I wasn’t even out of the room before I found myself hitting the play button on the message.

A short second of silence was followed by a gruff voice:

“Hello, Savannah, this is Wilson, the lawyer in charge of your parent’s and brother’s case. I’m calling on behalf of your parents. They wished to inform you that they have both changed their plea from not guilty to guilty. Tomorrow, they will formally change their plea. Separate sentencing trials will be scheduled for a short time after that. They will remain in custody throughout the ordeal. If you have any questions, please feel free to call me back.”