Last Seen in San Diego.

A little secret about me is that I loved feeling as if I was on cloud nine, as if some way I could fly. I always imagined how it would feel, being lifted up into the air thousands of feet high. That’s the feeling I was getting now, being lifted up into the air. It felt amazing, it felt real. It’s like I knew I was dreaming of it, but it was an unexplainable feeling. Getting my hopes up to be disappointed was something I hated dearly, so I decided to end this dream I was having. My eyes fluttered open, revealing nothing but blackness. I also took time to notice my breathing space was limited, and I’ve felt this feeling before. I tried not to freak out, knowing it would only make things worse for me. ‘Pretend you’re asleep Kellin’ I told myself, desperately trying to calm myself down. I heard various locks click, a creaking sound, and then a loud crash.

"Shit." The man said. His first word to me in 2 months. The voice was still unrecognizable, it wasn't one that I've heard before.

The flying feeling soon ended when I was dropped on a chair, or what I assumed to be a wooden chair. Fear was rushing through my veins, causing my heart to beat faster than it should. The burning feeling of the rope rubbing against my skin as I was tied up, trying to find my way out of this.

“Don’t hurt me, please.” I begged through the thin cloth that was suffocating me.

He removed the cloth from my head, allowing me to see my surroundings. It’s a dark room, the dim light focused on only me. I see his tall, lanky figure in the dark but I can’t make anything out of him. “Smile for me Kellin.” He said, knowing full well even if I did he couldn’t see it. A small shuttering sound and a bright flash, blinding me for about five seconds. Once my vision cleared, my eyes focus on what was in front of me. Waiting for a response, the noise rings from the phone in front of me.Once answered, sobs erupt from the speakers, killing me softly. I can identify those cries and that's what hurt the most.

"Mom?!?" I cried out.

"Kellin?!? Is that you?" She spoke over her cries. "Kay, it's Kellin!" She called for my sister, her voice more happy that she knows I'm alive.

"Kellin!" I could hear my little sisters cries from a distance.

"Kellin where are you? Please come home, it's been too long. I'm sorry for whatever I did." My mom cried, causing me to sob like I've never done before. It was then that I knew she's been holding this grudge against herself, hoping that I just had run away. That hurt me. The man watched the scene unfold, not doing anything about it. What was his motive? What's going on in his fucking head?

"You did nothing wrong ma, and I don't know where I am. Please find me, help me please." I cried out, a dirty hand covering my mouth. My muffled cries got louder and louder, loud enough for her to hear.

"Kellin? Are you okay? Kellin!!" She screamed through the phone. Biting the hand in front of me only earned me a fist colliding with my right cheek. I screamed out in pain, as my stomach was being jabbed with fists. He grabbed the phone and lifted it to his ear, after whispering threats to me and giving me warning glances as if I would be smart and listen to him. He whispered things to my mother, causing her to sob even more. It wasn't long before the call was over, and the room was filled with nothing but my cries.

“Why did you take us?” I managed to croak out, not being able to keep my mouth shut. I got no response. I was seeing nothing but darkness as the cloth was put back on and the ropes were removed. It didn’t take long for me to be lifted up into the air again. I tried to fight against his tight grip, but I couldn’t. I felt like if I was being taken to my death, that maybe he took a picture to put on my grave or to show the others before they receive the same treatment I did. ‘Goodbye world’ I thought to myself, tears already pouring down my face. I try my best to contain my cries but it’s hard. I don’t want him to hear me though, my death might come quicker. I hear the sound of locks again, my heart beat speeding quickly. If he doesn’t kill me, I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a heart attack. Everything happened too quickly. One second I was hoisted on his shoulder, the next I’m on the ground, a sharp pain shooting through my right side. The pain more focused on my arm since that’s what broke my fall. It took everything in me not to scream out in pain, all I could do was quietly sob. Soft whimpers passing through my lips. I heard the door slam but to my surprise, I wasn’t alone.

“Kellin? Is that you?” Tay asks, her voice cracking. I find the strength to nod my head, various footsteps padding quickly on the floor to where I am. A pair of hands gently take off the cloth off of my head, allowing me to see the worried faces of my friends.

“Kellin what happened to you?” Jenna asked. Everyone’s eyes were gazing over my body, eyes widening once they've seen the damage.

"Did he do that to you?" Tay spoke, but I just stared at her. I didn't have the energy to move as pain was exploring my entire body. "Kellin?" I try to answer her but I can't. They all just look at me, Tay and Jenna on the verge of tears.

"C'mon guys, let's take him to the couch. Vic, can you?" Mike asks, nodding his head towards me. Vic's eyes met mine, they weren't like they were that night we spoke, they weren't empty or full of hate. They were full of sadness and sympathy. Vic nodded, slowly walking toward me before grabbing me and hoisting me in his arms. I screamed out in pain, the softest touch could make my skin feel as if I'm being beaten all over again. I've must've scared Vic with my screams since I was dropped, thankfully on the couch. The soft padding didn't stop anymore pain from coming though.

"Fuck. Sorry." He muttered. It was like he didn't care at all. Maybe it wasn't my fault he dropped me.

I just looked at him, nodding slowly. He smiled at me before Oli came over to the couch, carefully sitting beside me as if I was some fragile object. I managed to force a smile at him, getting one in return. I heard a huff, before Vic returned to his corner. Isolating himself once again. He was fine before Oli sat with me. Then again these past months there's been a lot of tension between them. No one knows why.

"Can you speak?" He asked me softly.

"If he could don't you think he would've spoken to us by now?" Vic sneered from his corner. Oli just rolled his eyes, ignoring the rude comment.

"Why don't you get some rest?" He told me, everyone else nodding their heads in agreement. I honestly couldn’t have wanted anything else more. They all went on to their previous spots, possibly talking about everything that just happened. Everyone but Oli left, he stood by me which I was kind of grateful for. It felt good to have a feeling of being safe. I slowly close my eyes, letting sleep take over me as my body became numb.
-
8210424 was painted all over the walls, written in fresh blood. I looked over the room, trying to find anyone to help me get out of here. There was nothing.

“Help! Somebody. Anybody!” I cried out, but got no response. I’ve walked down the seemingly neverending hall, trying to ignore the screams I was hearing. There was a door at the end of the hallway, that door was the source to hell. The source to where the screams were coming from, I tried to turn around and run but he stopped me.

“It’s going to be okay.” The man whispered before pushing me into the room. The horrid stench filled my nose, making me release the little food I’ve been eating. Taking a step forward, I ignore the red liquid seeping in my shoes and continued to walk. There was no going back.

“Kellin?” A voice asked from behind me. I turned around meeting Jack’s dull eyes, I sighed in relief since it was someone I knew.

“Jack! oh my god, Jack where are we?” I asked but he just shrugged, walking away from me. “Wait where are you going?” I called out after him, hearing a faint call for Alex. I tried to follow him but once again I was left with nothing. The screams got more intense, you can make out the voices crying out for help. I continued to walk until I was locked inside a room, the walls closing in, suffocating me slowly. I tried to push the walls, but it was no use. I saw the numbers in my head and then the walls closed.

-two hours later-

I woke up panting, searching the room for any bloody walls, bloody floors or missing friends. To my luck, everyone was sound asleep on the sort of dirty but not bloody floor. I shouldn’t have been surprised, I’ve been getting nightmares about dying lately, all of them including those numbers. I still have no clue what they mean, and I’m not sure I ever will. I laid my head back on the soft padding of the couch and let myself fall back asleep, hopefully to a non-deadly dreamland.

-one hour later-

I was awoken a little bit later by the voices whispering in my head, or so it seemed. It took me awhile to realize that they weren't in my head, but right beside me. I didn’t reveal that I was awake to them, mainly because I didn’t want anyone to start bombarding me with questions. I felt slightly better. The pain in my arm is definitely there and aside from the other minor injuries, it’s not as bad as it was before. I decide to keep my eyes closed, trying to fall back asleep. After various tries, I just gave up. The whispers were getting louder, more forceful. I still refused to intervene.

“What the hell is your problem with me? What exactly have I done to you?” A voice I recognized as Oli’s spoke. No reply. “Seriously Vic? Ever since Kellin arrived you’ve been acting like more of a dick than usual. We used to best buddies, but as more people came, that’s gone away.” His voice fuming with anger. He was talking to Vic, I definitely wasn’t going to step in anytime soon.

“Keep it down, you’re going to wake him.” Vic snapped at him. Both of their voices still relatively low.

“Since when do you care about him?” Oli asked. I actually wanted to know as well. Although Vic and I talked that night, the rest of our time here we didn’t share that many words, only at night when everyone else was sleeping.

“I don’t care about him. Why are you so close to him anyways” Vic says, making my heart drop. Yes I’ve developed a crush on the older boy but even though we aren’t close, I still thought he cared about me in the littlest way.

“You can be a real dick you know that?” Oli says a bit rudely.

“Oli, shut up.” He muttered.

“Whatever Vic. You need to stop pushing people away, no one is going to hurt you like-”

“I said shut up.” Vic seethed, his voice not so distant anymore.

“Okay, okay. They’re going to find out soon though.” Oli told him, I took the chance to make my appearance.

“Find out what?” I croaked out. My voice raspy and throat dry, it kind of burned when I let out any words. Vic eyed Oli, signalling him to keep his mouth shut.

“Oh it’s nothing, just that we’re going to find out who the guy is.” Oli lied through his teeth.

“Oh really, how?” I ask, trying to make him crack. If there was one thing I could remember about Oli, it was how he hated being put in the spotlight.

“Oh uh, we don’t r-really know yet. But we’re going too.” He stuttered. I just nodded, not realizing Vic had slid his way over to me.

“So uh, how are you feeling?” He asked me, his eyes focused on the ground.

“I’m fine, still in pain physically, mentally and emotionally but I’m fine.” I told him truthfully.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked me, finally looking up. I tensed up, not really wanting to relive all of that, but I knew I had to.

“Only if this is the only time I have to say it.” I tell them, they look at each other before nodding. “Well he took me into some room, it was empty there wasn’t a single clue to where we are.” I told them, taking a deep breath. “He called my mother, had me speak to her. It was emotionally scarring. He just stood there, watching everything. He took a picture of me and beat me while my mom was on the phone, hearing me scream for him to stop." I tell them, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I'm sorry, Kells." Vic whispered, giving me the nickname that made my heart flutter. Stop it, this is not the time nor the place to be thinking about that. I just nodded, looking at Oli who had a sly grin on his face.

"What?" I ask Oli, snapping him back into reality.

"Nothing." He said, putting on a frown before speaking again. "So is that's what he's going to do to all of us?" He asks. I shrug in response. I honestly hoped not, they didn’t need to go through that. “It would be a good thing, at least our parents will know we are alive.” Oli spoke, causing us to shoot daggers at him

“I’m sorry what? What he did was not a good thing! what I went through was not a good thing! Hearing my mother cry over the phone was not a good thing!” I snapped, being a little louder than before.

“Kellin, I didn’t mean it like that.” He tried reasoning, but I didn’t want to hear it right now. I laid myself back down on the couch, my back facing the two.

“Oli, don’t.” I heard Vic whisper. I knew what Oli meant, and I felt sorry for snapping at him. But in no way was that a good thing, he won’t really understand until he goes through it himself. I hope none of them ever do. I sighed, thinking about how shitty I must’ve made Oli feel. I was just about to get up and apologize when I felt the couch sink down a little more. “Hey, you okay?” Vic whispered. I turned to look at him, to see him looking down at me.

“I’m fine.” I muttered.

“You know he really didn’t mean it, he just-”

“Yeah I know.” I say interrupting him. “I got all worked up, it’s whatever. You should probably leave before I end up snapping on you too. You already hate me enough as it is.” I tell him, already starting with the bullshit. Today has been a really bad day and I need to sleep it off. The thing about me is when I’m scared or upset, I get bitchy. I crave comfort but then I don’t want it. I want people to care for me, but then I want them to leave me alone. I’m a walking fucking paradox and I hate it. Without another word, he gets up and moves back over to Oli. Good, it’s what’s best for him right now. I closed my eyes trying to get to sleep, but I couldn’t. I found myself staring at the ceiling and getting lost in thought until the others woke up. That was another problem. I stood with Oli while Vic told everyone what I had said earlier this morning. Not once did he even sneak a glance at me.

“Oli?” I asked, turning my body towards him. He hummed in response. “Why does Vic act like a dick to everyone?” I ask, hoping he would give me an answer. He looked at me and frowned, that didn’t seem like a good sign.

“I don’t know kid, Vic’s a confusing person.” He tells me. I can’t help but think back to their conversation earlier.

“Oli, what are we going to find out soon?” I ask him, knowing full well he won’t know what I’m talking about.

“What do you mean?” He asked, looking genuinely confused.

“I was awake the whole time you were talking to Vic. You lied right in my face, I want to know.” I told him, his eyes went wide.

“Kellin, just forget about that okay?” He said a bit panicked.

“No, Oli please.” I begged him. He just kept saying that it was personal, and it wasn’t his place to say. “So I’ll just ask him.” I said, dismissing the conversation.

“What no! because then he will think I told you something. Kellin just leave it alone! He won’t tell you anyways. He doesn’t want the boy he -” He says but then stopped before letting anything slip. My heart started racing with that. Was he going to say boy he likes? Does Vic like me?

“The boy he what?” I ask him. He sighs, looking at down before muttering the four words that made my day even worse.

“The boy he hates.”

Those four words hurt me more than I expected. Like I said, I knew Vic and I weren’t close. But I always assumed he liked me at least as a friend. But what about all that stuff earlier? Maybe he just didn’t want to seem like a dick because Oli would call him out for it. I ignored every thought in my mind, ignored Vic and even ignored Oli at times. I didn’t want to be bothered by anyone, but I knew I couldn’t just isolate myself without being asked if I was okay every five minutes. I decided to take a long shower, not caring about time since the schedule we all had planned out was broken after a few weeks. After my shower, I hung out with everyone else for the hours remaining. I had some small talk with Oli, usually resulting in me just muttering words along the lines of “I’m okay” or “Okay.”, I’ll even sometimes respond with just a small hum. I knew it wasn’t his fault that Vic hated me, I just couldn’t help but feel that all this time I think he knew, and all this time I complained about Vic and how I felt for him and he didn’t once tell me that he hated me. He just continued getting my hopes up that maybe one day Vic would even take the chance to be nice to me. Night came around soon enough, Vic and I the only ones who remained awake. He kept sneaking glances over at me, and I only knew that because I can feel his eyes on me. I didn’t dare look over at him though, I wasn’t going to do that to myself.

“Kellin.” He whispered, his voice not that distant. I didn’t answer, I just rolled my eyes at him, fully aware that he could see and then turned on my side. My back facing him, so I didn’t have to look at his beautiful brown eyes. I slowly felt my body becoming numb as my brain followed in suit. It was time for me to sleep now, and I couldn’t be happier.

Maybe when I wake up, I won’t remember anything.