A Case of Unknown Identity

Jersey-Watchman666: I thought u hated me whats up? I messed u.

That_Pansy_Misfit: I had a... bad day

Jersey-Watchman666: bad day? tht was more than just a bad day.

That_Pansy_Misfit: culd u mayebe forget abt that

Jersey-Watchman666: are u gonna explain wut happened?

That_Pansy_Misfit: i’d rather not

Jersey-Watchman666: mmk, as long as we stll talking

Jersey-Watchman666: I gota go change my clths, hold on.

That_Pansy_Misfit: in the middl;e of the day?

Jersey-Watchman666: my brother threw me in a snow pile

Frank laughs out loud at this, knowing that Mikey threw Gerard in the snow again. He’s been shoved into a lot of ice in the past few days.

Gerard had been extremely surprised to see Frank talking to him again. Well not him, but Watchman anyway. He wants to know why Frank got mad at Watchman in the first place, but he just way too happy that he’s taking to him again, that he doesn’t want to threaten that. At least now he knows not to tell Frank who he is. Especially since Frank wants to kill the man behind the curtain.

Neither had realized how boring life had become without each other. It was like playing a video game with a different avatar, it’s still the same thing really but it feels off. Out of place and wrong. Frank puts Gerard’s number back in his phone and it feels almost like things are back to normal.

For two days, it feels better, but on Sunday Gerard can’t help but be terrified of the next day. He’s made a plan... it’s just not a very good one. He’s already too far in love with Pansy, and by default Frank, that he has no choice.

When Gerard wakes up he’s got pretty bad case of ‘I’d rather watch and feel myself be picked apart by vultures then go to school’ but he gets up and gets ready anyway.

“So are you going to push any more short kids in the hallways and steal their lunch money today Gerard?” Mikey asks, as they walk to school.

“No, Mikey, could you stop?”

“I don’t think so. You’re an ass, Gerard. You’re a bully.”

“Mikey I’m going to stop. I’m going to stop today.”

“Oh what are you going to do, go up to Lucas and Trevor and tell them to quit?”

“Yep, that was pretty much the plan. If you don’t see me at lunch it’s probably because they beat me unconscious and threw me in the dumpster,” Gerard answers.

Mikey looks at him a little alarmed, “Wait, you’re actually serious?”

“Yes, I’m actually serious.”

“That’s social suicide. And also probably suicide.”

“Well it’s the only way I’m going to start being a better person. I’ve put up with it for too long, Mikey. I don’t want to be this person anymore.”

“Well that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Mikey says, “but I’m proud of you bro.”

Frank, runs up to them at that and completely disregards Gerard’s existence when he walks side by side with Mikey.

Gerard pretends not to notice and hurries in front of them to get to school quickly. When he gets there his heart starts racing faster than is safe for a human heart.

He takes several long deep breaths before meeting Lucas and Trevor by their lockers, which are conveniently next to each other, and across the school from Gerard’s. This means he barely has time to get his books for first period before he confronts them.

Lucas barely looks up at him when he approaches and his hair looks especially grimy today, making Gerard wonder if he knows what showers are for. He smells like a used condom so Gerard also guesses that he didn’t sleep alone last night. Gerard tries not to be jealous of that fact.

“Hey man,” Lucas says, grabbing a paper from Trevor. Trevor’s IQ is still lower than the number of Baldwin brothers, so it takes his troll brain a minute to even realize Gerard’s there. Honestly, Trevor is so stupid he probably thinks the Constitution is a brand of soap.

“So,” Gerard says, and then he forgets what he was about to say because he’s terrified of their reactions. It’s such a horrible thing to be afraid of your ‘friends.’ People say you can’t have a toxic friendship but they don’t even realize just what that entails. Toxic friendships include peer pressure to do horrible things and make your life miserable which Gerard’s just so happens to be right now. Toxic friendships are just as real as toxic relationships, thank you very much.

“So...?” Lucas asks, looking up at him expectantly.

“Um I have something I would like to say,” he says and he almost can’t get the last words out because his vocal chords decide to cop out about halfway through.

“Hey look there’s that short kid,” Lucas says, and Gerard’s heart quickens, past the already deafening rate, when he sees Frank walk down the hall.

Of course he has to walk down the hall while Gerard’s doing this! Of course! The universe fucking hates Gerard.

Trevor, being a few fries short of a happy meal, apparently didn’t get the memo that they weren’t hurting Frank anymore and thus decides it’s an appropriate time to slam the kid against a locker bay, out of nowhere.

“Hey, Stop!” Gerard says, and pulls Trevor away from Frank who looks unhurt but ticked off. Trevor glares at Gerard but doesn’t move because Lucas’ stare keeps him frozen. Frank looks at Gerard with a face almost like disgust.

“Relax, it’s just once for old time’s sake,” Lucas says, smiling.

Oh god, he’s going to have to do this in front of Frank. Well at least this way Frank will know he did what he asked.

“No,” Gerard says firmly, and he actually looks kind of confident despite the fact that he’s harrowing on the inside.

“Why?” Lucas ask, with annoyance.

“Because I said so,” Gerard answers.

“Who says I take rules from you, Gerard?” Good point, considering Lucas is the ring leader.

Gerard takes a deep breath, “This is going to stop Lucas.”

“Stop?” Lucas asks with a hint of amusement.

Gerard stands in front of Frank so that Lucas is directly in front of him and continues, “Yes. This is going to stop. This senseless bullying.”

Lucas laughs, “Is it now? Why?”

“Because I’m tired of being a bad person. What’s the point? Being unethical and cruel doesn’t improve anyone’s life. No one wins when you’re being mean! All you get is emptiness and hate, and I don’t want that anymore.”

“What do you want, Gerard? You want to be a fucking nerd? A goody-goody?”

“I want to be a moral human being! Someone who doesn’t hurt people for fun, because I don’t get it. What makes you so much better because you’re a bully?”

“Dominance. Respect,” Lucas answers.

“No Lucas, don’t mistake respect for infamy. No one likes you Lucas. Why should they? You’re a dickhead.”

Lucas scrunches his nose as if he smells something really nasty and narrows his eyes at Gerard, who is still standing in front of a very confused looking Frank.

“Is this your way of sticking up for yourself, Gerard? You’re not very good at it, you have to bring me down to make yourself feel better. Double standard much?”

“No, I don’t need to tear anyone down to know that I have worth. There’s two ways to form a dent in this world Lucas, and one of them is to build, the other is to destroy. I’m done destroying because it only ever hurts. Why would you ever hurt someone when the goal of living is to be happy? Why would you ever take away someone’s happiness when it doesn’t even benefit your own?”

“Because it’s fun.”

“It’s wrong, and it’s pointless!”

Lucas doesn’t say anything and just looks at Gerard for a long moment before turning to Trevor as if he expects him to do something. Trevor probably understood 6% of the words they just said.

“So what are you saying Gerard?”

“I’m saying you’re a mean person, Lucas. You’re mean, and all you ever do is instill fear and sadness, and I am done. I don’t want any part of that. I don’t want you near me, and I don’t want you to ever hurt anyone ever again.”

“What makes you think I’m going to stop?” Lucas taunts.

“I have no doubt that you’re going to keep being an asshole, but from here on in, I will not participate, and you can be damn sure I will defend anyone you try to harm. I just want you to know your place. I want you to know that no one likes you. Know that you’re the reason people go home at night and ask God for their own death. You, and everyone like you, are what makes this world so rotten, and I’m done with that.”

“You keep saying that Gerard,“ Lucas says raising his voice, “you keep saying that you’re done, and you think it’s that easy! You think you can just stop bullying and you’ll make friends for quitting, and you’ll be accepted by your peers because you’ve seen the holy light or some shit. We don’t live in a fantasy world, and it certainly doesn’t spin like that.”

“No Lucas, I was never under that impression. I’m restarting, sure, and in doing so I know I’ll be hated for my past, but I know that what I did was wrong, and I’m coming to grips with that. I don’t expect anyone to forgive me, and I wouldn’t want them to, I just know that it’s never going to get any better for me or anyone else unless I try. This is me admitting that I have done wrong, and this is me committing to never repeat that.”

Lucas says nothing than puckers his lips snootily.

“Fine. If that’s what you want Gerard. If you’re making a promise, then I’ll make one too. I’ll promise you that the rest of your high school career, from today forward, is going to be hell. Have fun being the little wimp I always knew you were.”

“Thank you for the consideration,” Gerard answers.

Lucas walks away at that, and Trevor follows him like a lemming.

Gerard had completely forgotten Frank was behind him until he speaks up to say, “That was the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. You must be batshit crazy or huffed a little too much lens cleaner. You’re going to get disemboweled... or eviscerated, which is basically the same thing.”

“I’m glad you have such high faith in me,” Gerard answers.

“I didn’t say it wasn’t impressive.”