A Case of Unknown Identity

“Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit.”

Gerard looks at himself in the mirror of the school bathroom. That kid, the kids he lets his friends beat up at lunch everyday... that kid is the person who haunts his dreams. The kid is the guy he’s in love with.

“Oh shit,” he says once more, looking at his own face in the mirror. How did he never even look twice at that kid? He knew Pansy lived in Jersey, wasn’t it a slight possibility that he went to Gerard's fucking school as well? It’s not a tiny state in population but it’s certainly not huge. He doesn’t live in China for gods sake!

“Oh god, calm down,” he tells himself. Maybe it wasn’t him. Defenestrate is a word, it’s not like that kid could’ve just pulled it out of thin air absently, because he has access to a dictionary. But how many people actually know that word? Gerard didn’t, that’s for sure. That kid even gave him the same word-for-word definition that Pansy did. Plus it’s likely that the word was still fresh in his mind because they’d talked about it last night.

How could he have been so stupid then? He lets his friends beat the kid up, and other kids and he never thought once that the kids they’re beating up could be wonderful and perfect. Pansy alone is basically the most amazing human to have ever walked this earth, maybe those other kids are amazing to.

This has to stop. He has to find out Pansy’s name and he has to make sure they stop hurting him. Whatever it takes. If that kid isn’t Pansy then he should have the freedom to walk safely down the halls anyway but if he is, than its Gerard’s duty to make his life get better. After all he’s almost typed ‘I love you’ in the chat several times.

He has one plus though. Now he has a face. A really beautiful face as well. That kid is gorgeous. He has long dark hair in a fringe over his eye, coupled with a really sexy and lean frame. Now to find out his name.

Gerard walks out of the bathroom door to go meet up with his friends back at their lunch table, and sits down absently, only barely registering their conversation. They’ve always been so annoying, but they’re better than nothing. Bully or be bullied.

Lucas, the blonde, is the biggest egomaniac Gerard has ever met, and Trevor doesn’t know a tree from a pudding cup.

“Hey guys do you know that... short kids name?” Gerard finally asks.

“What short kid?” Trevor replies looking pained by the mere semblance of using his brain.

“That one kid, before lunch, and this morning,” he asks trying to sound vague.

Trevor shrugs looking completely clueless, but what else is new?

“Frank something, why?” Lucas says stirring his plastic fork mindlessly.

Frank. It fits him perfectly. Pansy even acts like a Frank... or maybe a Frankie? There’s a name though. A name to a face, and that’s what matters. He tries not to think about certain situations in which he would scream that name out, but come one who is he kidding?

“No reason, just thought it was weird what... what he said. Never heard that word.”

Lucas looks at Gerard full of derisiveness, “probably not a real word.”

Gerard puts on his best innocent look and shrugs. Lucas is actually a fairly smart guy. He’s got straight A’s in most of his classes and he’s the kind of person who you’d cheat off of in class but he’s really intimidating in size and muscle. Lucas has greasy blonde hair that’s probably never had more than one or two showers a week, and he’s on several sports teams, including football so the guy can take you down.

“You’re crazy, man,” Lucas says, looking away from him.

“I was thinking though...” Gerard starts but drifts off.

“Thinking what?”

“What? Oh, um... I was just thinking,” Gerard can’t seem to come up with any coherent combination of words, and his mind drifts off until he receives a malice filled look from Trevor, “okay, um... see the thing is, er, that short kid he’s...”

“He’s what? Dude, do you have a hangover or something?”

“No! Just didn’t get much sleep. The thing is that, he’s um,” Gerard is starting to look like an idiot, but he gets a quick and incredibly stupid excuse, “his mom, that kid, Frank’s mom, works with my mom. I don’t want his mom finding out that we, you know... and telling my mom.”

“Aw, yo mommy gonna get mad at you?” Lucas says without a hint of remorse. It’s a stupid lie but it just might be able to save Frank from bullying if Gerard can play his cards right.

“Well if I get grounded than I won’t be able to hang out or get you guys free booze and shit,” he says. Lucas and Trevor are constantly getting drunk because Gerard has a friend who works at the liquor store and has access to beer even though he’s underage. Gerard will partake in the drinking but he never gets hammered the way they do. Sometimes they’re so drunk that they actually forget to go to school the next day and wind up falling asleep in the park. That has never happened to Gerard thankfully, but if it did his brother would never let him hear the end of it.

Lucas considers this for a few moments. The only reason Gerard is even considered a friend of theirs is because of that very reason. He’s a bit of a wimp, and he wears eyeliner which is really emo, so they’ve never been exactly enthusiastic about his company.

“Alright man. Just the one kid then, just Frank. We’ll leave that little twerp alone, but you owe me one,” Lucas says looking lackadaisical by his own words.

“Cool,” Gerard replies trying to look indifferent but, secretly, he's relieved. That’s at least one repentance Gerard can make.

Frank is, for lack of a better word, gorgeous. Gerard can’t see wherever he is in the large cafeteria, but he can picture the boy in his head. He’d never allowed himself to consider Pansy as an extremely attractive person because that was kind of wishful thinking but now that he knows it’s almost definitely this Frank kid, he couldn’t be happier.

For one thing Frank goes to his school, which means Gerard’s chances with him, though not large, are infinitely better than he’d thought. Another added bonus is Gerard now has the opportunity to try and make himself a better person before coming clean to Frank. Frank doesn’t know who Watchman is and if he does know, than the kid deserves an Oscar more than Leonardo Dicaprio. Its unlikely Frank has any idea who Gerard is.

Plus Frank fits some of the things Gerard had figured out about him. Pansy had to be a short guy, because he’d always said he was an inch away from being a kindergartener, and Frank is definitely a shorty. Pansy had mentioned once that he’d gotten his lip pierced which Frank fits the criteria of. Pansy also talked about bullies a few times, Gerard never thought for one second that Frank was actually talking about him. They’ve come full circle.

While knowing who Frank is may be one thing, the tough part will be getting close to Frank. Getting close enough so that he can tell him who Watchman is. It’s not like Gerard can just go over there and say, “Hey, so I know I’ve beaten you up a few times, and what not, but I’m actually completely in love with you and I know your deepest darkest secrets. Want to be my boyfriend?”

Gerard wistfully stares at his hands which are drumming against the table impatiently. How on earth is he going to go about making a kid who hates him fall in love with him?

This will be a doozy.