Status: will update when possible!

Come Live With Me

My mother is ill. Ever since my father left she's become this empty shell - a vessel with no soul. I pick up god knows what from the chemist, she takes it and distances herself from me further. Then there's the comedowns - 'whore', 'tramp', 'bitch' and whatever other insults a mother could throw at a daughter.

I have no time for anything but college and my mother. I've been a pretty clean girl in most senses; I can't afford to drink unless I put by a little each week and binge at the end of the month, I smoke only when I can afford it to cope with the stresses of being constantly exhausted, and I haven't had sex; I've messed around with boys, sure, but I've never had the time to commit to a relationship because of the ideas I'm fed by my mother. I know I shouldn't listen to them, but when your mother tells you these awful stories about love, men and life, it resonates within you... haunts you.

There is a hole inside of me, and I need it filled. I need excitement, romance, danger, wildness... everything that makes life an adventure, helps you escape from the tedium of never ending chores or hard work.

I just need someone to listen, but I'm scared.