Baby Came Home

/ Jesse's POV /

Harmony and I had our ups and downs in the relationship. There were good moments but most were bad. I remember when she told me that it was over and she had found another man. She told me to leave her alone and to try not to ruin her new relationship with the lovely man she was with. When she left me alone, I was lost. Nothing made sense to me. I spent most of my nights smoking blunts and drinking mass amounts of alcohol. It went on for a few weeks until she showed up at my doorstep, looking as lost as me. She cried onto my chest and once again, she fit perfectly in my arms.

'Baby came home today; Told me to stay away, she told me her man was afraid, told me i better behave. Baby just came back around'

When things got better in our relationship, she'd pack up and leave. She told me that she needed space away from me and needed time to explore outside the small town we, she , was stuck in. I always accepted her choices though, because truth be told, I couldn't say no. As my brain kept telling me no, something always took over my mind and in the end, I always allowed her to do whatever she wanted. When she left our apartment, a man picked her up. He was nothing like me, maybe that's why she chose him over of me. When he came into the apartment to take the last of her things, he told me to stay away from her and to not interfere because apparently, I've done it way too many times .

'Told me she's leaving this town; says she needs time to explore. He said i can't love her no more.'

Actually thinking back to everything, this had happened a few times. She'd leave me for another man, then came running back in my arms when she noticed how much she missed me. The question that's on everyone's minds was, did I mind it when she left? Honestly, yes. I mean who would be okay with any of that? What society has taught us all, is that if you're in love with someone, you'd commit to them... Not for Harmony though. She never did commitment. As much as she told me how she loved me, a part of me never felt like it was enough. She'd reassure me that nothing would stop her from loving me, but after that she'd leave me again.

Was she ever mine? Technically no but yes. It sounds weird and not right but that's how our relationship was. Nothing was certain, it was like we were both bipolar. Nothing mattered though because at the end of the day, we were in love with each other. If you saw her in a relationship with another man, you could see that her heart wasn't in it because she'd always be mine, just like how I'd always be hers.

'Thinkin about her. Shes gone all the time. I think if you found her, even you would know shes mine.'

I remember the last time I saw her. I should've known that she'd leave me again. Our relationship was never perfect but the last few weeks with her was. We were somewhat a normal couple. We didn't argue, we went on dates, we made love to each other then cuddle; it was perfect. It ended soon when I found her in the kitchen with her head buried in her hands. Her suitcase was next to her, packed and ready to go. I remember thinking that this was stupid, that she'd come crawling back to me in a week or so. Oh boy, was I wrong.

She screamed at me for loving her. She screamed at me for making her love in love with me. Then she kissed me hard, leaving me breathless and wanting more. She pulled away and cried. She kept repeating to me that she loved me, but she told me that she was never coming back then left. I waited for weeks for her to come back, but after the 5th week, it hit me that she had actually left me. All her last words to me weren't empty threats, they were promises. What killed me the most was that I didn't tell her I loved her back. I watched as she left me, alone and cold. Our apartment didn't feel like ours anymore. It felt so cold and dirty.

Whenever I stepped into the apartment that was supposed to be ours, I felt sick and alone. Every inch of the apartment reminded me of her. I missed her petite body that fit perfectly against mine; I missed that her lips would explore every inch of my body; I missed how every time we fought, we'd make up by showing how much we loved each other; I missed her rosy scent; I missed our stupid arguments; I missed her . As the apartment reminded me so much of her, I moved the following week. I sold it and left off to a new place, somewhere across the town, far away as possible. Everything felt wrong. Alcohol couldn't even fix me, I was too broken to even do anything. So for the next couple of months, I just sat in my bedroom writing. Writing poems, stories, songs; anything. But everything I wrote always led to her. Fuck!

I guess she's gone now. I wonder where she is now. I wonder if she's seen me on tv, or heard me on the radio and regretted ever leaving me. I wonder what happened to her. Is she even still alive? God I hope so. Maybe one day I'll see her again. And this time, I'll be the one to leave her.

'So baby packed up all she had, promised to never come back. She left me alone and without, skin I could study about. Tiles get colder to touch, wood splinters, metal will rust. But baby, oh baby, she had all my trust, I guess it was never enough...
Thinkin about her. She's gone all the time. I think if you found her, even you would know shes mine.'