Status: one shot :)
Goodbye
goodbye for now
I sit backstage next to my boyfriend Chad at CONSOL Energy Center in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as my team preps me for the ending song of my concert. I am debuting my song Goodbye for my fans and it seems appropriate to end a concert with a "goodbye." No one knows the real reason for my choosing of Goodbye in this particular venue except for me and hopefully he will.
I knew he was coming via James Neal's tweet earlier in the week. So I private messaged James to help me get him here with his family, not dropping a hint about our past. He promised that he'd make sure the family was there and that they'd meet me backstage afterwards as a "favor" in return for using "their" venue.
But all I could think about was seeing him this once to finally clear the air. I need him to know that I will always love him even though we both have separate lives that are far apart.
Summer 1999
"Avril, come down for lunch," my mother called up the stairs.
I sighed as I reluctantly set down my guitar and went to join my family and my father's friends for lunch. The Fleury family was coming over as they were vacationing in Ontario for the summer and haven't seen us in years. Their son Marc-Andre was my age and the last time we were together was when we were 3. Now that we are both around 15, I doubted we would have anything in common.
I went onto the deck and saw a tall and skinny boy with a contagious smile standing next to my father and my brother, Matthew. They all sat down and I joined them, slipping into the seat next to Marc-Andre.
Marc, as he asked me to call him, and I left lunch early to go on a walk. I learned that even though he was into hockey and I was into music, we had much more in common than I had initially thought. Our walk continued until the sun had begun to set.
"I had a great time, Avril," he told me in French and I smiled.
"Me too," I whispered giving him a hug while holding back tears.
"I want to see you again," Marc said,"I'll be here all summer."
I nod and he lowered his head until his lips hovered over mine. Marc connected our lips as quickly as he pulled back with a smile.
"See you soon, my Avril," he said as he walked off to join his family.
I stood there in the stun of my first kiss. Even though it was fast, it was indescribable. I went to bed that night with the largest smile I had ever worn and my parents just couldn't figure it out.
The rest of that summer, Marc and I were inseparable. We kissed, laughed, and I fell in young, stupid love. But I didn't know it, nor did he. One day, he just left. I knew it would happen but not without goodbye.
I learned that he started dating this girl named Veronique. Pictures of them told me that they were madly in love and each of them knew it. I never got to tell him how I felt and thought I never would.
Present
"Time to go, Av," the stylist tells me after he finishes my hair.
I nod in thanks and hurry to my spot. I sit at the piano in front of the crowd and start playing in sync with the orchestra for my introduction.
"When I was fifteen," I tell them,"I spent my summer with the most down-to-earth, lovable guys you could ever meet. And then my foolish, fifteen year old self fell in love with him. He left without goodbye and before I could tell him how I felt."
The 'aws' of the crowd fill the large complex and I can see the mascara lines on some girls faces. Their compassion for my gut-wrenching pierces my heart dearly.
"He moved here," I continue and get the roar of the crowd to which I smile softly,"And I can only hope he is hear and knows it's him."
The violins and cellos squeal out the opening of the song and I take a deep breath before I begin to sing,
"Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye my love
I can't hide, can't hide, can't hide what has come
I have to go
I have to go
I have to go
And leave you alone
But always know
Always know
Always know that I love you so
I love you so
I love you so, oh
Goodbye brown eyes
Goodbye for now
Goodbye sunshine
Take care of yourself
I have to go
I have to go
I have to go
And leave you alone
But always know
Always know
Always know that I love you so
I love you so, oh
I love you so, oh
La lullaby
Distract me with your rhymes
La lullaby
La lullaby
Help me sleep tonight
La lullaby
(La lullaby, la lullaby)
I have to go (goodbye)
I have to go (lullaby)
I have to go (goodbye)
And leave you alone
But always know (goodbye)
Always know (brown eyes)
Always know (goodbye)
That I love you so
I love you so (goodbye lullaby)
I love you so, oh (goodbye)
I love you so (goodbye brown eyes)
I love you so (goodbye)
I love you so
I love you so
Goodbye brown eyes
Goodbye my love..."
The outro hums out and the cheers of all the people numb my ears. I tell them my goodbyes and promise I'll return as soon as possible. I leave the stage and into the arms of Chad to whom I choke out sobs into his t-shirt.
"Avril!" I hear someone call out and turn to see James Neal with a goofy grin.
"Hi Jay," I smile giving him a half hug and introduce him to Chad.
I hear Marc's familiar voice call out and I turn toward the sound. A petite women with a baby follows him toward. His brown eyes lock with mine and brighten.
"My Avril," he says loudly while sweeping me into a large hug which I cannot help but reciprocate.
"Marc," I breathe.
Veronique and Chad give us confused looks but James stands there in triumph. He ushers our significant others and Marc's baby girl off to the side to give us time to talk.
"Hi," I whisper,"I missed you."
Pain fills his eyes,"I know. I'm sorry I did that to you. You don't deserve that and I just left."
I nod and bite down on my lip.
"Avril, I loved you," he continues in quiet French,"It hurt me to leave you but we never could've had a functioning relationship. With me being scouted and your music career taking off, we would've never worked and that coulda hurt us even more."
I hug him,"I loved you, too. And I do agree. We woulda hurt each other."
He nods,"I loved the song."
"Thank you," I say as Veronique and baby, Estelle, walk back over,"You have a beautiful family."
Veronique smiles,"Thank you, Avril."
I smile back,"It was nice seeing you again, Marc. Goodbye."
He smiles sadly,"Goodbye, my Avril."
He leans down and gives me a hug and I hold back my tears. I give Veronique and James quick hugs and hold Estelle for a short while.
"You are very lucky to have your Daddy and Mommy," I tell her in French and I see Veronique smile out of the corner of my eye,"They love you and then one day, I know, you'll find a boy who'll love you like how your Daddy loves Mommy or how Uncle Chad loves me."
Estelle gurgles and presses her little face into my shoulder.
I press a kiss to her head before handing her back to Marc,"Bye baby girl."
"Say bye Auntie Avril," Marc tells her with the adoring look in his eye.
I give the group a wave before walking back to Chad and holding onto him in a hug.
He kisses my head,"James explained. Are you all better?"
I smile up at him with watery eyes,"Yes and now we both have something here in Pittsburgh; our niece, Estelle."
Chad smiles down at me,"I like that now let's go to the hotel."
I nod and we walk to the car that arrived to take us back to the Marriott we were staying in. And for once in this large city, I knew I could sleep through the night because sometimes goodbye means hello all over again.
I knew he was coming via James Neal's tweet earlier in the week. So I private messaged James to help me get him here with his family, not dropping a hint about our past. He promised that he'd make sure the family was there and that they'd meet me backstage afterwards as a "favor" in return for using "their" venue.
But all I could think about was seeing him this once to finally clear the air. I need him to know that I will always love him even though we both have separate lives that are far apart.
Summer 1999
"Avril, come down for lunch," my mother called up the stairs.
I sighed as I reluctantly set down my guitar and went to join my family and my father's friends for lunch. The Fleury family was coming over as they were vacationing in Ontario for the summer and haven't seen us in years. Their son Marc-Andre was my age and the last time we were together was when we were 3. Now that we are both around 15, I doubted we would have anything in common.
I went onto the deck and saw a tall and skinny boy with a contagious smile standing next to my father and my brother, Matthew. They all sat down and I joined them, slipping into the seat next to Marc-Andre.
Marc, as he asked me to call him, and I left lunch early to go on a walk. I learned that even though he was into hockey and I was into music, we had much more in common than I had initially thought. Our walk continued until the sun had begun to set.
"I had a great time, Avril," he told me in French and I smiled.
"Me too," I whispered giving him a hug while holding back tears.
"I want to see you again," Marc said,"I'll be here all summer."
I nod and he lowered his head until his lips hovered over mine. Marc connected our lips as quickly as he pulled back with a smile.
"See you soon, my Avril," he said as he walked off to join his family.
I stood there in the stun of my first kiss. Even though it was fast, it was indescribable. I went to bed that night with the largest smile I had ever worn and my parents just couldn't figure it out.
The rest of that summer, Marc and I were inseparable. We kissed, laughed, and I fell in young, stupid love. But I didn't know it, nor did he. One day, he just left. I knew it would happen but not without goodbye.
I learned that he started dating this girl named Veronique. Pictures of them told me that they were madly in love and each of them knew it. I never got to tell him how I felt and thought I never would.
Present
"Time to go, Av," the stylist tells me after he finishes my hair.
I nod in thanks and hurry to my spot. I sit at the piano in front of the crowd and start playing in sync with the orchestra for my introduction.
"When I was fifteen," I tell them,"I spent my summer with the most down-to-earth, lovable guys you could ever meet. And then my foolish, fifteen year old self fell in love with him. He left without goodbye and before I could tell him how I felt."
The 'aws' of the crowd fill the large complex and I can see the mascara lines on some girls faces. Their compassion for my gut-wrenching pierces my heart dearly.
"He moved here," I continue and get the roar of the crowd to which I smile softly,"And I can only hope he is hear and knows it's him."
The violins and cellos squeal out the opening of the song and I take a deep breath before I begin to sing,
"Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye my love
I can't hide, can't hide, can't hide what has come
I have to go
I have to go
I have to go
And leave you alone
But always know
Always know
Always know that I love you so
I love you so
I love you so, oh
Goodbye brown eyes
Goodbye for now
Goodbye sunshine
Take care of yourself
I have to go
I have to go
I have to go
And leave you alone
But always know
Always know
Always know that I love you so
I love you so, oh
I love you so, oh
La lullaby
Distract me with your rhymes
La lullaby
La lullaby
Help me sleep tonight
La lullaby
(La lullaby, la lullaby)
I have to go (goodbye)
I have to go (lullaby)
I have to go (goodbye)
And leave you alone
But always know (goodbye)
Always know (brown eyes)
Always know (goodbye)
That I love you so
I love you so (goodbye lullaby)
I love you so, oh (goodbye)
I love you so (goodbye brown eyes)
I love you so (goodbye)
I love you so
I love you so
Goodbye brown eyes
Goodbye my love..."
The outro hums out and the cheers of all the people numb my ears. I tell them my goodbyes and promise I'll return as soon as possible. I leave the stage and into the arms of Chad to whom I choke out sobs into his t-shirt.
"Avril!" I hear someone call out and turn to see James Neal with a goofy grin.
"Hi Jay," I smile giving him a half hug and introduce him to Chad.
I hear Marc's familiar voice call out and I turn toward the sound. A petite women with a baby follows him toward. His brown eyes lock with mine and brighten.
"My Avril," he says loudly while sweeping me into a large hug which I cannot help but reciprocate.
"Marc," I breathe.
Veronique and Chad give us confused looks but James stands there in triumph. He ushers our significant others and Marc's baby girl off to the side to give us time to talk.
"Hi," I whisper,"I missed you."
Pain fills his eyes,"I know. I'm sorry I did that to you. You don't deserve that and I just left."
I nod and bite down on my lip.
"Avril, I loved you," he continues in quiet French,"It hurt me to leave you but we never could've had a functioning relationship. With me being scouted and your music career taking off, we would've never worked and that coulda hurt us even more."
I hug him,"I loved you, too. And I do agree. We woulda hurt each other."
He nods,"I loved the song."
"Thank you," I say as Veronique and baby, Estelle, walk back over,"You have a beautiful family."
Veronique smiles,"Thank you, Avril."
I smile back,"It was nice seeing you again, Marc. Goodbye."
He smiles sadly,"Goodbye, my Avril."
He leans down and gives me a hug and I hold back my tears. I give Veronique and James quick hugs and hold Estelle for a short while.
"You are very lucky to have your Daddy and Mommy," I tell her in French and I see Veronique smile out of the corner of my eye,"They love you and then one day, I know, you'll find a boy who'll love you like how your Daddy loves Mommy or how Uncle Chad loves me."
Estelle gurgles and presses her little face into my shoulder.
I press a kiss to her head before handing her back to Marc,"Bye baby girl."
"Say bye Auntie Avril," Marc tells her with the adoring look in his eye.
I give the group a wave before walking back to Chad and holding onto him in a hug.
He kisses my head,"James explained. Are you all better?"
I smile up at him with watery eyes,"Yes and now we both have something here in Pittsburgh; our niece, Estelle."
Chad smiles down at me,"I like that now let's go to the hotel."
I nod and we walk to the car that arrived to take us back to the Marriott we were staying in. And for once in this large city, I knew I could sleep through the night because sometimes goodbye means hello all over again.
♠ ♠ ♠
Here you go! :)