Wounded Warrior No More

Wow this tour has been amazing and I've learned so much along the way. I've learned what it's like to be in love and I can see how passionate Zacky and the guys are about their music and the fans that come along for the ride. Every state we go to the crowds have gotten larger and even more louder than the first show I attended but I surely did have fun. We're on our way to Dallas, Texas after doing shows all over the East Coast. When the bus crossed over the Maine state line...all the memories came back to me. I felt like crying but I knew I couldn't. That was a long time ago but I made it a point to everyone that I wanted to stop and see some people. I can remember it just like it happened yesterday...

I looked out the window at the welcoming sign into our old hometown of English Mountain Cove. A sadness waved over my body as I watched the tour bus stop in front of a hotel we'll be staying in for a few nights before heading to Dallas. I got off the bus with the others and checked into the hotel. Zacky and I were sharing a room like always and once I sat my things down I turned to Zacky.

"I want to meet some people while we're here." I said grabbing his hand. He didn't protest as I pulled him from the room and went to each of the rooms and told them to meet us down in the lobby in 5 minutes. Zacky and I stood down in the lobby until all of them were there. Payge was giving me questioning looks as we left the building and began walking down the sidewalk. I stopped us in front of my parents home. Payge came over to me and I could see the look of sadness on her face. I wiped away a stray tear before looking over at the guys and girls standing beside us.

"This was our old home. We had some great memories in that home and when we had to give it up...it broke me in 2 and Payge begged me not to let it go but I had no choice." I said staring at the run down home in front of me. I guess the funeral home couldn't get anyone to take the home. I walked up to the front door and pushed it open. Everything still looked the same. All the furniture was still where it was when we left all those years ago. I left the house with Payge as she wiped her eyes and took her place beside Matt. Zacky took my hand as we continued to walk up the street.

A floral shop that's been there for a long time was still in business so I went inside and bought some roses. I held the roses in my arms as we kept walking. We came to the cemetery a few minutes later and I led them inside. I spotted my parents grave a few feet ahead and I stopped. Payge came up to me and I handed her some flowers as well as gave one to each person who stood with us. I took Zacky's hand and led him over to the grave of my parents. I laid my bundle of roses on top of the headstone that marked both of their final resting places.

"Can you give me a minute Zacky?" I asked still staring down at the headstones. All I heard from him was his footsteps walking away. I took a deep breath in and sighed loudly trying to keep the tears at bay.

"God I wish you both were here. Mom, you didn't deserve to die during childbirth and not get to see your little Payge grow up into the woman she is. Dad...you didn't deserve that stupid fuck head of a trucker to slam into your car and kill you. You both deserve to be here to watch your little girls grow up and teach them the lessons that comes with life. When both of you were gone, I took it upon myself to take care of Payge and I guess I did alright. She's out of high school and now has a husband. I joined the military to support her and I've been sent home with an injury that's irreversable. I'm sorry this happened to you and I wish I could take your places...goddamnit I wish I could!" I said falling to my knees and letting the tears flow from my face. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Zacky. He wrapped his arms around me as I cried. It was the first time I had ever cried in a very long time.

I stood to my feet with Zacky's help and the others came over to see if I was alright. Payge looked down at the graves and her hand went to her mouth. She hugged me after Zacky let me go. I watched Payge as she put her flowers down on the ground in the middle of their names. Zacky was the first to set his single rose down and the others followed.

"We love you mom and dad. Please rest with peace." Payge and I said together. Payge went to Matt with tears in her eyes again and he led her away from the grave. One by one the others left the gravesite leaving me and Zacky.

"Come on baby." Zacky said placing his hand on my shoulder. I turned around and walked away from the gravesite with him. I turned back once I was far enough away and looked back at them. The sun shone through the trees and right down onto the stones and the wind blew my hair away from my face. I smiled knowing that they were giving me a sign that they were in peace.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about my parents. I do wish they could be here and see the things I've seen and what Payge has. Zacky hasn't left my side since we left Maine and I never want him to. Matt has comforted Payge in a way I've never seen before but at least she's not a depressed mess like me.

"Hey guys and girls we're in Dallas!" the driver of the bus yelled back to us. Jimmy was the loudest of them all and I couldn't help but laugh. They're playing their last 4 shows here in Dallas before we head back to Huntington Beach and it's really sad to see it end but I have tons of memories I can hold on to forever.

The bus pulled in front of yet another hotel but as I looked out the window I noticed someone standing in front of the main entrance. As as got closer I could see it was Jerry. What the hell is he doing here? Once the bus stopped I hopped off and greeted Jerry with a hug.

"What are you doing here?" I asked smiling.

"Well I had some business to attend to here in Dallas but that fell through once I got here so I thought since you were going to be here on tour I would come and see how you're doing and catch a few shows."

"That's wonderful! I mean not about the business falling through but you coming to visit." I said making sure I clarified that last little part. Jerry chuckled and I gave him a short tour of the tour bus. He had commented the exact same thing I had said when I first got onto the bus myself and every now and then I still say it's a house on the inside and a plain old bus on the outside.

When Matt got us checked in, I found out that Jerry had a room on the same floor as us. How lucky could he have gotten? He sat in mine and Zacky's room for a while until we all had to leave to go to sound check before the concert. While they did their sound check, Jerry and I were catching up on the business of his gun store. Everything was going good there and the donations were rolling in. He said he's made over 10 grand since I've been on the tour. Damn...I don't know what stragedy he thought up to bring in that kind of money but in no time at all we'll be able to have that firing range.