I'll Lock You Up Inside

-Kellin’s point of view-
“Come on, the easier you make this the easier your time in here will be”

“But I’m innocent! I swear I didn’t do anything!” I knew it was no use struggling and pleading for them to believe me. Either way I was going to be in this place for a long time for something I didn’t even do. How did I feel? Terrified. 

Most of the people in here were locked up for a reason, they could handle themselves well. As for me? I was a short, skinny, 18 year old. Any one in here would only have to take one look at me to know they could break me in a split second.

I gave up struggling in the officer’s grip and let him drag me down the corridor in-between all the other holding cells. Glancing in a few of them I could see the typical prison guy; Well built, scruffy facial hair and just a general rough appearance. 

I made eye contact with one of the prisoners; he had slightly tanned skin, and black spiky hair. When he locked eyes with me they narrowed and he let out a small grunt as if to frighten me. Of course it worked I let out a whimper, cowering away behind the prison guard, only for him to tighten his grip on my arm and pull me forward to stand next to him.

For the rest of the short walk I kept my head down, not wanting to meet anyones gaze again. If I’m going to be in here I may as well make myself as invisible as possible. It’s going to be tough enough as it without the added enemies who were capable of doing serious damage to me with one hit. We came to a sudden halt in front of one of the cells. The guard pulled the keys off from his belt and unlocked the door sliding it open and gesturing for me to go in.

I stepped toward the cell door and paused turning to look back at the guard.

“Good luck kid.” He said with two hard slaps to my back causing me to flinch each time. On the final one he pushed me a bit harder causing me to stumble into the cell. After regaining my balance I turned around back to the cell door only to hear it slam shut and get locked. I stepped towards the bars and held on to them. My eyes started to burn slightly as tears threatened to fall.


“But I’m innocent. I swear” I whispered with my voice cracking slightly.

“They’ve heard it a millions times before and it will do fuck all. You’re in here now, so suck it the fuck up.” The voice startled me causing me to turn around quickly and breathe heavily. I held my hand over my chest trying to regulate my breathing again. I guess when I was being pushed in here I was too busy to notice there was actually someone else in here with me. He was lying on the bottom bunk on his back looking up towards the ceiling. I shakily looked over his body; He had short, messy light brown hair, and was well built; in fact a little too well built, he had a sleeve of tattoos made visible by the fact the sleeves of his faded orange T-shirt had been torn off.

Looking back up to his face I saw him giving me a look that I couldn’t quite place my finger on, was that pity I could see in his eyes? It confused me to say the least.

“I- Well I am innocent” I stuttered, still trying to keep the tears back as one rolled down my cheek which I quickly whipped away.


“Yeah sure. That’s why you’re in here isn’t it? Because you’re so innocent. Why have you even been thrown in here then? Murder? Rape? Stealing a chocolate bar from your local corner shop?” He snarled. He swung his legs over the side of his bunk and made his way towards me. Out of instinct I backed away towards the wall, he kept coming closer and when he was in front of me he grabbed my face with one of his hands, and turned it to the side with force and then back towards facing him. 

My breath hitched and my eyes grew wide as I kept them on him, he brought his face closer towards me keeping his eyes focused on mine. He could probably see the fear in them. He stayed there for a few seconds, just staring down at me then suddenly he let go pushing my head backwards and in doing so causing it to hit the wall. I hissed at the pain and watched him smirk and walk away back to his bunk. 
I breathed a sigh of relief, at least I wasn’t getting a punch to the face right away. But I knew it would come eventually, whether I provoke it or not.

I stood there awkward against the wall, what was I suppose to do now? There wasn’t much in here other than beds, a desk with a chair and newspaper on top, sink and a room in the corner with no door which I assumed had the toilet in. I knew I wouldn't be in this cell for long though, by tomorrow I would be moved out into a proper cell within the prison, I was just being kept in here for now until they figured out where and what they were going to do with me.

But what was I suppose to do before then? Just sit here and hope I can survive the night with a guy who already looks like he wants to beat me up? There was no point trying to make amends with him it would probably end terribly on my end anyway, he didn't seem like the friendliest person around and certainly didn't want to whiteness what those muscles could do if I annoyed him anymore than I seemed to have already.

"Don’t just stand there like a scared puppy that’s about to piss it’s self" His voice came, bringing me out from my thoughts.

"I-I don’t know what I’m suppose to do?" I stuttered out, great.

"You sit down on your bed, and you think about why the fuck you’re in here, until they come and take you tomorrow morning. Then when you've been moved you do the exact same thing. That’s all there is to do when you’re locked up here. It’s what they want you to do. In here, you’re the scum of the earth and that’s how everyone will treat you, like shit. It’s what we deserve right?" He spat out the last bit, more to himself than me.

"But i’m innocent, I don’t have any reason to be in here?" It came out as more of a question than I intended it to.

"Sure, you keep telling yourself that. It’s only going to make your time here seem even longer" He went back to just staring up at the ceiling. 
Since this guy has already seemed to claim the top bunk, I slowly made my way across the cell towards the beds and sat on the bottom one. That’s when I realised I didn’t even know this guys name, was I just suppose to call him “that guy” for the entire night I’m in here? Or just not talk to him at all? I decided to just break the awkward silence and ask.

"Hey uh, I didn’t catch your name" 

"That’s because I didn’t care enough to tell you"

"Well what am I suppose to call you? If we’re going to be locked up in this cell together I should at least know your name" I heard him sigh heavily from above me.

"My names Zack, i’m 22 and it’s none of your damn business as to why I’m in here. Now does that answer any questions you have now and for the possible future?" I just nodded my head, realising that he couldn’t see me and mumbling a "yes"

"Good" 

"I’m Kellin by the way, Kellin Quinn"

"I don’t care. Neither will anyone else in this hell hole"

"I just thought you should know…"

"Yeah well, you thought wrong"

"Sorry." I mumbled out, just loud enough so he would hear. The next thing I knew he was jumping down off of his bunk and standing in front of me.

"Look kid, if you want to get out of this place alive, just try and keep to yourself alright? We’re in here because we’re not nice people, so don’t expect anyone to change that for you. Sure there may be nice people around here, but why bother with them anyway when it will just lead to trouble. I’ll help you out alright? I’ll tell you how things work around here a bit so you can stay out of trouble, but this doesn’t mean we’re friends. We’re cell mates. In fact we're not even that, we're acquaintances. Don’t even bother trying to make friends in this place." He said, he seemed to have let his scarce appearance drop a bit, talking in a friendlier tone. It was nice that I at least had someone who would tell me how things worked. Which lead me to think, how exactly does he know how things worked around here? If he's in a holding cell like I am surely he's just got here.

"Wait, if you're in a holding cell, you've only just arrived, right?" I decided to ask

"I never said that I hadn't been locked up before now, did I?" He said with a smug look on his face, he made his way over to the chair by the desk and pulled it out, sitting on it backwards so he was still facing me.

"So what, you've been to prison before or something?" I asked, getting more intrigued about Zack by the second.

"Yep." He said, popping the 'p' at the end of the word. I expected to him to elaborate on his answer but he just stayed silent, scrunching up pages of the newspaper making them into balls and throwing them up in the air to catch them again.

"How many times before?"

"A couple."

"What for?" If I was going to be stuck in the cell with him for the night I may as well know why he's in here to so I know if I should be fearing for my life.

"Like I said, it's none of your damn business why i'm in here. I'm in here and that's all you need to know" He snapped back at me. He made his way back over to the bunks and climbed up onto his, making the bunks creak and shake, it worried me a bit that these bunks looked so unstable and ready to give in at any moment, but what else was there to sleep on in here?

-

I soon got bored of laying on the bunk in with the only noises being Zack turning the pages of the newspaper every 5 minutes and the creaking of the bunk every time one of us moved, so I decided to try and strike up a conversation with Zack again.

"Hey Zack can I ask you something?" I have nothing better to do, right?

"No not really" I heard him reply. I leaned off of my bed and grabbed the side of his, hoisting myself up to stare at him. He was sat there reading the paper ignoring my movements.

"Please? it's just something small I promise." He glanced at me over the top of the paper, staring at me for a while. When he realised I wasn't going to give up he sighed, folding up the paper and sitting up. He was trying to look like he was irritated with me but I knew he wasn't deep down.

"What is then? Make it quick I have things to do." He said sarcastically, tapping on his wrist to emphasise his point.

"What are we actually suppose to do here? Do they ever let us out of the cells? Do we have any free time, Okay maybe that was a stupid question bu-" I was cut off by Zack placing his index finger on my mouth to silence me.

"You know at this point i'm convinced you actually did murder someone by talking them to death." He said, rolling his eyes. I didn't even talk that much, did I? "But to answer your questions, I've already told you, You think. You think about what you've done wrong and why you've been locked up here. Which in your case if because you can't keep your damn mouth shut." He chuckled to himself at that. "And yes they do let you out of the cells, we get let out three times a day, breakfast, lunch and dinner. We have an hour of free time at lunch where you can either go out to the courtyards, library or go back to your cell and think some more. If on the off chance you get a visitor they will let you out then as well but the whole thing will be supervised so don't bother trying to plan an escape."

I nodded my head when he had finished talking and laid back down on my bed. From what Zack had told me, all there really seemed to do around here was think and sleep, and neither of those were the safest things for me to do. Before I had been arrested and locked up I had the tendency to keep my mind busy. The busier I kept it the better. The less I would have the nightmares and the thoughts. The less scared I would become. But now that i'm being kept between the same four walls with only myself as a distraction they where bound to come back. The memories and images of that night would begin to appear again and they were something I would rather forget.

I could only hope that I could find a way to keep them from coming back and haunting me again, and bringing back the memories of how I was blamed for it all and no one believed me otherwise. With my mind running on overdrive I began to feel drowsy and my eyes started to get heavy. I let sleep consume me and could only hope to wake up and have this be another nightmare.