A Winter Classic

A few nights later with the boys out of town and a night off from work Ellie had called up Casey to get together for dinner. She had a couple things running through her mind, a few thoughts she wanted to bounce off Casey and she knew that dinner at her place would be the best place to talk, no distractions. Ellie thought back to that night at the ACC, after dinner and the game he’d come back to her place for the night. Nothing had happened, well nothing beyond their usual make out sessions, before they’d eventually fallen asleep. By the time she’d woken up the next morning he was gone, onto a new city, and she was left here trying to sort out her emotions. Things were falling into place in her life, but she still felt like there was a small part of him that he wasn’t willing to give up yet, a small part that kept stopping him from taking that step with her and until she figured it out she would just keep feeling stuck. Moving around her bedroom, throwing clean laundry into their designated drawers, she didn’t even hear Casey when she let herself into her apartment. Didn’t notice the noise till Casey called out for her and pulled her from her train of thought.

“Honey I’m home!” Casey’s voice reverberated through her apartment.

“In the bedroom!” Ellie yelled back.

“I’ve got dinner.”

“Give me a minute, you can set it up.”

She’d laid out plates and drinks by the TV anticipating Casey’s arrival. After tucking away the last of her laundry she joined her in the living room.

“It smells so good!”

“I know this Chinese place is amazing, even if it’s completely out of our way.”

They sat down on the couch dividing the food before they began eating.

“So…” Casey started swallowing the bite in her mouth. “How’s the boyfriend?”

She thought about her question and couldn’t help the stupid smile that spread across her face.

“He’s good, on the road, obviously.” She answered waving her hand at the TV in front of them. The game was just about to start; she could see the camera panning across the Pens bench before swinging over to the Leafs. They’d be on the road for a couple days, ending with a trip to Montreal before coming back home for a few consecutive nights. “I didn’t get to see him much; I had a pretty busy week.”

“It happens.”

It did happen, her life had its up and downs when it came to work. The highs and lows, the busy times and the quiet times. She had a few days off next time he was home so that would make her feel better.

“So he invited me to the team Christmas party.”

“No way.”

“Way.” Ellie laughed with a sip of water. “Told me he’s never taken anyone to this thing before, that there are people who wanna meet me.”

Boom instant butterflies filled her belly, nerves built on nerves.

“That’s pretty serious.”

“I know.”

Ellie picked up her phone, opening the shots she’d emailed herself from his phone and passed them over to Casey. Her eyes widened as she nearly choked on her dinner, putting the plate down and scrolling through those pictures three and four times.

“Is this?”

“It is.”

Their uncanny ability of finishing each other sentences always made conversations so easy and really freaked some people out but any girl with a real best friend, someone who felt more like a sister then anything, knew that eventually overtime you just knew what the other was thinking without saying it.

“When did this happen?”

“A few days ago.” Ellie answered. “He wanted proof that I could actually skate.”

She laughed remembering the night, remembered falling right on her face the minute she’d stepped on the ice. It wasn’t her most graceful showing but those were memories that would last her a lifetime.

“I hate you, I hope you know that.”

“I do.” She laughed taking her phone back. “It was pretty cool.”

“I bet it was more than that.”

“It was.”

It was everything a girl really could ask for. He’d been so much more then she’d ever expected, was able to read her like no one ever had before. She looked over at the TV, halfway through the first period and the Leafs were already up 2-1. The team was doing well so far, a relief after their post season collapse against Boston and Phil in particular was really in a groove. By the time Ellie looked back over at Casey the twinkle in her eye told her she was about to say something she might not wanna hear.

“So Elle…”

“So Case…” Ellie mocked.

“What about his magic hands I’ve heard so much about this season.” She illustrated her point with a wiggle of her fingers and a laugh.

“I wish I had something more in depth to tell you on that home front.”

“What do you mean?”

“We haven’t…” she didn’t need to finish that sentence; Casey would put it together on her own.

“What?”

“Please don’t make me say it again.”

She hadn’t really wanted to say it the first time, it had just sort of come out. She’d always had the unbridled ability to be honest with Casey about anything and really when she’d invited her over this had been one of the things she’d wanted to talk about. She needed to talk to someone about it before she drover herself crazy.

“You haven’t…”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

Ellie shrugged her shoulders putting her plate down on the coffee table.

“It’s nearly happened a few times.”

“And…”

“And then it didn’t.”

“You or him?”

“Him.”

She’d never been the type to sleep with a guy too early, it had taken nearly three months till she even felt comfortable to sleep with her last boyfriend but this time things felt different. She couldn’t explain why, she didn’t know why, it just felt different. It was all happening quickly and her feelings were stronger then anything she’d ever experienced, it was almost a little overwhelming at times.

“Interesting.” Casey took another bite of her food.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong.”

Well she wasn’t too sure about that, something had to be wrong if he just kept pushing her away.

“You don’t think…” Ellie’s thought faded; she was scared to even finish it.

“Don’t think what?”

“Maybe he’s seeing someone else.”

“No.” Casey shot her down so quickly it almost stunned her. “There’s no way, it’s not like you’re not offering and he has to go look somewhere else, no, it’s gotta be something else.”

“I wish I was as confident about that as you are.”

“Elle he adores you, I’ve seen you two together, and it’s not someone else.”

“Then what?”

She’d asked herself that question so many times it has lost all meaning. She didn’t know what to think anymore, didn’t know what to do anymore.

“Unless…” Casey trailed off with a thought.

“Unless?” Ellie repeated.

“Did you ever think that maybe it’s just him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well you know…” Casey started with a pointed expression. “You told me that when you brought up the c-word last time he kinda freaked out…”

The c-word, which was Casey subtle way of talking about cancer, had always bothered her. Ellie got the feeling that Casey was afraid that if she actually said the word she might catch it which wasn’t fair to her. She knew that even the word could make people uncomfortable but for her it was part of her job, something she dealt with every day and she didn’t get the luxury of being uncomfortable.

“Yeah and…”

“Well did you ever think maybe it has something to do with that?”

Honestly no, the thought had never crossed her mind.

“I mean something like that, in that area, it’s gotta be pretty personal…” she watched Casey’s face turn slightly pink in embarrassment, watched her take a sip of her drink before she continued. “You of all people know how things like that change people.”

She did and the one time it had potentially come up he’d shut it down automatically; just like he’d shut down after she’d mentioned kids.

“Maybe.” Ellie started. “I just don’t know Case.”

“Do you really think him seeing someone else is more plausible?”

Ellie shrugged her shoulders. She prayed that wasn’t the case, knew that it would absolutely destroy her if that were true. She watched Casey’s face blur in front of her, took a deep breath before the tears slowly fell.

“Oh Elle.” Casey wrapped her arms around her. “I’m sure it’s nothing honey.”

She looked up at her friend, pulling back and wiping her tears.

“I love him Case.” There she said it, she’d been thinking it for a few weeks, had been mulling it over in her head but actually saying it out loud she knew it was true.

“Have you told him?”

“I just told myself.”

“Maybe tell him.”

Maybe, maybe not. She didn’t know really, much like her job this relationship had taken her on so many highs and lows and it had all happened in such a short period of time.

“You don’t think I’m crazy?”

“Why would I think that?”

“Cause we’ve been together for like two months!” Ellie started hands in the air. “If someone said that to me I’d think they were crazy.”

“Who cares how long it’s been, it’s how you feel.”

It was how she felt, for some reason saying it out loud even if it was to Casey took a lot of pressure off her shoulders. She’d been circling around the thought for a while now but even when she was alone she’d never dared to say the words out loud.

“I never thought I’d get so attached.” Ellie confessed. “I mean I knew it was possible but I can’t explain the feeling I get, even if it’s just seeing his name on my phone, its unexplainable.”

“It’s love Elle.” Casey confirmed. “Even if the physical isn’t there yet the emotional is and that’s the hardest part.”

It was true she’d been in both kinds of relationships. Physical was easy, it was never too deep and it never got complicated but trying to turn a physical relationship into an emotional one was a recipe for disaster. But when you clicked emotionally it was a game changer, the fact that Phil was constantly on the road had forced them to actually talk, to actually get to know each other when physically seeing each other wasn’t possible. It had taken effort on both their parts and they’d both made the necessary sacrifices to make it work.

“Your right Case.”

“I know.” Casey confirmed. “I’m glad you finally see it too.”

Ellie laughed wiping her eyes.

“You think I’m overreacting?”

“I don’t think your overreacting but I don’t think he’s seeing someone else either.”

This talk had really helped her see that, see that maybe she was wrong. He was trying, calls, texts, facetime; he was doing everything in his power to keep contact with her on the road. It just wasn’t something someone would do if they were seeing other people on the side. She knew talking this through with Casey would give her a clearer head; it would help her see that she was overreacting and she was going to leave this conversation feeling better about the whole thing. Ellie swung her eyes around to the TV, watched Phil sneak the puck past the goalie and increase their lead to 4-1. He celebrated with his teammates, skated past the bench bumping fists as she picked up her phone and sent him a quick text, looking great tonight stud ;)