A Winter Classic

It was a few days later by the time Ellie felt comfortable enough to go back home. She knew after ignoring Phil for a few days that he’d be knocking on her door the minute he heard her move around next door. She was about as prepared to deal with it now as ever and really she was just so confused. A few days away had done absolutely nothing to clear her mind on not only what was going on but what she needed to do. For days she’d tossed and turned, she’d waffled between decisions and still her heart always brought her back to the same realization. She loved him but she needed to know what was going on, if there was any possible truth in what Joffrey had told her and the only way she would be able to do that was to see him again.

Ellie had barely settled in when that knock came a few minutes later. She debated answering it, had nearly convinced herself not to when she heard his voice floating through the door.

“I know you’re in there Ellie.” Phil said. “Open the door.”

Open the door, it was just that easy, open the door and do this. She had no other choice she needed him to answer some important questions and she needed them answered now. After giving herself a small pep talk Ellie pulled the door open, stood there looking at him for a minute before he spoke.

“You don’t answer my calls, you don’t text me back, and you’ve been out of the house for days…” he continued to list all the ways she’d ignored him in the last few days. “What the hell is going on Ellie?”

It seemed they were going to do this now, so they might as well have it out inside her apartment. She waved him in, closed the door when he walked through then looked over at him.

“You tell me.” Ellie challenged.

“I have no idea what’s going on.” He started. “The last time I saw you, you were storming out of my place and then I don’t hear from you for days.”

“Well than maybe you should take the hint.”

He paused like she’d slapped him; he had no idea where all the venom was coming from.

“Did I do something?” he asked.

She didn’t mean to just dump this on him but she was tired and heartsick, she didn’t know what was going on either so it was time to just lay it all out.

“Are you fucking someone else?” When the words came out they nearly took her down. She didn’t know what she’d do if it was true but she knew it would destroy her.

“What?”

“You heard me!”

“Why would you think that?”

“Well you’re not sleeping with me.” Ellie pointed out. “So it’s gotta be happening somewhere else.”

Phil looked at her for a minute; to say he was shocked about this was an understatement. It had never crossed his mind that she would go there, that it was even a thought in her head. He didn’t know where this was all coming from but he was going to find out.

“What is wrong with you?” he countered. “Where is this shit coming from?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because your friends feel comfortable enough hitting on me, there’s gotta be a reason for that.”

“Wait, what?”

“Joffrey kissed me on Saturday.” She yelled. “Let me know that he wasn’t the only one with a wandering eye.”

He saw red; it clouded his vision till all he could see was the anger building inside of him. The thought, let alone the realization that some other man, his teammate no less, had put his hands on her nearly had him out the door ready to hunt him down.

“He’s a fucking idiot.” He yelled back at her. “And I promise you I will deal with him.”

“You still haven’t answered my question.”

“You want an answer?” he yelled throwing his arms up. “No. No, I’m not fucking someone else and you know why? Because I love you.”

The room went still at his words.

“This is not how I wanted to tell you that.” Phil continued. “But there it is, are you happy now? Does that answering your fucking question?”

She was completely speechless, this whole conversation was spiraling out of control, honestly she hadn’t really been ready to have it but sometimes things were beyond her control. This was definitely one of those things.

“Then why do you keep pulling away from me?”

“There’s a lot that still needs to be said.”

“Then say it!” She didn’t mean to yell but her patience was wearing then. The secrets he was carrying were going to destroy them before they even had a chance and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure it didn’t happen.

“I can’t have kids.”

Boom, there it was. He knew that was important to her, knew she wanted kids and he’d never be able to give them to her in the traditional sense. It was as good a place to start as any.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t have kids…” he repeated. “Well I can but not like you’ve imagined all your life.”

They’d never be able to conceive naturally, it wasn’t possible and it was something he lived with. Something he knew would come up someday, with some girl but it had always seemed so far away until Ellie.

“Do you want kids?” Ellie asked; since it was out in the open might as well ask.

“I do.”

“Then we’ll figure it out.” She reassured him. “If it’s something we both want then we’ll make it work whatever way possible.”

She wanted kids but there was more than one way to have them. A family was more than just blood bonds and matching eyes, it was all the blood, sweat and tears you put into it.

“You know that doesn’t really matter to me?”

He shrugged his shoulder; he wasn’t even looking at her anymore.

“Phil look at me, please.”

She waited till his eyes swung around to meet hers then shrugged her shoulders in response.

“It really doesn’t.”

“Maybe not now.”

“Not ever.” She replied. “Whatever shortcoming you think this is it’s all in your head.”

He knew that, he knew it was all in his head but sometimes those were the hardest things to overcome. He looked over at Ellie, she looked so sincere, so honest and open but he wanted to make sure that she knew none of this was her fault.

“You know this has nothing to do with you?” he asked. “It’s all me.”

“That’s not true.” Ellie countered. “It affects me too.”

“I didn’t mean for it to.”

“I know but it did.”

It had affected her in a lot of way.

“And if you love me I want you to talk to me.” She continued. “I want you to come to me.”

“I do love you Ellie.” It felt so good to finally say it, not just yell it at her in a moment of frustration.

“Say it again.”

He turned towards her, looked her right in the eyes and repeated the words.

“I love you Ellie.”

“I love you too.” She confessed. “I have for a while.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

She shrugged her shoulders with a smile.

“I thought you’d think I was crazy.” She explained. “How was I supposed to know you were just as crazy as I was?”

“Looks like I am.”

“I’m glad you are.”

“Me too.”

By the time the night was over everything was out in the open, those final walls had come down and the floodgates had opened. They both felt amazing, like all the weight in the world had lifted and Ellie could feel a huge difference in Phil’s demeanor. This was just what the needed and now it really felt like it was them against the world.