Dear Julia

Dear Julia

I watch you as you sleep, not wanting to miss a breath of yours. I watch you as I write this sad song. I watch you for your beauty. You make me feel alive, as I touch you softly with the tips of my fingers. Your skin like power, my hand like rock we meet and match to heal our self. I watch you as you lightly touch the flowers with your finger tips.

I watched you as you sat on the bench like swing, slowly rocking it as tears fell down your cheeks.
Your hair was lightly flying in the air but you looked like a goddess. I wished I could just hold you and say that everything was going to be alright but I knew that was a lie, nothing was alright. Everything was going wrong and it would always be wrong because I couldn't be your prince charming anymore.

You were perfect and you made me feel like I was on top of the world. It made me feel like I was your prince charming. Everything you did was perfect, the way you smelt like those flowers was perfect, your hair and your eyes and your nose and your mouth was perfect. Your touch was perfect and I knew I would one day take your perfectness away and that day felt like it came.

It was August 23rd 2007, there was a small breeze outside and it smelt delightful, I woke up early to make you breakfast knowing I wouldn't be back from work until after sundown. I wanted to make you feel special before I left. I make a fresh batch of coffee and a couple blueberry pancakes with a side of fruit and whipped cream. I gathered everything onto a tray and brought it up to you.
When you woke up it was so delightful to see the way you were. So cheery with your bright blue eyes just poking out making your skin pop out as well. You sat up and kissed me before eating.
I told you that I had to leave and you gave me one last kiss before I headed out the door.

Everything was black when I was finished work , but I just couldn't wait to get to see you again.
I remembered how sad you were when I didn't return after a little while, you started to get worried.
I remembered how many times you called my cell, but I was too busy to pick it up and answer you.

I regret not answering my cell, I miss your voice and you miss my voice.

Now I watch you as you sit beside a grave, gently touching and tracing the name. I watch as you cry, begging for someone to come back but nothing was happening.
I watch you as you sit next to the flower that we planted together that always grows and never dies like the love for each of us.

I will now always watch you as you live with your new family. I regret not paying attention because it cost me your love and my life.