Status: 1/1
How I Spent the End of My Summer
1
I should be going to sleep right now. All my lights are off and I'm laying in bed. It's 4 am I should already be asleep. The dreams should have started hours ago but I just can't take those nightmares anymore. I'm spending tonight the way I've spent every miserable hot summer night since you left; alone in my bed listening to all those songs you always swore you hated.
Do you remember those songs? I'd play them just to annoy you, just to see the cute way you'd scrunch up your nose as you'd whine "Za-aaack why do you always force me to listen to this weird garbage!" That was my cue to act offended and I'd turn up the volume and scoff at you, "I actually happen to like this garbage, Alexander." You'd roll your eyes and flip me off as I sang at the top of my lungs.
What happened to us? You were my everything Alex. My whole life I always felt so uncomfortable and out of place but then you came around and things changed you made me feel....different, accepted, even loved. For the first time holding you in my arms I felt at home. I knew no matter where we were as long as I had you I was home.
I knew it wouldn't last though, everyone knew it wouldn't last. You were everything I never was. You were smart where I was dumb, strong where I was weak, charming and charismatic while I was an awkward loner. I remember that was the only thing we'd ever fight about, you'd tell me how smart and funny I was, "you just have to try Zack. You can have the whole world me and you we'll move out west and never look back. Please just try for me babe." You'd plead. I knew you were wrong but I didn't want to disappoint you so I'd promise you I'd start trying and you'd smile and lay back down in my arms. You'd bury your face in my neck and whisper how proud of me you were. The weeks would go by I wouldn't change anything and we'd have the same argument all over again. Eventually you couldn't take it anymore and I'll never forget when you stood in my bedroom with tears in your eyes and told me you couldn't let me pull you down anymore. That was the end of us.
We only had two weeks of school left so I just stopped going. Now that I didn't have you it seemed pointless to even pretend to pretend to try. I got my diploma in the mail and cried for two hours straight when I realized we were supposed to be going on our celebratory road trip to Florida. I kept waiting for you to stop by or call but you never did . Finally I decided I couldn't take it any longer and I was grabbing my keys to go over to your house when Rian called to tell me you had left for California. That night I drank alone in my room until I passed out. It hurt more than anything that ever happened to me. I couldn't believe, still can't believe, that I meant so little to you.
I know you never think of me but you're still the only thing on my mind late at night when I lay in bed and stare at my ceiling. I can't sleep, I'm driving in my car not looking at the empty passenger seat you used to occupy. I'm going to Florida. I'll always love you, Alex, but I have to move forward without you.
Do you remember those songs? I'd play them just to annoy you, just to see the cute way you'd scrunch up your nose as you'd whine "Za-aaack why do you always force me to listen to this weird garbage!" That was my cue to act offended and I'd turn up the volume and scoff at you, "I actually happen to like this garbage, Alexander." You'd roll your eyes and flip me off as I sang at the top of my lungs.
What happened to us? You were my everything Alex. My whole life I always felt so uncomfortable and out of place but then you came around and things changed you made me feel....different, accepted, even loved. For the first time holding you in my arms I felt at home. I knew no matter where we were as long as I had you I was home.
I knew it wouldn't last though, everyone knew it wouldn't last. You were everything I never was. You were smart where I was dumb, strong where I was weak, charming and charismatic while I was an awkward loner. I remember that was the only thing we'd ever fight about, you'd tell me how smart and funny I was, "you just have to try Zack. You can have the whole world me and you we'll move out west and never look back. Please just try for me babe." You'd plead. I knew you were wrong but I didn't want to disappoint you so I'd promise you I'd start trying and you'd smile and lay back down in my arms. You'd bury your face in my neck and whisper how proud of me you were. The weeks would go by I wouldn't change anything and we'd have the same argument all over again. Eventually you couldn't take it anymore and I'll never forget when you stood in my bedroom with tears in your eyes and told me you couldn't let me pull you down anymore. That was the end of us.
We only had two weeks of school left so I just stopped going. Now that I didn't have you it seemed pointless to even pretend to pretend to try. I got my diploma in the mail and cried for two hours straight when I realized we were supposed to be going on our celebratory road trip to Florida. I kept waiting for you to stop by or call but you never did . Finally I decided I couldn't take it any longer and I was grabbing my keys to go over to your house when Rian called to tell me you had left for California. That night I drank alone in my room until I passed out. It hurt more than anything that ever happened to me. I couldn't believe, still can't believe, that I meant so little to you.
I know you never think of me but you're still the only thing on my mind late at night when I lay in bed and stare at my ceiling. I can't sleep, I'm driving in my car not looking at the empty passenger seat you used to occupy. I'm going to Florida. I'll always love you, Alex, but I have to move forward without you.
♠ ♠ ♠
My first ever fic woo! Sorry if it was lame.