That's How It Is When You're in Love
eighty three days
"So, have you told him? Have you, have you? Did you say I love you yet? Did he? Come on, tell me!"
It is a week after February 14, and I have.
It was a spur of the moment action, barely a whisper over the loud surroundings. Even Kevin had to question whether or not I had actually said it. In a later conversation, he agreed I could say it only if he could as well, so he, too, has said I love you. Some days I think he might really mean it. Most days I know he doesn't.
"I don't love him, yet. It's only been a few months. People don't fall in love that quickly."
"Some do," my sister continues, but I disagree. "Some people are lucky and find a person and in a few days they're married for life. But it's not like that for everyone, you know. It's okay. Austin and I clicked right away. We're not married yet since I want to make sure the boys like him."
I still disagree with her, despite. It took me months to really like Aaron. Even though I told him I love him within the first month, it was until years later that I actually felt a real passionate love. To be honest, after these last few months I'm not sure whether or not I loved him at all.
The love I feel now is different from what I had for Aaron. In some places, the few months I've spent with Kevin has been stronger and deeper than ever. The alternate can be said, too. There are some things six years of companionship can't replace, but Aaron was always too distant, physically and emotionally.
Maybe we're doomed to wonder if our past loves were as meaningful as our newer loves or if they even truly mattered in the first place...
It is a week after February 14, and I have.
It was a spur of the moment action, barely a whisper over the loud surroundings. Even Kevin had to question whether or not I had actually said it. In a later conversation, he agreed I could say it only if he could as well, so he, too, has said I love you. Some days I think he might really mean it. Most days I know he doesn't.
"I don't love him, yet. It's only been a few months. People don't fall in love that quickly."
"Some do," my sister continues, but I disagree. "Some people are lucky and find a person and in a few days they're married for life. But it's not like that for everyone, you know. It's okay. Austin and I clicked right away. We're not married yet since I want to make sure the boys like him."
I still disagree with her, despite. It took me months to really like Aaron. Even though I told him I love him within the first month, it was until years later that I actually felt a real passionate love. To be honest, after these last few months I'm not sure whether or not I loved him at all.
The love I feel now is different from what I had for Aaron. In some places, the few months I've spent with Kevin has been stronger and deeper than ever. The alternate can be said, too. There are some things six years of companionship can't replace, but Aaron was always too distant, physically and emotionally.
Maybe we're doomed to wonder if our past loves were as meaningful as our newer loves or if they even truly mattered in the first place...